I am so so angry!!! Please talk/listen to me! :(

[lovemybabyboy]

I am 13wks today with DC3, I have an appointment on tuesday for my booking in appointment, I have had to cancel due to work, I am a nurse working part time, tried to swap my shift but can't.
So I phoned the community midwives number (spoke to some sort of receptionist) and she basically shouted at me saying I HAVE TO go to my appointment that I can't change it and they will probably not have another booking in appointment for a few weeks! She was just ranting on saying by law they have to give me the time off, I told her I am a nurse, we hardly get time for a break they are not going to give me time off for an appointment!! And I have not told work that I am pregnant, I do not have to and I do not want to untill I have had a scan (which also has not even been arranged for me! so by the time I get one it will probably be another few weeks!!)

She told me to call back on monday as she doesn't have the appointment book for my clinic and it should be back by monday! ( I am working all day monday so will have to go outside on my break to call them).
She basically said that I should try and sort it to have the time off on tuesday...not going to happen!!!
I am so angry and so upset!!!
Am I being unreasonable??

What would you do regarding appointment and not getting scan appointment?
(my second pregnancy ended in mmc so would really like a scan asap!)

Sorry for the long post and thank you if you have read it!

Dontmind...I do know they can request, request being the operative word, for you to move appointments or schedule it for your day off but also that if you cannot be given another suitable appointment within a reasonable time-frame then the original one must stand otherwise your antenatal care is being jeopardised.

I dont know if all maternity/antenatal units work in the same way but were I had my DC's once you were assigned a particular consultant (high risk pregnancies) then you have appointments on the day they are in clinic. With my 2nd, my consultant was Thursdays and it didn't matter in the slightest that I didnt work Wednesdays, my consultant was only available to me routinely on Thursday's. I did ask to change consultants to go to the Wednesday clinic but was told this was impossible, work had no choice but to give me the time off as not to do so would leave me without proper medical management of my pregnancy.

Baking, but the midwife receptionist is giving the OP she has the right to the time off without a right to ask for a move of the appointment time - if it's not possible to move the appointment to a different day (like a consultant only available on a set day), then theyhave to give you the time, but a booking in appointment could quite easily be on another day (unless they only have appointments on one set day).

Most employers would be flexible about a consultant appointment, but a midwife appointment is clearly something that can be moved about.

While I agree that it's an important right to have time off, that doesn't absorb the service providers from showing any flexibility in appointment times.

I am another one too who has battled to get time off for appointments. I work for Doctors working 7.15-7.15 and not in my area. I get Mondays off and have a couple of appointments but they have been so rushed as they have tried to squeeze me in.
I was then told that the hospital that I'm having the baby in has a walk in clinic at the weekends and on weds nights. I don't get to see my team of midwives but at least I can see someone.
Thankfully I'm now finishing at 34 weeks so it won't be an issue.

Can you not see a mw at the hospital where you work? Also if you are already 13 weeks you must get your scan done soon, I believe they like to do the nt check by 13+6. Sorry if this has already been said, I have not read the whole thread. I an another of who has been slightly annoyed by the attitude of a receptionist you can't seem to get past. I do echo the advice that you need to confide in a supervisor/manager. Good luck.

I feel for you - I find the whole system very difficult and stressful as well - having 2 DC and a job it seems impossible for me to get an appointment sometimes. Our system has now centralised meaning that you can get an appointment most days although could be with any midwife and is a 50-60 minute walk from my house (lucky I have a car really as some days I have been so knackered with the pregnancy I couldn't do that return walk, especially given my pre-school and school drop offs and pick ups!!)

For the booking in appointment however it had to be done at my GP surgery and only a choice of 2 days and times (if they weren't already taken!!) - bizarre really as the midwife wasn't available so it was someone who had driven across the city to cover and arrived 40 minutes late so I think it would have been more straightforward to do it on the centralised system.

