Update from Anxious Mum to Be, Who Drank (A Lot) Before She Knew

[tsmith02162013]

I started two threads because I was trying to find stories of women who drank alcohol (frequently and/or heavily) before they found out they were pregnant. To recap very quickly- I was having a glass or 2 (rarely 3) of wine with dinner most nights of the week. When I thought my period was coming on, I went to a party and had 2 bottles of wine. It turns out that I was 4 weeks pregnant when that happened.

I have an anxiety disorder, a recent diagnosis. (I started therapy to cope with the pregnancy stress.) I found myself drowning in fear and anxiety over what I did and the risk of harm to the baby, to the point where I was actually at a clinic today, about to have an abortion at 10 weeks.

I could not do it. For one thing, my husband is completely against abortion and wants this baby. For another, I remembered that there is still a chance that the baby could be okay. I kept thinking that if I terminated, it would all be over. But it felt like that was just something I was saying to myself, to find some relief.

So, I walked out. And I will not go back.

In reassuring myself that I did the right thing for me, for this pregnancy, I went back and re-read the posts from women who responded to my previous threads. Thank you again for your thoughts.

tsmith glad to hear you have reached a decision that feels right for you.

Best wishes for the future

Ah sorry only have your post loaded on my phone so just read the second half. I hope that you have found peace without the hassle of such pressure.

Ring your doctor- they will explain that your baby has not been put at any risks. No need to worry. You just need to be armed with the facts .

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

Stop worrying it will not have harmed your baby in any way although I wouldn't makea habit of it. As Cheffie says ring your doctor if you need professional reassurance.

The day before I found out I was PG I was dancing on a table in Vegas completely blotto!! DD is perfect and asleep (hurrah) next door

I remember your last thread. I remember being terribly worried about what I had drunk before I found out. My lovely DS is currently asleep next to me. He's a very intelligent, lovely little boy with no health problems (apart from the usual cold etc!) That worry I experienced seems so long ago now. I don't usual recall it even except when I am reminded specifically eg by this thread.

The chances your baby having health problems because of drinking in early pregnancy are very small, especially as the egg wouldn't even have implanted for some of that time. The biggest risk to your baby right now is the stress you are experiencing, which is making you consider abortion - if you think about it, that's a much more catastrophic outcome as far as the fetus's health is concerned than any of your worries about the drink! (I would not say that if this was not a wanted baby btw but it seems clear this is).

I'm really pleased to hear you're getting help with the anxiety. I hope you get to a point where you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. When your lovely baby arrives, this episode will start to becomeca distant memory.

The drinking isnt a problem. The anxiety is though, so good luck with getting it sorted so you can enjoy your baby

I'm not a regular drinker but the week before I found out I was pregnant I went on a big session with the girls. When you didnt know you were pregnant you should not panic about the drinking, as long as you keep off it now. Hormones send you crazy so the anxiety could be down to that. Make sure you get plants of support from hubby, you are in this together x

Hi tsmith,

I've been reading your threads and just want to know how things worked out for you?

I'm in a very similar situation, drank waaay too much at the start of week five as well as moderate drinking up to then and have been freaking out since finding out I'm pregnant. I also have anxiety/obsessive issues and have been struggling to let go of my fears (now in 8th week). I have no intention of terminating my pregnancy (really want my little bub) but don't want to be worried the whole pregnancy!

How did the rest of your pregnancy go? Did you manage to let go of your fears? I hope you have a happy healthy baby now and no more anxiety!

Hi Pickle might be better to start a new thread as people will be put off by the zombie thread alert.

Just FYI I only found out I was pregnant with Dd1 after thinking a stinking hangover shouldn't last a week. It had been Christmas party season and I had been drinking wine and spirits heavily, I don't normally drink so a Christmas binge.

Pg was fine DD1 is now 4 bright, forward and (god willing) no health issues. Really don't worry I think it's only a problem if you continue to drink regularly and heavily but do (as this poster did) seek help for your anxiety.

Just to add a positive story:

I was almoat 22 weeks when I found out I was pg with ds. I worked in a nightclub. Drank alot. Wine with dinnerevery night and then out about 3 times a week. I was 20.

I worried and worried throught the pregnancy. I also smoked up until I found out.

