How long to spend in hospital (assuming all goes well)

[Nightfall1983]

I know that I might not get to decide this, but I'm 37 weeks now and assuming all goes well I could have baby and have an "early discharge". Our hospital offers them 6 hours after labour even for first timers (which I am) if everything is fine with mum and baby. I don't like hospital, have lots of support at home and just want to come home with my baby so I've written on my birth plan "would like to be considered for an early discharge is all is well".

However my midwife keeps saying she thinks I should stay for 24 hrs. I don't want to just dismiss her expertise, but nor do I want to stay overnight... Her reasons are good, mainly:

• She believes that a few hours after labour, if Dad can go home and have a good nights sleep safe in the knowledge that mum and baby are in good hands then even though mum might not get much/any sleep in hospital he'll be sufficiently recovered that once home he can care for baby downstairs whilst mum has a proper sleep upstairs - she believes that this can fight the initial exhaustion that is a contributor to PND. I think it's an interesting point, I do think that we could do that at home anyway, one sleeping upstairs and one with baby downstairs...

• She thinks that we need to stay in to get breastfeeding established. I desperately want to breastfeed and despite lots of research I'm aware that I don't know what I'm doing! Where I live (Derby) there is not that much support, just a breastfeeding group that only meets once a week and midwifes/hv's so I definately take her point on this one...

What did you do/what are you planning?

On baby number 3 now & still haven't 'wised up' & want out asap. 1st one was born at 12.15pm & we left about 6.15 the next day as they were too busy to discharge us. 2nd born at 8pm, i lost blood& had to have fluids so had to stay overnight. This time I'm really hoping to be out as quickly as possible & except in the case of medical need if they don't discharge me ill discharge myself. Got no sleep in either stop over so ended up so tired & emotional both time. Feel more relaxed at home & dh will look after us!

This thread just goes to show doesn't it. We are all different and all feel differently and a lot depends on the sort of care you get in your hospital.

Agree indith and in some regards its like planning a birth - you pretty much get what you are given. So ability to go with the flow and keep eyes on big prize (healthy baby, healthy you) and not get distressed when things don't go as planned.

It takes more that 24hrs to establish bf IMO, and in any case some babies barely feed in first 24-48hrs as they use up the energy stores they developed in utero.

My personal experience was that dd didn't feed frequently, so I had to give her a bottle to prove she would feed before letting her home (i would have been allowed home 3-4hrs post delivery as she did feed initially, but was encouraged to stay to see a pead for something minor and unrelated, and she barely took anything from the bottle anyway).

Having said all that I think I would have been anxious at home because she wasnt feeding as much as I expected IYSWIM.

The other thing to look at is what support for bf is actually available at the hospital as it can be very variable and dependent on who is on shift on your ward.

Thanks all for your responses. I'm interested in how different they all are!

What I'm going to do is: keep the line in my birth plan about being considered for an early discharge is all is well, but prepare for an overnight stay so that I'm not too disappointed and keep an open mind about whether I actually want to go home early depending on how I feel and more importantly how the first few breast feeds go... Not long to go now

My hospital only discharges patients at 15.00 and you could only be discharged if you could wee a certain amount and breast feed. I gave birth 21.00 and was out 15.00 the following day

Seems like you've had some good advice. I had my baby at derby a few months ago. Had to stay in for 3 days due to emergency c section. The staff were absolutely fantastic. I asked for a private room as a few hours on the ward nearly sent me loopy, I was so tired and couldn't get any sleep. They obliged and I didn't have to pay. I do think this saved my sanity so if you do stay in then you could ask. My understanding is that if a room is free you can have it unless someone who is more needy comes along. Don't know if my csection qualified me for this. DS was an absolute nightmare & would only sleep on me not in the little cot & screamed if i put him down. I didn't dare fall asleep in case he rolled off me. The midwives used to take him off me for a few hours in the night so I could get some sleep for which I will be eternally grateful!
The staff provided loads of support with bf. just had to buzz when I latched DS on & someone would pop in and check we were doing things right. They also had trained bf advisors who did a round every morning.
All in all I had a very positive experience at Derby but was glad to get home to my own bed none the less!

Also - don't forget that if you don't get discharged after 6hrs you don't have to stay the full 24hr either - 8hrs, 12hrs anything in between May be what's right for you :)

With all of mine I was out after 5 hours but I've always had very quick problem free easy births . So depends really when you want to go and obviously how your birth etc .

I also had my DS by CSection at The Derby Royal (and I work there - not in maternity). I stayed in for two nights and managed to persuade staff that I was fine to go home on the third day.

When I was there the PN ward was absolutely jam packed, unusually busy with lots of multiple births so the midwives were incredibly busy. Despite this I had lot of support with breast feeding from the MCAs and the volunteer bf support workers. They really couldn't have been more helpful.

However I didn't really start to have problems with BFing until my milk came in the day after we came home. I really struggled with rock hard boobs and a baby boy who just wouldn't latch on. He would literally just lie under my breast and catch the drips - so lazy!

