Anyone else think pregnancy sucks?

[CalamityJ]

From all day every day sickness, to pain in your back, pelvis, hips, to heartburn and acid reflux. Who says pregnancy is the most magical time of your life? And hearing how well everything's going with everyone else's pregnancies is NOT HELPING! Looking for fellow moaners to tell me how much their pregnancy has sucked and how they wished they'd got help sooner rather than struggled along.

I had pretty hard second pregnancy and said all through it and afterwards, never again, but now look back at that time fondly and would do it all again in a shot.

I had awful sickness when I was preg and sadly miscarried Boo. Anyway, looking forward to the day we finally TTC again but dreading nine months of sobriety and no fags! I will really really a bottle of wine on a Saturday night. And Sunday!

Also, I remember vivid vivid dreams and horrible night sweats at only about weeks. Gross!

• only about eight weeks

I did sort of love being pregnant though, despite all the crapness

I feel so jealous when I see other pregnant women walking normally, not waddling and not looking in pain. I know that sounds really bad doesn't it?

I was in a lift whilst out shopping a month ago (I'd only been out an hour) and a lady (a complete stranger) asked me if I was ok as I looked so awful and she told me to go home to bed.

What also really sucks is that most people think pregnancy is always perfect and painfree so when u tell others that you are suffering and have been signed off sick they assume you are skiving. My boss was surprised that being pregnant made me tired and that my SPD which has had me in agony hasn't disappeared within a week of seeing the useless physio. I emailed the boss to let him know I was signed off and wouldn't be back to work again before the ml starts. He still hasn't replied and that was over two weeks ago.
So pregnancy def does suck royally.

I'm very upset about the nasty things people have said about me. I'm not belittling people's problems, I'm not saying people shouldn't talk about their experiences, I was saying that can we just remember how lucky we are. And now I've been accused of things I've never said or felt. I was warned about this before I joined mums net and I'm deeply distressed about the cruel things that have been said about me. You are were all so pleased that I left that conversation, so I'm sure you'll be pleased that I am leaving mums net because I am so distressed at how I have been portrayed. So good work ladies.

Good grief, get a grip. You came on a thread and admonished people for their 'selfish self-indulgent comments' about how pregnancy isn't all rainbows and kittens and how we should simply feel lucky instead. And you wonder why people took issue

Normally I read threads and I do feel for people who claim they have been ganged up on, but freya, don't you think we KNOW we're lucky to be pregnant? It doesn't mean we need to like feeling terrible. I don't think you can be surprised that you annoyed people by coming on here and basically saying we had no right to complain. Totally agree with noblegiraffe.

I've never 'glowed'. And this is my third! Lol

People keep telling me I look well and my standard answer is 'I wish I felt it'

I hate being pregnant. I love the baby moving and scans, but other than that I wish the time away. I'm 35 weeks now and would like this LO to hurry up!

Watchagonna, smug pregnant ladies rubbing their bellies??? I have had a physically easy enough pregnancy until this week when I feel like I've been run over by a truck of tiredness (30 weeks). But I caught an infection that put my babies life at risk with resultant weeks of emotional trauma. So pregnancy can suck but feeling my baby move rocks and I reserve my rights to rub my belly whenever I damn well please without being thought a smug pregnant lady!!!

IF this thread had been posted on the Infertility or TTC board then you would have a point, Freya as it would've been very insensitive.

However, it wasn't. It's posted on the Pregnancy board. I highly doubt those who are struggling to conceive would be looking on here, unless they are just trying to make themselves feel worse.

This board is for Pregnant women to chat, laugh, cry, dance, bitch or moan.

Off you pop, there's a love.

freya I've read the thread again and can't find a single nasty thing said about you personally. One person said thank gawd you're leaving the conversation, which really isn't that harsh, and others just disagreed with you. But you're still entitled to your opinion and free to express it and answer criticisms of it.
You, on the other hand, described the comments of others as selfish and self-indulgent. If you can give it out, do you not think you should be able to take it too? If not, maybe online discussion forums aren't for you after all.
I think you're right, you maybe are more sensitive to it because of your friend and your sil. And maybe you try not to feel negative about pregnancy because that makes you feel guilty. But other people here, including myself, have acknowledged that it hasn't all been plain sailing for us, so we're not coming at this from a position of ignorance. I like mumsnet because you can admit to feeling the way you feel without judgement.

This is my fourth pregnancy and I am still waiting to start 'glowing''

I have constant utis, I throw up an hour after I've eaten, I wee 5 timed a night, walking hurts - I get a painful stitch, I have greasy hair, only 2 outfits so always feel like a tramp, my boobs hurt, my midwife is crap, and I just had the whooping cough jab yesterday and my arm hurts.

28 weeks.

watchagonna I rub my belly, not to be smug, mainly because there's a small person trying to escape from my stomach and it's uncomfy, or I feel sick and basically need to wind myself. Lol

Try not to feel bad, we don't all do it from a smug point of view, it's normally because we're feeling shit/down or whatever.

I feel the need to wade into the argument, I went through 2 years of TTC thinking I was infertile and spending a lot of that time totally gutted that I couldn't give my DH a baby. Yes it hurt when my friends all got pregnant, but I wasn't personally offended if they complained about heartburn or whatever, instead I tried to support them. Because quite a few of them had also been through infertility worries and MCs. Even though I've been through the infertility situation though, I agree whole heartedly that pregnancy sucks. There are some nice things obviously, like tiny kicks. but on the whole its 9 whole months of constant discomfort and anxiety. its not the pregnancy that we want though, it's the baby, the pregnancy is just a necessary stage to getting there. Like who really enjoys cleaning the house as much as they enjoy sitting back and relaxing in a clean house!

