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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Baby has turned, have been 'signed off' by consultant - now I have no reason NOT to have a homebirth and I am nervous!

83 replies

Enid · 16/03/2006 09:46

So I finally saw the consultant yesterday and he told me the baby was a good size, low and now headfirst. He said I seemed very healthy and should have no problems with a homebirth - to enjoy it and he wouldn't see me again unless any complications arose.

So now after having a few weeks thinking I may have to have a c-section I am back in the homebirth arena - and petrified!

Positive homebirth stories please, especially ones that happened after a traumatic hospital birth...

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
lockets · 16/03/2006 10:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blu · 16/03/2006 10:53

Oh, and the obstetrician said that if I'd been in hospital, DS would have been a CS baby.

Sari · 16/03/2006 10:53

I had dd at home (after ds1 and ds2 in hospital) and it was so much better. Quite apart from the sheer joy of not having to go anywhere afterwards, dd has always been a very calm baby and I put a lot of that down to being born peacefully at home.

It was very important to me not to have to worry about sending the children anywhere for a long time while I was in hospital. In the event they were asleep upstairs when their sister was born and then woke up in the morning to find her.

Another thing is that on one of the midwife's visits to check dd a few days later she said that babies born at home were far less likely to pick up infections, suffer from sticky eyes etc,

Plus there will always be a special spot in your house that you can look at and think, "ah, that's where db was born." For us it's the sofa and sitting room carpet, plus a manky old green beanbag.

WideWebWitch · 16/03/2006 10:53

No, I agree, you don't have anything to prove, don't have a home birth if you're worried about it.

(Hey, you can still go for a section if you want one! Wink)

PrincessPeaHead · 16/03/2006 10:57

great news about the turning (and I ccan't resist an "I told you so" Grin).

you will be FINE. i had 2 fantastic home births after two ok but not brilliant hosp ones. there is no comparison - by every single measure (important and trivial), home birth is fantastic and much nicer. and aswell as soupy's point of the thrill of gettinhg your address on the birth cert, you ALSO get the name of your village on the "place of birth" bit of the passport! which is amusing.....

you will be fine. hurrah!

wilbur · 16/03/2006 11:12

Oooh enid - how exciting. Ds2 was born at home, arrived in about 4 hrs altogether and it was fabulous. Now, I'm not enough of a hippy to say the pain was incidental to the joyous experience, and I certainly had a couple of moments of blind panic along the lines of "WTF am I doing in a paddling pool in my darkened front room when what I really need is a mallet to the head to take the pain away? That aromatherapy candle is really not doing it". HOWEVER, those moments were fleeting and I would do it again tomorrow - the recovery was amazingly different to the others, ds2 was so mellow, didn't cry when he was born just looked at me and at dh like he wasn't surprised to see us at all.

My other births were a bit dramatic - emergency cs for ds1 after pushing for 3 hrs and he got stuck. Dd was a vbac with ventouse (no epidural ouch!) as my labour was progressing v fast, they hadn't assigned me a midwife and when they finally looked at her heart trace they realised they were monitoring mine not hers, then they panicked that hers was taking a bit long to come up between contractions (it wasn't, as it turned out, they interpreted wrong) and so a random midwife who just happened to be passing called the OB who did the ventouse and when dd arrived she took one look at the 15 people suddenly assembled in the room and said, in babyh screams, "What did you do that for? I was doing fine on my own".

Sorry, a bit long there, but yes, sucessful hb after two crappy experiences.

motherinferior · 16/03/2006 11:13

Enid, DD1's birth was totally shitty and appalling - I didn't want to hold her afterwards, I just wanted EVERYONE to f*ck off and leave me to sleep. It was awful.

DD2's birth was amazing, by contrast: seven hours start to finish, in my own front room. Yes, it hurt. Yes, I thought right at the end 'I can't do this, I have to go to hospital'. But - and I'm getting revoltingly drippy here - it was also the most wonderful thing I have ever done in my life. I was at home, in my own space, with midwives (one of whom I'd never met before, one of whom I'd met once) who were utterly marvellous at lending me exactly the support I needed, and then taking control at a point when I wanted to hand over control.

