I am so so angry!!! Please talk/listen to me! :(

[lovemybabyboy]

I am 13wks today with DC3, I have an appointment on tuesday for my booking in appointment, I have had to cancel due to work, I am a nurse working part time, tried to swap my shift but can't.
So I phoned the community midwives number (spoke to some sort of receptionist) and she basically shouted at me saying I HAVE TO go to my appointment that I can't change it and they will probably not have another booking in appointment for a few weeks! She was just ranting on saying by law they have to give me the time off, I told her I am a nurse, we hardly get time for a break they are not going to give me time off for an appointment!! And I have not told work that I am pregnant, I do not have to and I do not want to untill I have had a scan (which also has not even been arranged for me! so by the time I get one it will probably be another few weeks!!)

She told me to call back on monday as she doesn't have the appointment book for my clinic and it should be back by monday! ( I am working all day monday so will have to go outside on my break to call them).
She basically said that I should try and sort it to have the time off on tuesday...not going to happen!!!
I am so angry and so upset!!!
Am I being unreasonable??

What would you do regarding appointment and not getting scan appointment?
(my second pregnancy ended in mmc so would really like a scan asap!)

Sorry for the long post and thank you if you have read it!

Did you only just try to cancel today? Very short notice!

I think that it is too short notice for work to take the appointment on Tuesday. How long have you known about the appointment?
I am not sure what else they can do.
If you are very worried about scan can you get it done privately?

I hate to say it to a pregnant woman, but yes YABU. Legally you do have to get that time off.

Work cannot stop you taking time off for ante-natal appointments - Shesparkles is right.

It's your prerogative when you tell your employer, but how can you expect to be legally entitled to time off for antenatal appointments until they know?

It's a tough situation and I understand that with your history you may not want to tell people, but their hands are tied. Also, where I live you can't have a scan arranged until you've had the booking appt.

I agree with shesparkles. I wouldnt want to say whether you are bu as it's about your pregnancy and you seem stressed enough without people judging your reasonableness.

Yes I know that than you!!
I only got my shifts for work yesterday and was working 7.30am till 9.30pm and did not have the number on me!
We usually get our shifts in a bit more advance but they messed them up and had to re-do them! as I said I tried to swap, but there was nobody to swap with me!
I told the receptionist that I don't mind going to any other clinic in any area so I am trying my best!

*thank you

I think you do need to tell someone at work and get the time off. Could you tell just your immediate line manager and ask for it to be kept quiet? I think the health of you and your baby are the most important thing here, work can manage without you! Why has it taken so long for you to have a booking in appointment? Surely that should have been done several weeks ago and you should have had a 12 week scan by now? I hope you get it all sorted OK.

I feel for you, and I really worry about this attitude to pregnant women that they can and should drop everything at any time for any appointment (and if they don't that they don't care enough about their pregnancy).
I am self-employed and possibly pregnant. If I have paid work at a client 3days a week then I NEED to have any antenatal appointment on one of the other two days when I am doing desk work.

While I will do everything in my power to move things around, I cannot turn down paid work as I have to save like crazy for the time when I won't be earning and will only get MA. I am worried that this isn't going to go down well with my local NHS services

Calm down OP, stressing out and getting annoyed at people on here giving you advice will do you no good at all and just stop people from posting to help you.

Do tell someone at work, just your line manager, and tell them to keep it to themselves. You know you're legally entitled to the time off for the appointment, so there's no issue there. I understand that it's difficult, but you have to be selfish and take the time off. Midwives are very busy so they can't pander to every single need of every single woman in their care.

Try to take a step back for a second.....it sounds like you're trying to please everyone, but the one who's important in this, you, is getting missed out.
You were given your rotas at work late because the person who does them made a mistake. I totally understand you being conscientious, but why are you the one having to jump through hoops to work round someone else's mistake! I think that out of fairness to yourself and your colleagues you need to very quietly advise the person who makes up the rotas of your pregnancy, so this kind of thing doesn't happen again, and your shifts can be worked round your appointments.

They told me they were very busy over xmas and new year, that's why I have not had any appointments, had a 5 min appointment at 8wks, midwife said then I would "probably" have my scan the week after my booking in appointment so assuming it will be arranged once I have had my booking in appointment.
I am sorry, I am just really stressed and it doesn't help that I came back from a year of mat leave in october so already very worried about telling my boss. I just know they would have some excuse why I couldn't have the time off and they will need me, they have the needed amount of nurses on each shift and we are very busy.

I get EXSACTLY what you are saying OP. I feel the same.

If you are in the clinical numbers at work, you simply cannot leave for an appointment as it will leave your dept unsafe. Simple as.

I have had the very same issue except my MW clinic is run for 2 hours on a Tuesday afternoon..when i am at work.
I cant just leave work without ensuring there is someone to fill in for me.

I wonder if the receptionist is the same one at my MW clinic??!! When i eventually get throught o the right receptionist to make appointments, after being passed from GP reception to MW reception and back..each adamant that neither of them makes appointments!

Also, if i cant make the appointment (which invariably is the next day) then there isnt another for 2-3 weeks! Which they tut at because i am over the due date for that appointment.
I needed amnio, bloods, whooping cough vaccine, BP checks and struggle to get anywhere for any of these things. All should be timed correctly, but lack of appointments and innability to get time off work pretty much made it impossible!

So what is the solution? I spoke to my (lovely) MW and arranged things with her rather than via the receptionist so she either popped into my house when passing or i went to the womens unit across from my work whcih meant 20 mins for BP check etc, and back to work, rather than a drive across town, not finding a parking spot, sressing about being late then having a 5 minute HIgh BP check then having to drive back to work..find a parking spot etc ect...