I would ring back on Monday and explain that you need to have your booking in appointment next week and the times you are available - and if she can't accommodate you at your own or another clinic - get her to ask the midwife to ring you and take it from there, escalating to manager if necessary. Tbh - benefit of hindsight and all that but I would have probably insisted on an appointment earlier than 13 wks as you are now very late getting into the system. I would try and book the next appointment asap - 16 wks in my area.

Good luck!

If work messed up your shift and you only just found out you have to work Tuesday then I think you are well within your rights to tell them you have an appt that can't be changed (without telling them what its for).

This late change of shift seems to be the (main) problem. Obv if you'd known for ages you were working then you could have swapped shift or appt. Because of this mess up (works fault) you have this situation.

Don't need to tell them why just a medical appt - personal.

I agree that the right to have antenatal appts shouldn't mean the midwife doesn't need to change your appt. She should be able to with more notice. The blame is not with her or you though its with last minute cock ups at work therefore I think they need to shoulder the consequences.

Or look for a drop in clinic. Sometimes at sure start centres or GP surgeries.

OP, I know you only found out your shifts recently, but when did you get your original appointment? Was it quite late?

I also didn't want work to know about my pregnancy until my 12 wk scan, but as soon as I got my scan appointment I booked a days annual leave for that day (so my work had about 6 weeks notice that I wanted the day off).

Were you just hoping that your shifts wouldn't clash with the date? Or like the other poster did you only get a fortnights notice?

It seems to me the easiest thing is either to tell your work your pregnant and get the time off or phone a sickie on the day (not something I'd recommend, and it would drop your work in the sh** rather than giving them some time to cover for you, but I'm sure you wouldnt' be the first person to do so).

No point getting stressed about it, worst case scenario appears to be you might have to wait another 2-3 weeks for a scan appointment - however if you still don't want to tell your work, then you could be in the same position with a new appointment.

I'm afraid I do think YABU. Presuming you've known about this appt for a couple of weeks, you could have just told the rotamaker that you had an appt that day and could they please make sure you weren't rotered
It sounds like you we're just hoping either your shifts would be lucky or someone would swap. That's a pretty poor way to prepare for an important antenatal appt. I work in hospitals, work shifts and I told work early to be able to take time. You'll have to tell them sooner or later and you can't expect any concessions til you do (though it doesn't sound like you blame work at all). But to blame your midwife for being a bit difficult over such a late change of appt is unfair.

I think your only option at this point is to apologise to work for the short notice, explain why and ask for time off. Otherwise you risk a late scan.
I can understand your stress over the whole issue now but I think hormones may be clouding your judgement a bit.

*nananaps, we have a full range of maternity services at our hospital and I know for a fact some women always see their midwife at our hospital, I would be willing to go to any other clinic or be seen in the hospital, and I wouldn't mind if I had to wait a couple of hours etc as I know they are busy.

If I have to wait a few weeks for a new appointment then I will as I said I know they are busy and I know its very short notice. My DH has said we can get a private dating scan done next week.

I was more upset about the fact that the receptionist was basically saying I am not allowed to change my appointment and I HAVE to come to my appointment on tuesday.

For my last pregnancy I got my appointments in time for me to request the day off as we are allowed to request what days we want to work (we don't always get what we request but I did somehow manage it in my last pregnancy, I think I did have to change at least one appointment).

When I got my appointment for tuesday, I told my midwife that I not sure if I might be working and she said if I was just phone up that number and they will change it for me and its not a problem. It was only the receptionist who thought it was a problem and she wasn't listening as she even shouted at me saying "if you are 28 weeks you need to have your booking in appointment right away!" I said "I am not 28 weeks I said I am 13 weeks!", then she said "Oh well then you might have to wait a few weeks before you get another appointment".

My community midwives only do booking in appointments on tuesdays and then all other appointments on thursdays.

Oh and I only work 2 days a week (not set days, different every week) and for the rest of the month I have tuesdays off so I will not have that problem again if they re-arrange for another week.

Speak to the manager. Write to midwife supervisor.

I was given similar treatment over cancelling an app due to (guess?!) an mc. Apparently it was a bit inconvenient.