That was my experience. Yours may be different. If you do decide on home, please do hire a pool.

Email me if you'd like!
xxxxxx

Enid · 16/03/2006 11:17

wow thanks everyone so many replies

am saving them to read when I get home as am having day from hell in office

but my eye was attracted to:
"WTF am I doing in a paddling pool in my darkened front room when what I really need is a mallet to the head to take the pain away? That aromatherapy candle is really not doing it".

I guess that is where my panic is coming from Grin

OP posts:
Blu · 16/03/2006 11:20

Yes, get a pool! Are you planning a pool? You don't have to deliver in it if you don't want, but it was brilliant for contractions.

wilbur · 16/03/2006 11:22

But as I said, that thought lasted about 2 nanoseconds, and was replaced with the thought that I am amazon woman, strong and brave and really terribly clever to have produced baby at home. I'm still on a high about it 7 months later and have told all sorts of embarrassed folk every gory detail. Grin

fennel · 16/03/2006 11:24

get gas and air. i had it for my home birth. would not have contemplated it without.

dd3 was breech at 32 weeks and I really did hope she'd stay breech so i could have an elective caesarian rather than the planned home birth. she turned and i had the home birth, it was ok. as births go. better than the others.

who said it wasn't very messy though? i said that to someone recently about my home birth and my sister put me straight - she'd dealt with all the mess while i was oblivious. apparently it was pretty messy. blood everywhere.

Bozza · 16/03/2006 11:29

But Enid I had one of those thoughts when in hospital having DS although it was more along the lines of "WTF am I doing with my legs in these stirrups and this needle in my hand and this monitoring thing on my belly". Actually I think that sounds like a transition-y kind of thought.

My reasons for having the home birth sound similar to Elliotts and first time round I was dead against it. DS was a big baby (9 10) so I suppose I was lucky that DD was smaller (8 12). I am a smallish frame and 5' 4. I had the idea of leaning over the birthing ball to give birth but in the end I was stood leaning over the bed and DD virtually fell out - what does that say about me? Grin Was a bit weak kneed afterwards, mind you.

Bozza · 16/03/2006 11:32

Doesn't matter though does it Fennel if you are not aware. The midwives were amazingly good at tidying up. I bought a smartprice sheet for the bed which was chucked after use. My MIL insisted on taking the bloody nightie and the rest of our washing with her. Got a slight stain down the side of the mattress. That was all.

motherinferior · 16/03/2006 11:34

Oh god, yes, gas and air, definitely. Wonderful stuff. Bombed out of my brain, I was, quite marvellous.

dinosaur · 16/03/2006 11:34

Enid, I'm really pleased for you, whilst understanding your trepidation too! Go for it girl, I'm sure you'll have a fabulous home birth.

Am quite surprised to find myself Envy, I had a very good-drug-free-supported-by-doula-and-all-that-delivery third time around, but it still had to be in hospital!

expatinscotland · 16/03/2006 11:36

the gas & air worked well for me whilst giving birth to dd1. but w/dd2, it made me feel like i couldn't breathe and sick to my stomach.

so i went au naturel!

have it to hand, enid, deffo, but you know how it is, go w/the flow.

if i had to do it again i'd do it at home. but that ain't gonna happen Wink

elliott · 16/03/2006 11:44

My two births (hospital and home) were pretty similar in terms of pain. Yes in both of them I had a moment of 'omg I can't possibly do this, I'm goign to die, this is unbearable' but that's just part of labour isn't it (transition specifically)? I suppose I had already had the experience of birth with only gas and air so I had the confidence that it could be done - certainly it was never the idea of pain that scared me about home birth, just the thought of something unexpectedly going wrong. But then my view of labour is something pretty unpleasant that just has to be got through for a really amazing outcome - certainly there is nothing like the feeling of achievement and relief afterwards, but that doesn't make the before bit enjoyable imo!

