Will baby be Christened? Why/Why not?

[LuckyOwl28]

I waded into dangerous territory yesterday telling my Nan that we're not having our baby Christened. To her it's just the done thing, she can't understand why we wouldn't.

This topic isn't to say we are right, I'm just interested in other people's decisions on this matter, as we have some much more choice these days and Christenings don't seem as popular. Im sure there are varying reasons for this, our reasons (briefly) are as follows:

Although we're not entirely atheist, neither myself or Hubby are religious. We never pray or attend Church, although we have absolute respect for those of any faith.

I would feel almost like a bit of a fraud reciting passages in a Church that I don't necessarily believe in, purely for traditional or superstitious reasons. We didn't get married in Church for the same reason.

The idea that all children who are not christened go to Hell (in my personal opinion) is untrue. I can't believe that if there is a God he would turn away an innocent child simply because they hadn't been blessed.

I would be quite happy if our child decided to follow a certain faith as they grow up, but think that is their decision to make not ours.

I would be really interested to hear what you have decided if you fancy sharing?

What is a humanist church? Who are you giving thanks to if you don't believe in God/s? Just curious.

Yes, she really does believe it. Mad as a box of frogs. I can't follow the logic of only baptised catholics and possibly other christians being allowed to vote but I feel that it's not a conversation worth getting into. "Conversations with my aunt" is a whole other thread!

I do agree that it's important to mark significant events in life but I believe that things should be marked in a way meaningful to those involved, not according to what others around them may expect.

I've been to several christenings where the parents were atheist, but the best local primary was a church one.....

I won't be christening mine, as I don't go to church, so to do so would be a bit weird imo. My mum might be disappointed, but she is a refreshingly non-interfering type, and my ILs really won't care.

I don't believe that there is such thing as a religious child. Once they have grown up and decided what they believe in they can do what they want.

I wouldn't bother getting my DC christened, however DH does have a sort of loose belief in a higher power (he's not entirely sure what it is, but he does have one) so he wanted the children christened. He is christened, I am not. None of the children on my side of the family are.

It would be hugely hypocritical of me to decide to have the children christened as I have no religious belief at all.

To that end, I left the entire arranging of DD's christening to him. All I did was turn up to the church sessions beforehand and on the day, and stayed silent. The same arrangement is in place for DS's christening.

I was raised staunchly roman catholic. I currently don't go to church for the following reasons:

1. they invited a pro life woman who started preaching about how abortion was murder in the homely.
2. The letter from our cardinal saying gay marriage was an abomination to God.

This makes me sad. Being raised as a catholic is full of happy memories for me. My first holy communion, harvest festivals, Sunday school, the calmness of going to benediction at the end of Wednesday at school, the sense of community and family going to church brings. Every week my entire extended family (all 60) got together and spent an hour as a whole. And I truly believe that my almost Buddhist sense of do unto others and socialist beliefs stems from being raised with Christian values.

So we face a bit of a dilemma. I want DD to have the same experiences. However, I am sick the back teeth of my church at the moment.

I know ultimately we will. Going to catholic school is important to me and i feel i would be robbing DD of opportunity if I took that away from er. Despite the fact I was from an impoverished background gong to a convent school gave me huge opportunity which enabled me to get into me of the best Unis in the country and get a job which means DD will have financial security. Given some of my childhood experiences is very high on my list of priorities

So I know when she is born I'll go back to church. And every time they bring up abortion or homosexuality we'll be leaving.

No, because we don't believe in God.

We will be having some sort of naming day/party though as we live abroad and its a good opportunity for UK family and friends to meet her.

Hi there. Just to add to a few of the other suggestions, I think you should really look into a humanist naming ceremony. I know it sounds horribly alternative (!) but its really not. It just allows you to have a lovely ceremony to welcome your child into the world surrounded by those you love. They can be officiated by humanist celebrants who work with you on the ceremony so you can choose whatever you want in it. You can have the ceremony wherever you like. We had a humanist wedding which basically meant we had a wedding where we wanted (under our favourite oak tree) and we got to choose what was said in the ceremony. So, for example, my grandma read a passage from the bible because she's religious and there were other religious guests there who we really wanted to respect, but we didn't have any religion anywhere else as we are not believers personally. It was a really great way of keeping everyone happy whilst doing things our own way with our integrity (hopefully!) in tact!

