Fantastic 40+ Mum to be - part 2

[Hpbp]

Let's keep on chatting !
Awaiting to hear from you all.
Midget, how are you feeling after the sweep ?
Exexe, are you happy with the new kitchen ? Very glad to see you back on here.
Warm welcome to the only Dad we have on the thread, sorry I could not remember your name as I write this.
Have a lovely Monday. Pouring rain in Paris today.

calibee fingers crossed that the next scan they see everything better and give you a better idea...not knowing is the worst xxx

bbd Quelle grosse petasse, and may I add poufiasse and conasse! I am breathing deeply, and know that she is doing this because I am pg, because DH has been getting close to his kids again, and because she knows am about to go to the tribunal....

Eagle gosh, you're getting close. I will avoid the ex like the plague, and so far is just monitoring...so OK....

Riverside the app sounds fantastic if only I had the tech to support it...have broken Youview box after only 2 weeks....

somewhere might be easier to forget her if she didn't live round the corner in a small town and to ignore her if she wasn't 6'2''and 30 stone a very large woman who goes everywhere I do....

I've made an appointmet for tomorrow with ante-natal doctor at my practice, as someone was talking to on Mumsnet was at the other hospital in our PCT, really young, and was given Nuchal/combined....

Good luck with getting your own place...we're still renting and it's just so insecure....

Thanks for the Traybake offer Scarecrow - I have been disgusting with the maltesers tonight but hope to have capacity for more tomorrow. Hope you are suitably rested after your long day at work.

Somewhere - well done on the swimming! I was going to swim every day once I had finished work and feel like I've let myself down as really don't feel up to it now. It is a great exercise though, especially when the physical issues of pregnancy kick in. And great news regarding your money! Your DP is very lucky to have someone so on the ball. I went through my paperwork mountain today and managed to fill a bin and then set about trying to gain access to an account I use to pay domestic bills (I normally chuck a sum of money in there and all the DDs come out) but have had issues with the passwords so haven't actually looked at it for a long time. Managed to log in and was over the moon to see that I have been overpaying by a small amount each month and it has really accumulated, so got a nice buffer zone there for unexpected bills over the next few months.

I hope your mum's chemo goes well. I only know a little bit about it from a friend/colleague who got breast cancer just after having a baby. She had good days and bad days depending on where she was in the cycle of treatment and with each cycle she felt a little worse each time, but never felt as bad as she imagined she would. I think just as hard were the psychological impacts, eg loss of hair, feeling 'on display' in a large office etc but on the whole she got through it amazingly. Obviously your mum's experience will be different (as is everyone's) but I imagine the ups/downs nature of it will be the same.

I think I will sleep upright in the virtual lounge tonight - really dreading bed/sleep as it will be the usual nightmares and cracking bones every time I turn over. I did have a moment of hilarity in bed last night though - was rubbing bio oil over my bump and suddenly this extremity (hand/foot - not sure which) made itself known next to my belly button and was frantically poking its way through, making a slightly scary shape - maybe she is ticklish?

eagle yes - it's us women with our cautious attitude to life who end up with this extra cash! Am trying to tell my DP this and he won't give me the satisfaction of letting me finish the sentence. Thanks for the advice on chemo - luckily my mum is retired so doesn't have to go into work. Sorry you felt down over the weekend - you have lost your dad recently and now you are going through another of life's biggest transitions - if I was you I can honestly say I would be in a heap on the floor so you are doing amazingly. I can't wait to join you on the other side - I guess you'll be a bit busy for pregnancy chatter after the baby comes! By then you'll be giving me advice.

badmissm that does sound like le merde - quelle salope (is that too strong?). I hope you can get some psychological distance then. I always find the trick with people like this is to gradually examine each and every thing you need from them and gradually eliminate it. Once you dont need anything from them they have nothing over you. It's hard, perhaps impossible at this stage but in time it should be possible???

scarecrow presents sounds good. I don't think i could be as organised as you to structure it around treatments but yes, presents. Just got to think about what my dippy, otherworldly mother actually likes (she's very unmaterialistic). Re what i'm going to do differently - deffo go on formula feed if DC2 is a bad sleeper - forget all this sentimentality about breastfeeding i need my sleep. Other than that i'm a complete attachment parenter - I can't do Gina Ford for the life of me. The lounge is coming along nicely - i'm about to have my daily expresso (topped up with milk into a latte). Maybe we could have a log fire too while it's still coldish.

ps scarecrow are you one of three sisters? Do you have any bros?

somewhere That doesn't sound too strong....salope has ofetn been employed by me in private. If I win this stupid tribunal I'm hoping to put the English Channel between us and her by going back to France for good .

