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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Find out the gender or Suprise?

34 replies

RileyLeeHargreaves2012 · 07/09/2012 19:51

Hey everyone,

I'm not pregnant but i thought it would be nice to have a conversation about finding out the gender or not :).

I found out with my first child at 21 weeks i was expecting a baby boy but he sadly died 2 weeks later. We named him Riley.

We decided to have a suprise when I got pregnant again after loosing Riley but I miscarried at 7 weeks. Next time we have decided to stick to having a surprise because we think finding out the sex last time jynxed it, it sounds silly.

I'll probably end up ripping my hair out but it will be a good experience and it will any family and friends more probably, which will be funny :D.

Any experiences? :)

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weeblueberry · 07/09/2012 20:02

I'm only just pregnant (very very early days) but should everything work out as we'd hope, I'll definitely be finding out. Definitely. I've got literally no patience and could never wait until 9 months to find out! I'll struggle to wait 20 weeks!!!

HaveALittleFaith · 07/09/2012 20:11

Hi RileyLee, sorry for your losses. I really like the name Riley. I'm 7 weeks pregnant with DC1. We're planning to find out. I know lots of people say its nice to have a surprise but DH is terrible with surprises! He wants to know now! :) Another 13 weeks will be hard enough! So we will be finding out. We may not tell other people and we definitely won't confirm the name until bump is born.

Original poster

RileyLeeHargreaves2012 · 07/09/2012 20:41

I think not telling anyone the name is the best thing, people my copy it :)!

I've found out once so its a suprise next time, I'm really happy for you both and hope that you both have healthy, full term babies :D

Do you think youll try for a surprise if you have a second baby?:)

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Jakeyblueblue · 07/09/2012 20:47

Def find out. I couldn't bare all those wishy washy beige and lemon unisex outfits! The day I found out I was having a boy I went wild in the aisles and bought allsorts of proper little boys clothes! Financially, it's def a good idea as I stocked up on clothes right up to 18 months before he was even born. I was Preg over Xmas so used the sales to my full advantage. I had also named him by about 25 weeks and do he was referred to by name long before we met him and I really felt it helped us all bond with him

HaveALittleFaith · 07/09/2012 20:48

To be honest, I just want to get through this pregnancy. it took so long to conceive I dunno if we could go for DC2! We'll see.

MJP1 · 07/09/2012 20:53

We have our 20 week scan in 2 weeks, so excied cannot wait, Have been feeling awlful for the past 16 weeks so thinking about seeing the bub again on screen is keeping me going, Had a wobble about finding out the sex, my other half wants to I wasnt too fussed, but now I cannot wait ( Hope we can see the sex but knowing my luck bub will be facing the wrong way) We plan to tell people the sex but will NOT be revealing our names until Bub is born in February. I can see how people do want the surprise but personally I know it will help us bond us all x

Rachel130690 · 07/09/2012 21:02

I couldn't wait. I asked at my 20 week scan and I'm glad I did. I always seen myself with a little girl it wanted a boy as there is hardly any in my family. I couldn't wait. Still have no name for my little boy who is 4 days late but I feel closer to him anyways. And being able to buy cute wee outfits for him is a great feeling :)

Original poster

RileyLeeHargreaves2012 · 07/09/2012 21:34

I defiantly wouldn't by beige and yellow clothes is save up and wait til the babies born. We nickname our babies riley was called monster abit random by boyfriend thinks of them. The next one is bambino haha:).

Faith im sure you'll have number two one day never give up, my aim is to have a healthy fullterm baby if not fullterm overdue haha:).

Mjp what are you wanting boy or girl? And racheal you no the right name when you meet him x

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HaveALittleFaith · 07/09/2012 21:38

I think we'll have this baby and see how we feel! I would love a girl, DH would love a boy but neither of us really mind! If I had to put money on it, I'd say girl!
I hoping you do get your family too :)

Ragwort · 07/09/2012 21:43

DH & I never wanted to find out - but I think its quite unusual these days , we genuinely had no interest in knowing, had no preference, didn't want to have to tell people, we had two names ready and it was a lovely surprise - the only issue was that I had to have an ELCS; I was knocked out and came round with only the doctor in the room; DH had asked him not to say anything as he wanted to tell me himself so I had to wait for DH to return with baby (boy ).

Beamur · 07/09/2012 21:45

We decided not to find out and wanted to be surprised. But I think most people enjoying knowing ahead and being able to plan and buy gender appropriate stuff. I don't think it matters really either way.

