Ok, those who have already done it, just how bad are the sleepless nights in the early days?

[dontcarehow]

I'm starting to get fed up with the comments about how we should be enjoying sleep now because we won't get any AT ALL once the baby is here. Obviously I know that babies are awake in the night quite a lot, and it'll be hard work but seriously, they can't be awake literally all the time can they? I know its a stupid thing to ask but are people just exaggerating when they say you won't sleep at all? I mean they must be getting a couple of hours at least.

I didn't have easy babies but didn't have a problem as I co-slept and breastfed my last two and will to the same with this one. Have read 3 in a bed before I co-slept so it was an informed choice and I never looked back. They would both suckle all night but I hardly stirred unless to roll over and put them on the other boob and even then I didn't fully wake up = happy baby and happy mummy ! Didn't have a problem getting them out of the marital bed either...by a year they had naturally weaned of the boob at night and by the time they turned away from me to go sleep told me they were ready for their own bed and that was that. Dispite claims from my MIL that I would have clingy insecure children I have actually found the opposite. Could be worth looking into as an option ?........ And I forgot to say DD1 was a complete nightmare baby and was only happy on the boob so I actually looked forward to bed time as I could relax and feed in peace !

I was very lucky with DS and he fed 3 hrly from the start and went right back to sleep afterwards. Pregnant again now and I have a feeling karma will give me a nightmare sleeper!

My DS woke up to feed every 3 hours until he was 6 months old and we did controlled crying because I was beyond exhausted. For example, he would wake up at 12 o'clock and again at 3, even if it had taken until 2.15 to get him fed, changed and back off to sleep. It usually took me about 30 minutes to get off to sleep again because I was freezing cold and needed to warm up (even with a blanket wrapped around me when feeding) so would get 15 mniutes sleep before he woke up again.

During the day I could never sleep because I was so tired I was worried about going into a deep sleep and not waking up when he cried. At night, his dad was there to act as a 2nd pair of ears.

If I did it again, I'd use an electric blanket to get me warm again as soon as I got back into bed. Co-cleeping didn't work for me as DS could smell the milk and just wanted to feed all the time and we couldn't feed in a position where I could sleep whilst he fed.

Honestly?

DD1 didn't sleep at all at night. For 12 weeks. She started screaming at 10pm and I spent the entire night singing, rocking, and patting. Over that 12 weeks she gradually settled earlier and earlier (6am at first, then 4am, then 2am, etc.) She then woke several times per night, every night.

DD2 was better - she'd wake up 3 hourly, but struggle to get comfortable after feeding due to reflux. So every 3 hours I'd be up for 1½ hours. That was hard.

DD3 was a dream, in comparison. 4 hourly waking, feed, burp, bed.

I think it can depend on your attitude.

I just gave myself over to the baby & BF and had minimal expectations of myself re doing anything else for the first three months few weeks. So I stayed relaxed (mostly), slept when I could, and just rolled along with it and didn't stress. Then the sleep when it comes, or not, was never really an issue for me.

I did housework if I wanted to - no pressure there. I had nice food in, flask of herbal tea on the go, went for daily walks etc. Sleeping all night long did become a thing of the past but it really didn't matter as I could nap in day etc.

DD2 was certainly a better sleeper than DD1 (though DP has reverse memory of this)

Hm. First few days were hell then DD had jaundice so that week was obviously awful.
Then after that was brill. Baby fed and slept well. I lived on pure adrenaline.

Since then she's been all over the place! The last few weeks have been HARD!!

Just how unprepared are u that u felt the need to ask this rather inane question and probably scare urself silly in the process???

I'm astounded. Mine is finally doing a full night at 2. She did 6hrsat one stretch at 1.

Before that u really don't wish to know, butcha will find out soon!!!

Good luck!

OP - I am grateful you asked this question .

I am 29wks and seems like a lot of people get a weird amount of schadenfreude from scaring the pants of first timers with the YOU WILL NEVER EVER SLEEP AGAIN line. So much so that I have just stopped listening to people about this altogether.

It has been helpful getting a realistic idea of what to expect so thanks posters. Seems like it varies from baby to baby but that it is generally tough going for the first few weeks at least.

That's totally THEIR stuff you know. People gleefully rubbing their hands because soon you will experience the hell they experienced... or something like that

I'd say, just expect the worst and it can only be better. My DS went 3-4 hours between feeds right from the start, so that was great. Also, we co-slept because it worked for us (i.e. he would sleep, I would sleep, husband would sleep - everyone won). It was hard when he was colicky and then later on when teething.

Just take advantage of maternity leave, sleep when you can, don't think anything of having a few naps during the day and let DH/DP do the dishes/dinner/etc. Also I was amazed at how well my body was able to cope with sleep deprivation. It's just you know.. part of it and sometimes it sucks but you cope with it.

It totally depends on the baby.

If you manage a reasonable amount of sleep people will rub their hands and warn you about teething, if that goes OK it'll be the terrible twos or teenagers. Don't take it too seriously.

