Fantastic 40+ Mum to be - part 2

[Hpbp]

Let's keep on chatting !
Awaiting to hear from you all.
Midget, how are you feeling after the sweep ?
Exexe, are you happy with the new kitchen ? Very glad to see you back on here.
Warm welcome to the only Dad we have on the thread, sorry I could not remember your name as I write this.
Have a lovely Monday. Pouring rain in Paris today.

Hi gemma good to meet you - this is the right place - morning sickness, bloating, headaches, hormones, crying at the news, nesting - it's all happening here.

yes hpbp if we directly address baby midget that might help. come on baby midget!

my dp is an entrepreneur and we are going through purgatory as he tries to fundraise for his company. there has been enough of a positive response - people seem to really rate his business plan - that we can't go 'ok this was a mistake lets go and do something else'. He's got to see it through. But hardly any money has actually been invested. i'm actually a key part of the business doing various key functions, my freelance work has dried up during my morning sickness and so i'm barely earning. it's like walking out into a ravine and hoping someone will put the bridge under our feet as we go.

I am stressed. On the bright side it's not new stress, his business is very exciting, he's happy doing it. But by god it's tough.

xxx

gemma welcome, this is a good place to be.

oldandcobwebby we could be having babies around the same time at this rate. Such a lovely post.

Thanks for the direct talk to the baby midget - he is still being stubborn. Regular Contractions all night again. Stopped once more. Bit of fresh blood this morning but not a show. Contractions much less regular now. Offered another sweep tomorrow before break waters on Tuesday. Don't know if I can handle anymore sleepless nights and false alarms, may better saving my energy for labour. Either way he should be in my arms by wednesday so excited and scared in equal measure. Sorry on phone so not proper catch up x

Hi somewherebecomingrain and knottyhair, it's great to meet you. One thing, this is my first so I have no idea what all these acronyms mean Is there a glossary anywhere?

I'm due on 14 March and won't know the gender until my next scan on 29th October, can't wait. It was all a huge surprise and I'm not with the father, but I made the decision to do this alone (he may decide to get involved once the little one is born, but I'm planning for that not to happen and then if he does get on board, it's a bonus). I'm utterly thrilled that I'm going to become a mum after years of not knowing if I wanted to or not, but I'm scared about how I'm going to make it work once the baby's born as I'll have to go back to work pretty soon after (I don't qualify for maternity pay). Thankfully I have a well paid job, but having to leave the baby is a horrible thought. Does anyone have any experience of that? My other question is around the birth. I would like to have an elective c section but the midwife is steering me along the natural birth route. Does anyone have any advice in this area?

So far, I've avoided morning sickness and the other usual symptoms (aside from tiredness) so I feel pretty lucky.

somewherebecomingrain I used to run my own business, it's very tough. You may already have this in hand, but if you need any marketing advice, particularly how to use social media, I'm happy to help.

Hello and welcome GemmaCatherine - you can find the acronyms here - www.mumsnet.com/info/acronyms

I sympathise re your work dilemmas - I have a DP but our living arrangements are still kinda separate and my living costs are quite high so will be returning to work probably sooner than I want to (am also self employed so not actually got any guarantee of securing work again). No real experience or advice so far though as still only 26 weeks!

Midget/OldandCobwebby/Exexe - you all seem to be having wednesday babies!!!! Wishing you all lots of love and luck, and hoping babies appear safely and reasonably swiftly on the big day.

HPBP/Exexe - I am currently looking at pushchairs/travel systems and think (although I could be wrong) that one or both of you have considered or bought the Baby Jogger GT? It is the one I think I want to buy, but frustratingly, no shop seems to stock it and am getting sick of looking at pictures of it online.

I have made a mental note of the BF discussions - lots of useful information there. I have medically interesting boobs thanks to pituitary disease and on the day I guess they will either work really well or not at all - let's see.

Hope you all enjoy the rest of the weekend

Quick name update from GemmaCatherine folks, I am now TheNoodles

Hello midgetm and eagleray ... thanks for the advice.

Just a very quick one, my iPad is running out of battery. Will do proper catch up when it is recharged.

