baby's hearing - getting more and more paranoid - can you tell me if your babies reacted to loud noises in womb?

[emeraldgirl1]

I've posted on this before but as my due date gets closer (er... 1 week...) I am actually starting to properly get myself in a state.

DH is hearing impaired and so when we decided ttc we knew we were taking a 'risk' (if you want to put it that way) that the baby would inherit this condition. Though we have been told it's a small chance, not a 50/50 one at present.

I am OK with this (at least I thought I was) but DH struggled for ages with the idea and in many ways would almost rather have not had a child at all as he knows how much of a struggle his hearing loss has been all his life.

And as I say, now that the due date is approaching I am finding that I am much less 'OK' with it than I thought I was. A friend bought me a rattle at the weekend as a present for the baby and I burst into tears because I am so worried that the baby won't be able to hear the rattle :(

Lots of friends (without realising how much it bothers me) have said casual things about their babies reacting to loud music or whatever in the womb, and asking if I've noticed that. I've said I haven't noticed which is true. Also a woman in my ante-natal class swears her baby reacts to different kinds of music, appearing to 'like' some more than others by wriggling etc. I don't know whether or not this is 'true' or just a perception, but I do know that babies can hear in the womb (albeit muffled) and so I don't think it's impossible that they would react to music etc. But mine doesn't. She reacts to other stimuli (when I eat, mostly) but as far as I can tell doesn't 'react' to music.

Anyway it all got much much worse last night when DH set off the smoke alarms cooking a steak. It was INCREDIBLY loud. There was a little reaction from the baby (a small movement) but not anything major, the way I have been led to believe a baby might react if startled by noise.

Of course then I got incredibly upset and spent the rest of the evening trying not to show DH how worried I was, but honestly I just felt like crying again. Sorry if I sound pathetic but I am getting myself so worked up about this and worrying about how DH will feel if we do find out the baby can't hear :(

Can I please ask (have already asked on this forum actually, but more in relation to music issue) if any of you had a similar experience with a loud alarm going off and the baby reacting to it? I know nobody can tell me whether my baby will be able to hear or not but ALL I seem to get from people is stories about babies reacting to noise and I am just desperately hoping someone might tell me otherwise. I was a bit concerned about the music thing but after this wailing alarm yesterday I am now really worried. Shouldn't there have been a big reaction if the baby was able to hear it? Or do they not neccessarily 'react' by kicking etc? Maybe if they are startled they do something else??

Sorry for the long and mad-sounding post but if anyone can help at all I'd really appreciate the support.

I am 34 weeks pregnant, my smoke alarm went off at the weekend and not a twitch from my baby, even as I stood right under it flipping a towel around trying to get it to switch off again.

We also have Very Loud building work going on next door, walls being demolished etc, and it doesn't provoke any reaction. The only time my baby seems to "hear" anything is if I tell dh to look at/feel my stomach - at which point it stops doing whatever it was doing. I am fairly convinced that is just a coincidence though!

Have you spoken to your midwife at all about your worries?

My baby would only respond to the sound of knives and forks being dropped into the cutlery drawer when I was emptying the dishwasher. I think they react best to sudden high pitched noises by startling. Also the drawer is at the level of where her ears were (her head was down from 30 weeks). She didn't respond to much else but hearing tests were fine at birth. Might be worth a try?

My joints crack and in the bath if baby was very still, so if they felt asleep and my knee or fingers cracked under the water baby would jump. Or in the cast iron bath if I tapped my wedding ring on the side of the bath. But that's my experience, everyone's different. But the only thing that made my sleeping baby jump was a cracking or tapping noise under the bath water, I was around 8 months pregnant. All the best, it might not work but you can see. I hope all is good.

I'm sorry you're worried about this. I don't think my baby ever reacted to noises while pg, though - the only time she 'jumped' was if I jumped i.e. if the adrenaline kicked around her system too.

