Smoking

[xmasevebundle]

I know this is quite shocking and i still dont believe im doing this thread.

I started smoking when i was 16 after a break up with my first boyfriend, ever since, its the ONLY thing to make me calm and not get angry.

I have been anger managment a few times due to a family death

So when i found out i was pregnant i gave up cold turkey, im now 25+4.

I have a shit pregnancy, spilt stomach muscles, endless stress with the babys father,threats, my mum and dad been in a horiffic car crash which has left me shaken and im doing everything around the house.

I went to the shop and got a packet of 10 and felt a lot better, but i went again today to get baccy this time.

I dont smoke millions and millions, but its such a stress relief for me.

Im thinking do i stop and carry on being stressed through out or have a fag here and there when i get pissed off.

Has anyone else been in this situation??

You've already quit once, you can do it again!!

Go to your GP and get some professional advice, not just about giving up smoking, but the other stresses in your life too. Maybe some counselling will help to deal with all the other issues that are leading you to smoke.

I'm not sure it's helpful for ex-smokers to be telling the OP that they miss smoking every day, tbh. It's actually not my experience either. I smoked for 20 years and quit last year when I found out I was pregnant. It was hard - I was a very addicted smoker - but it got easier. I rarely think about cigarettes these days and am so pleased I stopped. I'm sure the guilt doesn't go away once the baby comes out....

Best of luck, OP. I hope you do manage it - it will make you feel fantastic, I promise! :)

Oh yes and I also recommend the Allan Carr book...

Just a word of encouragement to say, for yours and your baby's sake, don't give up giving up!

Here's a link to the Allen Carr book

Yes, thinking about it, you're probably right mummybare. I think when I say I miss smoking, what I actually mean it, yes I do still want to smoke sometimes, but what I always want more is NOT to smoke. That's the only reason I don't smoke- the wanting NOT to is stronger than the wanting TO smoke if you see what I mean. So I am really trying to reassure the OP that even if you think you will never be able to just forget smoking and never think about it during times of stress, it is possible to think about it and realise that you don't actually want to do it.

I smoked a bit - never heavily - and sometimes I miss the idea of smoking but if I ever do try it in recent times I find it revolting!

Since i got the baccy today, ive had about 5

Now i am not bothered and would chuck them ive got what i wanted.

I didnt even find it hard when i gave up, i tried to give up many of times before and failed but when i found out i stopped straight away.

I am going to ring my MW, monday and tell her. I need to find something else than not go and smoke!

Thanks for all the replys. I will go and get that book, i do enjoy reading.

After hes born i wont smoke at all!

I think if you wanted to, you could. I think you're telling yourself a LOT of things to justify why you continue to smoke/can't give up. None of them are true.

None of the above is meant as a nasty response to your OP. Simply that I've been there, I understand, but until you wise up to the clever tricks your brain is playing on you, you'll continue to smoke.

I totally get that you're stressed and you think it makes you less stressed. It doesn't. The physical action of smoking is not what calms you down. It's your learned psychological reaction to smoking that makes you think you've calmed down. The truth is - and one that's very hard to believe - your body will stop craving the physical effects of smoking after a week or so. Your emotional addiction to smoking is much harder to crack.

You don't want to be stressed during pregnancy - that is also very harmful to your baby. I say this as someone who is also prone to getting very stressed, very easily. However, if you truly wanted to, you could stop reaching for the cigarettes when you are stressed, and teach yourself that other tactics work:

• pregnancy yoga
• swimming has a remarkably calming effect
• massages
• meditation
• breathing exercise
• baths using calming essential oils

All of these WILL help you deal with those moments of when the stress feels overwhelming. You could choose to take steps to deal with your stress in a proactive, healthy way. Smoking is entirely a choice you make. You're not a slave to nicotine, unable to control your limbs and stop them from walking to the shops. Don't lie to yourself. Choose to opt for an alternative response to your stress.

I say all this as someone who smoked for half my life, and gave up a month before I got pregnant. I also habitually smoked weed for years to relax and help with insomnia and stress, similar to a glass of wine in the evening. I told myself a lot of untruths about my choices. The only truth is you have a choice about what you do.

I would read all the tips to help you stop and stop feeling so bad and guilty about it. Ask your mw for assistance. At the end of the day, it's like the alcohol thing. 40 fags and a bottle of wine - not recommended during pregnancy. A small glass of wine and a couple of roll ups per day will have no effect whatsoever.

Firstly, I do understand how hard it is to quit OP, used to smoke 20 per day and took me two years of Repeated attempts to give up and i'm also sorry you are having such a shitty time, BUT........I reckon if someone gave you a million pounds to give up tmrw, you would.
I'm not having a go, what you do with your body and your baby is up to you. You did ask our opinions and You know is wrong and you know it's stupid. I doubt you would have posted on here in the first place if you felt it was ok to carry on.
You just need to get it into perspective and if you know deep down you'd give up If someone gave you a million pounds, then just stop! Surely your babies health and well being is worth more than that!
Good luck and I hope everything goes smoothly for the rest of your pregnancy

"40 fags and a bottle of wine - not recommended during pregnancy. A small glass of wine and a couple of roll ups per day will have no effect whatsoever."
Seriously? I don't think a couple of units of alcohol and a couple of cigarettes are quite the same thing at all.