There was hardly any mess with mine - virtually no blood loss - we binned the cheap duvet I'd been kneeling on, but that was part of the plan.

Definitely the best bit was not having to go anywhere, and just avoiding being in hospital with strangers and away from dh.

I actually positively decided against a pool - mainly because I knew the midwives weren't experienced with it and I very much wanted them to feel confident and comfortable - but also because it was new to me too and I didn't feel I needed any additional unknown quantities in the mix.

Rhubarb · 16/03/2006 11:58

Enid - I had a home birth after a horrible hospital one. I had severe pre-natal depression with dd, and the whole hospital experience felt just like every last bit of control was being taken away from me. The midwives were abrupt, they didn't read my notes, they just wanted me to get on with it. I was doing just fine on my own, but this young midwife told me that I was going to be in considerable pain for some hours and she thought I should have Pethadine. Now on my notes the doctor had written no Pethadine on account of my mental state, but she was so insistent that I just gave in. Then she must have read the notes because she came back in and said that I couldn't have pethadine and I really ought to have an epidural before it's too late.

I didn't want one, but felt bullied into it. The anaestheticist was rude to me, obviously he didn't appreciate being called into the labour ward. He gave me the injection in the middle of a contraction, it was just awful! I had everything done to me that I didn't want doing.

So when I was pregnant with ds I wanted to take some control back, most of all I never wanted to go into the hospital again. Plus everyone kept telling me that I couldn't have a home birth, everyone they'd knew who had wanted one had ended up going into hospital, etc, this just made me more determined to have one.

I'm the kind of person who takes a paracetamol if I have a slight headache, I don't put up with pain lightly. I'm a big wuss and have nightmares about the horrors of broken bones or operations. I even cancelled the removal of a mole because I was scared! So I was really the wrong type of person to go in for a home birth.

But you know, it wasn't all that bad! The labour pains came slowly and I managed them fine. I had a birthing ball that really helped, but nothing else, no pain relief. I even started to bake a cake (don't tell Custy!). When the strong pains came, they came thick and fast. I'd gone from 3cm to fully dilated in half an hour. The midwife was going to leave me when she realised! I squatted on the birthing ball, I didn't have to push much, he found his own way down. The pain is really hard to describe, it's an internal thing, primeval. You just get on with it, looking back I don't know what took over, but some kind of instinct kicked in. It was much better than I had envisaged!

None of my worst fears came true. Like you, I was kinda hoping something would come up that would prevent me from going through with it! But nothing did, and I'm glad it didn't! It was a lovely positive experience!

Before I did it, I used to wonder what mental state women were in when they described births as a positive experience, but now I understand! It is one of my prouder moments!

So go for it girl! You can do it!

Enid · 16/03/2006 12:50

right am going to print this therad and read it now

xx

OP posts:
MissChief · 16/03/2006 14:01

yeah, I bypassed the aromatherapy candle, trance-like music, whatever too but the pool is different - was essential for me, wouldn't have been without it!

MissChief · 16/03/2006 14:10

sorry, should try and be more helpful about it - pool essential IMO not only for pain-relief (I found it better than gas & air but they worked great in combination) but also as a retreat from the world. I spent much of my labour with my back to everyone, in the corner of the pool gazing out of the back window looking at my cat, the birds etc (it was a summer evening) - for me it wouldn't have been the same without a special place just for the birth such as this. We went with the Active Birth Centre who were v reliable and have a range of pools (no heaters though so depends on yr plumbing). HTH

PrincessPeaHead · 16/03/2006 17:53

pool crucial

Bozza · 16/03/2006 21:45

Now I have to say in my instance a pool would have been a waste of time. Probably wouldn't have got it filled. Think that is me though - I mean it was a 5 hour labour

Bozza · 16/03/2006 21:47

so plenty of time really. But then also time to make sure I had 2 midwives and childcare for DS but didn't manage either of those.

LadyTophamHatt · 17/03/2006 18:00

Will it be a homebirth then, enid?

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