36+1 and mine doesn't seem to have a reaction to noise, im like you in that she seems to love food!

thanks so much everyone!! Oh dear, this is such a sensitive subject for me right now that I am even getting upset reading nice responses

CrackleMauve that is very reassuring to hear you say that about the smoke alarm, I too was standing right under it with a tea towel! I think I have just somehow absorbed the information that ALL babies react to ALL loud noises and it is feeding into my paranoia. I have mentioned it to my MW and I think she is trying to be sympathetic but doesn't really understand why I would be so worried or getting upset IYSWIM. Also I do think a lot of this is probably linked to pre-baby anxiety in general and hormones...

plummyjam that is very interesting, I hadn't even considered the fact that the baby is head down now. I do know it is quite 'noisy' inside anyway which is what I was trying to tell myself when music was getting no reaction.

OhMyNoReally - thank you, I am sure you are right that all babies are different... I don't think this would even be on my radar if it weren't for the specific circumstances. Also as I say for some reason EVERYONE I know IRL tells me all the noises their baby reacted to! Not sure why it hasn't occurred to any of them that I might be a bit nervous about this...

DS1 jumped once when a colleague with a loud voice started talking and DS2 never reacted to anything at all. They both seem to hear normally now!

I don't think you can make any predictions about hearing when they're inside. I'm sorry you are worried about this :(

I must admit I'm slightly concerned about my DC in the future though - both of their grandmothers have got Menieres/tinnitus (late onset).

If you are nervous about it then tell them! It's possible everyone is just being a bit self-centred dim and that they haven't twigged why you might be worried.

If they keep doing it after that then they're officially a bit

I have no real advice but you founded so anxious I just just wanted to post an unMNy hug!
Obviously, in your circumstances there are higher risk factors but from what you've said, they don't sound significantly higher.

As for baby reacting; do you happen to know if you have an anterior placenta? Do you know what position your placenta is in? This can have a dramatic effect on how much outside noise baby hears. I have 4 children and two reacted to almost everything, one to loud bangs and the other to virtually nothing outside. The one who reacted to virtually nothing was the pg with the large anterior placenta basically acting like cavity wall insulation! The two who reacted constantly, one had an enormous amount of water so maybe felt lots of vibration and the other is to this day (7yrs) very jittery and highly strung. The other, who just reacted to a few bits and bobs is just a happy chilled out child. None have any problem with their hearing.

So although it's easy to say, I'd advice you to try and relax a little. Is there any way you can phone someone who can give you a clear indication of the risks in your particular case? That may help you relax a little if you knew a figure to keepin your head. Apart from everything else, it is very normal to worry about the development of your baby and for some women this peaks in the 2 or 3 wks before the birth.
Good luck with it all and sorry I can't be of more help!

Herrena thank you. I really do need to calm down about this!! I am hyper-anxious in general so I know that getting on a slippery slope of anxiety is just bad all round, but I can't seem to stop it. Have done my best all day to use tricks my old counsellor taught me and trying not to obsess but if i'm not careful I can see myself sneaking around late at night blaring alarm clocks and loud iPod music at my poor old bump just to try to get a reaction!!! It's so silly really as obviously there is NOTHING I can do about any of this now. And I guess I'll know, one way or another, in a very short time now.

Herrena, I've told a couple of close friends but they still keep on doing it!!! might be time to take them off the close friends list

GotAnyGrapes thank you so much for the hug, I can't tell you how much I appreciate people being nice/understanding about my nuttiness.

I definitely don't have an anterior placenta... Could of course be that the baby is just chilled out, DH is a totally relaxed person so maybe (hopefully!!!) that's the personality that's being inherited and not my loopy, anxious one!!

We got really expert advice before ttc and were told it was a low risk (5% to 10%) with the info we could give them. I know for sure that I am getting super-anxious about EVERYTHING to do with the baby's development right now. I daren't unpack a single babygro to wash it 'just in case' something goes wrong and I never get to use it. I only agreed to put the cot up because DH was so keen but I am not putting the mattress down etc etc. So yes, I am hyper-anxious about every aspect of it right now. I'm annoyed with myself because I was fairly chilled-out (by my standards) all along, up until a couple of weeks ago.

