Gender disappointment...by others?

[Crumm24]

Just had my 20-week scan today and been told we're likely to be having a boy. I've been convinced of this since finding out am pregnant, and I am happy. However, I feel a bit deflated because it seems that everyone else's reaction is disappointment! My sister repeatedly joked from the start that she's only interested in a niece as she already has 2 nephews; my niece text me saying 'damn it!' and even coming out of the hospital, DH said 'ah well, it's an excuse to keep trying!'! Even some of my friends who have girls, discretely go on and on about how they would hate to have boys as their daughters are so fast/adorable/perfect. I feel like a failure and have barely bothered telling anyone, when really I want to get excited and smug that I've been right all along. I know everyone'll love him regardless once he's here, etc, etc, but has anyone else had this?

Couldn't read and run. I haven't experienced the same but I just wanted to let you know how very loving and cuddly and active and absolutely wonderful little boys are. My DS is just over 2 and the light of my life.
Don't let anyone spoil this news for you. This is your wonderful son and you're very very lucky. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and just look forward to meeting him.

Congratulations on a boy! Ignore everyone else, no one especially your family/dh should be putting a dampener on such lovely news

Congratulations on your news! A perfect little boy

Agree with the others, ignore everyone else, you'll have 'your boys' how lovely xxxx

Congrats! You're having a gorgeous snuggly boy and you were correct in your prediction! Be smug and rightly pleased with your news! People (especially family!) just don't think before they speak, they should but...they don't ime

I had it with DS2 and 3. Im glad all 3 are boys it suits us both

It was mostly people from work "Oh I am so sorry, I wanted you to have a girl". DH's mum wanted a girl too.

Ignore 'em and congratulations!

People do say thoughtless things about baby gender. I get it constantly (I have 3 boys) on some days it makes me cross, on some upset on others I find myself feeling resentful that I don't have a daughter. I think my feelings have been poisoned by all these comments made flippantly by people, I really wish people thought more before speaking.
NB having 3 boys is really fantastic but rather noisy!

Congratulations!

Is he your first?

When people say "damn it" and similar, i would actually be quite harsh with them, that's really fucking rude and hurtful!

Thank you everyone! I am very excited to have a snuggly mummy's boy, and I know it's mostly thoughtless, as in not meant meanly, but it really bugs me! Thank you for reminding me how lucky I am and distracting me from being cross with everyone!

It was mostly people from work "Oh I am so sorry, I wanted you to have a girl".

I would say "yes YOU wanted ME to have a girl. Why the fuck would i be concerned about what gender baby YOU wanted ME to have you fucking twat!"

Congratulations on your baby boy!!

I get this a lot. I have 2 boys and I'm pregnant again with another boy and I'm thrilled, but I know people will expect me to be disappointed.

Having boys is loud though and quite messy

I've been holding newborn DD3 in my arms and been told "that's a shame" "were you hoping for a boy" "aww with a look of disappointment" a beautiful baby girl never in a million years a disappointment in any way.

W did have the "messiah" boy fourth time round and apparent,y that's us e cn stop trying.

Boys are utterly fab you will adore him utterly.

I'm ashamed to admit that when I had my son I was devastated that he was not a girl.I was convinced that I was having another girl and it was such a shock to my system. I had always imagined I would have daughters and in general chit chat conversations had always expressed that baby boys did nothing for me and that I did not like mixed sex siblings. Even though I knew that having a healthy baby was all that mattered I could not hide my disappointment.A lot of this was motivated by practicality we only had a 2 bedroomed house and I already had a mountain of baby girl baby things.

Looking back I realise how selfish and immature I behaved because regardless of my preference I had been blessed with a healthy baby.If I could turn back time I would have jumped for joy. My little man has brought me considerable joy he is giddy,loving and very entertaining.Embrace your news and ignore the comments, sometimes people just say silly things without thinking them through (I should know I was one of them !!).

I only want boys. We're planning on starting some kind of trading club though...

My luck is going to be a house FULL with pink and fluffy and I've no idea how to manage that.

Girls are fabulous, boys are fabulous, everyone a complete individual.

