London Transport - Pregnancy Priority Seat

[lilly40]

Hi,

I'm in the process of writing to London Underground to ask why they can't make it easier for pregnant women using the underground. I was on the underground the other day and was told when asking for a 'pregnancy priority seat'.

"No, I paid for my ticket, and I didn't ask you to get pregnant"

Even when I pointed out they were sitting in a priority seat, reserved for pregnant women, they refused to get up.

This is of course not London Undergrounds fault, but surely, they can enforce publicity/advertising so people are aware.

I'm asking mumsnet members to write to London Underground and support me on this. You can write anonymously if you wish, or with your name and address. The more women that write, and more so pregnant women, will make our voice heard.

Pregnant women should not have to ask for a seat this is reserved for them.

Address:- London Underground, Customer Services Centre, 55 Broadway, LONDON, SW1H 0BD

Fax: 0207 918 4093

Feedback form: www.tfl.gov.uk/tubefeedback

Thank you

[PixieBaby]

Sorry to hear about your unpleasant experience Lilly. I think that realistically there is little that TFL can do; it really comes down to how other travellers behave. Personally I have had only one occasion where someone was rude and unpleasant on the tube in London. Most people are happy to offer a seat. My tip is to wear the badge at eye level: if it is on your collar then it is out of the line of sight for those seated, particularly at rush hour.

Annaitaliana, I wore my badge sporadically from about 10 weeks because I felt tired, unwell and often faint when standing for long periods. The whole point is that the badge tells people that you are pregnant (when not obvious) and would appreciate a seat. If you are visibly pregnant then you hardly need a badge! Ultimately if someone is kind enough to offer their seat then isn't it a good outcome? I would still give up my seat if someone else needed it more ... Eg an elderly person or someone carrying a small child.

[Simian0]

I'm 33 weeks pregnant and travel on the tube every day. I haven't once been offered a seat yet, but then I (a) don't look 33 weeks pregnant particularly and hide it quite well and (b) don't have a b-o-b badge. I think it's really difficult for people to tell these days. I wouldn't have a problem with standing for a pregnant woman (if I weren't myself) if she asked me to, but I probably wouldn't randomly offer out of fear of being wrong and deeply offending/upsetting someone. I don't get upset that no one offers me a seat. If I wanted one, I'd ask for one. I fairness if I got that guy the OP got too I'd make light work of him in front of everyone too. That could just be the hormones talking though. rolls up sleeves ready for a scrap

The OP met a dck on the train and that's the end of it. I bet the following journey someone would be more than happy to stand. It doesn't mean all Londoners are dcks - far from it! I'm quite surprised though that after this altercation someone else didn't stand up instead. I would have done if I'd witnessed that. Mind you though, most people have headphones in/glued to smartphones/papers so they may not have noticed.

I agree with the other 98% of posters who say its not TFL's responsibility. I'd leave it personally. Just chalk it down to a bad experience and hope you don't run into anyone else that sh*tty again. Or if you do lets hope he's broken his leg so you can refuse to stand for him.

[Pocket1]

I'm really sorry to hear of those bad experiences - especially for the ladies with the bigger bumps. It makes me really cross that people are so bad mannered and selfish. I was always happy to offer my seat to anyone wearing a BOB badge and if I saw a bump without a badge.

Now I'm 22.5 weeks and have been wearing a badge since 18 weeks and I do get offered a seat most of the time. One day this week a young girl without a seat asked the carriage to give me a seat. And a someone jumped up. And yesterday a guy apologised for not seeing me and not giving me his seat earlier.

Get a badge and make sure it can be seen. It does make a difference.

[BurbGirl2013]

Just wanted to bring this up again as I commute in on SW Trains and am shocked and quite upset at people ignoring me every day. Helspopje totally agree- the badge makes near no difference on the overline for some reason?!
I wear a B on Board badge mainly as my train is such a crush and I hope people will take note and not barge into me, even if I dont get a seat (I als feel light heated and bit sick if I stand for too long). Im starting to show but this, as well as my badge provokes near no reaction. People notice, and ignore me. I've had 2 handsome strangers who were standing too, see my badge and announce to the carriage that I was preggers & should get a a seat, but apart from them in 5 weeks no one has stood. I've asked 2 women who were about to plonk down past me into the only free seat if they'd mind if I took it, both have looked at their badge and actually rolled their eyes before (verrrry reluctantly) giving me the seat!
All my life I've looked out for and stood instantly for anyone who needed a seat, so its quite sad that now there are so many seflish people around. What is happening to people???!

