sundae I felt exactly the same before my scans, I had a mmc last time, nearly 14wks, when I found out, I googled the chances etc obsessively this time. Was such a mess at the scan the sonographer told me could I please breath twice.
I had a scan at 10, 13, 20+6 and one last week, only the one last week did I go into excited. Babys wriggling lots now and that helps. I won't lie and say its easy, I had a family wedding saturday and was so worked up and stressed (and had also removed my kick counter as I was dressed up) I didn't (think) I felt the baby move until 3pm, dp was providing ice water until the little bugger kicked I felt my world had stopped, I couldn't talk eat or breath properly, then the music started at the reception and boy did I know the little monkey was there!
I was brave this weekend, I spent time with our new nephew, he was due a few weeks after I should have been. First visit was hard, agonising even, especially seeing dp hold him. The distraction of being at the wedding reception made it easier and by sunday I couldn't put him down, scrumptious 6wk old baby boy! I kept saying to dp, he's so small, babies are so small!!! Dd is almost four and I'd forgotten how tiny they are, he was 9lb 13oz when he was born aswell so not tiny! But he seemed it.
Anyway I'm off, I need more ice 