She can't let go, even though DH and I have been together for three years and she has a new b/f (she's had a couple, but this one serious). She seems to want some kind of vengeance, with DH left with nothing. She got everything in the divorce (he had three binbags after 20 years of marriage), house, car, all our friends, everything. Now she wants him to live in a hole and eat dirt....she knows damn well he has no assets and earns hardly anything....

bbm hubby's ex sounds like a bloody nightmare . Why can't these type of people just bugger off ? I never understand people like them. They seem so intent on making lives as hellish as possible and usually just because they are so damn bitter to see their ex happy again. On a much more positive note, lovely re the overpaying of bills giving you a nice buffer zone for a few months. How did the appointment go at the GPs today? Is there any hope of a nuchal scan/combined blood test?
somewhere god yes, definitely FF this time if needs be for sanity and sleep levels. I remember feeling terribly guilty about FF last time, but this time I'm inclined to think sod it, if BF makes me feel terribly fed up, then why do it? Certainly baby won't benefit from a wrecked emotional mum.

Hope your mum's chemo goes well this week. Just a rotten business all round, but cross fingers any nasty side effects will be short-lived. Lovely to hear you are better off financially than you thought you were after sorting out your tax bits and pieces - couldn't come at a better time with LO on her way.
cali what a bloody nightmare for you. God, I hope that in 2 weeks time you'll get the news that you so deserve. Sending you lots of hugs. Take care of yourself please.
scarecrow malteser traybake?? Sounds yum! Please can I have the recipe if you get the chance? And agree with somewhere a log fire would be lovely in the lounge as I hear things are about to get colder London and the South East way (there's talk of snow next week......the only positive out of this is that it could mean no transport....therefore no work.....this may be clutching at straws but here's hoping.....)
eagle 38+3? Those last couple of weeks are so tiring - you must just want to get on with things now (though preferably wait until DP has finished his work which is 2.5 hours away......) A sweep got things going a treat with me and DD last time, so fingers crossed it'll be the same for you. Think sweeps tend to be more successful depending on how close you are to going into labour naturally and they should be able to tell you this after the sweep.
Waves to remnant, bbd, river.

I'm feeling less achey today though my back is still terribly painful. Had a bit of a row with DH last night about the housework. On the days that he looks after DD, I seem to have to do a lot of clearing up - the dishwasher needs emptying, the kitchen needed a hoover because of all the bits which had fallen on the floor from their cake-making session and there's a stack of washing up which needs to be dealt with. He's brilliant with DD, but after a long day at work I just would like to get back to a semi-reasonably tidy home. Plus it's me who seems to notice the bin needs emptying or the milk is running out....ooh, I'm on a roll now......why don't men notice these things??

Knicky, men never do notice. They can't do multitasking. That is unfortunately down to women. It is the same for me, DH loves DCs but if he gives a bath, I have a swimming pool to deal with, kitchen and dining room are food war zones...
Wave to all

BBD/Knicky - hmm.. I still reckon men are cr@p at most things in the hope that they won't be asked again! Sorry you are both finding men useless - I feel your pain. I kind of find it easier on my own as there are less clothing items on the floor, less washing up, less crumbs on the lounge floor etc. Oh, and I get the maltesers to myself...

I have had quite a productive day today - went out and had a pedicure, which was lovely - sat in a nice comfy armchair on a pedestal and had my feet washed, scrubbed, massaged and hacked around with tools while I was served cappuccino and pain au chocolat! My feet really appreciated it as they have been extremely neglected of late. Then I went round the supermarket and did a big shop (including ingredients for a monster batch risotto cooking session) Tired now, but thankfully not in nearly as much pain as yesterday.

