London Transport - Pregnancy Priority Seat

[lilly40]

Hi,

I'm in the process of writing to London Underground to ask why they can't make it easier for pregnant women using the underground. I was on the underground the other day and was told when asking for a 'pregnancy priority seat'.

"No, I paid for my ticket, and I didn't ask you to get pregnant"

Even when I pointed out they were sitting in a priority seat, reserved for pregnant women, they refused to get up.

This is of course not London Undergrounds fault, but surely, they can enforce publicity/advertising so people are aware.

I'm asking mumsnet members to write to London Underground and support me on this. You can write anonymously if you wish, or with your name and address. The more women that write, and more so pregnant women, will make our voice heard.

Pregnant women should not have to ask for a seat this is reserved for them.

Address:- London Underground, Customer Services Centre, 55 Broadway, LONDON, SW1H 0BD

Fax: 0207 918 4093

Feedback form: www.tfl.gov.uk/tubefeedback

Thank you

Hi Lilly, sorry to hear you met such a rude man on your journey today. Thankfully I think it's likely that he is a one off. I've generally had a pretty good experience traveling on the tube/overground and I travel all round London all the time for work. It's not so easy getting a seat on the bus. I don't use trains so much. Personally I'm not sure a publicity campaign is necessary as I think people are mostly considerate and TFL do provide the badges.
I hope that you have a better experience from now on.
Good luck with the commute!
Bex x

I was mostly lucky in pregnancy, offered seats lots of times. (summer pregnancy, bump very visible)

Then again, I think it does depend on the look of your bump, unfortunately. If you have quite a defined bump and it is summer, then your bump is very visible. If you look a bit more 'is she/isn't she' and are wearing a big coat, then I think people are less likely to clock your bump.

I even had a bonus offer of a seat when I wasn't pregnant recently! :) damn you loose stomach muscles!!!

The only negative incident I have seen was on a bus. An elderly lady got on and there were no seats free at the front, so she had to move down. A seat was found for her, but an older man took it upon himself to begin hectoring a young woman sitting in the priority seats about why she had not got up. He would not stop and eventually she said she was pregnant - sure enough, huge bump, about 7m. But, he still did not stop and kept ranting on at her, I told him to stop it and leave her alone and he changed his tack to 'pregnancy is not an illness and she could still stand up' until he got off the bus. So rather embarrassing all round, though I suspect that his real problem might have been that she was a young black woman...

Anyway, I think that the approach of asking a group is probably best.

Sorry OP, that's horrible. I don't think more posters would affect an arsehole though. I commute by train and tube. No one's offered me a seat on the train (I go in later now to get one), and my policy on the tube is to get on and immediately ask politely if I can sit in the nearest priority seat. No one's ever said no, I'd be pretty shocked if they did, and am surprised that no one else offered when that happened to you. Sometimes it's just a horrible journey and people are shits. Sometimes it's a good day and you strike kind people.

Instead how about writing to tfl to get them to enforce the wheelchair spaces.. They are priority for wheelchairs and I am fed up having to wait for a free space on a bus because the space is full.. I was supposed to be taking a young wheelchair user out today. After 45 minutes of extremly regular buses, we had to abandon the trip because of soft drivers and selfish people using the space... This wasnt a one of incident, but it is a regular occurence.

I wore a baby on board badge and was almost always offered a seat. The only times I was not offered were when the tube was very busy and the people in the seats could not see me. Kind people also stopped to check I was ok and offer me water when I was resting on a bench on the platform. You were unlucky op!

why dont you write in yourself ihear? enforcing wheelchair spaces is hardly going to help the OP is it?!

This is an interesting thread. I'm nearly 9 months, i finished at work yesterday. I have been wearing my baby on board badge the whole time and I've been really impressed with how well it has worked. I usually get a seat anyway on the overland but there has maybe been 15-20 times when I've got on either the busy tube or overland where a seat hasn't been available and every time some lovely person has given me a seat which I have graciously accepted.
Think the baby on board badge works really well, maybe I have just been lucky.

