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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

3 under 3, am i mad or can it be done without going totally doolally?

29 replies

Olihan · 18/04/2006 17:45

I've just found out I'm pg with #3 - a lot earlier than planned!! DD will be 16 months and DS will be 3 around the time the new baby is born. Now that the reality has sunk in i'm a bit worried how i'll cope in the early days.

Has anyone else got 3 this close together or does anyone have any tips for making it as stress free as possible? I'm not sleeping at the moment with the panicking!!

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Bobalina · 18/04/2006 18:10

I think it'll be wonderful Olihan. Congratulations. Can't give any really useful advice as I "only" have 2 children (though they were only 11months apart!). I think the worst part is the anticipation of "how will I cope?". The answer is, of course you will cope - you have to. I'm full of envy as I'd love another, now. But dp says no so I have to respect that. Good luck!

PandaG · 18/04/2006 18:11

I haven't got 3 under 3, but a dear friend of mine had - oldest is now 7. She has coped really well, and the upside is they all get on really well. No advice, just wanted to cheer you up

jampots · 18/04/2006 18:20

my older sister was 2.5 when we (my sister and I) were born - so mum had 3 under 3 and would argue that it does send you mad

geogteach · 18/04/2006 18:55

Sounds exactly the same as me. DS1 was 3.5, DD 16 months when DS2 born. DS2 is 18 months now, they all get along famously, i'll admit the logistics at the beginning were somewhat hairy esecially as DD wasn't walking when DS2 was born. Now though I find it harder work when i've got just one of them as they really do entertain each other. Good luck and let me know if there are any questions you think I can answer!

pebblemum · 18/04/2006 19:12

I've just found out my cousin is expecting her 3rd and when this one is born all of them will be under 3. Personally I think she is mad but then again I also have respect for her for putting herself through it. She is younger than me and i am ashamed to say I dont think i could cope.

I guess having three young children is not that much different to having triplets. If you had triplets you would have to cope, you couldnt exactly give one or two back and the same goes with having 3 under 3yrs. You just have to get on with it. No matter how hard the first few weeks in time you will get into a routine and wonder what all the worry was about.

Good luck and congratulations.

GDG · 18/04/2006 19:14

When ds3 was born, ds1 was 3.4 and ds2 was 20 months. Tbh, it wasn't that bad. Ds3 is 19 months now, ds2 is 3 and ds1 is just 5. It's hard work, no denying it, but it's perfectly possible and lovely too. I'm so glad mine are close together now - they all get off to school quicker!

mykidsmum · 18/04/2006 19:19

I had three under 15 months, it was hard work, but had its benefits, they all slept in the sfternoons so I always got a break. My kids are really close now as they have grown up, number 4 was born when the eldest were three, although it can be hard I loved it and still do x

spidermama · 18/04/2006 19:22

I'll be honest. It's extremely hard going in the early days and number one could really miss out if you're not careful. BUT, you'll get through it and they'll be close in age which means family trips are easy to plan, you can read them all the same stories, play games they all enjoy and they will probably play well together.

On balance then, it's well worth it but I have to confess it's extrememly tough and you need to take all the help you can get.

spidermama · 18/04/2006 19:23

Congratulations by the way.

jmg1 · 18/04/2006 19:31

I am a single Dad and there is 32 months between my three. It was tough when they were 1, 2 and 3 but its nice now cause they get on well most of the time and they are on a similar wavelenth.

Good luck.

lilianna · 18/04/2006 19:57

hi ds2 was born last july at the time dd was 1 and ds1 was 2.
now ds1 is 3 dd is 2 ds2 is 8months and i have 12weeks till baby number 4 is due.
its really nice having them so close together but sometimes it can be hard until you see that little smile and then all the hard work is well worth it.
good luck

threelittlebabies · 18/04/2006 20:37

My SIL is pg and when her ds4 is born the others will be 6yo and 21mo twins. Fair play to her, she seems to be coping really well so far. Congratulations btw. This thread has actually made me broody! (Have 3.5yo ds and 7.5mo dd )

Nemo1977 · 18/04/2006 20:45

Am I weird for being a bit jealous..lol I have a 2.5yr old and a 4 mth old and would love another asap.Dh not so keen.

NappiesGalore · 18/04/2006 20:46

hah! was just about to start a thread along the lines of 'help, i have 3 under 3 and none of hem will go to sleep tonight and im feeling (unreasonably) resentful towards them coz i just want some rest and 'me' time. dp is away on business for a week too, btw, hence me coming on here coz ive got no-one to talk to!
sorry! like spidermama said, its all worh it but REALLYT hard at times in the early days.
still, wheres the fun in doing things the easy way, huh??

nooka · 18/04/2006 21:31

I have a 16mth gap between my two and my dh and I decided he'd have the snip shortly after dd ws born! It was incredibly hard when they were little, but it's fantastic now, and I'd imagine it would be the same with three. I would recommend that you line up as much help as you possibly can for the first year, and encourage your little ones to be independent early.

