baby's hearing - getting more and more paranoid - can you tell me if your babies reacted to loud noises in womb?

[emeraldgirl1]

I've posted on this before but as my due date gets closer (er... 1 week...) I am actually starting to properly get myself in a state.

DH is hearing impaired and so when we decided ttc we knew we were taking a 'risk' (if you want to put it that way) that the baby would inherit this condition. Though we have been told it's a small chance, not a 50/50 one at present.

I am OK with this (at least I thought I was) but DH struggled for ages with the idea and in many ways would almost rather have not had a child at all as he knows how much of a struggle his hearing loss has been all his life.

And as I say, now that the due date is approaching I am finding that I am much less 'OK' with it than I thought I was. A friend bought me a rattle at the weekend as a present for the baby and I burst into tears because I am so worried that the baby won't be able to hear the rattle :(

Lots of friends (without realising how much it bothers me) have said casual things about their babies reacting to loud music or whatever in the womb, and asking if I've noticed that. I've said I haven't noticed which is true. Also a woman in my ante-natal class swears her baby reacts to different kinds of music, appearing to 'like' some more than others by wriggling etc. I don't know whether or not this is 'true' or just a perception, but I do know that babies can hear in the womb (albeit muffled) and so I don't think it's impossible that they would react to music etc. But mine doesn't. She reacts to other stimuli (when I eat, mostly) but as far as I can tell doesn't 'react' to music.

Anyway it all got much much worse last night when DH set off the smoke alarms cooking a steak. It was INCREDIBLY loud. There was a little reaction from the baby (a small movement) but not anything major, the way I have been led to believe a baby might react if startled by noise.

Of course then I got incredibly upset and spent the rest of the evening trying not to show DH how worried I was, but honestly I just felt like crying again. Sorry if I sound pathetic but I am getting myself so worked up about this and worrying about how DH will feel if we do find out the baby can't hear :(

Can I please ask (have already asked on this forum actually, but more in relation to music issue) if any of you had a similar experience with a loud alarm going off and the baby reacting to it? I know nobody can tell me whether my baby will be able to hear or not but ALL I seem to get from people is stories about babies reacting to noise and I am just desperately hoping someone might tell me otherwise. I was a bit concerned about the music thing but after this wailing alarm yesterday I am now really worried. Shouldn't there have been a big reaction if the baby was able to hear it? Or do they not neccessarily 'react' by kicking etc? Maybe if they are startled they do something else??

Sorry for the long and mad-sounding post but if anyone can help at all I'd really appreciate the support.

bedhopper I really really appreciate your reply - not an essay, don't worry!!

You're absolutely right that I need to detach myself from how DH feels about his hearing loss. I kind of veer between doing that and then just being desperate for him to feel the same way I do IYSWIM. I know he has his own very personal feelings and is more than entitled to them. I think sometimes I am just so proud of how he has dealt with it that I want him to feel the same. But I do understand that he doesn't want to go around feeling 'proud', he just wants to deal with day to day life and get on with it.

But you are right too that parenthood means change in any circumstances, so I think I need to stop obsessing about (what DH has admitted to me) the idea that he will hate having his hearing loss more openly acknowledge if our child is hearing-impaired too. We'll deal with whatever happens. And I have often thought that at least he would be prepared, far better than me, to handle any problems our child would encounter along the way if born hearing-impaired.

Thank you so much, it's a great reply and I really appreciate it. It is interesting to hear that you have dealt with your hearing loss in a similar way to DH; I think I sometimes mistakenly think he's the only one who feels that way :)

I think a lot of people feel this way actually. It's hard to explain, because you have to experience it to understand how strangely people react once they 'know' about your hearing loss - for me, it's just a fact and I can get on with life, but a number of other people seem unable to let it go, and keep on referring to it, thinking about it, bringing it up all the time and it's quite irritating :)

The only things my baby seems to consistantly react to are the laptop being rested on him and my DD singing a song she made up about Jerusalem with her mouth pressed right up against my tummy.

I set the smoke alarm off almost weekly and he has never reacted to it, as far I know.

Not long to go now OP

Thanks RightUpMyRue... you're right, it's not long to wait. I am always much worse with what I think is called 'anticipatory anxiety'... I think I will manage whatever comes my way, I just get stressed out in advance about it!!

My baby also seems to be oblivious to loud noise - I went to see my favourite band last week and was excited thinking my little one would get to enjoy the show too. It was really (really) loud and baby didn't move at all, for 2 and a half hours. In fact, the only thing that triggers a wriggle is when I'm about to eat something.

I had measles as a baby and have been left with single sided deafness as a result. It does make some social sitautions more tricky, but it hasn't held me back from doing most of the things I want to, including playing music and having a normal working life. From what you've said it seems unlikely your baby will inherit a hearing impairment, but it needn't be the end of the world if they do.

