Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

All too stressful - all a bit much

76 replies

desperatehousewife · 12/03/2006 17:03

I had a stillbirth at the end of November (at 25 weeks) the post mortem showed that there was absolutely no reason for it, which means that I can go on and have another child if I want.

I've always wanted a second child (DS is 3.8) and want to do it sooner rather than later for all sorts of reasons.

Was quite shocked to discover I was pregnant 6 weeks ago, only 3 months after my bad experience. Have been experiencing a whole range of strong emotions since.

Since Tuesday night I started bleeding a little, and since then it's been on and off. Because of the stress of my last pregnancy I was advised to go and have a scan last week and they can see what they think is an empty sac. This either means miscarriage, blighted ovum or that it's just too early to see a fetal pole. Have another scan at the end of this next week to see if there is a baby there or not.

I am expecting the worst because i have to. I've had lower back ache, feeling sick, now have hideous cold and feel bloody miserable.

Totally lost it last night as it would have been the due date of my last baby. Just can't quite believe that this could happen and my confidence is feeling at rock bottom. Not sure I can put myself or my family through this again. (what i mean is going through another pregnancy and the fear of losing the baby).

sorry, just needed to offload.

OP posts:
welshmum · 14/03/2006 12:06

Hope everything goes ok for you, it's a right old rollercoaster once you're on it. Don't have any further advice to add just have been through similarish stuff and wanted to say I was thinking of you. (I bled right through pg with dd and it all worked out fine - stressful as hell though)

Original poster
desperatehousewife · 16/03/2006 11:05

blimey - had my scan this morning and there is a baby with a heartbeat! I can't believe it. Feel very excited (quietly!).

OP posts:
JackieNo · 16/03/2006 11:10

Sorry - haven't followed all your threads, but this sounds like great news - very Grin for you.

Katemum · 16/03/2006 11:16

That's lovely news.

blueshoes · 16/03/2006 12:16

dhw, so happy to hear that Smile

Marina · 16/03/2006 12:19

Grin, how lovely. Very happy for you DHW.

welshmum · 16/03/2006 12:32

That's fantastic - congrats and take care of yourself

Rhubarb · 16/03/2006 12:33

Smile Very pleased for you!

majormoo · 16/03/2006 13:31

that is fantastic news.

pucca · 16/03/2006 15:17

Really really fab DHW...So pleased for you Grin xxxxxxxx

Original poster
desperatehousewife · 16/03/2006 15:39

aw, thanks everyone!

OP posts:
Pinchypants · 16/03/2006 15:46

Hurray! I can't imagine how relieved you must feel. Hope you can relax a bit and enjoy the rest of a healthy pregnancy now honey.
Pinchy xx

oops · 16/03/2006 18:32

Grin so pleased for you

mrsdarcy · 16/03/2006 18:56

Great news DHW Smile. I lost a baby at 19 weeks and my subsequent pregnancy was immensely stressful. If I was to do it all again I would decline all the extra scans I was offered Grin

mrsdarcy · 16/03/2006 19:07

Sorry, I didn't mean that post to look so inappropriately grinny.

TearsBeforeBedtime · 16/03/2006 21:45

so glad to hear the scan went well today! how many weeks do they reckon you are now?

Original poster
desperatehousewife · 17/03/2006 08:44

why would you have declined the scans?

I'm 6+4....and it's going painfully slowly!

OP posts:
mrsdarcy · 17/03/2006 09:38

I found that I got very panicky before each scan, then I was on a high after the scan and for a few days, then slowly downhill again until the next one. I had fortnightly scans and although it was very reassuring to see DD's heartbeat I got into the most awful state waiting for each scan.

My baby's death the previous year had been confirmed by scan so scans are something I associate with bad news.

At about 23 weeks I decided that I would stop having so many scans, as I was coping better and feeling plenty of movement - and that was when they found a problem with the baby so the rest of the pregnancy involved even more scans and worry Sad.

The problem does not seem to be affecting DD's development and frankly I wish I didn't know about it. Since then I've heard of a lot of people whose pregnancies are blighted by this sort of thing.

The consultant was upset about it too as she had offered all the scans to reassure me, and it totally backfired.

blueshoes · 17/03/2006 09:50

hi mrsdarcy, sorry to hear of your traumatic experience with scans. My pregnancy was blighted by scans, as was the birth and subsequent monitoring of dd ... but there WAS something wrong with dd's heart which if missed at the scan stage, would have meant my dd might have gone into congestive heart failure before the friendly neighbourhood HV/GP would have picked it up after birth. I believe we were very lucky to have it picked up at the scan, because the defect was so subtle on the screen.

Scans are a doubleedged sword. I respect your decision not to go down that route again. Don't dh and I know about the black cloud that precedes a scan and the confusion and panic that follows. But for a small minority of babies, they could be life saving.

mrsdarcy · 17/03/2006 09:57

Yes, good point blueshoes. I guess i would think about a 20 week scan for those reasons but decline regular scans if they were being offered prely for reassurance.

I hope your dd is ok now.

blueshoes · 17/03/2006 10:08

God, no! Scans for reassurance is a contradiction in terms, if all other signs are well from the 20 week scan and movement.

emkana · 17/03/2006 20:45

I hate scans too - even though I can see why they are useful.

zephyrcat · 29/03/2006 15:53

Hi DHW - I just saw something on another thread that made me wonder if you were pg again so had to come and find you to say a huge congratulations! Sorry to read that it's been so worrying for you so early on but also brilliant that your scan went well Grin Awww that's made my day!!! Grin

Original poster
desperatehousewife · 29/03/2006 15:56

hi there! Thanks! It is taking FOREVER though. The longest pregnancy! I've been in maternity clothes for nearly a year!!!

Feel sick as a parrot but v. happy.

How are you doing?? When are you due?

OP posts:
zephyrcat · 29/03/2006 20:29

Hiya :) Booked in for a CS on Wednesday.... after all the hassle I had getting dates etc it's finally happening! Bloody nervous though!!

Look forward to seeing all your updates...fantastic news :) xxx

Swipe left for the next trending thread