I am utterly petrified...... is there anything I can do?

[LadyTophamHatt]

(I've copied and pasted this for out Due in Jan thread. I just want to ask the masses...)

I'm pretty sure none of you will have an answer for this but how can I stop feeling so anxious?

I'm am absolutey petrified that something bad is going to happen with this pregnancy. Really really scared.
Yes, I was nervous about things when I was PG before but nothing like this. As soon as I open my eyes in the morning my mind is racing and I'm constantly feeling worried/paranoid/scared that ever little niggle is a bad sign.

I'm not quite 6 weeks yet...if I go on worrying like this I'll drive myself mad.

There isn't anything I can do though, is there?

Magnolia pin pointed the feeling perfectly....I've had 3 happy healthy pregancies and now feel that my luck has run out and that something bad will happen no matter what.

I can't go on feeling such negative and sad thoughts, it can't be abit healthy.

LTH you poor thing. I can only imagine how you are feeling now is the way I'll be should I ever be lucky enough to fall pregnant again ( I had a miscarriage 2 weeks ago)

The wonderful nurse at the EPAC centre did say however that if I was anxious to tell my doctor that I had been spotting at about 7/8 weeks and to ask for a referral to be scanned- for reassurance. I hope you are able to do that to put your mind at rest.

Is there anyone you could talk to about how you feel, perhaps you could consider a session with a counsellor? I think I'm going to do this as I don't want to spend 12/13 weeks in utter turmoil. I'm going to try to disctract myself as much as I can

Mind you LTH you must have mass distraction with three scamps running around !

oh megg so sorry to hear your news

lth do email if you need to vent

So sorry to hear you are feeling aso anxious. There is something that really comforted me when I was anxious in my first pregnancy. My sister was working in quite a rough health centre and there was a young girl, a heroin addict, who was coming off the drugs and was pregnant. She looked so ill and undernourished during the pregnancy, but gave birth to a healthy, bouncing baby with no health problems. Thinking about this girl really seemed to help me. Things can go wrong with any pregnancy, but in the vast majority of times they don't. Take care.

Thanks Enid, that is lovely of you, I was going to send you an e mail because actually you having your DD3 really helped-sounds strange doesn't it? I was worried I'd upset you though.

LTH- i have just found out I am expecting no.4- early days mind- but I am having a terrible reaction. Had to do 4 tests to convince myself as I was in such denial! It sounds really selfish, but i do not want to pregnant now- it is just the wrong time- a year or so too early. I am withdrawn, ratty, just turned up to the doctor on the wrong day as i am so anxious about it all.

Just to echo what everyone else has said reeally LTH, sorry you are feeling like this.

I know exactly how you are feeling, I am currently 13+2 weeks with #2 and have been a wreck since i found out. I wasn't like this at all with DD but this time I find myself waking up in the night terrified that I am going to go to my scan tomorrow and there is going to be no heartbeat :(. I feel like i have worried non stop for the last 5/6 weeks and i find myself thinking and worrying about things that wouldn't of even entered my head when i was pregnant with DD.
I had early bleeding with DD at about 11 weeks where I had a scan at the EPU but i still got to have my normal 12 week scan at about 13/14 weeks too where i was able to get pictures.
I hope you get to have a scan to reassure you. Thinking of you

Just to echo what everyone else has said reeally LTH, sorry you are feeling like this.

I know exactly how you are feeling, I am currently 13+2 weeks with #2 and have been a wreck since i found out. I wasn't like this at all with DD but this time I find myself waking up in the night terrified that I am going to go to my scan tomorrow and there is going to be no heartbeat :(. I feel like i have worried non stop for the last 5/6 weeks and i find myself thinking and worrying about things that wouldn't of even entered my head when i was pregnant with DD.
I had early bleeding with DD at about 11 weeks where I had a scan at the EPU but i still got to have my normal 12 week scan at about 13/14 weeks too where i was able to get pictures.
I hope you get to have a scan to reassure you. Thinking of

Ooops Do you think I wanted to get my point across ?

irrational thought #34,284....rickman I had a card reading person tell me I'd have 3 children too.

She also said I'd marry a man with dark curly hair and wouldn't settle in my home town. Both of which are correct..along with the 3 present children.

Obviously I've forgotten all the shit that she got wrong but......YKWIM

Thanks for this girls, you are making me feel better.

God, I love mumsnet

I posted a thread on it at the time, I'll see if I can find it for you, it was reassuring.

Maybe not then, as search isn't working.

I was told the same thing as exp, but at a different time. The thing is though, you will always have 3 children, even when you've got 4.

yes....yes.....god..of course I will!
I really hadn't thought of it like that

That was like a lighten strike to my head rickman!

Oh LTH! You poor thing. I was exactly the same with DS. My 2nd pg, no probs conceiving, no probs with first pg or conceiving. Felt like i was pushing my luck (especially because at the time everyone around me seemed to be having m/c's or bad news about their pgs).

I drove myself into a frenzy and did similar to Enid tbh. I had mild pain in my side (but knew from my first pg that this was normal but had been given an early scan). I was referred for an early scan and actually saw the flutter of a hearbeat.