Eagleray, I saw the BJ city mini at John Lewis but not the GT. I am no expert but the only difference between the 2 I guess is the tyres, isn't t ? I will check that and let you know. I might go for the BJ city mini GT as well or the Versa.

Hi all,

eagleray I've ordered a baby jogger versa gt which arrives in a couple of weeks, my sister has the city gt and loves it. let me know if I can help.

come on baby midget!

Waves managed to find the new thread first bubba baby born on 2nd october by c sectin after problem induction overactive pessary, epidural came out only checked after 2 hours of contractions every 2 mins

Baby Jamie born 9lb 2.5oz taken to special care the day after with an infection lumber puncture antibotics by cannula in hand/foot mum with infection also
Out of hospital after 10 days And trying to BF after being tube fed. Overwelmed to be home.

Thanks Seaside/Hpbp for the info - I went to John Lewis to look at the GT but they didn't have one, which was frustrating. The GT apparently has a bunch of improved features such as adjustable handlebar (DP is a foot taller than me!), handlebar-mounted brake and better storage. It's just annoying when you can't see the pushchairs for real and compare them.

I had a look at the carrycot for the GT too, and (based on my previous experience of carrycots being absolute zilch), I found it narrow, heavy and looked like it had the potential to look grubby really quickly. Thought I could use a carrycot for inside the house too, but not sure I would be lugging it up and down all my stairs (live in a stupidly tall house)

In other news, I went to put some socks on earlier and got the most godawful pains across my bump after bending over and ended up lying on the sofa like a dead beetle screaming in pain. I think my sock wearing days are over now!

Waves to all, but has to talk to firstbubba oh honey, sounds like you have had a really hard time glad you are both home now though. No wonder you are feeling a bit overwhelmed to be home. Keep the visitors down, and concentrate on feeding and bonding with your baby. We were all worried about you as we had not heard. Makes sense now x

noodles welcome and congratulations! I am not feeling particularly chatty tonight, but had to answer your questions. Have you looked into childcare and tax credits? You may find you are better off financially being off for a bit longer. Rotten you do not get paid. Are there any other benefits you can claim? And in relation to the section, I would always encourage any mum to try for a vaginal birth with their first. I had a traumatic time, so have had sections since, but you may pop them out like peas, and it is safer to try for a vaginal birth unless there are clear medical reasons to do otherwise. A complication though may be that medics are not too keen to let older mothers go overdue, although it is your body so you can insist on it. Induction does lead to the possibility of more interventions, but I would still recommend you try the natural route. Why are you wanting an ELCS?

hey firstbubba congratulations, and sorry you've had such a rough ride. We were in hospital for two and half weeks - I understand this will have been horrible for you. I agree with VQ, hole up together, do new family stuff and enjoy lovely new baby. come and talk on the grads thread for support

Have we had a VB on this thread yet? I get confused with who had what. I feel sad for mums who have not had the birth they wanted, as I guess it brings back memories for me. I know we have had a fair few sore tummy mummies. I know all that really matters is baby and mum are safe, but I still feel a bit sad. Is that daft? Just the bloody hormones! I feel like shit today

Sending love and congratulations to firstbubba - sorry you had such an awful time - am so glad you have baby Jamie home at last.

VQ - sorry you are feeling sad (sends hugs). I was wondering if anyone had had a VB as was getting a bit worried that EMCS would end up being my only option and can see there were a couple of VBs on the very first 40+ thread.

You are right - the only thing that matters is the safety of mother and baby, but I have gone from feeling in the early days that I have a choice to now seeing induction then CS as almost inevitable. I feel really silly even talking to anyone about homebirth now but think I will still join the local group and get information so that at the very least if I didn't have to be induced I could feel comfortable at home up until the point I went into hospital.

I will also speak to the MW when I next see her to see what she thinks - I live in an area where apparently 40 is the new 30 and so she may be able to estimate what the odds are of me having any choices at all!

With an induction a CS is not and should not be inevitable though. Thank you for the hugs. Just had a good chat with DH which has helped a bit.

I know it shouldn't be inevitable, but my neighbour kindly shared her birth horror story with me the other day and she said that once they start monitoring you after induction starts they will do a CS at the drop of a hat to cover their backs (her words!)