My three DC have no hearing problems. None of them reacted to noise in the womb.

As it happens, I have a severe hearing loss (a recessive condition so we knew the DCs wouldn't have it, as DH doesn't). Life with a hearing loss doesn't need to be traumatic.

It is natural to worry about your baby. But I think the severity and specificity of your worries actually point in a different direction - to your feelings about your DH's hearing loss (and his feelings about it too). Is it possible that the imminent change to your relationship, as you become parents, is bringing up suppressed concerns you both have about his hearing loss?

Does he wear hearing aids?

I have been clubbing (at a work party), gone to a Michael McIntyre gig with a thousand people roaring and clapping and set off the smoke alarm plenty of times during this pregnancy and I can honestly say I don't think the baby has reacted to any of it! I'm now 38+4.

Both of my brothers best friends parents are profoundly deaf and he and his brother have perfect hearing so please try not to worry.

I know myself what it is to worry about these things as I was born half blind and really panicked with my DS but he is fine and even if he wasn't we would adjust and wouldn't love him any less and I'm sure you will feel the same as will your DP :)

bedhopper you have hit the nail on the head in many ways!!
Yes I know that a lot of my worries are more about DH because he has a very particular set of feelings about his hearing loss (from birth and yes, he wears HAs). He has always been one of those people who pretty much ignores his disability in the sense that he doesn't let it stop him from ANYTHING and he is confident and outgoing despite difficulty in social situations BUT the flipside of this is that he absolutely HATES it when anyone 'notices' his HAs or the fact that he lip-reads. I have told him (nicely of course!) that he is crazy!! Of course people notice, how could they possibly not notice? But I have told him that just because they notice it doesn't mean they are thinking bad things about it!! But he persists in the idea that they mustn't even notice, and the only thing that really upsets him (he is very chilled out in general) is if anyone every makes a comment about his hearing, even if it is in the nicest possible way.

I just dread the thought of how he will react if the baby can't hear. He will feel guilty and devastated because he just wants everything (in his own life too) to be 'normal'.

The expert we saw had difficulty pinning down the cause of the condition but I am pretty sure they thought it was recessive. Trouble is that I too have a small degree of hearing loss (nothing like as bad as DH's) and that might throw the cat among the pigeons. It's a bit of a strange brew, really!!

peanutMD thank you for your post too, I know of course that I won't love my baby ANY less, no matter what, I just keep getting very upset about how helpless newborns are and how much worse it is if they have a sense impaired.

DS never reacted to sounds (that I noticed anyway). His hearing is fine. Try not to worry :)

If it helps, I'm partially deaf and neither of my DDs are.

DD1 failed her first hearing test in hospital, which is very common so don't be alarmed if this happens to you (they sometimes have water in their ears etc.) She passed the second newborn one but because of my hearing she had yearly check ups until I cancelled the third because she clearly has no hearing problems.

DD2 has had 2 hearing tests. Newborn one, which she passed and the one she had at 1 year, she also passed. She's due another as she has just turned two but I can almost safely say that she has no problems either!

What is the cause of your DH's hearing impairment? Does he know? If there are no other hearing impaired people in his family then it's probably not genetic.

I don't remember any of my children reacting to sounds in the womb but I imagine that any sounds are really muffled in there. In Fact, when DD1 was 2 days old a burglar alarm went off in our street, because of a power cut in the middle of the night. Both DH and I woke up (I had my hearing aids in so I could hear her cry if she did) and DD slept through it!

I remember answering you before - but I don't see any reason not to say again, lol

My DS did react to loud music or sudden loud noises, but he has AS and still (at 16) hates loud music and noisy environments - which for him is anything with more than 2 people talking. As a tiny baby he did the startle reflex at DP snoring even, he startled about 20 times a day at normal everday noises. He does however have normal hearing when they've tested it.

DD on the other hand reacted to nothing when I was pregnant, slept through things as a newborn that you'd expect a baby to wake up to, never startled at sudden noises - she too has perfectly normal hearing. She was a massively chilled baby though, it was nice, lol.

