Pregnant (IVF) Worriers

[Dildals]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1691674-Excellent-Egg-Buddies-continued-Anyone-having-IVF-ICSI-in-Jan-Feb-and-March-2013-please-join-us

That was a great idea MrsH, and good loot expatAl. You're supposed to buy your regular size in mat wear, I usually sit between a 10 and a 12 but I always went for 12 in mat wear just because slightly too big is far better than too small and comfort becomes more and more important. Also I put weight on my bum as well as my bump despite not gaining more than two stone and a 10 would have been too tight.

I've been feeding the baby most of the day. Oh and cleaning as I'm feeling very much back to normal now after the section.

I thought once they knew the date of conception there is a standard no if days they count until your "due date". Checking the size of the fetus is only relevant if they don't know the due date. All pretty much a guess anyway because babies come when they are ready (or not) not when anyone else is.

MrsHY what a great haul! So nice to have such generous people around. I have enough clothes at the moment but whether they will last til Oct I don't know, especially when it gets cold out.

Anyone else have veins suddenly becoming really prominent? My bosom looks like Stilton. I am pretty veiny even non pregnant as i have v light skin but its quite striking now.

Mariana - glad to hear you're feeling recovered from the section. How has the baby been sleeping?

Evening all

I hope you have all had a good day.

MrsH what a fab idea. I'm so envious of your haul. Marvellous work! I'm also 'blessed' in the bum department and am unsure about the Leigh jeans. They are very nice and really soft but I'm worried I'm giving everyone an eyeful cause they are quite tight. I'm going to take DP for a second opinion. Dildals I reckon you should tell top shop that you are recommending them to everyone. They might give you a free pair

Mariana I'm glad you are feeling better. Is the little trenchlet (love the name!) ok today?

Expat great news about shopping. I'm glad you feel relaxed and comfortable.

Fairy my boobs haven't changed that much yet. Abit bigger and my left nipple is permanently out (!) but that's it so far. Maybe the skin is stretching thinner so it looks more veiny or increased blood flow? I'm guessing.

Hello to everyone else. A busy day chez shaz. We have finally started the pre baby DIY prep. Cleared the loft. Dumped loads of crap in a skip and tomorrow we are laying boards so that we can organise it better. So much to do in 6 months but good to have made a start. Then we can start the decorating. Thankfully the parental units are coming to help with that.

Have a good evening everyone.

Shazzamattazza xx

Yes to the boob veins fairy! They're awful! I am very pale skinned too and my boobs immediately at about three days pregnant, doubled in size and went hideously veiny including one lumpy varicose vein. Lovely. Apparently it will disappear eventually.

That sounds very satisfying shazza, a good clear out is always beneficial. Good that you've got help coming with the decorating too.

Ghastly evening here with another colic attack. Trenchlet is screaming and crying and we're taking it in turns to pace up and down with her. I had mozzarella on my pizza last night so I don't know whether it's anything to do with that, but I'm not risking dairy again for now. I hope she wears herself out soon.

Morning ladies
I hope you all had a good weekend. I slept so badly. Woke up every time I turned over. Anyone else not sleeping (apart from Mariana who has a little bundle of joy to keep her awake!) I do not want to be going to work today.

Have a good day.
Shazza xx

Morning all. Hope you all had lovely weekends.

Shazza I am absolutely exhausted this morning. I feel like I have been run over by a bus. I had a really hectic weekend, went to the races yesterday which was great, didn't feel tired at the time. Now it has really hit me. I am going to take half a day holiday this afternoon so I can go back to bed. I am no use to anyone at work as I can barely keep my eyes open.

Marina how are you getting on with DD colic? Hope you have all had a more settled few nights.

I am still stressing over the nuchal screening thing. I rang a private clinic on Fri to see what they would do. But they say they need 7 days clear off the meds to get the truest result. My clinic have instructed me to start weening off my meds (both oestrogen and progesterone) from week 9 through to week 13 so I won't have 7 clear days before 13+6. I am waiting for the NHS screening person to call me but not sure when that will happen so I am just mentally stressing in the meantime. As our donor was 35 I feel we need to have the test but then I am not sure what we would do if we got a high result - aaaahhhhhhhhh

Fairy MrsHY I know that makes sense that 2 people with same dates for EC would have the same due date, but the fact that Guy's (who really should know what they're doing!) came up with a different one made me think that perhaps there's more to it. Also the nurse said that one was smaller than the other (which is quite normal) and then she said 'maybe that one implanted later', so that's why I thought that perhaps they look at size at seven weeks, oh I don't know. I will ask at the 20 wks scan this Friday.