I think you met a total arse OP. I had nothing but good experiences on both under and overground. Although women were definitely the worst offenders for ignoring the - frankly massive - bump, there was always someone who shot out of their seat even if I didn't ask for or need one. Young 'hoodies' were often the first to get up, which I found really heart warming. The badges do seem to work OP, in my circle no one has had a problem...

You can't always tell when someone is pregnant, just like you can't always tell when someone has other health issues or disabilities.

I look fit and healthy but standing on a tube or bus can be agony for me and I don't have the strength in my back to support myself as it jerks or goes round corners.

I would still give up my seat, if someone was worse off than me, or if they asked, as I would presume they were more in need, indeed I do especially if they are having trouble walking. But I don't necessarily think that being pregnant gives you the right to a seat more than anyone else. Some people sail through pregnancy and are as capable of standing as anyone else and until it becomes obvious you are pregnant, no one knows, unless you are wearing the badge.

I think this person you came across is an arse, you were unlucky, buti also think there is no way of policing this. I general "I'm pregnant and feel faint, can anyone give me a seat?" is more likely to get results. Although if I'd heard the person refuse I would have given you mine.

I went on the tube today and, as I was getting on, saw a woman with a bump of about 16 weeks i would guess.

But, she was wearing a lovely swing style coat and, as the coat flowed out, you couldn't be totally sure whether it was bump or just the style of the coat. No badge.

So that was a good example of a situation where someone might reasonably not realise that she was pregnant. Fortunately, it was earlyish on a Saturday so loads of seats around.

I commuted to London and used the tube everyday during my first pregnancy. I don't think I EVER had to stand. Was offered a seat every time.

I think you've made some sensible suggestions, lilly. There are poster campaigns to tell you not to fall under the train if you're pissed and not to fall down the escalators by rushing - they could easily do one about priority seating for all the people who need it and it wouldn't be that much trouble to make an occasional announcement along the same lines. You'll still get the occasional arsehole but if awareness is raised generally then those who are being simply thoughtless might be more helpful.

A separate issue I think is the widespread 'pregnancy is not an illness' notion. Of course it's not an illness in itself but it can come with some seriously debilitating health problems. I don't think this occurs to most people unless they've been personally affected or know someone who has.

I commute every day on the underground. I've been offered a seat twice and I'm nearly seven months now. Stopped wearing the Baby on board badge as I felt quite embarrassed when people ignored it. Londoners often push you out of the way to get to the last free seat in my experience. But what do you do when you're in the priority seat & someone asks you to get up...?! That's happened to me.

sorry - missed some of the other posts there. Someone got on the tube the other day with a small child & no one offered her a seat. (I didn't have a priority seat so it would have been hard for her to get to mine) I didn't get up but I felt bad - I wish I had now. I think, it's only standing so it doesn't matter if I don't get one on the whole. But is that just enabling rude people to carry on being thoughtless? And wouldn't it help everyone who needs a seat if more people made a point of speaking up? People might be more aware. Especially those who sit in the priority seat then go to sleep.

Sorry you met an arse, OP, but it's really not TFL's fault.

noidea that was my experience a couple of times so now I get on and straight away ask the person in the priority seat if they mind if I sit there. I try to do it super friendly and say thank you and smile as if they've offered. To be fair they might have done given a bit longer, but I also hated standing there waiting and hoping someone would look up or offer. No one's ever said no, and I don't feel embarrassed about asking any more. Often people are really lovely about it. The fact is that I can't stand for the journey, I've tried and nearly passed out plus have pain of SPD, so I need to sit. When that's not the case I will get up for people again, it's just a human thing to try to help someone struggling, whatever the cause.

If someone else asked for the priority seat I was in (has never happened) I'd say I was sorry but I needed it and would the person next to me or opposite myself if they would stand.