Also ordered a maternity bra and washable wipes kit for the baby's bum. Both items tres expensive but quite excited about their arrival. Where did my life go to?

Eagle, well done, a pedicure is very nice indeed ! it is a good idea to cook batches and freeze in smaller portions! Enjoy these last weeks, the kicks, the time to yourself. Let us know how the sweep goes tomorrow.

eagleray ashamed now, think you're doing more than me and you're so much further on. As for men...spent a long time alone with me and DD after left idiot ex-h. But love DH even though he has habits that infuriate me to hell and can't multitask (once made the mistake of letting him do a roast dinner....no idea of order, so some bits raw and some cremated...he can cook other things though!)

Waves to bbd and agrres with her!

knicky I wouldn't mind, but she has her own house, (we are renting by skin of our teeth) posh car, (we have crappy second hand one held together with string) good job,(I'm unemployed (&the main wage-earner) and DH has a crap job) and new b/f who earns 3 x as much as DH (and works for the ex-employers that persecuted me...)...and she STILL wants more....

As for FF vs BF...did a mixture of both with DD and she's fine....I'm not going to be precious about it.

As for log fires, yes please. We're getting webbed feet here by the sea, and I've forgotten what sunshine looks like...wish we would get snow!

Been to GP today. Not a hope in hell of any combined test unless I want to travel to Leeds or Manchester and pay for it. Also asked re: cyst they 'found' the other day, and not a hope in hell of getting them to have another look on a machine they can see on or to be referred. Just got told 'it's probably nothing'... Am in lots and lots of joint pain...came of loads of medication at my BFP...just told 'you have to put up with it'. So utterly pointless visit. I'm going to go and rob a bank and go private . Or just squat somewhere near civilisation down south

right - that's the risotto cooked - who would like some? I have made 9 portions in my cauldron!

BadMissM - don't be ashamed at all - this is the first time I have had the time/felt inclined to do stuff like this during my pregnancy! I'm a little scared of relying on DP to go shopping when the baby is here as he tends to bring back rubbish from the reduced counter, regardless of what we need in the house, nutritional value etc. My work is done now - also have some veg chilli plus 6kg of lentil dahl frozen!

DP will be great with the baby though - I know he will be fascinated by her, will love her and will never get bored of spending time with her, regardless of the mess they will make together

Sorry you have had a shite time at the docs. I had to come off meds immediately I got my BFP too, but have been very lucky that tests show there's been no adverse effects. V sorry you have the joint pain to contend with as well as pregnancy symptoms. And as for the regional variations regarding combined testing - I just don't get it really. Am so glad you were able to get to the FMC but it is so rubbish that the care you get depends on where you live

11h shift today: grumpy with tiredness & hunger :(
Oh, the fire is lovely. And eagle I adore risotto...which flavour? I think we need a French dictionary: my nice girls' school did not include insults in the curriculum! I've got an unopened panettone in my bag if anybody fancies a slice... I presume there is a baby whispering sleep nursery me t door so we are undisturbed

DD finally went down on her own by 7 last night and didn't call us til the "sun up" on her Gro-clock at 6.05 (except for a nightmare at 11ish and losing her duvet at 5 but no fuss or demands). Bless her little toddler heart :)))

BadMiss do you have SPD. As others know am slightly obsessed with you demanding treatment including specialist Physio. Poor you.

Eagle a sweep tmrw? How exhilarating and terrifying! I don't know why I think that though as the nano second DD came into the world I felt calm and besotted and all was right in the world. Now I envy you :) Inspired by your cooking too. We're busy emptying freezer to defrost so can refill. Luckily DH is a keen and super tasty cook. Just love idea of LO poking a ticklish baby foot at you :) Will go to sleep dreaming of it...

Somewhere am eldest of 3 sisters (can you tell?!) They got on and had (5) kids before me though. Gap was biggish to me and #2, 4 yrs, but we are all great friends now - I am very very blessed. No brothers. And all girls school!
Your mum sounds just lovely. What an inspiring role model. Does she read the Guardian too?! ;) I will be thinking of you and your family a lot tomorrow and hope it at leasts starts gently.