On the Leigh jeans - I don't have much happening in the bum/thigh department so my advice is useless here!

MrsHY did you go on eastdulwich forum for your haul of maternity clothes? There's also a thread on there for a meetup for pregnant ladies giving birth in Sept/Oct/Nov. Did you see that?

I went to visit my colleague, who had 2 carseats spare, and she commented today on that both DH and I were totally not interested in the baby. (Well, being a bit harsh, but you know what I mean). As in, I am not interested in holding other people's babies or cooing over them. She told me to get stuck in and start holding them, changing their nappies etc, to get used to it. Good idea or not? I don't fancy it particularly, after all I will be doing enough nappies for the next coming years. But I can picture myself looking up on videojug on how to play with a baby/bathe etc. That's how uneducated I am in the baby space ... Thoughts? (To clarify, I am not worried that I won't think my own children will be the bomb, because they totally are)

sweet at the 12 wk scan they can still look at the nuchal fold (without blood tests) and give you some sort of indication?

sweetie I'm puzzled that the clinic recommended that you go off oestrogen and progesterone before your nuchal screening (presumably the blood test, not the ultrasound scan). I was still taking progesterone when I had my screening and no one mentioned that as a problem. Please don't stress - the number of pregnancies that turn out to have serious genetic problems is really extremely small (not to downplay the extreme difficulties it puts parents in who are diagnosed with one) so the chances are really extremely good you will have no problem, even if your donor is 35 (which is not that old, says I the ancient crone of 39 ;-))

Shazza sorry about your terrible night's sleep. I hope it's just a one off. I am noticing a lot more aches and pains and my SPD/PGP seems to have returned so at night I am sometimes uncomfortable. Maybe you should invest in some extra pillows? I have a long tube shaped one that is very squishy that I used under my bump and between my legs when I was in the 3rd trimester with my first.

Mariana - god, I'm sorry about the colic! I've been there! And I didn't find eliminating foods from my diet made the slightest bit of difference. We did use Infacol on DS and that did work to some extent but I can't remember what age that you can use it from. And on the bosom veins, mine also have gone from 32b/c to 34D already so perhaps there is some link there.

dildals I don't think how you react to other people's children has the slightest bearing on how you will be with your own. I have never been big on playing with children (although I am much better now that I have my own and have a clue 'what to do with them) and I had absolutely no problem immediately picking up DS and doing the necessary. The thing is that the transition from being inside of you to outside of you is actually rather slower than you would think (apart from the physical reality of course) and you end up holding them and watching them all the time when they are first born so everything (for most parents) just evolves naturally from then.

The only thing about due dates that matters is that the doctors start to count down to induction/CS once you've passed yours. So I was happy to have the latest date that could be calculated although by the time I get to 40 wks this time I may be raring to just get him or her out!

Hi all. Good weekend thanks but sweetie feel like I have been hit by a truck too. Was up all night feeling so sick that I didn't sleep, am off work today as just couldn't muster the energy to get dressed and still feel sick! Hope I'm not this pathetic all the way through! DH is being very lovely but I know I am being a right moaning cah at the moment!

And dildals that woman is a fidiot. People who want to be good parents are good parents irrespective of how they feel about other ppls dcs. As for playing with kids, I think you find your own style. DH is ace at playing shops and farms and cars and so on with dd, whereas I am better at the cut and stick and bake and draw kind of stuff. You will be the kind of mum that you want to be. X

crisps fairy she wasn't implying I would be a bad parent. She was merely implying that I should get some practice in, before Ruckus & Chaos arrive. She said that she wished she'd done that, so that she wouldn't have worried so much about the practicalities (and being responsible for someone else's life). I am not sure whether it works that way to be honest. I can do a nappy change and perhaps get my friend to hand her baby over for a bath (although her baby is 5 weeks old and she doesn't look too keen to hand him over to anyone!) but that's still not the same as taking care of baby 24/7 or the concept of actually being responsible for one. Did any of you lot get some nappy changing etc practice in beforehand?

fairy when is your EDD again? Is it 15th of Oct?

dildals fair enough then. I am just probably more defensive than you and don't take kindly to 'advice', it always seems a bit judgy and 'you wouldn't understand because you don't have kids'-y. Have only told a few ppl about the pregnancy and twins but have already had lots of 'ooh, it'll be a nightmare, you two won't be able to cope'. My favourite bit of having dd was the first few clueless weeks wher we figured it all out!

crisps totally know what you mean. I HATE it when people go 'oh it will be so hard in the beginning' 'good luck!' 'you don't know what you've let yourself in for'. I always say something along the lines of 'yeah it will be hard, but I won't know any better, and I am sure having one is tough too' And then add 'by the way, it's a bit too late to do something about it now anyway'.
I must say though, lots of people have also told me that twins are super special, that we will absolutely love it.