Ds is fine. He is 2.9 and crazy. :)

I am not in any way promoting drinking/smoking in pregnancy as I really am against it. ( apart from the odd half guiness etc for iron......just be sensible type thing)

But just wanted you to know that it can turn out ok. :)

Hello, don't worry at all about the drinking - I drank a bottle of champagne 3 days before my BFP and now nearly at 20 weeks. Be sure to get advice and possible medication to control the anxiety. It isn't good for the developing baby. Not that I want to add to your anxiety but please do go speak to your doctor and get a referral to a perinatal psychiatrist if possible which will be such help and relief for you. I have biploar and understand the types of feelings you describe. It isn't fun but with support you will really enjoy your pregnancy.

Congratulations :)

Sorry pickle that was for you not the OP.

Me and my friend went on a hen do 4 days abroad as you can imagine there was copious amounts of alcohol involved. when we got back my friend had to have a scan for something else and found out she was 8 weeks pregnant which was a major shock as she was told she would probably never conceive naturally. anyway the baby absolutely fine.

i was on an 'all inclusive' honeymoon during my early pregnancy. Enough said! Got back the day before my period was due and had a BIG nite out with the girls- i'm talking 'not remembering how i got home' big. Period was due the next day, did the test, BFP. My sis and sil said they were the same withall their pregnancies, it's like your body knows it's the 'last hurrah' or something. Nothing wrong with any of their kids!
I'm not worried about it and you shouldnt be either. My gynae said it's perfectly normal and you cant put your life on hold while TTC.

I found out I was pregnant in January... Many years ago my reaction was horror for exactly the same reasons.. I had just enjoyed a WILD Christmas .

My dd is nothing short of a genius.

Sassy, clever, funny, beautiful & a source of complete joy.
No problems whatsoever.

Give yourself a break now, enjoy your pregnancy and eat healthy etc. you will be fine

Please don't worry yourself any more, I'm sure your baby will be fine. If anecdotal evidence helps, I was 8 weeks pregnant before I found out as I was on the mini pill, so had no periods for months and it was completely unplanned. I was drinking 'normally' (aka daily 2+ glasses of wine and a lot at weekends) until I found out I was pregnant, and was petrified I would have harmed the baby. DS1 is 12 now, always been fit and healthy and is borderline genius in my opinion (joking) !!!! Of course, in my next 2 planned pregnancies, I was super-careful with alcohol when ttc.

At 4 weeks your embryo would still have been nourished by the yolk sac, so you will have done no harm. Congratulations and good luck!

u should of seen the amount i drank before finding out i was pregnant i was two months gone before finding out! i went to a festival went clubbing as well as the many weekends of social drinking ( am irish ) i did worry but at the end of the day of the day wots done is done. am 39 weeks tomorrow and all checkups and scans have shown a happy healthy baby. having an abortion due to the amounts u have drank are a tad extreme.

Thank you everyone for replying to me! It really does help to hear your stories :-) so glad I joined here, what a wonderful non-judgemental support network!

Am going to try and see someone to help with the anxiety as I'd like to enjoy my first pregnancy rather than worry the whole way through.

thanks again guys! ...you might see me back but I'll start my own thread like softlysoftly suggested :-)

ps - tsmith if you are out there I'd still love to hear an update!

oh and tgamble good luck with your birth! if you have time or energy after I'd love to hear how you go! must be so exciting it's so soon!

One of my best friends drank heavily and did some recreational drugs in the 6 weeks before she found out she was pg. she shit herself but baby is now 6 months and perfectly fine.

I had a twelve hour bender the day before I did my pg test (hungover ... Was not expecting a positive!) baby so far is absolutely fine and my GP reassured me that it wasn't a big deal.

I understand how you feel, it was New Year's Day when I found out I was pregnant and suffice to say I drank more than two bottles of wine the night before and with Xmas had been consistently drinking waaaay to much before that. Dd is now 3 and absolutely perfect and a good bit above average intelligence wise if I do say so myself. FAS is generally something that affects the children of chronic alcoholics who continue to drink to excess throughout pregnancy. If every child who was exposed to excessive alcohol was aborted I dare to say there would be very few babies around. All the best with your pregnancy

Good lord, woman. Do you know how many babies were conceived by pissed mothers? This is your anxiety talking. Stop drinking now and all will be well.