Last week or two of pregnancy

[squidkid]

Just a place for advice/suggestions or a place to chat for those of us in the last couple weeks of pregnancy. I am on a brilliant antenatal thread but my due date is the first there and I don't want to bore them all with nonsense about braxton hicks and how to fill my days when lots of them are still at work... and I think they would prefer their babies to stay inside for now! I'm not quite at the "get it out of me" stage yet... but I'm definitely at the "if you came now you'd be very welcome" stage.... :)

I am 38+5 today and this is first baby. I know most first babies come late, so I've been trying to tell myself I'll be late throughout the pregnancy, but now I'm term it's hard not to be excited. In the last three or four days I've had long periods of continuous mild period-like pain, and some painful tightenings (sometimes very close together, but then they stop). Are these imminent signs, do these mean nothing... I don't really know. I haven't had a show.

Baby has been engaged since 34 weeks (uncomfortable!) I'm pretty sure his/her back is on the left side at the front (all the kicks are upper right hand side) which I think is ideal. I'm a little obsessive about keeping baby in a good position - I spend time on all fours, make sure I get plenty of walking/standing, sit on a gym ball when I'm on the computer, sleep on my side, I don't lie back on the sofa. I'm probably overthinking this.

I am doing pretty ok for late pregnancy - still walking at least a few miles a day, or swimming, or walking into town every day. I actually did a charity night hike last night! (Boyfriend carried maternity notes in his backpack through the woods - it was a bit stupid really!) I am slow, but I thought I'd be a lot heavier and more immobile by this stage to be honest. I stopped work a while back - a very busy, stressful, physically and emotionally demanding job - so I've had a lot of time to relax, nest, exercise, see almost all my friends, sort my flat out. Everything is neat and sorted and stocked and ready.

I'm grateful that I've had a troublefree pregnancy and hoping the birth will go fine too. Feeling positive and relaxed about it, just impatient!

How are other people doing? Staying busy, getting anxious, waiting, over-analysing every tiny sign!? Any suggestions for good things to do in the last week or two? Please no one tell me to 'get lots of sleep' as this is the one thing I am completely incapable of at the moment - up every 30-60 mins through the night...

Feeling very today. The whole pregnancy I've really thought that today would be the day I would go into labour- I haven't. Still not getting any symptoms that even hint baby is on her way.

I've actually began to think that I may be pregnant forever. I'm officially one week over due as of tomorrow. Why is the baby not coming? Why don't I work?

Sorry to be a misery, will be more cheery tomorrow...

A couple of mild ones, no worse than a bit of period cramp. I know there's worse to come though and I'm bricking it.

I honestly didn't really have any symptoms. Just a lot more pressure down below and a few pains in fanjo tonight. I did actually lay on a towel tonight due to pressure but still came as massive shock!

Goog luck milli I hope u have your baby in your arms today! I've not had any more contractions since last nite I'm so not impressed ten days over now and looks like being induced tuesday x

ooooh good luck ladies! Popped back for news of you all! Sounds like things are kicking off for a few of you :)

munny2Benji, thanks for asking, DS3 (Silas) was 8lb 3. My first 2 sons were 7lb 4.

I had been reading a lot about avoiding 'purple pushing' and all talk of pushing completely in fact, and the MWs, DH and my doula were all incredibly respectful of that.

I'm mentioning it here because it may help a few of you, because I can definitely feel a difference now in terms of how well I am in the nether regions. My first wee was (I kid you not) no different from any other wee. And I think most women don't say that after a vaginal delivery.

Am happy to say more if anyone would find it useful.

Love to all and hope waiting isn't too terrible!

Weezl x

Good luck milli and chin up gangly - I lost the much coveted mucus plug in the night and have been having contractions ever since... And like milli I had no signs at all yesterday apart from the usual baby wriggling and causing low pains, so it could happen gangly - keeping fingers crossed for you! Saying that, I did have a bath with my labour massage oil and rubbed it into my bump afterwards and then worked on some acupressure points I saw on a youtube video... Maybe that helped?!
Anyway, not holding my breath as contractions have been very irregular in both time and intensity so will probably be a while yet. Most have been mild but just had a toe curler that prompted me to get up and take some paracetamol. Am now on the sofa with the cats and they're not so bad again.
weezl congratulations on your newest bundle! Would love some more tips if you're able - have been up and down to the toilet helps with the contractions and already feeling the urge to push (def poo not baby tho - sorry if TMI!!!) was trying to breathe through but that just didn't get anything moving?!

Good luck milli :))

Milli and nene that us so exciting!!!! How are you feeling now? Much movement??

Massive congrats weezl!!! We will all get there in time :-)

Gangly it will happen. Apparently.. Just got to do nice things and SLEEP. I had back stomach tightening this morning. Got up. Had a poo. All over. Yes. Needing a poo now gives me FALSE labour. Class.

Thanks ladies!!

Nenehoo my contractions sound much like yours. No real pattern to them. They are fairly short and seem to be worse when I lay down. Feeling pretty tired. Sent DH to spare room so at least he's got some rest. Have had my TENS machine on since about 1am and it does seem to help. Up and about now hoping to speed things up. Feel the need to make sure house is all in order.

