Choice over CS dates - mine booked in secret

[redwellybluewelly]

I have no friends in RL who had elective sections, but everything I read on the internet suggested that if the only birth choice you get is to choose your child's birthday then you should have this option.

I found out on Tuesday that my ELCS had been booked without my knowledge. I've very angry as I have already had major issues with trusting this hospital.

Just wondered what was standard practice.

You might be better off posting this in Childbirth.

Personally, as long as I get a healthy baby I couldn't care less what date it arrives. The NHS is stretched enough without catering for specific and unnecessary date requirements.

I think you're being unreasonable to be angry. They will have booked it at the medically most suitable date. They won't have thought they were booking it in secret, you are being over sensitive and somewhat ridiculous to think they have.

If you want a choice, go private.

Sorry I am being harsh but it has to be said.

Apologies am I misunderstanding this? You are getting upset because you can't choose the exact date.....really?

I have had 3 electives and my choice was a Tuesday or a Thursday, with a vaginal birth you wouldn't choose so may I respectively suggest a little perspective, healthy baby now that is important.

Your CS will presumably have been booked at a time that the doctors deem right for delivery, and also to fit in around other patients, etc.

I think the service is stretched enough already.

When I had ds, I was sent a date for the elective, I felt it was too early (as both my dd's were 2 weeks over), and phoned to ask for a slightly later date.

But as far as I know they usually book it and let you know the date, or it is discussed at a consultant appointment.

Interesting.

The reason I thought it might be discussed in some way was because my consultant team are (very) well aware we have to arrange childcare for my daughter who has additional needs caused by the same hospital cocking up her delivery. Like I said - I have trust issues and thought it would at least be discussed with me - given I'm the one being sliced open.

think the problem is that it is probably standard to just issue a date ( as they did with me), but I know that there was no problem with me ringing to ask for the date to be rethought. Is there a midwife or consultant that you have some rapport with, that you could call in order to discuss the date? You obviously have a really good reason for trying to arrange a date that would suit your other child. Obviously it is important that your baby is born as near to 39 weeks as possible, to prevent potential breathing difficulties.

I'm really sorry to hear about your previous experiences, it is very hard to have to give birth in the same hospital, when you have had a bad experience the first time round (I had this with dd1 and 2). I hope you can find a good solution.

It's surgery, it needs to be booked in by the hospital, they can only book a certain number of ELCSs per day and even then you might get sent home from hospital and asked to come back the next day if there are too many emergencies.

I got given my date, never expected otherwise.

thank you hazeyjane

I was under the misleading impression the consultant understood my concerns after meeting us privately out of clinic to talk through how they would handle this pregnancy and ensure I was supported.

Agreed on the breathing issues - the last place we want to be (again) is NICU.

They will book the appointment and if it doesn't work you can ask for it to be moved.
They could not possibly consult with every pregnant lady in advance. It would be impossible. The only people that would have that little bit more flexibility in choosing the date are those that are going private, but even with that, if it's not a date that suits the health of the unborn child, or when the surgeon is available then it won't happen on that date.
I'm afraid that your expectations are too high for your control over the date your child is born. Were you ever told by the hospital that you would be able to dictate the date or are you going on the experiences of others that you have read on line. I understand that you want to feel in control, especially if you had a very traumatic experience with the hospital previously. Would it make you feel better to switch hospitals?

As for perspective - yup - DC1 - coma baby with life long disability and seizures.

caused by the hospital

so I have perspective.

p.s. CS can lead to issues to you know

Crossed posts - I see that you have discussed this with the consultant already.
Maybe call them, say there has been a misunderstanding and you thought you would be consulted about this.

No option to switch units - I was just interested in what others had had because I don't know anyone whose had an ELCS, just someone who had a CS because of a breech birth and she was given a few dates to choose from.

We were told that we would be consulted at every stage to increase my confidence in returning to the same unit. But overall I was just interested in knowing of others had had the choice not the crass judgy comments about getting perspective, getting a healthy child

Well.. you didn't say any of that in the OP though, did you?

Have you spoken to them?

Im sorry but I think you are expecting too much. There will be other women to consider who also require c sections. There will be other operating lists for the drs - women who need cervical sutures, ERPC, gynae operations, fertility investigations. They just don't have an open diary to do it any time. They will have slotted you in at the time they think is safest for you and your baby while taking into consideration all these other womens needs and safety. I had no choice over the date of my c section and would never expect to.

I commented on the info given initially, your OP made no reference to what went on at the hospital and the resulting disability to your DC1 so suggesting you have some perspective was apt in my view.

Given the info you have subsequently given maybe counselling would be beneficial as you do not sound like you have come to terms with what went on or change hospitals and consultants. You need to fight you corner for what you want and can cope with.

There is always an option to switch hospitals and consultants, might not be easy and inconvenient but doable, there are more than a single hospital in most countries so switch.

On the issue of childcare, many women have other children to consider but we all manage. Find solutions not problems would be my advice.

Oh and finally in future give a fuller more comprehensive account please rather than snipping when people tell you to get a grip when you have given half of the facts.

I wouldn't expect to be given a choice but it would be nice to be consulted on the date before it was fixed - if there was a major problem I would expect them to be able to move it.
Seems a bit unreasonable if you weren't consulted but not particularly surprising and after all this is the NHS and we are getting (supposedly) first class care for free! If we want a free choice we pay and go private.

ps I don't believe for a moment that yours was booked "in secret", given your circumstances you could have hoped for a bit of consultation on the matter but I suspect it is hospital policy for ELCS to be booked in according to capacity and I would be very surprised if it wasn't the same for other women.

No. There are not always options for changing hospitals - we live in a rural area - we have ONE hospital which has a Level 1 NICU

as fro a fuller account I didn't realise I'd be encountering the bitch slapping brigade - I've seen more insides of the NHS in the last two years than I care to think about and as for finding childcare for a child with seizures - you try sometime yellow - my family won't help as they are too frightened.

If I'd posted in AIBU I'd give fuller account but like I said - didn't expect the backlash, it was a genuine question about birth choice and procedure. No point in further comments as I'm hiding the thread.

redwelly you must be very worried about this birth as the hospital seems to messed up your last one. I feel very sorry for you.

I was offered a choice of dates for my ECS, but that was 19 years ago, so things may have changed. If the date is inconvenient then phone the hospital and ask for it to be changed.

Good luck with it all. I'm sure this one will go well.

Why do people have to be so mean?

RedWilly did say in her OP "I am very angry as I have already had major issues trusting this hospital"

Unless you don't understand written English, it's pretty obvious there are major issues with the hospital., so it's perfectly reasonable to ask "I was just wondering what was standard practice"

Bloody, leave it out with the harsh posts! Redwelly, was asking a perfectly reasonable question. I discussed which dates with the consultant, and didn't have half the issues the op has to contend with.

As for the comment about everyone having to sort childcare, I'm sorry, but if you have a child with additional needs, trying to arrange childcare can be very very hard.

In my opinion, in these circumstances the hospital should be bending over backwards to try arrange as stress free a birth as possible for the op.

Redwelly, do you have anyone who could act as an advocate for you? I know when I had dd2, I managed to find a mw, who had been involved in dd1's birth, who helped with sorting out a birth plan, and talking to the postnatal ward ( a different set of circumstances to yours obviously) to try to allay some of my fears.