NappiesGalore · 18/04/2006 21:37

just want to add a slightly more positive: theyre all asleep now and im happy to say that its bloody marvellous at times too, more fun than a barrelful of monkeys and i wouldnt change it for the world. well, maybe for a weekend, but not forever

Clary · 18/04/2006 21:57

I had 3 under 4 which made people gasp - not sure why in particular (like, if the oldest were 4, oh then no worries?).
Olihan, congratulations. I would disagree with pebblemum, triplets must be much harder, all feeding and changing at once.
Geogteach has got a good point, if no 2 isn't walking it would be a pain carrying two from the car on a regular basis.
In general I found my 3 to be fine. The third baby fitted in so well. However I was lucky enough to be able to keep some childcare for the older 2 going while I was off work which saved my sanity and gave me some precious time alone with ds2.
Now they are 6, 4, 3 they play together so well and amuse each other, it's fab.
I agree it's hard to give them individual attention, but not impossible, and that would be true whatever the gap!
Practical considerations - you will need 2 cots (but may have anyway) and a double buggy (but ditto). Hopefully ds will be out of nappies but I had 2 in nappies (3 if you count ds1 at night) and it as Ok. Used cloth too, everything is possible and you will cope with it I am sure.

lockets · 18/04/2006 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

threelittlebabies · 18/04/2006 22:16

Nemo- not weird, me too!

Anchovy · 18/04/2006 22:20

OK - here is some perspective for you:

A former flatmate of mine had an 18 month DS and then TRIPLETS! That's FOUR under two!!

And the people over the road from me have 5 under 7 (I think) with another on the way. Three under three - pah! (Actually I've only got 2 and it feel horrendous some days so good luck!)

Emluels · 18/04/2006 22:27

I was really worried when I found out I was preggies with no3 - dd1 was 3yrs 4mths and ds was 7mths. No3 came 5wks early as well, shortening the gap between her and her brother. The baby is now 3mths and life seems slightly easier now that she doesn't seem so vunerable, but its the second-guessing of what my 18mth old is going to do that is the hardwork! Its that age which seems the most difficult because they're getting more physically capable but don't realise/understand their actions could be dangerous.

If you can get help in the early days then do so, cos after a few weeks the offers of help do subside, so make the most of it.

And, when you're on your own coping with 3 (and you will cope), just remember you've only 1 pair of hands, so if there's crying going on, let there be crying!

Getting to 3mths is like turning a corner, so just grit your teeth and remember that they're not babies for long - before we know it we'll be coping with 3 teenagers!!!

Best of luck to you, I'm sure you'll sail through it fine. :)

amariage · 18/04/2006 23:00

Hi everyone i had 3 in 3 years.When dd2 was born ds was 3 and dd1 was 14 months.To top it all off me and their dad split when i was 5 months pregnant cos he was having an affair with a 15 year old.You think he would have known better at 25 wouldn't you.Anyway ds is now 6 dd1 is now nearly 4 and dd2 is 2 and half.Was very hard at the beginning but the best advice i can give you is to try and have a good routine in place, it really helps and just try not to leave your middle child out. Its easy to forget they are still a baby too, and as for loads of nappies take out shares in pampers you'll be rich ha ha:) Most of all enjoy them its lovely to see them growing up together.Best of luck and if you ever want some tips on how to change a nappy while giving a bottle and also reading a bedtime story at the same just leave me a message:o

knakered · 20/04/2006 10:39

I had 3 under 3 ...last 2 barely a respectable 12 months apart as the last one was 12 days late. I was really hard work - which I wasnt expecting or prepared for as the first 2 had been a breeze....it gets better soon... there are key points when things get lots better. Keep it as simple as possible...dont try too hard to do too much...when they all start screaming together - just desensitize yourself to it and smile. Make time for your partner and yourself away from the kids -- get out for a walk, drink etc on a Wed eve to keep sane

Kelly1978 · 20/04/2006 10:57

I had four under 5, and it has been very hard work. It alternates between a strict routine and chaos breaking lose. Al the kids are very close though, and I wouldn't change it. I ahve a two year gap between dd and ds1 then a 2.5 year gap between ds and the dts.
I personally think it must be harder havign a very young toddler and a baby than two at the same time, because contrary to what clary says I think it is easier when they want the same thing at the same time. You'll get there though, I've jsut got through the first year by keep tellign myself it has to get easier. I'm still saying htat though!

AngelaD · 22/04/2006 20:03

I had three under 4, it is hard work but they are all really lovely friends and play nicely together.

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