Good luck as your due date approaches, let us know how you get on

First no, not that I remember, although certain types of music normally helped. No hearing troubles in my dc#1

Second, yes.. All loud noises not just music. Very active baby though. Due in 6 weeks :)

I'm sure your baby is just fine hunny :) good luck

Hi Emerald - just wondering how you're doing and if baby has made an appearance? I was really touched by your first post and the anxieties.

I thought of you last night when I was in a Brazilian night club - don't ask - there was very loud music and a very very loud drumming session. My eardrums could barely cope, the ground was shaking and it would not have been possible to scream over the noise. My baby (I'm 25 weeks and she's usually quite active) didn't budge. Not a peep!!

I hope things work out for you and your family. All the best!

June2013 thank you SO much for posting!!! That is so nice of you... Er, no, no baby yet, I am the size of a small-ish house but hanging on in there...

That is so interesting about the nightclub noise - part of me does sometimes wonder whether some babies almost go into their shell when there is a very loud noise because they don't like it. Like yours my baby is VERY active (usually every time I sit or lie down to rest...) and so I can't help wondering (OK, hoping!!) that not reacting to loud noises could maybe be something to do with just not liking them and going very 'quiet' themselves until it's over...

Who knows? Not very scientific of me!!

But thank you so, so much for the post, it's really reassuring to hear those kind of things!

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!

Hi emerald one of my dc is profoundly deaf. no family history and whilst she didnt respond to sudden sounds in the womb, she didnt actually respond to anything, including poking, although I did have an anterior placenta.
Based on alot of the previous posts on this thread, it seems that not responding to loud sudden noises isn't indicative of anything. And perhaps the ones that respond alot to loud noises could just be a result of the adrenaline in mums blood stream from her reaction to the sudden noise?
Whilst a number of parent of HI children that I've met have mentioned that their unborn baby didnt respond to sounds, there's probably an equal number who have said that they did.

Try not to worry, if your dc is HI, it will be picked up alot sooner than for your DH, because of the newborn screening, 95% of HI are picked up and should you (dc) need them, hearing aids and moulds are in fabulous colours, and the support is out there for dc and family.
My dc loves her HA, and has chosen bright pink, and blings them up with gems, she also likes that she can take them out and ignore people.

Mine didn't at all, they got hiccups a lot, which set me off worrying about their internal organs!

One of the first tests they will do while you're still in hospital is the newborn hearing test. Please try not to get too stressed, you don't have long to wait. I'm sure everything will be ok but if there is a problem it will be picked up very quickly.

Good luck with your birth. Keep us posted!

Frustrated, I'm getting new HA soon! Pink ones like your DD, very exciting after a life time of wearing beige ones, ha ha! My DH's cousin's DD (are you with me) - no relation to me but is also HI has bright pink ones with purple butterflies on!

Emerald hope all goes well for you!

I have to say that it seems like I have had a different experience to your DH. People don't seem to notice much with me, although I don't mind answering questions if they do. People are just curious about what they aren't used to - especially children. It's always just been "part of life" for me. Just one of those things. Technology has moved on so much too and hearing aids are so much better than they used to be.

In the unlikely event that your Baby does have hearing problems, how lucky to be born to such a lovely Mum and Dad who already have great empathy understanding and knowledge, and will be able to help them through.

My friend's Baby used to jump about in the womb when it heard a particular Pavarotti song - mine reacted to nothing, not even when I prodded her like mad following a car accident because I was worried she wasn't moving.

We have a spare beige set robin which dd didnt like, so we painted. them with sparkly nail polish and stuck stickers on them. Oh and her moulds glow in the dark. DD likes when they get noticed, because they're different.

The only thing DD ever reacted to in utero was Saturday Night Fever blaring out on the dance floor at a wedding - and that was probably because the floor was shaking rather than to the music.

Weirdly, at 3.7, she still insists on going to sleep to my yoga CD which I listened to when pregnant so maybe she could hear something but just didn't react. Both she and DS (12m) regularly sleep through the smoke alarms even though there are linked alarms in their bedrooms... There are no issues with their hearing, she can hear me open a biscuit packet from a different floor in the house, let alone different room.

I can understand why you're anxious but really, you can't even begin to guess until after the baby's born so best try to relax - stress hormones won't help at all with the birth! Good luck.

Glow in the dark moulds?!? How cool! I bet that's handy if she needs to find them in the dark - or you need to find her. I've just had my moulds redone but they didn't offer me glow in the dark ones :(. I used to have pink ones but now they're just the clear skeleton ones boring.

We have a fire alarm test regularly at work and neither this baby or dc1 ever reacted to it, nor have they to the occasions when I have managed to set the smoke alarm off at home. The only thing i have found get a reaction is caffeine or sugary food

I'm 35 weeks and have found that my baby moves whenever the hell it feels like it, not when I have a bath or expose it to loud sounds like others have found.

Until finishing on maternity leave last week I worked in a Nursery with babies screaming suddenly within close range and we had several fire alarms. Can't say I've noticed my baby react once!

I wish you all the best but try not to worry