Fantastic 40+ Mum to be - part 2

[Hpbp]

Let's keep on chatting !
Awaiting to hear from you all.
Midget, how are you feeling after the sweep ?
Exexe, are you happy with the new kitchen ? Very glad to see you back on here.
Warm welcome to the only Dad we have on the thread, sorry I could not remember your name as I write this.
Have a lovely Monday. Pouring rain in Paris today.

Eagleray, your friend is quite right, it is a zoo with 2 ! Don't say yet you only have one ! Some of us are trying for a second, I kid you not. They are so brave, I am in awe.

Riverside, hope you will get some rest, you have been through rough time lately.

eagleray bbd I also said it would never happen again after last time.... I seriously though this was the menopause!!!! If it can happen at 45....!

BadMissM, have I mentioned to you that I contacted NHS and asked for agreement to give birth abroad ? with that I went to see the French Securite Sociale who then gave me their ok to use in their hospital, I chose a private clinic so everything on top of what the SS reimburses was for me (depassement d honoraires) but MW, epidural, 4 days in hospital were paid for by the SS.

Somewhere, I am so sorry, I got confused re books for kid regarding arrival of siblings, the second book I mentioned is actually in French, "et apres, il y aura..." by Jeanne Ashbe ! Stupid me. But that being said, it is very simple and has beautiful drawings, you can understand and read it with a minimum knowledge of French. See it as a way to introduce French to your DC1 !!! :)

Off to bed now if I want to keep my skin fresh and young looking ! DH offered me a facial mask with oat, banana and vanilla to moisture the skin... Post pg, my skin has gone so dry and itchy, yuk, almost painful. It is so lovely, I could eat it.

BBD - your mention of the French book reminds me of when I babysat for my friend's 'zoo' of DD1 and DD2 recently (aged 2 and 5). Had problems getting them to go to bed (DD2 was out of bed and down the stairs as soon as her parents had left the house). So I said they could choose one book and I would read it to them in bed as long as they promised to stay there. So they go and find a book in bloody French!! (there are a few in the house as their grandmother lives in France). I really struggled with it, but luckily they are too young to know my pronounciation is terrible!

Eagle, my friends have the same pb in my house, obviously because DS is at nursery in a 100% British environment and also because our English pronounciation is not perfect, we use French at home, so there is a good chance that he picks a French book for my visitors to read, this is when DS hears swear words !!!

LOL at the French books confusions! I shut DD's hands in car boot other day: sickening but she is fine ...I called it a "doi-doi" because that's one of the family words we grew up with but is originally Portuguese. My thought it was funny she would grow up thinking it was an English word...it also makes you realise how adaptable they are. I often say "allez y" when trying chivvy us out of the door, and she has copied that too.
I will investigate the French book. I can still make sense of French newspapers and mags so should be able to muddle through. Thanks bbd.
I really want to learn Arabic and am actually holding off til I think DD might be old enough to do with me. Given it will not be a bilingual experience I was thinking age six, but need to research better.
A bientot

Bbd, Did you also have "et dedans il y a..."?

Am liking the sound of another book by author: "La nuit, on dort" :)

scarecrow [smiles]
bbd apres il y a sounds good - trust the French! I do speak a bit so might check it out though it's tricky to get French language books on the uk. You are sounding much 'frencher' in the way you write than you used to - its lovely

Xxx

oh yes meant to say riverside that's is great that your LO is kicking so much. I am doing the kick count partly to occupy my mind - gives me something to pore over and analyse in dull moments. Sounds like you don't need it!

Scarecrow there will be 4 years difference between my two - i think i will avoid some of the intensity of two preschoolers which is good knowing my limitations. But then i will have eight years overall of preschooler world! I do think there are good reasons to have them closer together. It's an interesting point. What about everyone else? what gap do you have and is it by accident or design?

xxx

See Somewhere, this is exactly why we do not communicate in English at home ! We want DCs to speak English as if they were native.
You should be able to find on Amazon French books, if not, you can always borrow mine. Don't think I will need it anymore, hum hum.
3.9 y gap between my DCs, just like you. DH was happy with one but DS was so perfect that I wanted a second... Actually, I come from a big family, I am number 9 out of 10 and wanted DS to have someone to share joys and worries when we won't be here anymore ! We took our time because DS is not a good sleeper, I would not have coped with 2 bad sleepers, amazingly Anastasia is an Angel baby or I am a better mum :) Either way, they are wonderful kids, as perfect as I could have dreamt.
Enjoy this cloudy Sunday. Off to bake a galette des rois (a king cake ? Epiphany cake ? How do you translate in English ?)

bbd Galette des Rois? Epiphany crown? Giant epiphany frangipane? I have agreement of DH that although this child has him as a father I can make the LO bilingual...Luckily still have lots of DD's French books from her childhood, but will be on the lookout for more....

hello all,

I recognise some of your names after spending a few months on the over 40s conception thread. Nice to be here, but also a bit surreal, and I'm sorry that Jbrd has already gone back there.

