Single and pregnant with little support!

[Loulu24]

I recently found out I'm 7 weeks pregnant, the dad is unfortunately unsupportive, we hadn't been together that long. I feel totaly out of my depth and haven't had the course to tell friends and family yet! Has anyone else been in this situation?

hi yes I was only 17 when I found out I was expecting my 1st, dont worry things will be fine, I didnt even know how to use a washing machine or cook never mind look after baby but it was the most amazing thing to do and wouldnt change it for the world x

I found myself newly single with a newborn when I was 18, to be honest with you it was easier then than it was when I had my 2nd and was married lol. You will be fine and you will manage x

Haven't had experience but just know you will be fine. Have you been to the GP yet? Are you thinking of telling people soon or waiting until you've had your first scan?

If you don't want to tell people yet, and they think its odd that you're not drinking, just tell them you are really, really hungover and can't face it

That's good advice thanks, I was going to wait until after the scan to tell people just incase although it's difficult to cover up the grey/green tinge I'm sporting at the moment!!! I'm dreading the looks of disappointment!!!

Are you worried people will be disappointed? You might be happily surprised.... My Dad's a vicar and I was rather concerned what his reaction would be to his single daughter with a baby. Turns out he couldn't have been more pleased if he tried.

And if they're not happy for you, well you'll deal with it and move on. Take care my lovely x

You may be surprised, you may not get dissappoitment, but at least you are prepared if you do. This time of year is also perfect for covering up your tinge as everyone will just assume you've been overdoing it

Have a look at your local children's centre to see if they do any single parent groups, not sure how old you are but some also offer under 20 groups for young mums. Ask your mw if she knows of any groups or support for single parents too. Sometimes it's good to have a cuppa and a chat with someone who knows what you are going through

Have you thought about antenatal classes too? Sone areas have excellent NHS ones, others don't. The nct run paid for ones and it doesn't matter if you are single, you can take your birth partner or a friend or go on your own. Subsidies are also available in many cases and you can pay in installments. They are good for meeting some local mums to be and preparing you for labour, birth and the first few weeks.

I'm 24 almost 25 so wouldn't be so good for an under 20's group! Yeah it's the disappointment that I'm dreading so hopefully it will be ok, I think I'll tell my friends first I don't really want to go to all the appointments on my own!

Hey OP -

First of all, congratulations!

Second, the father may come around you never know, particularly after teh baby is born but for now I think you are right to assume you will be solo parenting.

In your situation, I would tell my best friend I was pregnant. The first fews months can be hard going and even if (god forbid) you miscarry or there are complication you may not want to deal with this alone. So I would tell one person and I am sure once they get over the initial shock (which is totally normal) they will be chuffed for you and a great support. Plus there is always mumsnet.

Agree, telling a friend sounds like a really good idea, you must be bursting to tell someone and there is always us like Squealy says

Join an ante-natal group on here then you'll have loads of people to chat to. There's a group for most "due in" months, and a wide range of people, having their first, second, third etc, some single, some married, some in civil partnerships.

Due in August ante-natal club is here

Feel slightly as I used to belong to an August Mn group. Agree that they are great for support.

Hello Lou, I found out in June I was 22 weeks pregnant. My partner of eighteen months didn't want to know.

I left my job, moved 2.5 hours home back to my parents.
My beautiful daughter was born in September.
It's hard it's emotional, it's sad, I'm angry, bitter and sour but most of all I am blessed.
It's been the toughest road with lots of help and support especially on here.
I can 100% say its the best thing I have ever done. It's more than I ever expected. People say I have the good and the bad times. Well no... I have the good times. There are no bad regarding being a mother.
She's my world. There's no love like it.
Some days she smiles and I well up. It's his loss, he will never see that as she doesn't see him enough.
I get all the cuddles, I get arms held out for me, I get chuckles, I do get vomited on, but honestly it's worth it

I hope your okay, you'll find Lots of support on here. My local sure start centre are great too.

Thanks so much I really did expect this from a website! I did hope that my now ex would come found but I feel he won't and even if he did I'm not sure how much of his involvement I want now. I know it's very early on but I feel this is something I already need to start thinking about! Yes I'm bursting to tell someone so I'll invite my fried from work over and tell her this evening! Hopefully the shock won't last too long! I'm already feeling much better about it all! Thanks do much girls xxxxx

Didn't expect this from a website even!!!!

That's what we're here for!
Where in the uk are you?
I still have ups and downs about what I want my ex to do, it's good you are fully prepared to go it alone!
What's the saying: hope for the best but prepare for the worst.
My ex is a twunt, I should hate him but I can't
Any ups and down post on here there's always someone up- at all hours!!!!

I'm in Sunderland, yes at the minute I'm an emotional hormonal wreck so I'm sure I will now I know how lovely everyone is! I feel a little bit like I hate him now even though it's a very strong word I just don't understand his behaviour! He doesn't think it's the right thing to do to have the baby but to not have the baby isn't an option to me, so I have to take responsibility for my actions! Unfortunately he does not feel the same and wants nothing to do with any part of it. He says he's not going to tell his family either which I'm struggling with because their lovely and I'm almost certain they would want some involvement but it's not my place to tell them... Or is it? Xxx

Oh i felt exactly the same. My exes parents know but they've not been rather forthcoming.
All I can say is concentrate on you.8 wish I had more. I tried to include him at a scan- he ruined. He had me driving around the country 3 days after I'd given birth. It's crazy now I think about it but I wanted him to change.
Two days after having her I found out he was sleeping with someone I hate. He tells everyone I left him.
Well what woman wants to live in a single room with a newborn.

So please please concentrate on yourself. I got PND and have needed a lot of support.

It's also a immensly proud feeling knowing everything in her world is provided for by me. I'm not flush, I've scrimped and saved every penny,

You need no one but you, you should be so proud of yourself already for being so so strong.

If you go to lone parents I think we have a new thread on their for us pregnant and alone. I think most of the arrivals are here now, but you'll find alot of experience and support.

Keep posting.

How did your friend react Lou?

My friend has been brilliant even met up with baby's dad who doesn't want to be involved for sure so that's fine! I know where I stand! I will have great support I'm absolutely sure! It's a shame but if that's the way it has to be then that's that! Excited, nervous, terrified, scared stiff!!!! X

That's fantastic, very please for you

Your friend sounds very supportive,so glad you have someone in RL to talk to