The community MWs were amazing! I rang them to say that I was struggling and that I was concerned that DS wasn't getting any milk. There was a midwife on my doorstep within the hour and she stayed for nearly two hours, helping me, offering alternatives (e.g. Cup feeding EBM til he got some strength up) and reassuringly that I wasn't massive failure! That help was priceless and I will always be grateful for that help which enabled me to BF my DS for 6 months.

Good luck with everything and just go with your instincts, they're usually right

My advice to you, and this is based on my own experience, is don't be in any rush to get home.

I had a very easy birth, was up and about after 40 minutes but I stayed in hospital for 3 nights. I'd have stayed longer only the ward got very busy.

My daughter is 13 months now and I can honestly say I would do the same thing again. I thought to myself at the time that I wouldnt get the one to one care and attention, meals cooked, help with feeding, help with bathing, help with changing, rest if I wanted it etc etc when I got home.

It was nice for hubby to have a rest too and people came to visit me.

Ive not had that option for rest etc since then.

Make the most of it!

Good luck! X x x

most of my reasons were in my own head.
the iron one was legitimate.
:)

I 2nd that snowchick I wish I had the chance to stay longer tbh we get inundated with visitors at home and find it hard to bond as everyone keeps snatching your baby when it's suchan important time to spend together . But having older children I felt it best I go home

and you have to bear in mind that i didn't want to be in hospital in the first place - if dd hadn't decided to get her cord wrapped up so badly that she no longer fitted through the hold God provided for her i wouldn't have needed to be stitched, so would have been at home anyway, resting with real food :)

i did like the catheter they gave me though
(made the first 24 hours toilet-free so i didn't have to worry about that (although i did have to keep going to the toilet to wash my bits and change my pads)

*hole, not hold...

lunatic - that's awful care :(
they kept asking me how often dd was feeding.
i didn't have a clue because my watch was removed at home and my phine battery died. but i guessed it had been 5 or 6 hours apart and they were fine with that.

I was terrified to sleep alone with DS in a ward (you can't have any visitor spending the night with you at the ward, obviously) - I wanted to go home, where I would have DH and my mum to help look after DS.

They insisted to keep me there, but I kicked up a fuss and was discharged at 10:30pm. (visiting time finished at 8pm but no one dared tell DH and my mum to leave).

Best thing I've ever done!

Felt so much better (and safer) to be home, with my family and DS than in a ward full of strange people and mws who were too busy/not very nice anyway.

If you feel comfortable in the hospital, fine. Otherwise, make a big fuss and leave! They can't keep you there. They told me if I had any problem I wouldn't be able to come back straight there, and would have to go through A&E, but it was just to just to make me shut up. Chances are you won't need to go back anyway if everything is ok.

And re BF, get all the numbers of proper BF support groups like La leche league and call them if you need support. Most midwives, health visitors and GPs I met were useless. (have you read the MN BF guide? It's great)

Alternatively, is there any chance your hospital has private rooms? That could be a good alternative. I changed hospitals for DS2 (due November) and they have individual rooms where you can have someone staying with you for the night. Hope I won't need it, though. I don't want to spend any night in hospital if I can avoid it.

WillowB all three of mine were born at Derby and YY to fantastic care and support, even this time round having already done it twice and therefore being considered experienced as a mum

Lovely midwives and HCPs and all round a great experience. I was kept overnight with ds as he wasn't born until 6.29pm but because it was normal vaginal delivery, no rips, tears or stitches I was put on a ward at the end (J I think ) and there was only me and one other mum in there - it was lovely.

I did feel sorry for the other mum as she was a first timer, and on her own admittance, didn't have a clue what to do, but she was happy to accept some help, and I was happy to help her - just bringing her a cuppa etc as her baby wouldn't settle and ds was snoring like a trooper

Baby Jansen that happened to me with ny 2nd they hadn't even done a check before I left !

By the sounds of it everyone has had different experiences. With my first I stayed in, had the worst night sleep ever and absolutely no support. It was like a cattle market. If I could have gone home I would have.
I think you are right to be flexible and see how it goes x

I think your 'early discharge if all well' sounds sensible- keep your options open. I had a straightforward labour with episiotomy- but was surprised at how shaky I felt afterwards- it was a real struggle to walk very gently from the labour ward to the room where I slept overnight. I seriously don't think I could have walked to the car. Also, bear in mind that you may be in the labour ward for ages after you have the baby. DD was born at 6.30pm, but I was stitched up and then left with DP for several hours (which was actually really nice), then MW came in at about 11pm to weigh and wash the baby. I transferred wards at about midnight, and was relieved to be able to just go to bed there and then. I was lucky to have an en suite room to myself (didn't pay for it) & it was really pretty quiet. I also couldn't wee after the birth, so they wanted to monitor me to ensure that I'd managed within something like 7 hours, otherwise they'd have put a catheter in.

The thing I'd say about getting BFing established is that wherever you are, get the MW to check your latch & that it's definitely working- even if you think it's going fine. My milk didn't come in for 5 days & DD lost 18% of her birth weight & was rushed into hospital again. When I was at hospital the first time I thought the latch was alright- MWs came to ask me how it was getting on & I thought it was working OK, but now I think it probably wasn't quite right to start with. You just don't know with your first.