We're having a naming ceremony for our DTs at their first birthday this weekend.

Am really rather nervous about it !

I had DC1 baptised and will do the same for DC2. I was raised by religious parents but a bit of a heathen but it is important to DH so I did it to make him happy. Loved the service and party after and seemed right, despite my misgivings. Now DD has got into an excellent church school so that is an added bonus plus I get to go to the gym when DH takes her to church. Result.

Reallytired we're giving thanks to the family for their support, to each other (me and DH) and to the universe for the gift of our child. We're giving thanks that he's healthy, happy and celebrating the gift of him with some nice words and readings that we've chosen

This is a really interesting thread. We won't be christening our baby when he/she arrived because I don't believe in "God" in that way, my beliefs are more spiritual and I regularly attend a lovely Pagan group where everyone's beliefs about God are so varied and yet wholly devoted to being a good person and respecting nature and the balance of all things... It just makes sense to me and the way in which I live my life. DH was raised Catholic and had a horrible experience of church and was abused by the priest there when he was little, so religion for him has always been a strictly no-go area.

We will be having a naming ceremony, and I am getting one of my friends from my pagan group to do it. It has caused some controversy amongst the older members of my family, but at the end of the day it has a very similar structure to a christening - we name the baby and bless it with the four elements, ask the universe to watch over our special child and help them to walk their path with grace, understanding and acceptance. We are having something similar to God-parents, too - people who have, in our opinion, "moral fibre", who we hope the baby will be able to turn to in times of crisis or need.

I can't wait. Mostly because it will hopefully open the eyes of many of my family to see that my pagan ways are nothing scary or evil, but full of love and joy :)

Rowanhart I feel like you have written my reply!

I was raised RC, I've flirted with other parts of the Christian church during adulthood but ultimately returned to Catholicism.

But the recent strong anti-gay sentiment and the re-working of the liturgy by the hierarchy purely to show us 'little people' who is boss, has left me angry and non-attending.

I like our local priest and I'd like my as yet unborn child to go to the local RC primary (next door neighbours' kids go there and they speak highly of it) but I don't know how I feel about baptism right now.

My head says my anger is temporary and these very human issues will sort themselves out eventually and so I should have my DC baptised; my heart says wait until I feel happy enough with the church to go ahead.

I suspect if we don't have a baptism in the year or so post-birth we'll have a naming ceremony instead. My big Irish family loves a knees-up and I know you can have such ceremonies at the town hall nearby.

Rowanhart and whatsoever - I completely agree with everything you've both said.

No, because although I am a churchgoer and take dd along, my partner is an atheist. I also want to give her the choice when she's older (I was only confirmed a few months ago, aged 31).

I actually find it astonishing to see friends who never go to church, and have no intention of fulfilling the (very specific) promises they are making, stand in a church and make those vows to their child. It makes me uncomfortable.

To me it's pointless and hypocritical. I'm not offended as a Christian- I'm amazed that a parent would make empty promises to their child.

(Going to sound v God-bothery now but) to me, being Christian is about living the faith and its values, not performing the rituals and outward signs of faith. There are various passages in the Bible which tie into this.

We haven't had my DD christened for the exact same fact as you OP, my DH and I are not religious at all and never go to church, we were even married in a church, to be it would be totally hypocritical to stand up in church proclaiming this and that!

My DH's family were not very impressed- even though they never go to church, saying that his sister did start going to get my DN into the local school, which goes back to my point about being a hypocrite!

Whatsoever it's hard isn't it. The church feels like it is moving further and further away from my own liberal beliefs at the moment. I know we go through cycles but I'm finding it really hard to reconcile myself to so many of the teachings.

I'm not religious, but when i have babies there goingto be christened just incase they want to get married at a church. i christened my stillborn baby born. I just felt it'd be better never thought I would. X

You don't need to be "christened" to get married in church. All you have to do is live in the parish. However if you want to get married in a different church then you need to be on the electrol roll. You have to have been baptised and attend for 6 months inorder to be on the electrol roll.

My husband was baptised last June. It is an effort for adults to get baptised and usually they are confirmed at the same time or a week later in the case of my husband.