39+1 and MIL has a countdown on facebook!! ffs!!

[dylsmimi]

Yes I know I'm probably being grumpy and unreasonable but I know there are 6 days till my due date I just don't need it shared with all of MILa friends on Facebook.
And yes she is excited bit bloody hell feel under total pressure.
Feel like keeping this baby in for an extra 10days just to piss her off!
I'm starting to.worry when labour will start and if I'll get to the hospital on time, can I defrost the car and get Ds1 sorted! Plus all my other to do list!! So I really don't need a countdown!!
Anyone else feel like this or am I just a grumpy cow?!!

Thanks for reading my rant - don't want to shout at Dh about it but needed to let it out! :)

YANBU. Though I would approach it very carefully. Maybe say that you understand that she is excited but it's making you feel very pressured and you would appreciate if she could take it down.

on fb? hide the post

you are very hormonal

MIL was bloody awful from conception to completion of DS - made me feel like an incubator, incidental to the whole process! She kept offering 'advice' until one day she told me I should be eating lots of liver (bork) and I sad, in my most Lady Uppington-Harsey voice "Actually, liver is overloaded with retinol, which is poisonous to the foetus." Didn't get any more advice until DS was born, so I had a little bit of rest, at least. She also did a whole heap of boasting, which I hated. She made me terribly grumpy. It was a bit tough though - I felt pretty guilty trying to lock her out of the whole process as DH is an only child and I was the only opportunity she had to become a nice Jewish grandmother, sadly nice Jewish grandfather died many years ago. To further illustrate, she was really old when she had DH, and I was in my 30s - she's only 4 years younger than my DGF so she had some really outdated ideas (like 'no need for a car seat when you could just lay him on the floor behind the front seats - we used to do it and most of you survived'!)
Ask her to take it down to respect your privacy. If she doesn't, attempt a log in with 'forgot password' and see if it locks her out of her account or you could always take to the raspberry tea and get DC out now!

And FFS, don't tell her when you go into labour!

Shoot her.

Oh it's actually a toughie as she's just excited about this brilliant thing you're doing but it's incredibly irritating to feel so watched. Do you get on? Can you have lunch and casually mention it?

PS Blissfully, raspberry leaf tea is a uterine tonic which strengthens the uterus in order to make your 2nd stage more effective. That's the theory anyway. Nothing to do with bringing on labour.

I am very hormonal dame margot! Very true!! :)
I was going to hide her posts but i would know everyday It's being put up there!
Very tempted to put a status about 'a watched pan never boils'!! I've so far had no signs of early labour but had premature waters breaking with Ds1 so had to be induced a few days after due date so not sure why she thinks babies run to time!!
I don't want to upset her as generally we get on well and she's always keen to step up and help.
May chicken out and get Dh to have a word!

She doesn't live quite close enough to.pop over for lunch or a face to face conversation

Blissfully - that's such a sneaky idea with the password!!
Twitchy - not only burglars but surprised you didn't have a few unwanted guests or awkward conversations!!

It's such a shame that before you say anything to some people you have to say 'don't put this on Facebook!!'

dylsmimi I am indeed a sneaky person! You could always play her at her own game and post on her wall something like

1. Yes, it's really boring waiting every day...waiting...waiting...still nothing happens...still waiting...still nothing...still no news...still nothing to see here...still boring...
2. As soon as there is anything to report, I'll let you all know on here!
3. You know that Lord McAlpine who is suing everyone who mentioned his name on the Internet? ...

ISeeThreadPeople I stand corrected...maybe I was confusing it with cups of semen?

I can see my MIL doing something like this, I'm 6 months and she is already counting down the days, I know she is excited for us but sometimes people just need to back off, she texts me everyday with baby names and they are awful, plus I want me and DH to pick the name not her. She's trying to give me advise when I've not asked for it and asks me when I've brought something why do I need that as she managed without it. Maybe get DH to have a little word to just ask if she can take the post down as it's making you feel really pressured!!