Hello all! Hope you all had nice weekends.

shazz I too had a terrible night?s sleep last night and it seems to be a reoccurring thing for me. I wake up needing a wee, and then can?t get back to sleep for several hours. I?ve been told by the midwife that it?s a normal pregnancy symptom. DH thinks it?s my body getting ready for the sleepless nights when the baby comes!

fairly literally on Friday I notice some veins in the old boobs! I?m taking it to be a good sign that all?s well (desperately looking for a positive?)

mariana hoping the rest of your weekend was colic free. Is there anything you can do to help? I?m so clueless about it all!

Speaking of which, didals I was a bit shocked at your friends comments. I think most parents with a new baby wouldn?t like it, if you did start grabbing it and bathing it! I'm never sure with friend?s kids about how involved to get.

sweet I was told to stay on the progesterone until the 12 week scan, but maybe it?s different for twin pregnancies? I can?t see how progesterone would affect hcg, which is what they measure I think? Although I really don't know much about it all tbh.

mrshy your haul sounds ace! I?ve gone a bit mental ordering maternity clothes from on-line shops. I figured that if it has all gone tits up at the 12 week scan, I could send them back. I?ve noticed that stuff in my size doesn?t hand around for long, particularly if it?s reasonably priced, so I thought I?d go for it. I did try on some normal stuff with elasticated waists at the weekend, but they all looked wrong and I figured I wouldn?t fit into them much longer anyway. Maternity clothes wise, ASOS was pretty good and I like some of the Gap stuff. I intend getting some leigh jeans too (thanks for the tip didals). Do you have your 12 week scan soon?

Re due dates, apparently mine might change at the 12 week scan, as they take it on the size of the baby, rather than ET/EC. Seems a bit odd, but guess they can implant at slightly different times. I think my DD might be put back a few days (if all is fine, fingers crossed!), as the embryo was measuring at the lowest end of the normal scale size-wise at the 6 week scan.

I had my booking in appointment yesterday with the midwife at the hospital. She was really nice and I?m pleased with my choice of hospital, as it seemed ok for a London one (M&S cafe, mmmm)! I went for St George?s in the end and they are recommending that I use the midwife led birthing centre at the moment. It was quite exciting to get my bounty pack and also to be somewhere that I don?t have to try to hide the pregnancy.

I do have to see a consultant though. Apparently with IVF pregnancies, they won?t let them go much over the due date. I asked why and was told it?s to do with them knowing pretty much exactly how old the embryo/placenta is. So if I?m too late, they would induce. Has anyone else been told this?! Less than 2 weeks until the 12 weeks scan now? I had to wait for my blood test outside the scan rooms and was tempted to run in and grab a scanner, to see if there is anything in there!

I'm a bit puzzled by your friend Dildals. Holding someone else's baby for a few minutes wouldn't prepare you for your own and having them full time.

A big yes to veiny boobs. The leaking is getting progressively worse too. I couldn't feel any less sexy at the moment.

My due date was different on the actual nuchal scan report (about a week ahead if I remember correctly) but my ob told me the original due date is the one everyone would adhere to. Interesting that other places do it differently.

Sweetie, I don't understand having to come off your meds. What effect would they have on your scan/blood results?

Mariana, I'm sorry your wee girl is so uncomfortable. I'm no expert but a friend has recently had this problem. Her baby boy was obviously so uncomfortable after feeding - his whole body would go rigid and he'd scream. Eventually after 6 weeks or so they put a tube down his nose and discovered he had massive reflux. He's on meds now and is a different baby - putting on weight and so contented. Apparently it's something cs babies can get.

Shazza, yes I have incredibly sleepless nights. I wake up about 1am and am amazed it's only that time and then it continues through the night.
I am really struggling with work at the moment - after 2 busy days I'm totally wrecked and talked a bit about it at my apt. My doctor said he'd sign me off for whatever I wanted, maybe stipulating 50% work only. My work wouldn't be happy but it would mean I could negotiate much more time working from home which would make a huge difference.

Dildals I am not sure practice for a few hours with someone elses DC will be anything like having your own. Perhaps they could show you the basics, nappies, bathing etc but you will find your own way of doing things and as Crisps says that is the exciting part for you and DH to do it together. I am not the most maternal to other peoples kids but am excited about my own.

Crisps we have only told a few people, SIL actually laughed and asked how on earth will we cope. As if we won't cope, we will just get through it one way or another. I can imagine we will have more comments to come as we tell more people. It is very rude really, especially when they know what we have been through to get this far.