Knicky will chase Traybake recipe for us all. Also sympathise re DH and jobs, though with a mix of gentle campaigning and losing my rag he has improved over the years. He is pretty amazing, but it irks me I think like that because I still do at (very) least half housework, all house admin, most shopping, majority of childcare and bring in half our income and a bit, plus commute 2.5 hrs a day to his 40mins - and it would never occur to him to think I was pretty amazing!! I agree with eagle too that the wh

Whole hunter-gatherer single-focus mularkey is a big excuse and women are in danger of letting them off the hook with it.
To make you smile DH once told me his mind was "too highly tuned" to remember when the bins go out. And it was only half a joke...I have taken the puss out of him for years about it. He now remembers bins most weeks!

Okay I'm going to curl up in my armchair in the lounge and if you'll excuse me ladies I'd like to put on my headphones and revel in the new Bowie song. Have been looking forward to it all day :)

Er "taken the piss" out of DH

"Too highly tuned"?? Gosh they do come out with some sh1te don't they! I do feel a bit sorry for DP sometimes though - he is apparently v intelligent (pHD, blah, blah) but his brain seems to have a lot of unconnected wires and often the simplest of tasks are beyond him...

I made mushroom risotto! And had a little glass of leftover wine from the recipe too!

Things have taken a rather odd turn in the last few minutes or so... had a very strange pain in my lower back, which was followed a few mins later by a very definite all over lower pain which went on for quite a while then stopped

It could be nothing - really not expecting baby to make an appearance this early (only going by the fact that mum and sister had all their babies at term and was only 3/5 engaged on Friday) but slightly alarming to be home alone, late at night and wondering what is going on! Have texted DP to make sure he doesn't turn his bloody phone off or get pissed tonight...

Like I say, probably nothing but let's see what happens!

scarecrow not a clue if I have SPD... have spent last 7 years here trying to get them to pin a diagnosis on constant neuro pain (prob Fibromyalgia) I have... also have joint pain. Have gone round in giant circles with no tests... so finding out I have anything here should be fun....!

BF here (also slightly obsessed with SPD) is threatening to go with me to see consultant on Thursday and demand specialist Physio!

I also went to nice girls' school where we didn't learn any rude French words, but my sweary French ex-husband made sure I did....

My DH is so 'unattuned' to the bins he managed to leave our only one out until it was stolen by the neighbours...he now uses this as excuse for mulitple visits to the tip...WHY?

eagleray They were bad enough re the pain before the BFP, now they seem to think they have carte blanche to shrug their shoulders and say 'what can we do'?

Ooh, keep us posted!!

Oh eagle how are you?? Will not be able to concentrate at work... Everything I read of you makes me feel your LO will be blessed with a wonderful mummy and have inspiration, love and laughter in their life.

Sorry - after all that, not a twinge all night! I feel like the little boy who cried wolf now..

Waiting at surgery now for mw appt - and a possible sweep!

DP has just texted - to tell me his cough is better today - no inquiry after my health at all just as well I have you wonderful ladies for support

eagle plus ca change! It's like a goddam loop - I seem to remember the October ladies talking this way. I pulled out my anecdote about being horribly overdue and dp inviting mates over just as I thought something was happening - and it stopped immediately and the rest is history - failed induction c section etc. anyways glad your dp has his priorities right - the father often gets overlooked in these situations amidst all this ridiculous fuss about the mother and baby. You are on course for a textbook birth in terms of all that (he'll probably be brilliant!)

scarecrow I am one of 3 sisters. The youngest. I get that yacking sister vibe from you but I guess I do from all the ladies here
So wouldn't have guessed. Sadly my middle sister is v strange - severe personality disorder, prob in her chromosomes like autism, and we have no contact since my eldest sis and I started having babies. Luckily eldest sis is v cool and one of my best friends. Being one of 3 girls has been v formative for me

Xxxx

Waves to others - sending out fresh baked whole meal rolls
For lunch hot from oven for consumption with lattes by log fire,

Xxx

Ps had proper grown up
Insomnia last night - anyone else? Is it a pg thing?