[HumptyDumptyBumpty]

Puff: "At that stage of pregnancy you may well feel "hungover" on your morning commute but perhaps no more so than your fellow passengers. And of your sickness is so severe you can't stand, you probably shouldn't be at work at all."
You don't have morning sickness then, I gather? It's not 'a hangover' FFS, it's not self-inflicted, and it's EVERY MORNING WITHOUT FAIL. Yes, you do get a seat in preference to someone who doesn't know how to control their drinking on a work night. End of story. You're talking rubbish.

I wear my BOB badge every day as sitting helps me feel less sick and faint. I usually get offered a seat, and it's always a woman who offers, NEVER a man. Most men sleep/ignore/read the paper. Women are more observant. I do think the badges are essential though - I so nearly offered my seat (on the way home, not feeling rough) to a lady yesterday, as I was SURE she was, then she moved and I realised it was just a belly in a funny place!

[timeforgin]

Sadly you can't force someone to have manners.

I am nearly 29 weeks with #2 and commute on the tube from central London to Canary Wharf. I stand most days both ways. I don't wear a BoB badge but am obviously pregnant. I often have people push in front of me to take an empty seat if someone gets up. It happened this morning in fact.

I have also found from observation during two pregnancies that the type of person least likely to give up a seat for a pregnant woman (certainly on my route!) is middle aged women, shortly followed by younger women.

Bit sad but whatever, they obviously need the seat more than I do.

[timeforgin]

Oh and on the posts above re morning sickness, I had SEVERE morning sickness with both pregnancies for the first 20 weeks when I wasn't showing, and found that the hardest part. I didn't wear the BoB badge then either, just felt a bit awkward. Though I don't really complain if I don't get a seat - it just pi sses me off when people are rude and push past. That I find is a bit much.

I always give up my seat for someone less able to stand - including last week to some American pensioners who got on at Sloane Square (FWIW nobody then offered me a seat) and to women more heavily pregnant than me - and it never continues to horrify me how rude people are. Some people just don't notice which is fair enough, but there are a LOT of people who do and then try to look down / into their books.

[Andcake]

I do think you just met one idiot - during my pregnancy people were more than happy to offer me a seat on tubes and buses whether i was wearing a badge or not.
Must admit though I still have a raging anger against cyclists after 2 nearly knocked me over pregnant going through crossings and then a third shouted at me to hurry up (whilst 8 mo pregnant) on a zebra crossing. Even then a passing pedestrian stopped and checked i was ok - the hormones made me teary ;-( but i think hormones make you lose a little perspective.

[reggiebean]

lily40 But TFL does advertise that you should give up your seat. What more do you want?

[mycatlikestwiglets]

Glad to see this thread has been resurrected and would be interested to hear from the OP as to whether she did contact TFL. Fwiw, I think it would be helpful if the train driver would occasionally remind passengers in seats to have a little consideration and look around for people who might need the seat more, because the biggest problem on the tube seems to be people who are too engrossed in their paper/ipad/book or (conveniently for them) resting their eyes and don't look up to see who might have got on the train needing a seat. It isn't just an issue for pregnant women, I often see people on crutches/with young children/elderly people who aren't offered a seat either. Yes they can ask, but some people are scared of confrontation and after the OP's experience you can see why.

I'm 21 weeks with DC2 and despite a very obvious bump and a BOB badge I am rarely offered a seat. Far more common is for the (mainly) men in the carriage to look right at my badge and look away. Women tend to be better at offering seats ime and men in suits the worst. I definitely think people have become less considerate since I had DC1 in 2010.

[PurplePoppySeed]

Burb I'm also a SWT commuter and I'm finding people ruder now that I have an obvious bump than they were back in March when I last posted on this thread - it's really odd!

My colleague got told by someone sitting down once that she could go and sit in first class to get a seat, to which someone else standing responded - "what do you expect her to do, crowd surf there?" - still no one offered her a seat!

I'm not sure where you commute from, but if you are lucky enough to have trains with a first class section, you can fax off a copy of your MATB1, Season Ticket pass and a copy of you current ticket (even if it runs out soon), they then send you a pass for first class - I've just started making use of this and it is helping a lot!

However, apparently a B-O-B badge isn't enough as "anyone could wear one" (lady in the ticket office told me that!). When you need a seat at the beginning the 20 week point & MATB1 form seems a very long way away!

www.southwesttrains.co.uk/mums-to-be.aspx

[Jollyb]

South Eastern trains offer a mums to be pass too - but unfortunately as I don't have a season ticket I can't apply. This is despite spending over £20 per day on my commute.