Really hoping this bit doesn't drag on too much. Any ideas on what I can do to ramp up the contractions? Not that I really want to be in lots of pain, but can't bear the thought of hanging about at home all day waiting for it to properly kick off.

Good luck to everyone else.

So glad to find this thread. Feel like I am going insane!
Now 40+5 with dc4 and feeling very despondent- ridiculous really as dc1 was 40+10, dc2 40+6.... its just dc3 spoiled it by coming at 39+6 and I've been expecting that all pregnancy!
Am now absolutely huge, frequently incontinent with 3 dc under 7 to care for and just want baby OUT!!! Am so grumpy with the world that I fear I may punch the next well meaning person who asks me (insert anything pg prelates here) and am trying to hide away.
Sorry just needed to vent... Very glad I am not alone

Welcome bearhugs and feel free to rant! We all do a fair amount of that on here :)

How exciting milli and nene! Hope the contractions settle into something regular today and baby starts making his / her bid for freedom. After losing my mucus plug yesterday morning nothing else has happened really. I've felt a bit nauseous and off food since but no proper contractions - yesterday evening I even had fewer BH than I've been used to having of an evening. I did have a lovely long soak in the bath, sponging the bump with warm water while baby wriggled about :) Feeling much more emotional than usual and unable to cope with anything that doesn't involve baby coming out. Dh has exam stress approaching so I am not coping well with that as can't get my head around anything other than birth and me being on the verge of labour. Trying not to be impatient with ds too. Lovely sunny day here too - perfect for a nice quick simple painfree birth methinks! ;) Uh huh

Look forward to hearing more of your updates - keeping me sane and like I am not the only one waiting waiting for things to happen!

Quick update - waters went so came to hospital... Meconium in waters so about to have drip to get labour going as contractions have more or less stopped. Have been a bit upset and feeling quite scared but trying to hold it together - good luck and fingers crossed to all of you x

weezl74 good size for little man but not huge - perfect! Glad you're feeling much more comfortable after giving birth, hope you're all enjoying getting to know one another :)

Hello, sorry I've been on and off here for a while.
Had back ache since last night with pains and tightenings. Then randomly woke up and threw up! Think it was avid reflux but never had that before.
Been on the ball this morning. Hard to concentrate with 2 toddlers about.
In bed now, came over quite tired.
I have no idea if this is it or not I hate the waiting. I don't have period pains right now just back ache so false alarm do we think?
Sorry am on my own and DP doesn't really understand.

Acid not avid!

thanks :) OK re the pushing thing.

My book was saying that there are a couple of reasons why the woman being coached/shouted at to push and actively trying to do so impairs the process. Largely this is to do with theories about the fear>tension>pain pathway, and also the way that cervical musculature (?) will actually tighten up rather than dilate when those things are happening, instead of a relaxed going with what your body is wanting to do and totally allowing of it.

For me, in my previous 2 labours, I had a very extravert, midwife (who was lovely) but who really believed in lots of loud descriptions of that we must push now! No this way, use the energy differently, not make any noises.... etc etc.

As a people-pleasing type of person, who likes to get things right, I just felt I wasn't measuring up, and went very much into 'trying hard' and anxiety, and I think this didn't help.

Even so, my pushing stages with DS1 and 2 were still 35 and 30 mins respectively which is really not a concern at all given that some women have to push for 2-3 hrs particularly on a first delivery. So it took me 'til this time to think 'actually, I am not a rubbish pusher, and this baby will come out and it will be fine for me not to try to go with anyone else's lead on it'.

So, in the event, the MWs were respectfully silent, and remained totally focussed on Silas at business end, whilst my DH and my lovely doula took turns to say (as we'd chatted through before) 'that's it! you can do this, you are amazing, well done! So nearly there!' etc etc.

my second stage is recorded as 9 mins. :) The MW came on friday to check Silas and said that she hadn't seen such a slow gentle fanning out of the perineal etc tissues gently over his head and face, a 12 second pause, and then the same again over his whole body. No tears or grazes, minimal loss (I have had periods heavier than the loss this time!)

So I may be latching on to the wrong thing entirely, and maybe it would just have been that way anyway, but it felt different to me, andin a good way, that made it easier on both me and DS3. And so I thought/hoped that idea might be useful to some of you.

weezl x

now I've done one epic post, I may as well plod on! Another thing I have found helpful is that as we didn't get to use the pool at all with Silas, as things transpired. In the elder boys waterbaby book we read them to prep them for a homebirth, the little boy and the baby and the parents all end up having a swim in the pool at the end of their story, and I know that DS1 in particular had latched onto this idea.

Also I read a birthstory of a woman who hadn't ended up with her waterbirth, and had sort of symbolically gone in there the next day and had a cuddle with the baby just as she had hoped to. So.... I was thinking in case I did end up feeling sad about that, of the idea of all 5 of us having a little pool party in it before giving it back to my pal.

We had our pool party this morning. It was very lovely. Nice and warm and all cuddly and smelling of lavender. Silas seemed to like it and the bigger boys did too :) ♥ They also had some choc chip cereal bars in it, and we had cozzies on, so not really an enactment of the real thing (!) but very fab. Silas looked right up into my eyes from the nice warm water and it was really special.