I got a bfp on Friday. I'm 43 and have DS who was born when I was 40. He went two weeks overdue, and technically induced, but thankfully a fairly straight forward followed after first pessary. This time due early September, in theory.

Wondering if anyone here can remind me what to do next. As far as I remember the medical profession isn't really interested until you're at least 8 weeks. Is that right? Is there any point in me going to gp next week? Would it be useful to have them register the pregnancy now in case I do miscarry? Is there anything they can do to help avoid that?

Nice to meet you all anyway.
x

eagleray / BBD I'm just 37 weeks so now I'm dreading the sudden appearance of stretchmarks at 38 weeks, so far nothing, scary that they can arrive overnight.

Calibee Good luck with the scan tomorrow, I'll be thinking of you.

somewhere If you are counting the kicks how do you account for hiccups? A couple of weeks ago LO had several sets a day at least, and they could go on for twenty minutes or more.

Badmiss if we go for a DC2 I'll be likely to be 45, so you give me hope, thanks!

somewhere My 50 things before 50 list only started last year, as a follow up to my 40 festivals in my 40th year, which was a complete blast. I had the 50 things idea before it got serious with DP and we decided to try for a DC, so I think it'll be tough to pull off now. Still fun to try though.

Babywise things seem to be well. LO is moving nicely, sinking slowly further down, and letting me sleep most nights. Walking is a little uncomfortable now, everything down under gets very squished, but I'm still trying to keep active and do an hour's walking a day. The hope being the more active I keep the more active I can be during birth and the shorter the labour will be. Fingers crossed, it's a nice theory anyway.

On the downside I had a tough evening yesterday. The film we were watching turned out to have a main theme of an elderly lady coping with the death of her life partner. Just too raw for me at the moment. DP had to switch it off and cuddle me until I could stop crying. But in general I'm having more good days than bad now.

Galette des rois, I know what that is, I thought smugly excitedly...it's Bolo dos Reis, of course....except that's Portuguese. Giving away a bit tmi by referencing Portuguese twice, but get tired of editing personal info. Both my parents from UK but spent much of my childhood in Portugal. Never thought to translate it - I can now add this to list of words I know what they mean but can't find English equivalent. Some are a loss to English frankly.
Funnily (or maybe not so as it is Kings Day today) was discussing at lunch with friends whether panettone is Italian equivalent? Portuguese version is a ring, the 'cake' a bit more like a bready-brioche texture and sweetness, with candied peel in and on top. They also hide three things in it, a coin and two others I'm sad have forgotten (Google next). Do they do this in France?

remnant I wasn't on the conception thread, but excited welcome wave. The 40+ mums have a sofa by the fire. I wonder if we should at least have a funky coffee lounge to meet in? Or am I the only one drinking coffee (no mentions of BP please!)?

somewhere - two differences now: your DC is older than mine, and you are soooo much younger . When does your mum start chemo ( I hope you don't mind me asking)? Do you have a lot of work on before due?

Riverside your DP sounds lovely: I'm not surprised it is still raw but you sound amazingly level -headed in your approach, and not impatient with yourself. I hope I will be as wise one day.

Calibee thinking of you heaps tomorrow. Funny how you can not have met somebody and yet want a good outcome for them so much it feels tender.

One other quick question, talking of apps: when I had DD I used an ap to log feeds (especially time on/off and which side; I think you could log sleeps and poos too). My iDevice got drowned by a teething toddler so is no longer with me...anybody got any idea what it might have been, or what good ones are now?