Grrrr

OP, I see your problem and I sympathise - and it sounds as if you got a bullying agressive receptionist as much as anything else.

it's not 'precious' to expect some flexibility in maternity care arrangements. There is a big grey area between turning up to every scheduled appointment regardless of huge negative consequences to your own life, and expecting to be 'pandered' to.

Yeah, we should all have legal rights to time off. Apparently. As someone entirely self employed and the main breadwinner in my family, what do I do with repeated appts at really bad times for me? Tell my clients I can no longer meet their needs. Have them take their business elsewhere. Lose money and be unable to pay the mortgage that keeps the roof over my family's heads. Yeah, okay then.

As for all this 'just leave your work to cope' business - well, you've explained what you do, who you look after and what the consequences are. Would people be advising midwives to just phone in sick for their shift if they had a maternity appt, leaving their labour ward even more understaffed? I think not.

It is so difficult i know.
I have just finished work for mat leave, but was made to work till 37 weeks becasue no one is allowed any leave over Christmas and new year week.
I have 2 weeks leave to use and wanted to put it onto the start of my mat leave.
Turning up to booked appointments that are running so late that i had to leave wthout seeing a mw due to other comitments. (MW stood talking on the corridoor with a colleague about the house she was buying for 40 minutes while me and another woman waiting)

The list goes on and on of issues and inflexibility and annoyances.

I absolutely understand that you cannot just leave work though, sounds like the next few weeks will be ok, but get your requests in to make absolutely sure that you are not on shift.
You cant even rely on good numbers for that day to be relieved because invariably there will be some one ringing in sick, you need to be off.
Best thing for me, was the mat day unit, i get everything done through them rather than the community mws, easier all round.
Im high risk, so had weekly scans till 12 weeks, weekly BP checks thereafter (other than the cheeky ones i did at work), growth scans, so my service demand has been high.
I just dont know what people who dont know about these services go on..with great difficulty i should imagine.

Give it a go, give them a ring for booking in and ask for a scan date too while you are there.

If it helps, my booking appointment consisted of the midwife pointing at a chart telling me that broccoli was good, chocolate bad...!

I will never be pregnant again, but if I were I don't think I'd bother with any of their appointments; relax, you can rearrange, it is really not important

I had a snotty phone call from my gp because I asked for an appointment after 9.30, I'm a childminder so need to do the school run and not being able to means letting 4 parents down and I also can't afford the time off for the sake of getting an appointment 30 mins later! They've been better since and I've managed to fit appointments in but they seem to think I can just drop everything. when you're self employed its not that easy as much as the baby is important.

On the same subject - being entitled to take time off work for appointments - your work don't have to pay you though. During my last pregnancy I was only working mornings but my midwife appointments were only available on a Wednesday morning. This meant a lot of paid time off for all my appointments in total.

At my gp surgery the midwife is only available for appoiontments on Wed mornings between 9am and 12, once a fortnight and are often booked up a few months in advance, so if you don't guess when you will need the appointments and book several in advance, you end up missing some because the appointments are all fully booked.

Meant unpaid time off.

I don't think you are being unreasonable. I had similar issues booking in with the community midwives - had to make several phone calls just to get referred, I also wanted to arrange a time that suited myself as its not that simple just to leave work, especially if you're part-time, as I am, and feel you should be able to compromise on a suitable time. They wouldn't see me until 11 weeks after which they said they would arrange my scan which I thought was unreasonable as I had also recently suffered a MMC. My solution was to self- refer to my chosen hospital - one phone call got me a booking in appt and scan date at days and times suitable to myself, they were great.
I was told I still had to see the local midwife, which I did at a sure start centre about 5 miles from home, basically they just made me fill in a registration form to boost sure start usage stats and said as I'd been to the hospital they didn't need to see me!!
I work for a large, successful private company and really struggle with the NHS mindset of lack of customer service - we'd be out of business if we operated like them!
As a side note I did call my community midwife when trying to sort it out - I left messages with the midwife team and on her mobile. It was a source of great amusement that 9 weeks later I still hadn't heard from her! Thank god for my fab hospital - self-refer, it worked out great for me.