I guess what I am saying is, give yourself permission to find ways toget what you had hoped for anyway, if you feel it will help you process bits of your labour story that don't quite go to plan :)

Good luck nene you will be fine

well I'm feeling pretty fed up and tired. Contractions were being regular for a good few hours and now all over the place. Hospital don't want me in yet. I know best to be at home, but feel in limbo. Hoping they ramp up again otherwise they'll start induction process tomorrow.

Nene it's all happening for you. Wishing you lots of luck!

Mummy2 - hope things get going properly for you too.

Sounds great weezl - this is probably a daft sounding Q but in the 'pushing' stage, what did you actually do? It sounds like you weren't straining purple in the face but were you trying to squeeze or do anything? My only experience was with ds and 2 hours of purple-faced pushing! Pool party sounds lovely and a great time of bonding too :)

Thinking of you nene! Hoping all gets going soon, try not to be scared and think about holding baby in your arms! The fear of labour is much worse than the reality. Hope you are feeling a bit better too gangly - I feel your frustration! Nothing happening here right now, I am watching Thomas the Tank Engine with ds and feeling like a ticking time bomb (although not much ticking going on - that would suggest something was actually happening...)

Mum just phoned to see if anything was happening! "NOOOO it isn't!!" She pointed out that she didn't have any of this waiting as both my brother and I came at 37 weeks

sea - vomiting is maybe a good sign! Lots of women can be sick in the early stages of labour so might not be just reflux. I've been feeling nauseous on and off since passing my show yesterday but no pukies and I've just scoffed some peanut butter crackers down - craving peanut butter today... significance?!

Love to all and contraction-type thoughts...

milli - hope it gets going for you soon. Hot curry tonight?! When I was pregnant with ds my equally pregnant friend and I went out for curry, and both of us gave birth within 48 hours! Likely we both would have delivered then anyway but you never know... How frustrating about the contractions - it's so hard having to just sit tight and wait, and not having any control over it :( That is probably why we all feel so darn fed up, because we're all so helpless to do anything to make our bodies get on with it! On that note, I'm off to do some star jumps...... as if

Nene and milli hope you're getting on ok :)

mummy that's a very good question! In my hypnobirthing session, she explained that you can focus your breathing on pushing down from the top of your diaphragm and helping the baby go out that way, rather than the pushing through your pelvis/bottom - which results in the purple pushing.

If you've ever been stuck on the loo with a particularly large...movement, you know that trying to push it out won't work, that it requires a kind of active, conscious relaxing..? I wonder if it's like that - active, conscious relaxing of muscles. We know that babies kind of go down/come back/go down/come back up see-saw motion until they eventually crown and that visualisation has really helped me - along with the surges of waves back and forth on a beach. I think it really helps to avoid that - one way pushing ->>>>>> thought process, if you see what I mean?

I just don't know what you then do if your suddenly required to get your baby out quickly. I very much intend to make it clear I'd like my baby to set the pace, I'm not in any hurry to push them out. I'd rather spend ages going back and forth, back and forth than this aggressive-seeming PUSH!!! but what if you suddenly have to - what then?

Thanks mummy it's all died down I did manage a good nap though.
Still bit of back ache.
Argh I'm impatient now!

everyone seems to be getting somewhere but me

very happy for you all though! keep thinking my time will come . lovely to here about the positive birth and action stories though.

had some completely inconsistent pains today. we went for a walk and they kept coming. when we got back i made a batch of cookies and sausage rolls to keep me on my feet. now i just feel knackered with a load of party food i dont know what to do with.

DP v happy about the sausage roll situation at least...................

AnneH656- don't worry I'm not getting anywhere either here! In pain every rove ing but nothing resembling regular contx. Been like that for 2 weeks now and I think when it is actually labour I will be ignoring it expecting everything to die off again!
Equally anxiety inducing given I only accepted i was in labour with dc3 15 minutes before I was holding him ( Ina not quite full pool Thank heavens for homebirth !

I am a doula and every one of the four births I've been to thus year started on a Sunday evening... Can I use that as faint hope for tonight?

If not I am going to spend the week hibernating away from the 'are you still here?'s' and 'any niggles' so I don't get done for assault. The school run is a nightmare!

And then it's just half term to worry about ....

Oh I am in a good mood

ah, bearhugs43 that really made me smile

i am totally with you that i have had a couple of weeks with pains coming and going but of no pattern of any bloody use.. now i am well and truly past 40 weeks it feels like i will be in in this abyss of random pains, period pain and twinges for eternity.

funny you say that about sunday - DPs two best friends had their babies kick off sunday and come monday so maybe there is something in it?? or maybe thats why i am feeling especially despondent today.......

i am SOOOOOOOOO with you about the school run! last week i even had random child who i dont know from DD's class ask me 'when the baby was coming'. i started to think her mum had sent her over for inside information. paranoid?? me?? at least DD has been really patient. she is 9 and has been a real support. trouble is that makes me teary. just cant win.

sausage roll anyone??