Remnant welcome to the thread. I think the health trusts probably have different policies. At 6 weeks (got my BFP at 5 weeks but then spent a week convinced Aunty Flo would arrive anyway) I rang my local GP surgery and was told I needed to make an appt to see my GP who could then refer me to the midwife services. Saw my GP at 7 weeks and he said why are you seeing me not the midwife services? So then got to see the midwife for a booking in appt at 8 weeks, which I think is the normal time anyway.

scarecrow I've saw this app on a best of 2012 baby app list ...

itunes.apple.com/us/app/ibaby-feed-timer-breastfeeding/id395357581?mt=8

... which I bookmarked to get if I got that far. It seems quite practical but obviously I've not used it myself.

There was also a recommend white noise app but I think I've been tempted by the idea of a Ewan the sheep now

Also very happy to join at the virtual coffee lounge, bagsy a comfy chair with an nice upright back, can't get out of those low sofas any more without DH to haul me up. Mine's a hot chocolate with whipped cream but no marshmallows.

Also much respect the many French speakers, I must confess to zero French knowledge. My schooling consisted of 1 year welsh, 1 year french and then 2 years German and I have since forgotten everything but a smattering of tourist German.

I'm so shocked by the big variation in care, and especially slow and poor care in some areas, I had a look at the National Institute of Clinical Excellence website today (NICE).

Need to get on with work, so excuse brevity, but it has recently issued new guidance on miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy (ie covering anybody with such concerns):

publications.nice.org.uk/ectopic-pregnancy-and-miscarriage-cg154

In view of some of the difficulties getting scans, I note with interest this par:

"Early pregnancy assessment services
Regional services should be organised so that an early pregnancy assessment service is available 7 days a week for women with early pregnancy complications, where scanning can be carried out and decisions about management made."

There is much more detail around that point here:

publications.nice.org.uk/ectopic-pregnancy-and-miscarriage-cg154/key-priorities-for-implementation#early-pregnancy-assessment-services

I was hoping, Remnant, to find more for you on general expectations of early care etc. It might be there but searching on iDevice hard as so small. If MN does not have link to national stuff, NCT website or your PCT should. Like Riverside, I just went to doc when got pos test, and was given info etc to book booking appt and 12 wk scan at local hospital maternity unit. I think 1st time round I just rang GP surgery and asked them what to do. Good luck :)

somewhere you asked about gaps between children. DD is now 3 years and 3 months. We TTC for about 18 months from when she was 18 months herself. Looking at it now I'm OK how it's all panned out. She's potty trained, very easy going and doesn't have many tantrums anymore. Not sure how I would have coped with pregnancy had she been any younger TBH.
remnant welcome! And congratulations . Lovely to meet you and have you on board.

calibee thinking of you at your scan today. Hope news is positive for you and DP.
river 37 weeks? Wow time is clocking by. Poor you with that choice of film. Seem to recall being caught out a few times with sad storylines myself. Glad DP was there though to give you a much-deserved cuddle.
scarecrow yes, I'm still on the caffeine. I limit myself to a skinny latte and a cup of tea each day. Coffee lounge sounds great! Could I bag myself a seat and a chocolate muffin too??

AFM, really starting to notice the aches and pains of being 30 weeks plus ramping up. My back and pelvis are terribly sore. Not sure that workwise I'll make it to 35+5 my proposed end date. Today every step I take is painful
Roll on mat leave.....

Hello Ladies!

Waves to remnant in welcome!

calibee fingers crossed xxx

knicky sounds very owchy... xxx

scarecrow The differences between PCTs are appalling. Ours is well-known as being inadequate...they have had many enquiries, but as remote and other hospitals so far, they get away with it every time...

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-17154801

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-16934054

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-16916557

They are actually known as 'The baby death trust....'

As for the Galette des Rois.... can vary from region to region. Some are more like a brioche-y crown (was when I lived in the Vendee), with either fruits or almond paste. Some like a giant flaky frangipane filled with almond paste. Inside you have a 'feve' literally, a bean. The Galette comes with a paper crown. The person who finds the feve (which is usually a ceramic 'santon', or creche figure, sometimes a little ceramic plaque), is king or queen for the day, and picks their king or queen.

Riverside oooh, want to know all about the 50 before 50...(I've only got 5 years to cram it all in!)

As for the French, did help to spend 7 years married to a Frenchman who refused to learn English....

Been sent to the diabetes nurse today. One of the MWs who did the scan friday finally picked up on previous gestational diabetes and agreed that I should be seen earlier. So now am having to test for a couple of weeks solidly, then 2/3 times a week until end of pg. Am a complete chicken about needles, but needs must.