Anyway, I will resume positive thoughts about the whole thing - prepare for the worst and hope for the best!

Has everything settled down since the show/nesting/pains on Thurs/Fri?

Firstbubba, very glad to hear from you and relieved that you and baby are home. Don't feel bad, sad nor guilty about birth, it s over now and the most important thing is that both of you are well. Take it easy and allow yourself some time to establish BF if it is what you want. If not, formula or combined feeding are also solutions to consider. There is a new thread for graduates under Being a parent, Parenting, fantastic 40+ mums, we hope to have you in the post birth discussions !
VQ, I can't remember if FF had a VB but you are right, it seems that 99% of us have gone through CS, why is that ? I mean, some have medical conditions and have to go through ELCS, but we had lots of EMCS too. Is it linked to age ? Or induction ? I was afraid of CS, especially the post surgery pain and must admit I was relieved when told that baby could be smaller than average, deep inside I thought that as long as baby could come out naturally I would be grateful. I did take very seriously the birth preparation courses, trying to fully understand how to push and breathe and the MW I had over 8 sessions was truly brilliant, explaining over and over which positions would help preparing the body for VB. I think that if I had opted to wait for Anastasia to decide, I might not have had a VB without instrument. She was born at 39+2, weighing 3.020 kg, so not so small eventually. God knows how big she would have been if I had not have the sweep and left until 42 weeks...? Her brother was only 300 gr heavier but I had forceps so I was determined this time to get her out without these instruments. And I was lucky everything went smoothly and the birth was quite straight forward.
Noodles, oh yes leaving baby to childcare is horrible, at least for the mum and the first weeks until baby settles in. It is heart breaking. I can still see myself crying when leaving the nursery for DS1 3 years ago. The only advice is make sure you are 300% happy with the childcare provider you choose. If you are confident, baby will feel confident and settle in better. You will feel guilt but we all do. Life work balance is hard to achieve but you will.

VQ, wish you a better day tomorrow.

Eagle, towards the end of my first pg, I had to get DH to put my socks and boots on as it was October. I just could not bend, because I had a belly of the size of a whale, no kidding, I am sure the extra 16 kg I had put on then were located in the tummy only ! Very lucky this time to have a summer baby. :)

If you remember, FF advised to take Raspberry leaves and Evening Primrose Oil or Sage to help start labour. I did so only 2 weeks before giving birth. I don't know if it worked but one sweep only and I went into labour in less than 12 hours. I also had osteopathy.
I thought I would just remind that as lots of us fear induction.
Good night.

Thank you Hp wise words as usual.

midget thinking of you tonight.

I can still put socks on, cut my toe nails etc, so pretty chuffed.

Thanks Hpbp and Valium. Ill have a good look into benefits, but I have a feeling I will have to work. You're right, I need to be 300%+ sure about the childcare, it may be a long search

I'm after the ELCS as my mother had two awful births and I guess it's put the fear of god into me. I guess I'll have to see how things are closer to the time, the baby or my health may dictate what needs to happen.

Reading you guys I feel utterly under prepared. But I guess at 17 weeks I still have time

noodles at 17 weeks, the reality of a baby is a long way away, but once you get to 20 weeks, then viability at 24 weeks, it really speeds up, and before you know it you are feeling twinges and wondering if this is it!!! I personally think childcare is a really good thing for mummy and baby, but ideally not until baby is at least 6 months old, especially if breast fed. Hopefully your child's father will be a 'man' about it and support you both financially to some extent. You may also be suprised what help there is benefits wise whe off work and also when you go back, but obviously it depends on your individual circumstances. Try not to worry about everything at once, for example your birth choice and feeding options can afford to wait a while. I would look at my finances first, then start exploring childcare options, and consider whether you may indeed be better off working part time, at least for a while. Can your family help with childcare? What about the dad? Either financially or practically? There is always the CSA. Just because you are not together, he still has responsibilities as a father.

But at the moment, try to enjoy being pregnant, first kick, scans, movements, growing bump etc. you have waited a long time, and ultimately you will not starve or be homeless, even if you do have to change your lifestyle considerably.