I am extremely grateful and know I am lucky to be pregnant.
But pregnancy has been bloody awful for me.
I have horrendous hyperemesis since mid August and although it is improving I'm still physically sick most days and feel sick most of the time.
Only 17 weeks.

for me pregnancy sucks BECAUSE i had a MC and was so scared it could end at any time. doesn't make me selfish / self-indulgent.

freya by your own admission your ride has been easy, you got pregnant easily and from what you have said have not suffered a MC so spare a thought for those that go through pregnancy just wanting it to get to the bit where you get an actual live baby and not constantly worrying that it could all just end.

and ... if you can give it you must take it!

Thanks for this thread!! It's nice to be able to have a safe place to complain where you don't have to pretend that pregnancy is the greatest thing since sliced bread.

I'm so glad to be expecting another baby but if I could skip the next 7 months or just spend them asleep... I'd take that option. Am currently 8 weeks and am so sick of being sick! So far this pregnancy is way worse than with DC1, I didn't realise how good I had it with that one! Bring on the second trimester please.

Also, just to give some small thought to what else is going on in this thread, I think it's actually very important to be able to complain and freely express your thoughts about pregnancy, even if they are negative ones. If we didn't express any of the negative feelings, that doesn't mean they wouldn't be there inside us, and we'd just all be a bunch of emotionally constipated people and no good can come of that.

Yes apache. Smug pregnant women rubbing their bellies and acting like they're Mother Earth annoy me. During the time I spent thinking I was infertile it seemed to me like showing off.

Aw I like it, it doesn't suck at all. Yes to broken sleep, feeling crap, being sick down myself in my sleep, piles... all of that, but somehow every time I feel a kick I forget the downsides. I'm happy

diddlediddledumpling worded it perfectly.

I'm not enjoying pregnancy and being told that I'm selfish & self indulgent is very narrow minded, I wasn't lucky enough to get pregnant easily, it's taken 3 years and just because I feel knocked off my feet with fatness, nausea, nosebleeds, hip pain, heart palpitations while working full time self employed in a job that requires me on my feet all day doesn't mean that I don't want my daughter very much.

And breathe

Can i have a little rant??

Am pregnant with dd 2 and the whole pregnancy has been totally hellish so far, have had a water infection every single month that anti biotics don't touch, had bladder retention that i had to self catheter at home after being in hospital for a week..

Have horrific pelvic girdle pain that i am waiting for crutches for

Am on my second bout of flu, dd 2.5 doesn't like to sleep at the minute as she's been diagnosed with asthma and coughs all night long.

Am 30 weeks nearly..you know what though even though i am in tears with pain & exhaustion every single day each time i feel the baby move or flutter it makes me smile and i forget about it all for a few minutes

I think I have just reached my lowest, most revolting level. I'm lying down out of exhaustion, I have acid reflux and just winded and it felt a bit 'wet' . Worst thing is my SPD is so painful I can't face moving as it all hurts so much!!

So good to hear fellow mumsnetters "enjoying" pregnancy as much as me

I absolutely love the squirming and the flutters and the kicks - couldn't be happier! It's just the sickness, the tiredness and the aching I have to endure to enjoy the movements. I totally agree with Skinny, "each time i feel the baby move or flutter it makes me smile and i forget about it all for a few minutes"

I also love the comment "means to an end". Yup - I will love my baby so much when s/he arrives but I don't have to like the process of pregnancy. I listened to what other mothers said who said they felt a bit sick, were a bit tired and a bit achy and thought "Oh that must be what it's like". Mumsnet is the only place I can truly be myself and not be judged (except by one or two of course but that's standard!!) and admit there are no kittens or rainbows in my house at the moment!

Twitchy I'm totally with you on the weird belly button too! I've got a mega 'inny' but it's almost turned into an outy - blerrrrrgh! And that seems to be the exact spot people decide to touch and there's a weird sensitive bit which makes me go 'blerrrrgh' if people touch it.

Since starting this thread I've discovered walking has escalated in painfulness which is a new "high"! dating - you made me giggle as my DH has just commented that I now sit in the car for five minutes on the drive when I get home. It's so I can work up the courage to take the pain and get in the house. I'll let you know when it gets to the stage that I can't face getting up when feeling 'wet'!

And rrreow sums it up perfectly:

"I think it's actually very important to be able to complain and freely express your thoughts about pregnancy, even if they are negative ones. If we didn't express any of the negative feelings, that doesn't mean they wouldn't be there inside us, and we'd just all be a bunch of emotionally constipated people and no good can come of that."

That's why people get ante/post natal depression. Because they struggle on and don't talk to anyone about how rubbish they're feeling and then they get depressed that they feel how they do, and feel like they shouldn't. Not talking to anyone doesn't make the negative feelings go away with depression so why would not talking about these negative experiences make them go away for us? So pleased I'm given the opportunity to air these to make me feel normal and less isolated

complain away OP, pregnancy no2 has been fine, but pregnancy no1 SUCKED! it S.U.C.K.E.D.

I don't think anyone would give you a hard time if they'd had a pregnancy like my first one!

Its stupid to think you can't be miserable about what the PREGNANCY is doing to you, while at the same time being totally utterly grateful for the BABY you are going to get at the end of it!