I think YABU, but will put it down to hormones :) In the grand scheme of things, it a fucking little countdown timer that has at most 10 days life span. Its her fb and imo she's not doing anything wrong.

YANBU, so annoying to feel pressured like that. My in-laws live in the UK and I specifically asked them not to book flights to come over until we told them DC1 had actually been born.... He was 12 days late and they had bloody well come over in the meantime and were breathing down my neck like a welcoming committee from hell - the day after we took him home from the hospital they came for the whole day and sat on the end of my bed while I struggled with trying to breastfeed and everything else that goes with it. I wanted to kill them and it still rankles nearly 4 years on. What was annoying was that I had called my MIL and asked her to be patient about booking flights as I didn't need/want the pressure.

If I were you I would ring her myself to ask her to take the FB stuff down, just explain how much pressure it is making you feel and how you really don't need the countdown...

By the way, I am now 36 wks with DC2 and have told me in-laws it's not due until mid-January, in fact it's due 28th December.... Ha! Book THAT flight.....

Sympathies. I went two weeks overdue and FiL spent the entire fortnight complaining on FB that he was fed up of waiting! Also, the baby being late interfered with plans they had made with my SiL, and I got complaints about that too. It was all deeply irritating.

I can beat all these with the most annoying and selfish mother in the world (MIL is wonderful luckily). My mother had gone on and on that she thought she should be with me whilst I was in labour with my first child (fat chance). Because I refused, she turned up at the hospital whilst I was in labour and managed to blag her way onto the locked labour ward, saying I had been phoning her in tears begging for her to come. She then proceeded to go from room to room, looking in on women in labour until she found the room I was in. Luckily security had been phoned by this point and arrived just after she walked in on me, part way through pushing out the baby. The midwife asked if I wanted her to stay and when I said no, had security remove her. She was banned by the hospital from visiting due to her behaviour.

I would tell your MIL that you are finding the countdown stressfull and your midwife has said stress can delay the onset of labour. This might gently encourage her to take it down and its only a small white lie.

In the same boat here!

My MIL is lovely but soooo OTT. She asked me if I was putting anything on FB o announce PG and when I said no she was like 'oh good, it'd you were I would I have to' what???

When pram shopping she offered us every piece of advice going,til I pointed out it was 30 years since she needed a pram.

She's all but cancelled Xmas his year as 'she may need to drop everything to come to our rescue when bubs arrives'. Er no, you can still have Xmas love, your visiting WILL BE RESTRICTED.

It's the general 'I know best about everything' attitude I can't cope with!!!

Holy Mindfuck, NAR4, your mum is unbelievable...... Are you still in contact with her?

Wow, I'm gobsmacked at what some of you have had to put up with!

My parents are very excited overbearing too but I've told them that nobody will be informed when I am in labour, it went down like a cup of cold sick but tough, the last thing I want is to be worried about people clock watching nor do I want DH bombarded with texts asking for updates.

In fact we plan to keep her arrival secret for a few hours so we can have time for just the 3 of us before the masses arrive.

Oh these happy and excited grandmas- how very dare they!

I'd put a comment on saying "Aww, sweet but you do know that only 15% of babies arrive on their due date*, one way or another it's pretty much garenteed not to be on 5th December! Don't worry, we'll let you know when we've got some news!"

*this is a completely made up stat, but it's the sort that noone questions...

Hey seeker, it's great that they are happy and excited... It's NOT great if they are muscling in, putting pressure on, doing the opposite of what they are reasonably asked to do, bursting onto the labour ward etc. Have you not read some of these stories?????

Nope. I'd be fuming. It's not her baby: she's had her shot. You're not some sort of cake she's put in the oven and is waiting to eat.

I'm having #2 abroad and have banned both sets of parents from coming over until 4 weeks after my due date (which I've been evasive about - just 'late February'). I do not want DublinMammy's experience...