I slept really well, thankfully. Feeling a bit better about things today.

Go midget ! Looking forward to your news x

Midget, hope the sweep will entice baby to come and see its new world. Thinking of you. Take care. Hope birth will be as painless as possible.
VQ, glad you had a good night sleep.
Have a wonderful week every one

Oldandcobwebby - wishing you lots of luck for Wednesday. Hope you enjoyed your last weekend alone together!

Somewhere feeling your pain. DH was made redundant a year before DS arrived, and remained unemployed until 4 months before DS was born. Not quite the same sit as yours, but was tough and diff not to get stressed, but I forced myself not to get dragged down by it ? I knew we?d get it sorted somehow or other.

Come on now Baby Midget! Time to meet the world!!Or have you appeared now?

TheNoodles - I have no experience of leaving a young baby, but I think if you find a nanny you like and trust you should be ok. If you plan on BFing and it works, then co-sleeping should give you a good nights sleep. Re ELCS ,the MW will steer you towards the natural route. It?s cheaper!! You need to push (so to speak) for an ELCS!! This is despite the new NICE guidelines which says ELCS should be available to all women. If you are genuinely phobic (hint hint) and also argue that, as you are single, you are more in control and therefore better able to look after your baby after CS, then you might be able to swing it. I was told I could have one if I wanted but never pursued it as fancied water birth. Your Mum?s experiences shouldn?t necessarily be yours though. Or see VQs post for an alternative point of view!! Actually, I didn?t have the balls, so to speak, to ask for an ELCS. But, whether it?s childcare, or childbirth, you have plenty of time to get things sorted, and Mumsnet is a brilliant place to read up on bits and pieces as you go. VQ?s right ? take the time to enjoy your pregnancy. It is a special time. You might find it helpful to join a thread for those due in March like you ? though sometimes they get a little crowded and I felt it wasn?t the right place to discuss things related to my age. One last thing, babies needn?t cost a lot. I have a brilliant charity shop near me ? got the Moses basket there for £20, Primark do brilliant basics, and maybe you?ll get lucky with people giving you stuff. And as soon as I stopped working in the City my weekly expenses dropped massively. God, I?m really excited for you!! Can you tell???

VQ -you are right to feel sad for those who do not have the births they planned. It can lead to post-natal depression. Have to say physically I was fine after CS. Barely felt any pain at all. But how are you feeling now? Sorry to hear you?re feeling a bit down.

firstbubba congrats on making it home in the end. Another graduate! Sorry it was such a horrible experience. Hope you are ok and being looked after well? The MWs kept a close eye on me afterwards (prob to stop me complaining!!) ? daily visits mainly due to v high BP, but also about just to chat a bit until I?d got whole thing out of my mind. I had failed epidural too ? tube out ? no real pain relief for three hours! Awful.

Awww, eagle - I did some good upside-down- beetle impressions when I was preggers too. Slip on shoes are the way forward!! BTW, EMCS is not inevitable. Does depend on the hospital though.

Love to all. XXX

crazyforbaby DC6? Blimey, I'm in awe!

firstbubba Many congratulations on littlebaby , I'm glad you're all safely home now. I hope things go smoothly for you now.

eagleray I was getting pains putting on my socks too. I've now found a new method that works, sitting down with knees two feet apart and resting one ankle on the opposite knee. I figure that'll be possible for the next month or two after which DP will be responsible for my socks!

VQ hugs to you, I'm glad you're feeling better now.

I had a bit of an emotional meltdown on Sunday afternoon and ended up curled up crying on the sofa, fortunately DP found me and hugged me until I was feeling better. I think I'm just trying to do too much at the moment between work, wedding and baby.

Baby 1/5 engaged, cervix soft and short, still 2cms. Last chance motel. May make poor DH have sex later if I can face it after 3 sweeps. They want to break my waters tomorrow. Which I am now not sure about but really want this baby out. Anyone had this as a first form if induction? They say i don't need the pessary as so favourable already....Contractions started not log after sweep but died down. Now back ache and huge pressure, like the head could just drop out. Hope it does! Also had a little nap and want to clean te skirting boards. Please let this be it!