Dh's ex has been kicking off, knew she would to upset me, now threatening to take him to court for a 'maintenance order' that doesn't exist. She earns 4 x what we have... but she's been like this for so long...

BadmissM, "quelle petasse !" don't let her get to you and the LO

A flying visit for quick update.....the nightmare continues....
Todays scan showed the sac has grown within the expected range and that a yolk sac can now be seen but still no visible embryo. They have booked me in for another scan in 2 weeks. My anxiety levels are through the roof. The nurse is totally non-comittal although she says the development is good, she says nothing surprises her in this game even though I am pretty damn sure of my dates.
Sorry for not namechecking (I am still following you all)...right now I feel I just want to curl up on the sofa, go to sleep and not wake up for 2 weeks [:(]

calibee that is very tough - it's a bit like what Jbrd went through - seems very unusual and unfair. I am so very sorry. I hope it turns out well - and that in the meantime you can rest up and look after yourself. I know this won't be easy and it will be a long two weeks. (((hugs)))

badmissm when i went for my NHS nuchal first time round it was in this wierd corridor and the equipment was rubbish, the sonographer seemed half asleep and they said they couldn't see anything and sent me home. It sounds like your health trust is a bit like this all the time. I know about bad trusts in theory but am quite shocked to hear it happening in reality - how can they not offer a nuchal? In one of the richest countries in the world? Glad you had the harmony and I am glad you are making some headway. Your DH's ex sounds just terrible - like she'd rather have trouble than everyone getting on. I hope you can forget about her.

riverside i agree with badmissm - quite curious for a sample of your 50 before 50 list! i like the idea a lot. Re kicking i don't know the difference between kicking and hicupping - if i get really forensic a true kick probably only happens about once a day, if that! The rest are the baby turning over, moving it's knee, quivering, etc. If the rythmic regular pulses are hiccups then they probably do account for about 30% of all movement. I dunno. I have yet to spot any kind of pattern - other than that most nights when I'm watching telly LO moves a lot - DP usually feels something. Maybe it's just because I notice when I'm watching telly. I'm kind of getting into the whole forensic detailed analysis of the kicks because it gives my mind something to gnaw at IYSWIM. Re grieving it sounds like you are getting good support from your DP. I have an inkling of the rawness you must be feeling and send you hugs. I like hearing about how those final weeks are progressing well.

remnant welcome and great news! I saw my GP at 5 weeks as they are the gatekeeper for midwife care. She referred me on and I got my midwife's apt at 7 weeks. For my area it seems like the earlier you get to the GP the earlier you get to the midwife - unless you have a different system.

Scarecrow my mum starts chemo on Wednesday this week. She's relieved to be cracking on with it but also worried about the side effects. Nobody knows quite what to expect as everyone reacts differently. BTW I also have at least one strong coffee a day - from the expresso-maker - and i would love a funky coffee lounge! With comfy sofas and newspapers and magazines and time to kick back and have a sort of child-free experience before the babies arrive.

knicky I'm so sorry about your SPD. It's a really serious business I gather. You should take time off work if you need - whether you are planning another baby or not after this you need to take it easy if you have spd and what is 2 weeks or even 6 weeks in the grand scheme of things. I agree about the age gap - i wanted this baby 2 years ago but now we're actually here I feel it's working out well. We will spread out the childcare costs as DS will start school next Sept, well before DC2 needs childcare. Your DD must be starting too? Have you applied for schools?

AFM I'm having quite a good day today - I went swimming and it does seem to help with physical and mental pangs of pregnancy. Also got some work through so can earn a tad more money in my last 2 months, and my DP is being very mature and completer finisher about pretty much the gamut of our existence. Also I've done my tax return and am suddenly a few k richer because I'd been so meticulous about putting aside tax from all my earnings, forgetting about the tax-free allowance. This is going to cancel out some debt. Also we are going to get our own place soon I hope.

Wierdly i was checking out when i can upgrade my phone and they said April and that made it all seem very near.

Feeling and looking very pregnant. My cousin is pregnant and she's on facebook and she's 20 weeks and she is tiny - she literally looks like me pre-pregnancy. Made me feel like such a fatty.

sorry for mammoth post.

xxxx

Afternoon all

Calibee - so sorry you still don't have a conclusive answer, and no wonder you are so anxious. I will be thinking of you during these next couple of weeks and keeping my fingers crossed that everything is ok.