All is well again in Sweetie Land for now The screening lady from the NHS has rung and explained things to me. I think the private screening clinic had got me confused as they didn't ask what meds I was on and apparently some (such as HCG) can provide an inconclusive result. But the meds I am on will be fine and as Dildals says it is the measurement that gives a lot of information. She has left me her mobile number in case I have any more questions. Neurotic moi???

Dildals, I wouldn't bother with trying to get baby experience. As others have said already, you'll pick it all up as you go along and to be honest it isn't rocket science! I hate the 'only parents understand' schtick. Also you will cope absolutely fine with twins because it's all you'll know, but actually most of us would cope because there's no choice not to!

Body pillows are brilliant. If they don't cure your insomnia they at least make you enormously more comfortable whilst lying awake.

Only one night of colic thank god but I think there's reflux going on too as she will not lie flat on her back in her cot. I'm seeing if stricter dairy avoidance can help (apparently reflux and dairy are also linked) before going to the GP about it. I look about 175 years old!

I also went mad on eBay. I've some lovely tops coming (where lovely equals drapey and suitable for hiding massive veiny boobs and a marshmallow stomach. ^^

Hello everyone

I'm sorry but I can't believe that people that are commenting if we dont beg to hold their babies or are actually suggesting that you practice before the baby arrives. I think that this is very rude. I completely agree that the first few days/weeks will be an intimate time with Baby/ies and DHs full of discovery and wonderment and yes panic and stress but so what? I don't think that me changing a friend's baby's nappy while she watches ( and i assume chips in on what im doing wrong) will be crucial to my ability to cope.

I really feel for those of you with twins who have people saying you won't cope. I've only got one bun in my oven and I've had people laugh in my face and say that I have no idea what's coming. Maybe I don't but I find that insulting. My family and friends, much as they love me, have me down as the flakey one. All red high heeled shoes and no motherly skills. This upsets me greatly. SIL from hell actually told my brother that I wouldn't make a good mother. Ok this was before i was pg but she wonders why I don't like her. Obviously not everyone is like this but it is something that is upsetting me at the mo. sorry rant over. As you can probably tell this subject has struck a chord with me!

I've seen in the mothercare catalogue a pregnancy pillow. Is that worth the investment? I put a cushion under my belly when I was cuddling into DP watching tv last night. So I reckon I might find that useful at night.

Sorry for the touchy post. I'm very tired and tetchy and I'm only just on my way home from work. I'll be perkier tomorrow

Night everyone. X

Your SIL sounds like a right old charmer Shazza. She must be seriously discontented about her own life to be such a cow about yours.

I don't get the thing about motherly skills. Surely that comes when you actually have a child. I can't wait for the figuring it out bit. Just the three of us learning together in our own little bubble.

Hope you feel better tomorrow.

Just one other thing, it drives me nuts when family assumes they know everything about you. I've had jokes about no more sleepless nights and not being able to buy expensive creams etc. Is it banned to spend money on moisturiser when you're pregnant anyway? My DH left a part time job when he was 15. He had to work until 1am and then walk home along the motorway and go to school the next day. His family still see him as work shy 27 years later!

Hi Shazza - firstly, don't pay a premium for something having 'maternity' stuck on the label. I got a king size bolster pillow from here www.linencupboard.co.uk/products/1157/hollowfibre-bolster-pillows_king-5ft-bolster-pillowcase.html that was cheaper and is still going strong a couple of years later. There are cheaper ones to be had on eBay which is where I got my first one from but the stuffing went very clumpy. This one has been fine though. Remember you'll need a couple of long pillow cases to go with it too.

I think I had the same role as you in my family. I was the oldest sibling and the last to have kids. I was characterised as too interested in frivolities like eating out, buying clothes, going on holidays, it was as if I was not worthy or serious enough to be a mum. I was portrayed as a bit of an airhead (when ironically I'm the only one of them who has a PhD), one BIL in particular used to say 'Oh you'll not know what's hit you All. The. Fucking. Time. It was very, very annoying. It carried on after I had DD1 as of course I only had one child, not two like him. It changed when I lost my babies as of course none of them had been through something like that, so I became Tragic then. Which was easier than Airhead. Same BIL said the other week about how hard it was having a newborn and I retorted that it was a hell of a lot easier having a baby than losing a baby. That shut him up.

See, raw nerve here too - but I do completely sympathise!

Ha yes to the not spending money on moisturiser Expatal. Despite being an actual mum I still manage to spend a fortune on make up and frankly wouldn't leave the house without mascara on.

Gah! I'm mentalling now but I think you get fixed in a certain role by families that you can never ever change. It's utterly infuriating.