Refusing antenatal care

[WeeDot]

This is a bit if a sad thread. Dp works with a guy who is from Scotland and whose gf is pregnant. They live in England and this guy is fiercely anti English, so much so that he didn't allow her to see any medical professionals during her pregnancy. No Mw , no hearing the heartbeat, no anomaly scan, no bp check, or pre eclampsia, no urine check she went it alone.

Just found out tonight that they had a stillborn as the cord was around its neck and there was no medical help.

What a phenomenal waste of a tiny life.

I understand that antenatal care is not compulsory but for the sake of proving a point you would risk the life of your partner and baby.

Words fail me. R.i.p little baby

Obviously very sad, however are you sure that not having any of that was the reason? Sounds like something that has happened to women who have had every checkup under the sun too.

I guess she made it to term ok but if she had been in hospital or had a Mw present a cord around the neck is usually not a problem.

Just very sad

So she gave birth at home alone?

Yes, because of his refusal to accept English healthcare.

I guess it could have gone perfectly well too, I suppose I am just flabbergasted that you would not want to know everything was ok.

I wonder how many people do refuse antenatal care, I know you don't have to have it, at least I think so.

So why is he in England?

Good question. I asked Dp that and he was stumped too.

Are you sure you are getting the whole story?

How strange, and sad. I was also tempted to ask why they are living in England, but then thought of my own father who has lived here for 50 years but still - when in his cups - rants on about how much he hates the feckin place and all the feckin people living in it.

Did your dp hear this directly from his workmate?

Obv it is second hand, but maybe there is some info missing. I hope there is more to it than stubbornness.

That's abusive, controlling behaviour. The anti English thing is a red herring.

The 'anti English' bit is crap if you ask me.

Probably 'anti women', 'abusive man' and controlling bastard who won't let her have any involvement with outside agencies

Would he be anti English health care if he broke his leg ?

Lots more to this

Yes he heard it from the father, I have it on good authority he is an abusive arsehole to most people he meets, maybe you are onto something there

if true,this is other issues

X post tethers - my slow typing!

Yy to the controlling thing.
He is abusive.
If he wasn't his GF would have gone to ante natal and ed at his rants.
But she was too scared to go against his wishes.
Unless she is as racist as him?

it's discriminatory to be antienglish.not racist
given English isn't a race
nor is Scottish a race

Yy I agree, she would have had to be complicit or very scared of him.

I agree it does sound far fetched, I was shocked too, but it is absolutely true.

how v dreadful and potentially avoidable

Not really the point sm

I hope the poor woman gets the help she do obviously needs to get away from this abusive arsehole.

on the contrary exactly the point
you misused racism as reason
this isn't racism, at all

No I used racism as the alternative to her being terrified if him.
I.e she agreed with his views on the English.

You can call it what you like. I don't have to agree and it's hardly the most important point.

But.im.sure you.will come up with.something suitably scathing.and difficult to.make head nor,tail of in.reply

yes and antienglish is discriminatory
not racist
neither English or Scottish is a race

pertinent is he is so omnipotent that she didn't access antenatal care
by force or threat or he exerted his will
devastatingly the baby dies

Man sounds like an abusive twat whatever his accent.

Poor woman

Poor baby