My parents only have Grandsons and we didn't find out the gender of DC1 when I was pregnant. I really wasn't concerned either way but I somehow thought he was a girl. When DS arrived I kn ow my parents were disappointed not to finally have a Grandaughter and there were a few gags about Grandad's football team. They did hide it well apart from one comment by my mother which I can't actually remember because I was so tired and really love DS now. I'm currently 37 weeks with DC2 and awaiting a 'surprise' again. I'm fairly convinced that this one is a boy too though, although we have no preference either way,

Im pg with DS2. Ive not told that many people as i get fed up with managing THEIR disappointment. I am pleased to have another child, and given infertility issues, im just glad to be having him! Its definitely their issue some people forget that children are a gift and a privilege not a right and interchangeable, you love them
As they are your babies not because of their sex. if my DS 2 is anything like DS1 i'll be a lucky woman!
Congrats on your DS

All babies are a beautiful blessing.
Ignore stupid comments and I'm sure your family will love the gorgeous new male member of the family once he's here.

Congratulations!

Yeh lemme add to that and say that we've been TTC for over a year so I don't care what I have now.

She won't be pink and fluffy though. Guaranteed

I sort of always wanted a girl: got a boy. He's a bit terrible twos at the moment, but still the best. I can't go into details as it would be too soppy-sounding for words, but he's lovely!

Nobody said anything specific to me.
My MIL has 3 GS's including one of ours.
She came with us to look after my DS whilst having a scan for baby 2.

We found out that we were having Ds2 and after the scan she never said anything to us, not congrats nothing.

I was pleased that I was having a healthy boy.

I would like a girl but I'm happy with my two boys.

Other people have said that they wouldn't like two boys or they are glad because they have girls, this is to me, which is pretty insulting actually.

Two boys does make sense though, they are fantastic togethet and wouldn't have it any other way.

yep i have had this, i have 4 boys and then our bonus baby no 5 is a girl.

with boys no 3 and 4 when we phoned relatives to say they had been born, its a boy, weighs blah blah one particular relatives first reaction was to say how disappointed she was! good job she was on the end of a phone line or i may have slapped her!

with having 4 boys ihave had loads of comments and now i have a dd as well if naything its worse, 'you finally got a girl' so you kept trying till you got a girl, or she must be yoru favourite etc etc! NO we were perfectly happy with 4 boys, no 5 was a bonus and yes its lovely to have a girl, but i would have been just as happy with boy no 5!

We have two DDs and I'm thrilled they are happy and healthy!

PILs expressed disappointment after the scan of DD1 "stop joking, you're having a boy", to "oh well, try again next time" when they realised we weren't joking. With DD2, they just said "there's always the third!".

Who cares what anyone else thinks! Both mine are beautiful little girls and I love them to bits!

Congratulations . As mum to 4 gorgeous boys (soon to be 5!!) i can sympathise with you regarding other peoples (usually unintentionally rude) tactless comments. Ive had it since DS3 came along. Its only annoying now cos its a bit YAWN! I think the people who say things like that think they are the first to mention it when in fact they're the billionth (or it feels like it). Plus with regards to all things pregnancy related i think that peoples normal etiquette and manners go out of the window!! You are a free for all to be commented on however they see fit, whether it be about the gender, the name you choose or the size you become!! Pregnancy tourettes or something...it does exsist!!

I had to cope with a delightful comment from mil 'your mum will be disappointed, having another grandson' on telling her the news after our scan with ds1. I'd thought I was expecting a girl so having her positive missive on top of my emotions was horrid - as I was seriously worried my mum was disappointed. Which of course she wasn't.

Now preg with no.2 found out its a girl, mil is so thrilled, I could clonk her one. My point being I am thrilled 1 to be pregnant, 2 have a happy and healthy baby. People seem quite comfortable assuming that certainly with a first baby anything but a girl, is a let down. I love being the mum of a little boy, am sure I will love being the mum of a little girl. But come on, it's f all to do with relatives or friends or randoms who seem to feel they can pass judgement on which sex is best!

But come on, it's f all to do with relatives or friends or randoms who seem to feel they can pass judgement on which sex is best!

Well said.