ultrasound pics on facebook?

[Lovelylace]

Right, tbh I dont really care if people want to put their ultrasound pivs of their children on facebook, but it has alwasy been a no no for me personally..This is a little individual i am carrying and I think that it is a bit of an infringement on his/her integrity if I start posting pics of them in my utereus on a public forum..now to the issue...i am swedish and both my parents live back home. I have e-mailed both my parents (they are separated) pics form the ultrasound which they have enjoyed and it makes them feel part of this pregnancy even though they cannot be here with me in person..I have never forbid them outright to put the pics on there and as I am now 15 +3 weeks preggers I have no problems with them telling their friends and family about their coming grandchild..providing nothing bad happens...however today i find that my dad have posted ALL the ultrasound pics on FB and tagged me in the pics so that they have popped up on my wall as well..I am not much on there but use it to easily stay in touch with old friends and family back home...now of course there have been an onslaught in wellwishers and questions from not very close acquintances, which is nice but I still would have liked to kept to images private, and some of the people that I have as friends there are collegues, and I havent yet told my boss I am pregnant..which wasent how I wanted the news to reach my boss, and this will undoubtedly cause friction when i come back to work on Monday after holidays... not happy with my dad, and have sent him a polite mail to take them down..even though the damage is probably already done...anyway I am overreacting...maybe it aint such a bad thing..sooner or later people will find out, and maybe some ultrasound pics is not really such a bad thing to have on a public forum??

Personally I have no problem with scan photos on Facebook. I have photos of my other dc on their so don't really see the difference between that and the scan. I wouldn't put naked photos on but a scan pic just isn't like that some how IMO. I think it's a nice way to share the excitement and this is probably all your dad thought too.

However the issue with your boss finding out before you told him is a bit more tricky. I guess all you can do is approach your boss straight away and apologise making it clear that you intended to tell him in person and you did not post these pics.

Maybe have a chat with your dad, explain that it put you in a tricky position and then ask if in the future he checks what photos he can share on Facebook first with you.

I think perceiving putting a scan picture on Facebook as an infringement of your baby's integrity a complete over-reaction, but hey, it's your baby that's up to you.

Nowadays if you don't want something to go on Facebook you have to tell people not to do it. People post all sorts of things. The done thing would be To say "here is my scan photo - no mention on Facebook please" .

It is a shame for you it's all come out like this and embarrassing at work but next time tell people what they can and cannot post.

I put mine online because I have family and friends that I never see (they also live abroad) and other than posting out loads of pictures or emailing them, it was easier for them to all see one picture in once place.

Regardless of your reasons, I think you're absolutely right to ask your dad to remove them. Its your choice and he should respect that. I wouldn't say you're over-reacting at all, it's your news to tell as and when you want to, not his. My dad did the same when I got engaged and also when I got pregnant, he told friends and family members but said 'don't let her know I told you' which was annoying but very typical of my dad.

of course its "each to their own" when it comes to what you put on FB, and I probably should have told him specifically NOT to put them up..I just took for granted that noone would post pics that sort of "doesent belong" to them on there...my mistake I presume...I know that i wouldnt like me being on there as a foetus, but perhaps that's just me, I dont particulary want pics on me in labour on there either, nor pics of baby straight out of the womb as i have seen some examples of...ahh well.. I have in the last minutes had a rather "interesting" phone call from my boss..and I did explain and luckily he realised how it all came about and as we do work close together and he knows me well all is cleared up...although I will frfom now on give VERY specific instructions to dad in the future...he does have a tendency to NOT EVER being able to keep a secret...worse gossip than any woman

Sammy- "My dad did the same when I got engaged and also when I got pregnant, he told friends and family members but said 'don't let her know I told you' which was annoying but very typical of my dad. "
That sounds exactly like something my dad would do as well...and he is a proper FB addict...i mean yeah it is rather good for keeping in touch with people but I REALLY do not need to see updates about all the little mundane things he does on there..bless he is retired now and probably misses going to work...idle hands do the devils work or however the saying goes...

I'm against it.
then OH went and added them with Massive headings in caps: LOOK AT OUR BEAUTIFUL UNBORN BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and tagged all and sundry in them

At least he shows an interest!

I think scan pictures are lovely - its been a way of quite a few people I know announcing it.

I'd be really pissed off if a family member posted my news on fb or anywhere else.

I had a friend who, on hearing of my son's birth, promptly emailed the news to all of the rest of our circle of friends. It annoyed me a bit because I had been looking forward to telling them myself.

Can you ask your Dad to take them down?

You can opt to check all facebook 'tags' of you before they get accepted - go to 'Privacy Settings' --> 'Timeline and Tagging'. Doesn't help with your current situation, but will stop the same thing happening in future.

I'd feel the same as you personally and DH doesn't like fb and even gets a bit upset if I put pics/comments of him on, aside nice wedding ones, despite my profile being super private. However I can also see you've a super excited grandad there! Each to their own however and I don't condone others pics. (though felt those fb apps that told me progress of an acquaintance's foetus a little disconcerting)

Some of my opinion comes from being a special needs teacher - we've had lots of training around internet stuff particularly as some of our (primary aged) pupils with autism are exceptionally good at reading, spelling and computer stuff and I've been shocked by some of the scrapes they've got into eg FB, youtube etc, they are very vulnerable but have had access to bad stuff including chat things. It's led me to be very aware of what goes on the internet and how things can remain and I've not even really put any pregnancy related comments or allowed wall questions related to it as id like to tell people how things are going more privately. (though those who do know, understand the cake related comments more fully!)