Just wanted to say that when I quit smoking I did it by working out why I wanted to smoke in the first place. For me, it was having a lovely 5 mins to myself outside (never smoked inside anyway). So I found something to do for 5 mins, quietly and by myself. I usually would just go outside and read a couple of articles from a magazine. It really, really helped as I had then satisfied my psychological craving to have a few quiet minutes by myself.

I also realised I had a bit of an oral fixation, if I wasn't smoking I would be chewing my lips or cheeks so chewing gum or gummy sweets solved that one!

Good luck!

Its one thing giving up but another to stop.

Im not addicted to it and i use to be, its the taste of smoking when you first start.

Im quite happy to read/baths but when i feel none of the above will work and i have tried believe you me.

I always gone cold turkey before and i will do again. I need to go over this patch.

Maybe not going out and having a lot of times on my hands, it gives me something to do sounds awful

I do feel like crying, its not his fault yet im forcing it upon him. I would never drink while pregnant, i think even a sip would make him drunk.

Im going for a long walk tomorrow and clear my head, get a pack lunch and go drift away for a few hours .

Ive always said i would never smoke while pregnant, but i have done.

Its not as shocking to compared to this other girl i know off who openly took meth and weed daily while pregnant.

I normally get a packet of 10 and once ive smoked i cant have any more.

Yes seriously London. I mho people overdo the given advice.

The thing is, I don't even know how you can actually enjoy the ones you're having, knowing what it's doing to your baby.

So it seems like you're trapped in this cycle of weakness and guilt, neither of which are doing you any good.

I said it many times in my post - if you truly wanted to not smoke, you would.

I think you really do need help. You are insisting you're not addicted. To me, not addicted means able to make the choice not to smoke. But if you were able to make that choice, you would. So I think you are addicted. Being an addict manifests in different ways, and in some people that might mean turning to cigarettes when stressed rather than all the time. You HAVE done really well to quit as much as you have- it shows you can do it. Personally I haven't smoked in almost a year now. Not one cigarette. But I still consider myself an addict because I could always potentially turn back to it. No point saying 'I can stop if I want to' unless you actually do. Believe me, I said that for years.
Fair enough Portofino- I agree in some cases (runny eggs, that sort of thing). For me though, smoking has to be a no-compromise situation because there is no scientific evidence out there saying that even 1 is ok. Plus for me, smoking wouldn't be just 1!

I really feel for you OP - I quit after reading the Alan Carr book "The Easy Way to Stop Smoking" coming up 3 years ago in December. Prior to this I had started smoking at 14 and been a 25 a day smoker in the later years and by the time I hit 30 I was desperate to stop.

I had tried going to the Alan Carr sessions twice in my early 20's and both times I quit smoking but quickly found a reason to start again. As I understand now, I just didn't want to quit that badly. But this time round, I was sick of smoking and utterly desperate to stop so I read the book. Twice. I don't know how it works, all I know is that it does and I've now been nicotine free since then and I genuinely don't miss it. In fact, the morning my brother died 3 months ago, I went outside the hospital with my sister and I demanded a cigarette, fully anticipating that I would probably start again but at that point so lost in grief I didn't care. I took one puff, coughed up a lung and then realised that I would never start again.

I really feel for you wanting to smoke when pregnant, as if you don't have enough to feel guilty about. Nothing like a pregnant woman smoking for the judgey bitches to come out in force and tell you you're a terrible person. You've really been through the mill and I can understand the only thing that is an anchor is the smoking.

I would really really recommend the book, you're able to smoke whilst reading it if you need to, but more to the point, you will feel like you're making moves to quit. Also, can you try an electronic cigarette? Maybe that would help eliminate some of the guilt?

Good luck

I think 'judgey bitches' is a tad harsh.
As far as I can see, no one has been bitchy, only given their opinion, which I am assuming OP was expecting when she posted on here.
If I wrote a post saying I was going to do a bungee jump whilst heavily pregnant, I think everyone would pipe up and tell me how bad it was - I don't see how smoking is any different. We all know it's bad for baby. Fact.
I think everyone who has posted On here has actually been really sympathetic and offered constructive advice or pointed out all the reasons she needs to stop.

Those electronic cigarettes still contain nicotine though don't they? So still harmful?

jakey I think pudgy meant in general not just this thread.

I hope so

This might be harsh but I do judge smoking pregnant women - precisely because I have been there.

I smoked from the age of 15 until 31, a month before I became pregnant. I stopped because we were TTCing. I LOVED smoking. I didn't think I'd ever be able to quit and I was so scared of the day coming when I had to.

But I managed to quit. It is a choice. I'm sorry, but it is - to pretend otherwise is trying to mug everyone off. I judge that choice - I do, I can't help it. I'm not trying to sound smug but I managed to stop, to make another choice.

I genuinely think the day you realise it's a choice, it sets you free somehow and you're more able to be honest with yourself. You might still find quitting hard - I'm not denying it is hard. But all this pretending like someone has a gun to your head, that you don't have a choice annoys me, and all it does is enable the person trying to quit with a way out.

"Pudgy"

Thanks London yes I meant in general, not on this thread!

Apologies in that case!