Bump at 28 weeks

[Plunkett]

Hello
I've spent the week with everyone (family, work collegues, strangers) telling me how big I am! Beginning to get me down and worry me. Someone at work even joked about starting a sweep-stake on how wide i'll be when I leave :(
I'm 5ft9 and usually a size 10. 2nd pregnancy and 6 yrs older so expected to show earlier, also having a different sex (dd this time, ds before) so don't know if this makes a difference or just a myth. I can still get my pre-maternity trousers on legs, just belly is huge.
Just wondering how others are feeling, thanks.

People are so rude.

This time round pg with dc2 I was very big before 20 weeks with a pretty big bump, was measuring big but it has slowed down and I'm not so massive now.

Just ignore them.

Thanks nearly I was hoping I might just be showing earlier and growth would slow down so that's really reassuring to hear.
I started the week laughing it off but maybe having a sensitive week because by yesterday eve I felt really upset by it.

Hi Plunkett

I am also 28wks and also getting the "you are massive" comments at every turn. Even the silly child girl at hairdressers was debating how pregnant I was based on my size

Its so damn rude! It really gets me down and i know how hard it it is to ignore them.

Maybe we should comment on how large their respective arses are getting recently?

Yep I get this aaaaall the time, and according to MW I'm measuring spot on - so don't sweat it. I think maybe people are just always surprised how large pregnant women actually get? It's easy to forget once your own kids are grown, I think.

Hi Gingerbread

Ha ha, maybe I should try that - I never think of a witty come back till i'm walking away though :)

Don't suppose we can win - pregnancy seems to be an open invitation for all to say whatever they want to you.

oh definately. Everyone has an opinion they arent afraid to share.

It really gets up my nose!

I'm only 26+4 and the receptionist at my chiropractor yesterday assumed I was already on maternity leave (I'm a teacher so she thought I wouldn't be going back) so when I said, well no, have about 7wks back, she said "You're big aren't you?". I just agreed with a smile.

I feel big, certainly compared to with my DD, but I haven't been measured by the MW yet, so can't be sure. I measured myself last night & I came up with about 25cm, so about 'right' This baby is also bigger than DD was at the scans so it might not be just that my muscles are shot!!!

I'm glad it's not just me! I'm also 28 weeks & constantly being told how big i am when i know i am measuring fine. Normally I try not to be too sensitive but haven't been doing too well with that over the last week!

I have discovered though that if you tell people it's all cake that it normally shuts them up!

Well I am 30 weeks and I am big. I am measuring right, my weight gain is reasonable and my BMi is still healthy but I am BIG. People calls them as they sees em.... Largely it doesn't bother me but occasionally when the hormones are raging it makes me want to deck people.

I'm nearly 32weeks and get this a lot too, but was measuring spot on at last check up. Like Fluffy says I think people forget just how big baby bumps get. A couple of times I've replied with 'At least I'm pregnant what's your excuse?', that usually shuts them up.

Don't worry, in my last pregnancy, loads of people said "oh aren't you massive now" as I was a very slim size eight pre-pregnancy.

Ironically, I was being sent for growth scans as the hospital thought my bump was too small as I measured over a bump behind.

So medical people always said "oh you don't look big enough - that's a bit worrying" as people I knew said how enormous I was.

The main lesson it taught me is never comment on someone's bump. Ignore them all!!!!

I got it all the time too despite measuring spot on for dates. After a really positive chat with my midwife I was able to turn it round in my head to a compliment and reply "thanks, I am ace at growing babies".

Nobody needed to know how much of it was cake not baby

I love that comeback quick I'll have to remember it! I don't think people mean to be rude well maybe some do so that's a nice response :)

I'm 29 weeks and am also sick of people telling me how huge I am. Within the last few days I've been told I'm "almost entirely spherical" and have had various jokes about not being able to fit through doors.
I was a size 12 pre-preg, am measuring spot on for dates, and have put on 19lb so far, which seems reasonable from the weight guidelines I've seen.

It's been getting me down a lot, too. I know I'm pregnant, but I still don't want to be told I'm "massive" or far bigger than I should be. Last night I got quite upset about it and tried on all my old pre-preg jeans, just to see if I was indeed all bump, or fat all over.
They all still fit on the legs and bum, though obviously they won't go anywhere near my belly - so I can't be THAT huge.

So, Plunkett, you're certainly not the only one who feels this way. I'm sure you're exactly the size you should be!

I don't think people realise how these comments can get you down. My mother said recently I was going to have a "giant baby", then later "I wouldn't be surprised if you go into labour next week" (I was only 29 weeks). When I asked why, she said in front of everybody "because you're so big..." :(

And when my sister told me there were biscuits in the cupboard, my mother immediately said "don't tell her that, she'll only eat them..." My new mantra is "the midwife says I'm measuring perfectly, the midwife says I'm measuring perfectly...!!"

I'm 21+5 with DC1 and I was just saying today that if one more person comments on how big I am or how convinced they are that I have twins I won't be responsible for my actions! I was a size 14 pre pregnancy and I really don't feel that I have put on that much weight (have a few fibroids that make my belly larger) and even if I have, so what! I'm looking after myself, eating sensibly etc
Like you OP I can still get the legs of my pre preg trousers on. Glad I'm not the only one but what do we do? Really tempted to hit back with some kind of equally rude quip or AIBU?

