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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Please don't flame me, I know what I'm doing is terrible

52 replies

itsmyfirsteek · 01/12/2012 21:41

I nned some help. I'm almost 20 weeks and I'm still smoking. I have horrendous anxiety and I've convinced myself that at my scan on monday I'm going to have lost my baby. I've tried so so hard and have gone fro 30 to 10 but I know this is still not good enough.
I had a scan at 18 weeks and all was fine but I'm so scared. What are the chances that its all over and I don't know?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

RileyTheLittleMonster · 01/12/2012 22:24

We are all here for you OP, 30-10 is brilliant my boyfriend can't even cut down by one!! Fingers crossed, and everything will be fine just try and enjoy your pregnancy!

BluelightsAndSirens · 01/12/2012 22:26

X post, we all actually sound like really nice people trying to support some one suffering from the crippling problem of anxiety and an unborn child who has no choice.

I hope op comes back and knows she isn't alone.

KatoPotatoHoHo · 01/12/2012 22:28

Oh meant to say, my wee boy was born absolutely perfect and healthy and is a little genius!

I joke to friends that 20 Marlboro Menthol, lucozade and coco pops are the winning combo!

BluelightsAndSirens · 01/12/2012 22:39

Great festive NC Kate

KatoPotatoHoHo · 01/12/2012 22:39

Did you ever see my suggestion for you Blue?

Original poster

itsmyfirsteek · 01/12/2012 22:40

Wow I really didn't expect so many responses and certainly thought I was going to shunned. I can't tell you how much the support means and I am going to talk to my other half tomorrow about some help to go from 10 to 5 and then to none over thenxt couple of weeks. He's amazing and I know he will help me.
I do know the risks and I'm obviously ashamed, I do it in secret. I've worked hard on my anxiety and my medication has been reduced but I would like the medication to be the only "extra thing" my baby is getting.
Thanks again, I'll post after my scan on Monday xx

OP posts:

Greensleeves · 01/12/2012 22:42

Don't be ashamed, it's a waste of energy.

Good luck on Monday (it'll be fine!) and do post again x

SundaeGirl · 01/12/2012 22:42

I'm pretty unsurprised the OP hasn't been back.

SundaeGirl · 01/12/2012 22:42

(Crossed posted that'll teach me)

Greensleeves · 01/12/2012 22:43

KatoPotatoHoHo · 01/12/2012 22:48

Absolute waste of energy indeed! Please do keep us posted x

monsterchild · 01/12/2012 23:01

If smoking helps you then it's best not to quit cold turkey. Try cutting down just like you've been doing.

As others have said, you aren't the first mom to do this. Stress isn't good for babies either! What has your GP said? Get some advice (people here have had good comments) about just smoking one less every day. Have you looked into getting an electric cigarette? they seem to help a lot of people cut down the nicotine, and limit the smoke you're breathing.

Good luck, I am sure you baby is going to be ok.

Lougle · 01/12/2012 23:05

You've done really well to get down to 10 The other tip some people find useful, is to finish each cigarette early. So you only smoke 3/4, then 1/2 then 1/4 etc.

TwoFacedCows · 01/12/2012 23:09

have a look into an electric cig, i gave up a year ago using them. easy peasy!!

OR... how about breaking each of your cigs in half? i always liked to finish a fag so could never throw away a half finished one, but breaking it is half and only smoking half is easier.

AlienRefluxLooksLikeSnow · 01/12/2012 23:09

Hi, lougle and monsterchild both have good ideas that can help you stop, but honestly, stressing and beating yourself up is probably doing more harm than 10 fags a day, please post after Monday, when I'm sure you will have seen your healthy baby, and will have a renewed determination to cut down further, good luck :)

SchnappsDamnYou · 01/12/2012 23:10

Alan Carr book. It's called the Easy Way to Stop Smoking. It has a hugely high success rate, over 90 percent quit with it. It really does make it easy and you can smoke whilst reading it. You can download on kindle or get from any bookstore. It does make it easy, I promise and you don't feel stressed quitting. You don't even have cravings! Give it a try, you have very little to lose just by reading a book. good luck