This post did remind me though that last week a man tried silently to push me out the doors of the bus as I was getting off, slowly, 34 wks pg and on crutches (I don't have these every day). He was trying to get on the one in front. I did feel pretty fed up at that point!

It isn't just one person who said no though is it? I haven't been offered a seat once during my pregnancy (now 37 weeks) but I have been pushed over by an extremely large man who wanted to get on an EMPTY TRAIN and I also fell over on a bus that stopped abruptly and nobody batted an eyelid despite the obvious alien pod formation protruding from my front >:] What can you do though eh?

How very sad that it comes to this? I'm sure the majority of us would give up our seat to anyone who looked like they needed it more than us. I'm sure it wouldn't have been any inconvenience to the guy to stand or sit somewhere else for a bit. Some people's manners are really suprising

How rude of that man! If that happened to me I would have announced it very loudly to the other passengers and ask if anyone else would be willing to give up their seat...making him feel like a right royal twat.
That said though maybe he had an unseen disability ...

I don't have to use public transport, but where I live people are very accommodating.
I was surprised that waiting in a queue for the toilet a lady asked me if I wanted to go first, people hold the doors open for me.
I would only jump ahead of a queue or take someone else's seat if I really felt desperate though.
As for trains and the tube, it's not just because the pregnant woman is tired and needs to sit down, the stop/starts can jolt you and make you lose your balance so it's safer for you to sit.
If you were to lose your balance because some idiot refused their seat for you, TFL would be liable surely?

I have to say that for me I saw the kindness of strangers during my pregnancy. I had really bad pgp from about 20 weeks and needed to sit. Very often someone would offer me a seat and if not I would ask and people would jump up. I was never left standing and always v grateful

This is such an interesting thread, so many experiences!.

I'm wondering when people started wearing their Baby on Board badges? I'm 14wks, so not at all visible (especially under a winter coat) and feel a bit awkward wearing one. I actually had a few comments (mainly from male colleagues and non PG friends) saying it's too early to wear it. Fair play that a woman farther along is carrying a heavier load, but I'd like them to deal with my morning sickness for a day and then see what they'd say! So my question to the masses is, at what point in PG is it "socially acceptable" to wear that badge?! And should I even care?!

But why does morning sickness necessitate a seat? All sorts of people would probably feel better if they could sit down, I think it's a bit entitled to grab a badge the moment you get a bfp tbh. At that stage of pregnancy you may well feel "hungover" on your morning commute but perhaps no more so than your fellow passengers. And of your sickness is so severe you can't stand, you probably shouldn't be at work at all.

I am pg myself and I do take the tube. Same last time. I took the view it was my choice to get pg and my choice to take the tube. Of course it's lovely if someone offers you a seat. But they are not obliged to, they have bought a ticket too and you have no idea of people's circumstances.

At this point I wouldn't expect someone to offer a seat - and certainly I'd offer a heavily pregnant woman my seat if I saw one! My sickness has been accompanied by dizzy spells, which is the only reason I put it on. But, yes, there are definitely people who deserve the seat more than a 14wks pg woman. I suppose the badge is there just in case I need it, feel faint, etc... but is that taking the piss? I wouldn't proactively asked for the priority seat unless I really, really needed it. Just wondering what the general consensus is on this - want to make sure I'm not being a wimp ;-)

Anna - its totally your choice when to wear the badge. I'm 13 weeks and wearing mine now, have met a few people who said they started at 12 weeks too. I get the Waterloo and city and always wait for the next train so I'll get a seat anyway, it means I don't need to ask but to some extent it's stopped people barging me if they see the badge. I'm already experiencing pelvic gurdle pain and genuinely think I'd fall over standing up on the tube as I'm really unsteady which I weird considering I don't have any extra weight yet.

I stand by what I said about a lot of commuters being rude, i guess it's not outright rudeness its just that everyone is wrapped up in their own little worlds reading/listening to music etc.