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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Who do I speak to about a homebirth?

72 replies

TisTheSeasonToBeJolly · 15/12/2012 20:17

Hello ladies, Im only 12 weeks pregnant so got plenty of time to prepare, but would like to know who I speak to about planning a homebirth? I don't see my midwife again till January so can't speak to her till then.

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RillaBlythe · 15/12/2012 21:38

Well I suppose if you have minimal tears & are healing okay you could refuse post birth checks, but you are probably best off getting used to the idea of letting your fanjo go on display. Read some Ina May Gaskin!

aimingtobeaperfectionist · 15/12/2012 21:38

Ps at the time you will not give a hoot who's looking at your fanjo. The more the merrier.

Original poster

TisTheSeasonToBeJolly · 15/12/2012 21:47

Nooo - no-one is putting their hands up my bits! I know its to check how dialiated you are but I really see no need for anybody to put there hands up there. I will know when im going into labour as my body will tell me. I don't need someone rooting about telling me how wide my fanjo is. No one and I mean no one is putting there hand inside me EVER! Eurgh its just cringe worthy

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MrsJingleBells74 · 15/12/2012 21:53

They will need to see how dilated you are in order to check that the labour is progressing ok. Trust me, people looking up your fanjo is fairly inevitable during labour & I'm sure when it comes to it you won't care. If it's in the best interests of your baby surely you'd let people look?

Dollydowser · 15/12/2012 21:54

I had 2 home births and used an independent midwife. At no time did she feel the need to put her hands inside me!!

aimingtobeaperfectionist · 15/12/2012 21:56

Um, I can assure you they will be putting their hands up there. Oh and it's a full hand. Not just fingers.

Original poster

TisTheSeasonToBeJolly · 15/12/2012 21:58

Dolly do you have to pay for an indepenant midwife? Ahh thank you, i really can't see why they need to do it. MrsJingles I'll be researching this anyway but i just can't seehiw its in my babys best interest for people to look at my fanjo?

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MrsDimples · 15/12/2012 22:02

Ha ha ha.

Best hope your placenta comes out on it's on then . . . I had three separate people shoulder deep trying to pull it out.

It isn't cringeworthy it's a part of the human body and totally normal.

MrsJingleBells74 · 15/12/2012 22:02

I started off having a home birth. I was 5cm dilated when the midwives arrived. Due to monitoring it became apparent that there was a problem. If I hadn't allowed my fanjo to get looked at me & my baby could have died. In the end I needed an emergency C section under general anaesthetic.

How did you get pregnant in the first place if you're so averse to anyone looking at or touching your fanjo?

Indith · 15/12/2012 22:06

I've had all 3 of mine at home with bog standard absolutely fabulous NHS MWs.

Although an internal exam is the norm you do not have to consent at all and you can chat about that later on in your pregnancy when discussing birth plan so that you have it on your notes. All MWs will be skilled in seeing how far along you are from your behaviour, it is just that an internal is pretty accurate :) I had one in each labour but just the one, I quite liked having a number of cm when the MW arrived, then I got on with it :)

Do try to be open minded though, if things don't go to plan you may NEED hands inside you. You don't have to have it in the course of normal labour but try to get your head around it so it doesn't come as a major shock should you actually need it for your and your baby's safety.

Original poster

TisTheSeasonToBeJolly · 15/12/2012 22:08

MrsDimples - I thought there was an injection available now that you can take to make the placenta come out. A midwife tried to pull my mums placenta out and she nearly died. MrsJingles - im not averse to my dp and my fanjo :) but stranger midwife who I've met a handful of times? Erm yep don't really want you touching looking at my bits thank you very much

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EdgarAllanPond · 15/12/2012 22:09

actually no VEs are not mandatory and are optional just like everything else.

you don't have to have someones hand up there. you may decide you wish to if the midwife asks to check on progress.

midwife usually listens to babys heartbeat using a monitor touched to your bump, and only every 15 mins or so.

it is only if there is a problem they would want additional fanjo-involving monitoring.

Original poster

TisTheSeasonToBeJolly · 15/12/2012 22:11

Oh indith if there's a serious problem that could put me or my baby at risk then they can do what they want lol. If there's a problem then its fine :) im talking more along the lines of its a normal labour and everythings going to plan then leave me to it coz my body will know what to do. If there was any risk to me or baby then do what they want :)

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EdgarAllanPond · 15/12/2012 22:11

the placenta should come out all by itself when you feed your newborn, so long as the delivery has been straightforwards, no need for injection (unless you want it)

i could have given birth every time without any hand-up-jo. however i like to know if things are progressing.

Original poster

TisTheSeasonToBeJolly · 15/12/2012 22:13

Edgar - ooh thanks for that I was starting to wonder if Id got it totally wrong then!

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Indith · 15/12/2012 22:13

re placenta, yes there is an injection of you don't want a natural 3rd stage. As all things in is normally fine but occasionally goes wrong so as I said before do try to become comfortable with the idea in case you need it. If things go wrong it can be traumatic enough without having to overcome your discomfort of people toughing your fanjo.

MrsDimples · 15/12/2012 22:14

I had the injection.
I breastfed my baby.
I was minutes away from surgery.

I also started out as a home birth.

I seriously think you need to get your head around people looking at your vagina. If you have an NHS home birth, chances are you'll never of met the MW's beforehand.

melliebobs · 15/12/2012 22:15

You don't see the point in a vaginal examination during labour?! I know everyone's different. But after 18 hours in labour I was ready to push. Everything in my body was telling me to do it. Mw had called a second mw and paediatrician in and had a delivery pack ready. Gave me a quick check. 1cm. 1 bastard cm in 18 hours. Good job they checked. If they hadn't idve done god knows what damage!

They only do it if they need to and you'll get over it

Indith · 15/12/2012 22:15

cross posts :)

Next MW appointment tell them you want HB. When they do HB paperwork make sure no VEs unless absolutely necessary is on the notes. Sorted.

Original poster

TisTheSeasonToBeJolly · 15/12/2012 22:18

Indith yes I will do that, thank you :)

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MrsDimples · 15/12/2012 22:19

I disagree Indith, not all midwives are skilled enough to know how far along you are, from your behaviour. I was at the pushing stage and the MW was adamant I wasn't fully dilated. I had been checked a couple of hours before. I had agreed to epidural, and was waiting for the anaesthetist who was busy and delayed. A Dr came to check whilst I was waiting and yes, it was the pushing stage.

Indith · 15/12/2012 22:22

OK I'll correct myself, they should know.

However they don't have x-ray eyes.

MrsJingleBells74 · 15/12/2012 22:28

The standard of care you get varies enormously depending on where you are in the country. I think you are a bit naive if you think you're going to give birth & nobody is going to look at your fanjo. I think you need to get your head around the idea that it could happen, could be with someone you've never met before & prepare yourself for that fact.

I do think after a few hours of contractions you'll be past caring though!

Original poster

TisTheSeasonToBeJolly · 15/12/2012 22:33

Well no actually, its my fanjo and if I dont want people looking at it they can't. Its my body. Unless their is a problem which would put myself or my child at risk then no they dont need to mess around with my bits. And if there was a serious problem I assume I would go to hospital and have a c-section. My mum had the same midwife all through out her pregnancy as she wouldn't see anybody else. I shall be doing the same. I won't be online till tomorrow now so if iv had any replies will have to reply to them then

OP posts:

MrsDimples · 15/12/2012 22:41

How to you expect the baby to be delivered at home, without the MW looking at your VAGINA?

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