TwoFacedCows · 01/12/2012 23:11

sorry that was not very clear. I couldn't finish a fag early, so that i left half of it. seemed too much of a waste. but breaking half off and just smoking what was left is easier- stubbing out the butt was part of me smoking!

ozymandiusking · 01/12/2012 23:54

First of all, it can be extremely difficult to stop smoking. I know, a very obvious statement! I am sure that some people are more addicted than others.
May I suggest you just try this method.
Just take each 5 minutes at a time.
Keep your cigarettes and lighter to hand, where you can see them.
You can have one when ever you want, there's no pressure,
Just postpone it for a couple of minutes.
Look at the packet,even pick it up, but don't have one.
When the desire is there again,even if it's a minute later, just think,
"I can have one whenever I want"
but just postpone it for a couple of minutes.
tell yourself over and over again you can have one if you want, but just delay it.
Don't run out of cigarettes
You can do this!!
If you can manage 24 hours you are a non smoker.
Put the money that you would have spent on a packet into a tin every day,
( count it every night)
Please try this, it worked for me.

gloucestergirl · 01/12/2012 23:57

My sister-in-law smoked with her two pregnancies and they are great fanastic boys. I can't help myself from saying what the others have said about giving up. But giving up smoking can be impossible for some people and then stress on the baby can be even worse....

It can turn out all okay in the end, that's my experience.

gloucestergirl · 01/12/2012 23:59

PS Allen Carr's Easy Way to Stop Smoking. Absolutely brilliant. Buy it today (yesterday). I thought it was silly that a book could help you stop smoking, but it can.

xmasevebundle · 02/12/2012 00:07

I did a thread on here about smoking a while ago.

Unless you have smoked you will never understand the urges to smoke.

I did feel awful smoking, i stopped at 10w then i had a packet of 10 at 20w and had a blip here and there. I have maybe smoked 50fags since i found out i was pregnant. It makes me personally less stressed out. I can get worked up for days and smoking was my release.

The baby isnt inhaling it, just when you smoke it tightens the cord and makes their heart beat twice as fast(im not trying to scare you either).

I haven't had a fag now for 8 weeks, you can do it if you put your mind to it.

cafebistro · 02/12/2012 00:11

First of all please don't beat yourself up about this!
This is how it went for me ......
DC1 - I smoked for the whole pregnancy ( very sad but true).
DC2 - I smoked until week 11 and then gave up for the rest of the pregnancy.
DC3 - I didn't smoke at all.

Is there a big difference between my 3 children now? No not really - none of them have health problems. The only difference I would say was the birth weight - a lb and a half difference between DC1 and DC3.

At the end of the day you know that smoking isn't good for you or your baby but it's up to you whether you take the advice and act on it by quitting. You can do it! I gave up whilst pregnant with DC2 and have never looked back!

honeytea · 02/12/2012 00:14

OP maybe a doppler would help your anxiety, I found mine really helpful early in my pregnancy but also on days when my baby has been less active and recently when I have had pre-eclampsia symptoms. the angel sounds one is great and around 20 pounds from e-bay.

Good luck at your scan.

tamster83 · 02/12/2012 06:47

the facts are there . smoking during pregnancy is dangerous so why sugar cote it. I personally know it's not easy quitting and the only way ull do it is if u actually want to ....
most people fail who I know because they actually enjoy it and its there choice so cutting it right down is probably the best option .
can u not get help from your midwife ? I had somebody come round every 2weeks to help me in my last pg along with the substitutes they offer you . it really helped for me

RooneyMara · 02/12/2012 07:59

Good luck OP. It sounds like a horrible thing to be going through. If someone had told me I couldn't have chocolate ever again I'd be horrified, and if smoking is your thing then I'm sure it's even harder than that.

For some reason I couldn't ever get addicted to it though I tried really hard as I thought it was cool. The first entire cigarette I ever managed to smoke was the day before I discovered I was pregnant with ds1. And I did sort of want to keep doing it, then, simply forthe fact I wasn't allowed to - but luckily for me I had other issues which meant it wasn't a big deal, and I was very lucky to be able to stop then and there.

However in other ways I am not the best mother by far! We all do something wrong.

But I understand how the pressure to stop can be so counterproductive.
I hope you find a way round it.

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