Depends on your baby but if your baby is a normal to bad sleeper it's very very tough for a few months.

It's indescribable the affects it can have but we all survive it

Definitely depends on the baby, some are little sleepers (like my niece) and others are refluxy colicky nightmares like my ds who would only sleep on my/his dads chest for the first 3 weeks.

Look, when its your first baby nothing can prepare you really, whatever happens you will be sleep deprived in a way you probably won't have been before. You'll cope though, and those early days pass really fast.

My baby slept a lot in the first 2 weeks which was good as I had flu and bf was excruciating at that stage. After that I learned to bf lying down and we co slept and everything got easier. You do have a kind of euphoria though for five days or so which helps a lot! I stayed awake for ages just so excited, posting photos on Facebook etc.

All 4 of my babies woke every 2 hours (at least) for a feed in the night. I went to bed about 8pm or I fell asleep on the sofa.

You don't really get used to a lack of sleep, but you do adjust. All babies are different and I know people who have breatfed babies who sleep 12 hours through the night (very rare though).

We all manage some how and live through it and remember it is a tiny part of your childs life. I found it helped to remind myself that when I was tired and feeling sorry for myself.

I'm sure you will be fine and find your own routine that works for you.

Posters have talked about the tiredness peaking at 3-6 weeks and linking this into baby's routine - I wonder if it's also down to your body adapting? For example, DS was still waking 2-3 times per night at 10 months. I thought this was fine at the time. Now, I would consider this a major problem. My DH said at the time there was no way he could cope with the night wakings.

I wonder if our hormones in some way deafen our tiredness? It would make sense or we would never contemplate a second!

Have a plan, it is knackering but if you and your partner work together you can make it easier. I BF first 8 weeks do in charge of all feeds. DH would take care of restless baby (whilst on paternity leave) in between times through the night, both my babies took couple of weeks to get day/night adjusted the right way round.
When dh back at work we were in more of a routine and I took charge of all night wakings (ds at 2.9 still awful sleeper) and he does the early morning rise. He gets a full nights sleep and feels better for it, I have disturbed sleep but a lie in, particularly at weekends which helps make up for it. With ds we used to just take turns but we have both said we are much happier with this arrangement and feel much less tired.
Obviously this may not work for everyone but good to work out what you can cope with better, I find it easier to rise in the night than in the morning and dh just sleeps right through the children's cries in the night do would be no use

DS was/is horrendous sleep wise. Hoping DC2 won't be sits and prays on knees

Oh dear god. The first 6 weeks are horrific. Up every 2 or 3 hours to feed and change so just an hour or so for you. I've never experienced exhaustion like it. Just as I was about to tell the HV I couldn't cope any more she slept. 11pm till 5am. Oh, sheer bliss! She is now 9 weeks and consistently sleeping 11-5. Roll on 6am :) hopefully soon!

Oh and you'll never sleep again! Mwah ha ha ha ha!!!! rubs hands in bizarre fit of glee

It's true it's hard and you can't possibly imagine what it feels like until you are in the middle of it all... Hopefully you will be lucky and get a settled baby. Both mine were very unsettled, no 1 had colic and no 2 horrendous silent reflux so pretty much screamed his way through first 8 months of life :0/ he is 3 years now and I'm still sleep deprived! The good news is you do get used to it ;0) xx

And learn to love the chaos . Probably.

I also used to get totally fed up of people telling me to enjoy my sleep at the end of pregnancy - I was so uncomfortable I just wanted to tell them where to go! However now with a 3 week old I know exactly what they meant - the tiredness is relentless. But at the same time I take comfort go the fact that at least the few hours I do get is comfortable and I don't wake myself up just trying to change position. AND things are improving already 3 weeks in... Every cloud etc etc...
And lastly - yes you will be getting up many times in the middle of the night, but you're getting up for YOUR BABY - and when they're not screaming they're incredibly cute, and there is absolutely nothing like their windy smiles and snuffles and coos to make it all seem ok

You truly don't realize how sleep deprived you will be. I never believed it either. But when dd1 came along, she was horrific at sleeping. She'd never be able to settle herself to sleep, always whingey, fed every two hours. Just horrid from day one. She's 3 now, and hasn't changed much with sleep, and whinging.

However, dd2 is a completely different story. She slept pretty much as soon as she had her first feed. Would sleep for four hour stints, and that didn't help as she was jaundiced for about 3 weeks. Slept through at 9 weeks, and still has two naps in he day. She's now 16mo.

Just prepare yourself for the worst, get as much support as possible, and good luck!

It is fairly brutal, but a lot depends on your baby. Some babies wake 2 hourly, some more often, some less often, and some won't go back to sleep afterwards, and some will only sleep with someone holding them.
Many babies get windy which makes them unsettled.
You just don't know until you have yours what you are going to get.
I found it a lot harder the first time, simply because I was used to 6-8 hours of sleep in a solid stretch. Second time around ds was only 21 months and still woke occasionally, so it wasn't so bad, and dd was a really good sleeper at night (feed change put down, straight to sleep).