Original poster

RileyLeeHargreaves2012 · 07/09/2012 21:49

Faith ill have a healthy baby when the times right :).

Ragwort that sounds amazing! That's what experience i want well not the being knocked out part. Going through labour then give birth to find out the sex :)

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Original poster

RileyLeeHargreaves2012 · 07/09/2012 21:52

We've defiantly decided not to buy anything until the babies here beamur so no planning ahead for us appart from nappies and furniture :)

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Beamur · 07/09/2012 22:05

We didn't get much either (I'd had previous m/c and was a bit nervous) and I think I had a handful of babygros and white vests! (plus a cot)

backwardpossom · 07/09/2012 22:09

I had a boy last time but we didn't find out the sex before his birth. I'm 14 weeks with number two and I think I'd like to know this time, but they won't tell you here - I'd have to get a private scan and I don't want to pay £80-odd just to be told what I'm having. I'm too tight for that. Just want to make it through this pregnancy ok after a previous loss.

Shesparkles · 07/09/2012 22:09

I had a surprise with both of mine-couldn't beat the moment when the midwife handed ds to me and said "look what you've got"

Original poster

RileyLeeHargreaves2012 · 07/09/2012 22:16

I already have white fluffy coats, White vests, farm animal baby grows, snowsuits and a coat from riley.

I'm really happy for you all :D hopefully I'm next :)

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LylaLils · 08/09/2012 03:46

I think finding out the sex of the baby is a bit like opening your Christmas presents before Christmas day. It kind of spoils the day and the anticipation. But then I do love a surprise. We didn't want to find out, unfortunately we have had to go for extra growth scans later in the pregnancy and we both swear we saw a little willy on screen so now we're convinced its a boy. A bit gutted to have found out accidentally and at the final hurdle..but never mind. We've had to pretend to all friends and family that we still don't know the sex...quite amusing though as we now know those who are guessing wrong. Most of them are convinced its a girl haha

HaveALittleFaith · 08/09/2012 08:04

See I love surprises and could happily wait but honestly, DH likes to know what he's getting before he opens it! It was his birthday last week, he knew I'd bought him a football shirt. The only thing that was a surprise was whether it was the home or away kit! :)

picnicbasketcase · 08/09/2012 08:08

DS - hospital had a policy not to reveal the sex, so surprise

DD - paid for a scan to find out.

Would definitely find out if we had a third DC (although no plans to)

Very sorry for your losses OP

LauraPalmer · 08/09/2012 08:38

Our 20wk scan is also in 2 weeks and we're definitely finding out. I've got a DSS who is really excited about becoming a big brother to a brother, so we want to address any gender disappointment if it's a girl long before the baby arrives!

Orenishii · 08/09/2012 09:52

I really wanted to know, am really impatient and thought I'd never be able to not find out. But DH persuaded me not to and honestly, it was the best decision!

When we talk about our baby, there's no sense of pre-determining who they are or going to be. We haven't even really focussed too much on their name either, even though I'm 34+5. We figure we'll just know when we meet them, and the anticipation of meeting them is around who they are without that sense of so much has been decided already. I'm really put off by girls clothes or boys clothes anyway and wouldn't have bought into that so much regardless of knowing or not. I've just bought a lot of clothes that have spotty, stripey or cute animal prints and besides, they'll be in baby gros a lot of the time. I can't abide baby jeans - the materials looks/feels so harsh and stiff!

I'm going to ask the midwife not to announce the sex but rather, have DH "discover" it. As much as we can, we want space during the birth for us to get on with it with DH coaching me through it and the midwives on hand in the background, and I think it adds an extra level of "amazingness" for DH to be involved and find out in that way.

I dunno - each to their own and all that, but coming from the perspective of someone who definitely wanted to know, I'm glad DH persuaded me not to find out.

EmpireBiscuit · 08/09/2012 09:58

We were definitely not going to find out but hard it would have been hard to miss him proudly displaying himself at 20 week scan - knowing hasn't altered how I feel about the birth or meeting my baby.

Original poster

RileyLeeHargreaves2012 · 08/09/2012 16:10

I think a suprise will be a brilliant experience even though i will be very tempted to find out haha!

I'm really happy for you all, get sleeping you'll need it haha :).

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Original poster

RileyLeeHargreaves2012 · 08/09/2012 16:13

Orenishii I'm pinching your idea of the midwife not prouncing the gender :P.
It'll mean so much more coming from my boyfriend that would never cross my mind :D. I'm not even pregnant and i have everything sorted :).

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