Anyhow only one more week of commuting hurrah! .

[burberryqueen]

sorry you met a rude tosser but in general people are ok, the one time when i was strap-hanging when pregnant and thought i was going to pass out and managed to gasp a request for a seat, about four people jumped up, bless them.
tbh i dont see that writing a letter is going to make a difference to people being idiots or not.

[arglas76]

Next time take a photo and post it here: www.facebook.com/co.guys



co.guys = Come On . Give Up Your seat

[AfroPuffs]

Being pregnant necessitates a seat full stop. Pregnancy is not an illness but if a train stops suddenly and throws a pregnant lady down the carriage etc? Its a no brainer and people need to have a bit more consideration. I know someone who miscarried the day after falling on the tube and so for me, people should be getting up to provide a safer journey for that unborn child.

[TheFantasticFixit]

Oh dear. You met a cunt, that's all. TFL can't monitor every twat on public transport, nothing would run if they did. For every twat on the tuve there are 10 gracious people, and i say that from the experience of two 'London' pregnancies.

I doubt your letter campaign would achieve anything, even of people did join you. If bus drivers don't have to enforce the right of the disabled to use a wheelchair space, you are going to be waiting a long time before the pregnancy seat becomes enforecable.

Saying all that, you have my sympathies. Public transport whilst heavily pregnant us nothing short of hell. I hope you feel better

[TheFantasticFixit]

Also OP, i feel it important that you remember a pregnant woman's most potent weapon in these situations - farting. I find it clears many seats giving one more choice than you can shake your belly at

[hestialou]

Wear the Baby on board badge prominently, I look for this if woman looks pregnant, as we've all had scary stories of offering a seat when person not pregnant.... But there isn't anything more you can expect tfl to do, the priority seats aren't legally enforceable. Surprised no one else got up for you though

[HairyPotter]

This was bumped to promote a questionable Facebook page?

[Artandco]

I have never had a problem. Over the last 5 years I have been commuting with x2 pregnancies, then with babies in slings, then baby in sling and toddler, and now x2 pre schoolers. On a busy tube and bus I have always been given a seat. Always

Just yesterday someone jumped up on crowded bus so both my little ones could squeeze on one seat with me standing next to them, rather than leave then standing and wobbling all over the place.

[hippymama1]

Last week, a particularly grumpy man shouted "get out of my way you fcking btch" at me as he thought I walked to close to him while changing platforms. Aside from a filthy glare in his direction I just stuck my nose in the air and carried on walking. No doubt he considered this a victory when in reality it was a lucky escape on his part... My pregnancy rage would have probably flayed him alive GoT style had I released it!

Sometimes people are rude and I think tfl could maybe do a poster etc to help awareness of the priority seats but the guy the OP mentions is just an asshole - no poster can cure that. Hope you have /had better commuting experiences after this OP!

[Number3cometome]

Don't bother complaining or asking people, just pretend you are about to faint, put a really sad looking face on and start fanning yourself and huffing and puffing.

That'll scare people in to giving you a seat!

[Letmeeatcakecakecake]

Ah good old London Underground.

I used to have to commute on crutches and no one would offer me a seat, I would always ask a whole isle of people rather than the priority seated person and everyone would ignore me until it would get to the point of unbearable cringeyness and someone would eventually get up!

You met an arsehole OP, no amount of campaigning will help you get a seat more.

In future, wear a badge, and rather than ask one person, say 'can somebody please offer me a seat' out loud to an entire section of commuters. It usually works!

My disabilities are hidden when I don't have crutches, and if a pregnant person asked me for the priority seat, I would actually say no to them (politely) but explain that due to my disabilities I need to keep this seat.

Imagine the fun I used to have commuting with disabilities and pregnancy with DS1

[rachelosborn]

I know this feed is quite old, but I just discovered this www.askformyseatbadge.com and I thought I would mention it. It's quite interesting because it helps anyone who is feeling ill or is pregnant and doesnt want to have to ask for a seat.

[BabyGC]

It is annoying how you will see someone gaze at your badge and suddenly they fall asleep /read etc. I had considered starting a facebook shaming page showing photos of people sitting in priority seating (one of those thoughts that cross your mind but you don't actually do). Luckily there is usually one who would give up a seat when you're wearing a badge.
I often think the issue of taking those seats when you don't need them is all those people with disabilities or chronic pain which are not visible. They can look young and healthy but aren't and often feel embarrassed to vocalise their need.