Remnant - hello, welcome and congratulations! I did see my GP when I got my BFP but that was because I was having ongoing appts with her regarding fertility investigations, and was also on medication that had to be stopped immediately if I got pregnant. Having said that, I was slightly at the lack of fanfare and care in those early weeks. I felt like getting pregnant was a miracle but in reality I was on the same NHS track as everyone else. Those early weeks can be very stressful though, so do see a doc if you have any concerns.

*BadmissM - sorry you are having trouble with the ex, and good luck with the diabetes tests.

Knicky - you have my sympathy re those last few weeks of work. I was hobbling around at work some days, probably made worse by sitting in a chair all day...

Riverside - that feeding app looks really useful! I am going to make a note of it and already have a contraction counting one for when it all kicks off. Your 50 Things list sounds great - I really ought to do something similar as imagine during these next few months/years(!) it will be easy to lose sight of anything other than baby-related things...

Scarecrow - sorry you lost your iThing to the destructive toddler - I will see if I come across any that do sleeping and pooing too. I guess sleep/poo/feed covers most of a baby's activities for a few months?

Somewhere - that sucks that you never got your hands on that IO maternity top. I have done most of my Ebay searching/bidding on my phone although I probably had it set up a little too easily as have acquired vast amounts of stuff! Today - a Moby wrap, and hopefully tomorrow a Grobag thermometer!

I am really not sure what is going on with me - felt quite down over the weekend and hatched a plan last night to fill the coming week with positivity, pedicures, meeting with friends and so on, but frankly I feel like shit! Am not so down today, but am in too much pain to contemplate leaving the house and feel fairly sick (bump is like a rock now and every bit of it seems to hurt) Never feel particularly hungry now - just get terrible hearburn/nausea which goes away after a bit of food. We got quite a bit done regarding birth prep over the weekend though which has eased my anxiety somewhat.

DP is away at work for the week, but I have impressed upon him the importance of getting his ass back here asap if required (2.5 hour journey time). 38+3 today, sweep on Weds and then who knows. Meanwhile, please could somebody post some maltesers through the letterbox if I can't get down to the supermarket?

Oh, and BBD please save a seat in the mum's lounge for someone who is feeling very clueless and a bit apprehensive...

Eagle, I will keep a place warm for you in our Marrakech style lounge, I make sure I have rose water handy to refresh your face. 38weeks, you are almost there, if baby decides to come now, it would be 100% ready and perfect. Rest as much as you can, you wil be fine. we are here to hold your hands
Hello to every one else.

Just had a really intense 10 hours at work... Just what I need, to kick off my boots and curl up in a comfy big chair with my Niçoise salad from M&S and have a gossip and a laugh with the FF+MtBs ... The train guard just ruined the fantasy with a list of all the "station stops"... As soon as I get a chance Eagle I'll rustle up a Malteaser Traybake my sister has a recipe for...

Calibee I so so wish you'd had more positive news. Two weeks is going to feel like an age. Can you arrange anything to try and break it up? Also lthe second link I posted this morning had info about all the support, reassurance and guidance they should be able to offer you viz what to expect, explanations and advice.

riverside I love the link now I've found it. Feeding was defo the most useful log last time, partly because it was so easy to forget time of last feed, let alone which side she started on... Also I saw from week to week the average gaps between feeds were steadily growing, whereas day to day it was harder to see that through the variability.

Somewhere glad your mum gets to start treatment, and all limbs crossed she has mildest reaction. If not it's so tough but I think you said the long term prognosis was good do I hope that, and being a granny again, help her through. I don't know how much it helped, but when her sister had treatment for myeloma my mum did a bag/box of gifts to open when she was struggling and needed a little lift - anything from a homemade voucher for a day out or her fave lip balm or a new funny photo of family to more generous gifts: I and middle sister did same for our youngest sister another time and we added a rule she had to ring and tell one of us what she opened (that way we were alerted to it being a bad day/hour and could kick in some extra support if needed).

Am thinking the coffee lounge has a couple of lies of interesting books to dip into, maybe a couple of baby rearing ones we could peruse and chat over, and some up to date treat magazines. Last time I read/skimmed a few different ones from Gina to Baby Whisperer and just took bits from them all and adapted to DD. having said that I'd do a couple of things differently, especially not rushing in to feed her quite so quickly at 5am every day for a year and a half...though really I wouldn't change an atom if her being, so maybe I would....