Fed up with labour horror stories

[scaredbutexcited]

It is starting to feel like the whenever someone sees you are pregnant, after the initial congratulations they go on to tell you how awful/painful/terrifying their labour experience was.

Why do women do this to each other?!

It doesn't even seem to be just close friends and family. I bought a pregnancy magazine in the gargage last night and the lady behind the counter had to tell me how she had nearly bled to death following her last labour!

It almost seems competitive. When you are in a group and one person starts with the stories, everyone else seems to say theirs was more painful/gruesome etc.

How can this kind of thing be (politely) stopped?

I was really lucky that I didn't get many horror stories before my birth (didnt know that many folk that had sprogged :-)

Having given birth now (21 wks with No2) I am very interested in other womens birth stories, and I do like to share mine. I would say though that generally I only share with other women who have given birth, I'm very careful around first time mums as I'd hate to put someone off (cos lets face it, once your'e pregnant that baby has to come out - there's no escaping that!)

Labour and giving birth is a huge life experience, didn't last that long for me (2.5 hours) but its momentous and you can't not talk about it and the things that in hindsight you didn't like or things that people did.

Generally though, for me, and probably every other mum on this Board, the most amazing moment for me was when my son came out and I saw him for the first time and quite honestly I thought he was the most beautiful, amazing thing I'd ever seen - and that memory alone wipes away all the other stuff and the reason I'm pregnant again is for that memory - that amazing 'oh my god, that's my baby!' feeling - even now (3 years on) it still blows me away.

Good luck with all your pregnancies and ignore all the scare mongers out there, just think that they're probably trying to find any excuse to relive the most emotional moment of their lives.

Regardless of the journey there (birth pool, active labour, induced, c-section) birth is amazing :-)

Because there is absolutely no point whatsoever in sticking your fingers in your ears and going la la la about the birthing process.

If you don't want to hear particular stories from friends/relatives then of course do feel free to stop them mid-flow.

But, really, come on, everyone needs to be realistic.

Mintyy I don't think that's what we're talking about.

I have very good knowledge of all the potential problems, and my birthing plan is very much of a go with with flow mentality. I would like a natural birth with minimal intervention, but will happily have an epidural, instrument delivery or caesarian if that is what life throws at me. I am also well aware of post delivery problems, prolapse, tearing, haemorrhaging.... the works.

What I don't want is a long graphic embellished horror story from someone who will not shut up, even when I ask them nicely. I know people like talking about their experiences, but there is talking and there is talking..... It's not helpful, or constructive, and is largely self indulgent.

On my due date a friend of mine was texting asking if there was any news - then sending me detailed updates about another friend of hers ( who I don't even know) who was having a very long arduous labour - which resulted in an emergency c-section. Found it very stressful - ignored the messages as best I could - but why o why did she think I needed to know that?

Mine went fabulously in the end - smug and relieved!

worsestershiresauce that is exactly the right attitude for a first time birth - it will mean that whatever happens, you will be able to feel positive about it.

Eletheomel I do very much agree with you - now that I am pregnant with DC2, I love hearing everyone's stories. In fact I'm obsessed with it...