Can you not do that?

I've had to tell my boss I'm pg at only 6 weeks along because I have T1 diabetes + hypothyroid and need to have hospital appointments every few weeks. I work in a very demanding job too and if I hadn't spoken to my boss I would have spent an awful lot of time fretting about the time off and possibly could have been refused it. Now my manager knows I can relax on that front. Yes it's early, but sometimes there are very good reasons for telling bosses. And I think peace of mind is a pretty good reason.

nananaps I would quite happily do that if I could talk to the actual midwife but I don't have her direct number just this number that deals with all the community midwives not just for my area. I work in the hospital so I would be quite happy to be seen there but that receptionist just did not seem to want to listen to me or let me talk just kept shouting about its the law etc.
Yes I know that but as you said its not as easy just to leave for appointments, I work in critical care so have very sick patients, one nurse to two patients, I can't just leave them plus I dont drive (could get a taxi) but still I am looking at at least one and a half to two hours out of work to have my booking in (thats if it takes an hour for the appointment) I just cannot leave my patients, we sometimes don't even get to have a break because we are that busy!
I know everyone thinks I am being unreasonable but really unless you are in exactly the same situation then you can't really judge.

It annoys the hell out of me too that it's assumed once pregnant, you have nothing else to do but focus on the baby above all else. Apparently my hospital doesn't believe in sending out scan date letters more than 2 weeks in advance so you don't lose them, (silly, airheaded pregnant ladies we are!) and that a working woman might need more than a week's notice to get the time off or with such short notice might have to call back and say "doesn't work for me" (causing much huffing when you do) doesn't seem to occur to them.

The legal entitlement to have paid time off for antenatal appointments was hard won. Nobody wants a return to the days when women were sacked once they announced they were pregnant. Pandering to bosses who might not be as up-to-date or versed in employment matters only serves to weaken these rights. If they haven't go enough staff to cover then they will have to get locum cover or bank staff but it's an issue for your line managers to sort out

A maternity department cannot hope to re-schedule every women's appointment due to work committments when this time-off is already rightly ringfenced by law.

I'm 21 weeks pregnant with a high-risk pregnancy, working p/t in the NHS, so I do understand where you're coming from.

I only work Mon-Wed & all my antenatal appointments with the midwife & consultant are on Tuesdays & Wednesday's, so I will barely be in work. There is no cover for me either.

But do you know what: TOUGH! I am not compromising my health, or this baby's for work. As anyone who works in the NHS knows, you get no thanks for it!

I did tell my line manager at 15 weeks, as I required an time off for an amnio & wouldn't have got it as we were so short-staffed.

I have tried to arrange appointments as much as possible around work, but sometimes it just isn't possible.

I do feel bad about it, but it can't be helped. Sometimes, our own expectations of ourselves are our worst enemies!

I too am a critical care nurse. That is why i said...if you are in the clinical numbers you just cannot leave for appointments, it WILL leave it unsafe. (What a coincidence is that!!!!)
That is also why i get completely what you are saying..and i agree 100%!

It must have taken me 3 weeks to get to actually speak to my mw, in the end i requested with the (bitch) receptionist that the mw rings me on my phone, i also rang the maternity day unit and asked for appointment, and booked my 1st scan through them too. They were very helpful.

What have other people work with you done in the past? What did you yourself do in your last pregnancy?

No we cannot appreciate how it is if we aren't in that situation but being a bit bolshy with people trying to help is not helping you, if people here's advice isn't any good you'd be better off asking on a nurses forum or something.

Wishing you well and hope you sort something.

Baking- but employers (if you work part time or shift work) have a right to question if it was possible for you to have the appointment outside of working hours, or to move it to a more convienent for the business date where possible. It is would have been possible for you to attend an appointment outside of working hours (so if you don't work on a Tuesday but have a Monday appointment, you'd be expected to try to move the appointment to a Tuesday), they have a right to refuse the time off. The OP is actually within the law to try to get an appointment on a non-working day if she doesn't work 5 days a week office hours. If she can't, then telling work you need the time off and can't move to a non-work day would mean they were in the wrong to refuse it, but they can ask her to try if she hasn't already at the point she asks. Oh,and they can ask for evidence of the appointment for all but the first booking in appointment.

(As someone who's pregnant and working part time, I checked)

I Hate the attitude that 'you are entitled to the time off so take it'. It doesn't account for the fact you may not have told your employer yet (for whatever reason), the the type of job you have may not mean it is easy to take the time off or that you may not want to take the time off.

Having said that, not sure what the answer is. There will be times that you will need to attend antenatal appointments whilst you are supposed to be at work, so sorting it out now (cover for these appointments) may be wise. Doesn't help with your immediate predicament though.

Good luck with your pregnancy and arranging appointments!

Swap with me. My area is so busy/disorganised/not bothered that they ignore you completely. There is no problem with appointments at inconvenient times - they simply don't book any appointments at all. Even for time critical things. Would you prefer that approach?

I joined MN to find out what I supposed to get, so I could ring and hassle and ring again until I got it. I'd drop everything for an appointment, no matter how busy I was. As it is I've largely had to pay for private care, which sucks, and I don't have the budget for.

Fks me off when people whine about NHS appointments being inconvenient. You are lucky to have them - the NHS is cash strapped and doing it's best, so put yourself out a bit and be grateful. They do not have the capacity to provide time slots to suit everyone.

Are you there?
At your hospital, is it just a delivery suite, or is it a womens unit with maternity services attached?