Just a thought but maye your baby just isn't a 'jumpy' person. I've never jumped or really reacted to loud noises unless watching a scary film/something that builds the tension. In fact I get really irritated by people who do (especially ones that scream) because I just don't get it! I'm 38+4 today and the only stimuli that seem to make baby move are heat/food and drink/vibrations very occasionally but she really just seems to move of her own accord rather than in response to anything. I reckon she's just a bit like me an not really affected by things in that way.

Dd never reacted to noise in the womb. Her hearing seems fine now, given how easily she wakes at the slightest noise!

DS reacted to nothing in the womb- noises, music, food, drink. I thought he was going to be a chilled out baby. He was fine, hearing fine. Turned out he was saving all his energy up for when he got out.

I've also stood under a shrieking smoke alarm frantically waving a tea towel at it with no reaction whatsoever from the baby. This one is a real wriggler as well, and I have a posterior placenta so I feel everything.

He doesn't seem to react specifically to music and neither did his older brother; whose hearing is absolutely fine. I played the cello throughout my previous pregnancy and have been to numerous (loud) concerts during this one.

Both mine are likely to inherit my appalling eyesight, btw, but it is something I had to accept before TTC.

DD didn't react to any noises as far as I can remember, not even a new years eve party at a nightclub at 34 weeks. Her hearing is fine.

again, thank you so much everyone!!

This has really reassured me, thank you. Obviously it won't 'prove' that the baby will be able to hear but as ever with my anxiety problems I always feel that I can cope when I actually know the situation, what I can't cope with is the anxiety beforehand. And these replies have really, really helped so thank you so much.

I had just been torturing myself with the idea that every single baby reacts to noise in the womb and that there HAD to be something wrong if they didn't. It is so reassuring to hear that this is definitely not the case.

I'm 34+5 and also confirm that I have never I don't think felt my baby react to anything - loud noises, cat purring loudly on my tummy, my voice, music, nothing.

Am hoping that is reassuring, but it sounds from this thread it is pretty common!!

Emerald, as someone with a hearing loss (and HAs) myself, I think it's very important that you accept your DH's feelings about his own hearing loss as valid. His feelings have been built up over a lifetime of accumulated observations of how people treat him (both when they do and don't know about his hearing loss. He's entitled to prefer people not to know, and to feel uncomfortable when they do know - that's up to him. I think it will mean a lot to him if he can see that you respect his choice, and support him in it.

People have all sorts of reactions to (and prejudices about) hearing loss, and I imagine that a lot of the time your DH prefers not to have to deal with them. It's quite boring too, as whatever reaction people have, he's probably come across it before, and finds it just gets in the way of his relationship with them (whether casual or closer).

I am like your DH in this way myself (less so now as I am older, and have another disability which has become pretty evident, so I can no longer avoid other people's reactions).

I can understand that you are worried that if your DC has a hearing loss, then it will be hard, as your DH will have to be more open about dealing with hearing loss. Parenthood is all about change and - in the probably unlikely event that your DC is partly deaf - then your DH will adapt to deal with it. It might even affect him in a positive way, as he will want your DC to have a positive attitude. In fact, whether or not your DC is deaf, your Dh will have to at some point decide how he wants to deal with your DC knowing about his own hearing loss, and that will force him through some sort of change.

But it's still pretty unlikely. I wouldn't worry too much about your own hearing loss. There are many, many different genes that can cause hearing loss, and yours is likely be quite different to your DH's (or caused by something non-genetic like environmental noise or illness.)

I thought quite a bit about how I would react if my DC were to inherit my condition, even though I knew they wouldn't. As it turns out, two of them have something entirely different (food related), and DH and I have had to adapt our lives considerably to deal with that. It's a funny old world.

Sorry for the essay. Your baby will be a helpless newborn, yes - but s/he will also be a bundle of unbelieveable, amazing potential. You and your DH just have to help him/her develop it, and do what you can to teach him/her to deal with the problems s/he encounters. The fact that your DH has dealt with a significant problem himself so capably will help him teach your DC how to cope with whatever difficulties they encounter. That's my take on it.