I hope your GP is of some help or support to you this morning.

xxx

That's the worst feeling in the world isn't it? I don't know too much about it but I've just been looking in to homeopathy for a couple of things and I wonder if that would be worth a go? It's certainly worth a try - you could phone up a local homeopath and ask them if anxiety is something that they can potentially help with? It's very hard to get yourself out of it once you start feeling anxious and scared isn't it? Just trying to offer a practical solution!

LTH - congratulations on your pregnancy :) (and a bit ) and sorry you're feeling like this :(

I was exactly the same - very hyper-anxious - during my pg with ds, which came 3 cycles after a mc. I knicker-checked obsessively, went for zillions of scans (I did have some bleeding, and later on some cervical changes) and it took me, tbh, until the 3rd trimester to get excited.

FWIW, having had three successful pregnancies makes your statistical risk of mc very low indeed (not that statistics help when one is feeling like this, I know).

Thinking of you. How did you get on today?

I was like this with DS2 - absolutely paranoid that I was going to have a miscarriage - nearly drove myself mad. Didn't calm down about it all until I started to feel him moving (which, thankfully, was quite early on).

I can't think of anything useful to say, really, except that we're all thinking of you. Oh, and fwiw, my pregnancy with DS2 was by far the most stressful, for all sorts of reasons, and he's the most calm, laid-back and sweet-natured of my three DSs.

LTH - congratulations :). I'm sorry you are feeling like this.

I struggled during my first PG we discovered my brother had cancer at the same time as I discovered I was PG - wasn't planned. Was convinced the whole way through that it was a boy and that there was no way I would have my son and my brother by the end of the PG. Did have a boy and I do still have my brother as well :).

Hope you can get the info you need from the docs and an early scan if you want it :)

LTH I went through this with my fourth baby. I did have a few scares with him (I lost a twin I had no idea I was carrying at 9 weeks which I obviously thought was the end of my whole pregnancy for one very long night before I found out about the twin) and then I had a higher than normal Downs Syndrome result but couldn't bear the thought of an amnio because of the miscarriage risks so I went though the remainder of the pg not telling anyone I was pg in case my baby had DS - (I couldn't bear the thought of their sympathy). But even before these scares, I thought the way you did - 3 healthy pgs, no-one has 4 kids these days, I am just being greedy, I will surely be punished for my greediness, etc.

I think to some extent it is normal. Well you and I both feel/felt it so that makes it normal in my book! I don't know what to suggest beyond what has been said already, but I just wanted you to kow that others have felt this way before you.

I also worried about what effect my constant worrying would have on the baby. Well, he is only 3 now so maybe his personality isn't yet fully formed, but all I can say is, he is a gorgeous, happy little boy and I never regret having him.

I'm back.

The first thing I said to her was I doubted she could do anything for me but she was really understanding.

I went to the doc's a while ago because my PMT was getting out of control and I felt depressed and full of rage all the time and she mentioned that appointment (although that was with a different doc)
It had crossed my mind that this anxiety could be linked to my moods from PMT. Obviously I haven't got PMT now but the doc had gaven me some info to read before about whether my PMT was more than just PMT and some sort of depression.
So may be that it....Yes I am thinking all sorts of irrational thoughts and anxieties but if it's linked to my moods before I was PG it sort of makes it a bit....I don't know.....just makes it feel different in my messed up pregnant head.

Sha also had a little moan about the useless receptionists at the surgery and their inability to do things quickly(she called them zombies) so she's going to chase up my MW appt and get that sorted. She also said she'll advise the MW about the way I'm feeling, who can then refer me to a special counciling unit if I want it.

Just need to think positive thoughts.......

The glass is half full
The glass is half full
The glass is half full

Just on the PMS thing, when you aren't pregnant any more I would thoroughly recommend the supplement Magnesium OK. It is BRILLIANT for this.

I'm also going to tell dh i went to the doc's about it.
Just so he realises how crap his remark is.

and to make him feel bad!

Hope you manage to think positive :)

Told Dh I went to the docs and he said "what for?"

"because if the way I;m feeling, about how anxious I'm feeling"

his reply without a hint of sympathy was "well they can't do anything"

Yes, I f*cking know that actually but a little bit of concern from you wouldn't go amiss.
Arsewipe!

He;s just taken ds1+2 swimming and they've been a royal PITA since they got home. when he asked me what was wrong I just said "Grrr them 2"

it which he replied with a sarcastic chuckle "well...you'll have another one soon"

Yes dear you're humour is side splitting!

LTH, antenatal depression is becoming as recognised (not sure if that's the right phrase) as postnatal. Rhubarb's the one to talk to about it - have you seen her website?

Men don't understand - how can they? It's not their body that's got such a responsibility. DH not interested at all in pregnancy (referred to boys as "parasites" when I was pg!) but so involved and great now they're here.

xxx

Oh hun, As I said on the other thread I know exactly how you are feeling

I gave myself a good talking to!!! But within a few minutes felt just as scared. Had awful cramps last night and was convinced I was going to get up to blood but none there!

I am going to pop to a Epu on Thursday morning as they have a walk in clinic. Will have to get 2 buses as my Dh is being like yours and says I am silly and will make things worse

Funnily enough I had terrible PND and I wonder if this anxiety is linked to it? Might speak to gp.

Thinking of you hun xxxxx

Just realised I haven't made you feel better one bit