It also freaked me out when I got engaged and changed status how suddenly all the fb adverts included lots of wedding stuff!

I'm still debating putting photos of new baby on though I agree its a lovely way to see how friends around the world's children are growing up. (im 28 wks) I know people who strictly don't even do that, funnily enough a mother who is a web designer is one.

Not sure what to advise though I'd probably have asked him to remove them too, and gently explain your concerns. The world uses social networking so readily now that unless you have direct experience of its bad sides its hard to see why some may feel uneasy. As birdbrained said, perhaps have a good look at your privacy settings and how you group your friends, manage tags etc.

I didn't put mine on FB, not because of the baby's privacy, but because of my own. I told everyone who mattered in real life and I'm not bothered about making an announcement to people I only vaguely keep in touch with on FB. I'd be really pissed off at my dad if I were you. It's your baby, so your choice. Make sure he takes them down and it's worth telling him that you're really happy he's excited, but you like to keep personal things like that off FB.

It's definitely a personal thing and your dad should have asked you first.

If it helps, I had to tell work ASAP before I had told my parents, and my boss managed to leave a message on my mums answer machine (rang my emergency contact by mistake) telling her about pregnancy before I got a chance!

I don't think you are overeacting. But, personally, I wouldn't have my boss as a Facebook friend either. It's just risky to mix your worlds that way.

I put up photos of the scan, and also pics of when they're little, but I think some people go totally overboard (one friend shared every detail of her son's potty training with all her friends - not that we were interested!- but I can only hope by the time he's old enough to do social media that it's been completely superseded by something else).

The thing I find really weird? People who replace their own profile photo with that of their child. It's as though their own personality has become entirely subsumed in that of their infant. I find it bizarre and a bit disturbing.

ZuleikaD me too! its so odd. I say to friends 'that's not your face'

-good point about changing my settings it is now done.

-dad has got a bit of a flea in his ear for doing it, however I do realise he is only excited, and as my little brother is no longer with us (he comitted suicide 2 years ago), and me having massive problems falling pregnant, this is a hugely positive thing in his life and even though I am a tad bit annoyed I am also understanding his excitement and wanting to shout this from the rooftops.

-my boss is not one of my friends on facebook...I work as a fashion designer and a woman I previously worked with is now a good friend of mine, we are no longer working together but she is a friend on FB, and when she saw the pics on there she thought it was now out in the open..she in her turn knows my boss on a personal level and he is one of her friends on FB, he saw her post congratulating me as a comment on one of the pics..soo a bit complicated but that is how my boss found out..

eggsmichelle- gosh what did your mum say about that?

Clarella- interesting points you make, and this is one of the reasons why I dont like to much personal information being posted on FB..it can be a tad dangerous, and DP hates Fb too and hates anyone putting up any pics of him...he loads it..

purplecatti- bless him..as you say at least he is interested and by the sounds of it hugely excited and proud

It's just naff. There's one girl in there has already named her child and puts comments from her to her DP. Like happy fathers dy. makes me want to puke.

Many people find scan pictures on fb upsetting - unless you know the history of all your fb friends you can't tell how they may feel. It's not the same as a picture of your child once it's born.

I'm with iggi777. Haven't had friends post them on FB (tbh I never use it) but colleagues have sent round scan pics with no warning in the subject and I've found it really upsetting, just too much of a reminder of my scan when I found out I'd had a mmc. Fine for close friends (although I also feel like the baby should get some privacy) but not acquaintances.

The last two comments are points of view I hadn't considered, but I think important to take on board - I'm hyper sensitive to the fact that many of my friends are suffering the heartache of ttc also let alone mc.

I'd be really annoyed by this - I'm quite funny about facebook an what goes on it. I didn't put any scan or pregnant pics up. I have put a few of my DD up, but alsums are limited to family and close friends only.

My Dh's cousin posted a birth anouncement of OUR baby on there tagging us both with all of the private details about weight and time etc while I was still in hospital getting my perineum stitched back together. I found out as I received texts from people congratulating me on the birth when, as far as I was concerned, no-one knew! I was so upset an angry about it. It still upsets me now when I think about it. I did send an aggressive email to her as soon as I got home telling her to take it down and how it was incredibly innappropriate. I also delted a lot of people from my friends list (icluding her) and changed all of my settings.
I don't imagine she will do it to anyone else now

"Nowadays if you don't want something to go on Facebook you have to tell people not to do it. "

that's just backwards to me! if its a pic of someone else's child it is up to the person posting to ask first surely!

If the OP didn't put them up herself then I think its implied that she didn't want them up at all

I totally agree its not on to post other peoples pictures on facebook even if you have emailed them to the person. Thats what i have done with my family that i want to know until after the 20 week scan when it will be ok to make it public and i would be angry if they put the pictures up

in fact, the very fact that she emailed the photos rather than facebooking them is saying that she doesn't want them all on facebook

If I have a friend who has facebook but emails photos of their DCs or our DCs together I know never to hare pics I take of their DCs via facebook and to email them instead - it's implied!

For future issues like this, change your settings so you can't be tagged in anything until you've approved the tag.

And your dad absolutely should not have put them on there. But I guess he's just excited and wanted to share, and didn't think about how you'd feel about it. When I told my dad I was something like 6 weeks pg with my first child he sent a whole bloody email announcing to all his friends and family, and copied me in! Er, thanks dad!