Ooh eagle let us know how you get on with your sweep and please don't feel like the boy who cried wolf....I remember all too well several times that I thought things may be kicking off and they didn't. It's probably too late for my word of warning, but after my sweep I felt like I had period pains and just wanted to wear a pair of trackie bottoms and watch trash on TV. The period pain feeling was replaced by contractions about 12 hours later . And as for DP not inquiring about you, that'd be par for the course from mine too. I just don't think they think. In any case I'm glad his cough is feeling better.......!
bmm flipping heck, I just can't believe your surgery - you must be feeling reassured...... For what it's worth I do think the cyst thing will be OK, but it'd be nice for them to do a couple of simple investigations to give you the reassurance that you could do with right now. Plus, not loving the sound of that joint pain. You poor thing. Is there any chance of a referral to a physiotherapist? (I know this is probably unlikely given the useless bunch of feckers at your surgery.......)
scarecrow I think you're amazing! That's such a lot to do with a lengthy commute on top. Last night I got home to see DH tidying up after himself and he bathed DD so think I got the message across. I'm not one to say woe is me, but I do think that men just don't seem to get that being pregnant is not easy on us and that cutting just a little slack when it comes to housework would be appreciated so much. BTW heard the new Bowie tune and loved it!

My mat leave will start as of Mon 18th Feb, unfortunately I was told yesterday there's a meeting I'll need to attend on the Friday 22d Feb here at work, one that I can't get out of and will take most of the day, gutted but it can't be helped. Thankfully as I work in a medical school which is attached to a hospital that if anything does start happening I should be able to get to a maternity ward within 5 minutes flat!

Feeling the need for a caramel latte this morning in the lounge - best make it a skinny one. I also fancy an almond croissant though that always makes such a mess of my top, I'll be dusting off icing sugar from my clothes for the rest of the day (and finding bits of pastry done my cleavage).

somewhere yes my love have had the insomnia thing both in this pregnancy and the last one - had it much worse with my DD though. Combined with a bit of restless leg syndrome which I get when I'm overtired, it makes me a very miserable lady the next day. The only thing that seems to work when I have insomnia is to watch something dull on TV and it can usually work a treat (no offense to anyone who likes these films but just the opening credits to Lord of the Rings can make me drift off within minutes )

Hello everyone, sorry I just cant keep up with all your news. But do think of you all ! Just wanted to say to Eagleray that your body must have started its rehearsals for the D day. Don't worry, sweet. You are so well prepared and ready, hope the sweep goes well today. Keep us posted.
Boobs massive today, LO has been sleeping like a charm, 7/7, who can complain ? But they are so full that they are almost painful... Again, I am not complaining about big boobs, this will be the only time of my life I need a bra :)

Back home now! Thanks for all your kind words.

Sweep went ok - it was interesting as it's the first time I've had any information about what is happening 'up there' - apparently cervix is soft and ripe and 'left sided anterior' and baby is very low. I think all in all it means that things are definitely progressing, and the attempt at a sweep may be enough to get things moving.

Somewhere - at your take on DP and his bloody cough! His lack of enquiry after me is a bit of an issue in our relationship - but the way he sees it, he doesn't feel the need to ask as he knows I will contact him if there is a problem. And he probably thought I would be pleased for the update on his cough as he knows I was concerned about it. So his approach makes perfect sense even if he comes across as a total dick in the process

The rolls sound lovely - I have got my feet up already and will put in an order for one!

Knicky - that's very encouraging to hear about the sweep you had, although I won't be too disappointed if things don't progress today as it all seems to be getting close to kicking off anyway. I haven't had any pains yet, but am in comfy clothes and propped up on velvet feather cushions watching all the usual daytime telly crap. I will keep an eye out for pains later on - was thinking about going out for a walk this afternoon as it's a lovely sunny day but maybe I won't wander too far...

BadMissM - I have heard of fibromyalgia before as used to work in health many years ago - from what I can recall, it is one of those things that can play havoc with your life but is very hard to diagnose. Poor you

Scarecrow - that's a very lovely thing to say about my potential mummy skills! All I can hope really is that she likes me and doesn't mind being taken on a few little adventures!

BBD - great news that Anastasia has been sleeping so well. Enjoy the giant boobies!