I'm only 17 wks with DC3 but am big already, even the midwife thinks so. Today a mum of DD2 school friend said I was 'small and was everything all right?' The rudness of some people astounds me! I love the comment about being incredibly good at growing babies - lol!

This really pisses me off. Yes I know I have put on weight, yes I do feel huge (tho measure just right) but do you really think I want to be told that/ No I don't so piss off!
I have said recently "Thanks for that, it makes me feel so much better about myself" in a very sarcastic voice. Usually they look away embarrassed...

People are fucking rude, ignore them!! Are they midwifes/obstetricians? No. Therefore they don't actually know what size is right for stage of pregnancy.

About 4 weeks ago I had one of DH's relatives who was visiting tell me I was "really, really enormous" and that I should go and have another scan to check if there was another baby or if there was something wrong. I mean, seriously?!?! Have had a few comments from others too.

I told my midwife this yesterday at my 30 wk appointment and she said that people just want to be involved/make a comment and don't realise how rude/upsetting it is. Anyway I measured spot on for dates and the mw told her student me, bump and baby were classic/textbook in every way and used me to explain/demonstrate lots of stuff to her! So ner-ner to ppl who say I am ginormous.

Everyone is paranoid about their bump!! My friend is 32wks and is noticeably smaller than me. She gets worried but I just tell her that everyone carries babies in different ways/have different uterus position etc! They gave her a growth scan recently and said her smaller size was mainly due to way baby was positioned. I reminded her that if something was not right, they would do something about it!!! Same if you are actually too big.

I think that in their head ppl compare you to your pre-preg size, so of course you are going to be bigger than that!!

I've had exactly the same reaction - second baby, older me = bigger bump. Though I am 5'3" so tend to show more anyway.

It is very tedious, I have 2 months to go and people keep thinking I am ready to drop. :(

I can see they aren't rying to be horrible, and I am a bit bumptastic, but to hear it numerous times every day is getting on my nerves a bit.

I'm 25 weeks and have had this all the way through.

When we told IL's I was pg very early on, SIL said "I could tell because you've put on weight recently". I hadn't, but she had, she's lucky I didn't mention her expanding waistline with no baby in it.

I've had constant "are you sure you're not having twins, there must be one hiding in there somewhere" yes, I'm sure, I've had 4 scans so far, "you're huge, were you this big last time?" I'm probably a bit bigger, but that's quite normal, does it matter?, "you're going to have to finish work much earlier this time because you're so big" well I probably will finish earlier as last time I finished at 39+4, but it has nothing to do with my size, "why do you need a cushion, you're only X weeks pg?" because I have SPD and pain going right through my ribcage, if you were in pain and wanted a cushion I wouldn't feel the need to comment on it.... Aaaaarrrrggggghhhhh they're so annoying!

I don't understand why people get upset about being called big. Half the comments are due to people being a bit awkward and not knowing what to say (I favour the mantra if in doubt say nothing, but others prefer the foot in mouth approach), and the other half is sympathy. They mean 'poor you, hope you feel ok', not ' you look like a hippo, lay off the pies'.

We all get big when we are pregnant it goes with the territory...

It's the implication that you are somehow abnormally big panic.

I'm very happy with my body, both when pg & when not, despite not being remotely super-model shaped, and appreciate that a) I will put on a lot of weight when pg (have done it before!!) and b) that you get bigger as you progress through the pg, but am concerned when people look and say things like "aren't you big??!!" with shock in their face & tone. I am happy to make all the jokes in the world about eating too many pies, being a chunk & so on, because I know its all just pg/baby weight, & I will lose it. I just don't like the feeling that I'm being judged against some mythical "bump scale" and found to be lacking... Afterall, my bump is my bump - I can hardly change it!!!

I really don't think people mean abnormally, but maybe I just live in a naive little bubble. Perhaps they do!!! I'm usually a petite size 6, and the first thing one of my friends said to me was she couldn't wait to see me fat. I genuinely found this funny not offensive. She wasn't meaning to be offensive she was just saying the first thing that came into her head, which was that I am normally a skinny rake, and it will be weird to see me looking decidedly round.

I'm getting this too and said to DH yesterday that I can't be arsed to joke and smile along with it any more . I considered starting a thread on MN to get some inspired responses. I'm 25 weeks with DC3 and last measurement was a couple of weeks ahead. I'd love to do delicate discreet pregnancies but I don't. The heat has made me swell even more - bye bye ankles and wedding ring!

The comments about being big aren't always that nice though. The tone of voice is often incredulity : Two comments I've had in the last week "You're due when?! Are you sure about your dates?" or "I wasn't even showing at 20 weeks, is there just one in there" hahahaha... And these are women who have been pregnant. I don't feel the need to comment when a friend has clearly put on weight at times they are not pregnant. I just don't see why my being pg gives people the right to stand open mouthed and talk about my weight gain.