How long to spend in hospital (assuming all goes well)

[Nightfall1983]

I know that I might not get to decide this, but I'm 37 weeks now and assuming all goes well I could have baby and have an "early discharge". Our hospital offers them 6 hours after labour even for first timers (which I am) if everything is fine with mum and baby. I don't like hospital, have lots of support at home and just want to come home with my baby so I've written on my birth plan "would like to be considered for an early discharge is all is well".

However my midwife keeps saying she thinks I should stay for 24 hrs. I don't want to just dismiss her expertise, but nor do I want to stay overnight... Her reasons are good, mainly:

• She believes that a few hours after labour, if Dad can go home and have a good nights sleep safe in the knowledge that mum and baby are in good hands then even though mum might not get much/any sleep in hospital he'll be sufficiently recovered that once home he can care for baby downstairs whilst mum has a proper sleep upstairs - she believes that this can fight the initial exhaustion that is a contributor to PND. I think it's an interesting point, I do think that we could do that at home anyway, one sleeping upstairs and one with baby downstairs...

• She thinks that we need to stay in to get breastfeeding established. I desperately want to breastfeed and despite lots of research I'm aware that I don't know what I'm doing! Where I live (Derby) there is not that much support, just a breastfeeding group that only meets once a week and midwifes/hv's so I definately take her point on this one...

What did you do/what are you planning?

Everyone has made very good points. Another thing I would say is that of you would like visitors, it is much easier to deal with them in hospital than it is at home. But take it as it goes really. Good luck.

They made me stay in overnight with both of mine. I had DD1 at 3am and was out by 5pm the same day. I had DD2 at home at 7:25pm but had to go into theatre by 11pm but once the spinal had worn off and DD2 was checked over I was allowed home by 6pm the following day so no more than 24 hours following the births. I would plan a night's stay unless you're having a cesarean.

So are there only wards in the uk or how come harlett had a private en suite? If you could get your own room I'd recommend staying but the ward situation would freak me out.

You usually a pay a nightly fee for an 'amenity' room.

IME they will probably be very pleased that you want to go home quickly and free up a bed! I wanted to stay for one night after having my first but they were so busy they didn't have a bed on the postnatal ward so we had to go home a few hours after the birth. My local hospital is huge and always really busy so it may be different for you but there is a baby boom atm!

Tiny typically the wards are 4 maybe 6 beds in size. Then you can pay extra for a separate one of your own if you don't like the idea of a ward and have some money (say £30/40ish a night).

I was on a ward and the first night was worst as two people were really inconsiderate and talked on their phones loudly at stupid hours. After that it got better as they were replaced with quieter people.

The worst thing for me was the heat it was a hot summer, plastic sheets, no air con and windows that could open about an inch. God I don't know how I survived, only the great support I was getting made it worth it. :)

If all is well I'd much prefer to go home than to stay on a PN ward. I stayed 3 nights last time and was out of there as soon as the paediatrician said DS was well enough to go home. This time, it's either an early discharge or we'll be paying for a private room.

I had a homebirth, but had to go into hospital afterwards to be stitched up and to have threats about blood transfusions

If you feel shit after the birth, then a few hours more won't be a problem.

here's why I didn't want to stay in the hospital at all
-they kept taking blood from me to test it, then telling me the hb level had dropped again, but wouldn't give me iron tablets until I was discharged "we'll give you some to go home with you"

• they gave me paracetamol for the pain, but not very often and only after I asked.
• i felt like i was using up resources every time I pressed the bell because I couldn't move

-i had to keep asking for water -i eventually got my own -the baby in the cubicle next door kept crying poor mum didn't know what to do

• I didn't know what to do, and didn't dare hold my baby for very long because I didn't want to fall asleep (because co-sleeping in hospital was not allowed (i felt)

-they kept offering me tea and toast when my iron level was low and all i wanted was some fucking iron-rich food (everyone knows that tea inhibits iron absorption so ) -hardly any food going -i had to beg and plead for some actual food with iron in it -my phone battery died so i couldn't take photos or contact "D"H (i had a huge row at him when he finally appeared 5 hours after i had expected him to turn up)

• i was all on my own for hours

-i ran out of clean knickers and santiary pads and had to ask the nurses for some more -DD's clothes ran out (i had several thousand nappies, but only 2 changes of babygrow and she pooed/puked on them within hours) and i had to wash them myself and dry them. -i couldn't go to the toilet (it was very hard to get there - i could wee, that wasn't the problem) -i just wanted someone to help me from my bed to the toilet and back (i didn't dare stand up because of the lochia pouring out whenever i straightened)(actually, i didn't dare stand up because i was convinced it would really hurt! for some reason) -i bloody hate hospitals -i wanted to be in my own bed, in my own house, with my own food, and television!

i was there from around 2am on Monday morning until about 6pm on Tuesday evening, and I begged to be discharged.

have to say, though, i loved the bed - it raised at the top and at the bottom, which was really really useful for learning to breastfeed (and my underbeneathsies ached soooo much, that when the bed foot was raised, i couldn't slip down, so I had a bit of padding underneath my bum.)

you always want out early with your first one. Then you wise up with no 2.

I am in the UK and I didn't have to pay for my private room. The hospital's maternity wing is quite new and has a lot of private en suite rooms and just a couple of communal wards (I was on a 4 bed ward for my induction the night before DD was born).

nickel musta been in a hell hole compared to where I had mine.

Nickel that sounds horrendous! which hospital was that?

Most hospitals will should not discharge after 11pm so if baby is born after 5pm don't expect to go home until next day as there won't be anyone to discharge you. You can of course discharge yourself but not advisable.

DS was born at 6.29pm and even though we were both absolutely fine and he latched on straight away, there wasn't a hope in hell of me getting out of hospital until the following day.

Make sure you tell them at every shift change that you wish to leave ASAP or you could probably will anyway find yourself waiting for hours a while for your discharge paperwork

omfgkillmenow I haven't wised up - I am planning to have my second at home

Both times I stayed in hospital for 2 days simply because I got 3 meals a day in there and I knew full well once I got home I'd be lucky to get a cup of tea made for me. Also with my second, I only had to deal with hyperactive toddler for visiting time instead of all the time. Much as I loved him, it wasn't helpful being dive bombed by a 2yo when trying to latch a newborn onto the boob

Reading about these experiences in hospital post-birth, I'd probably want an early discharge too. But I gave birth in Belgium, where 5 nights in hospital are standard for an uncomplicated VB. And I loved those 5 days, but then again:

• I had a single room with ensuite;
• I had (patient, endless) help with BF on tap, there's no way I would have managed to EBF otherwise;
• DS was in the room with me at all times
• I had physiotherapy once a day to help my uterus contract and my pelvic floor to go back to normal.

Ok, the food was terrible - and there wasn't much of it - but I had a mini-fridge in the room I could store stuff in and DH was tasked with bringing me dinner every night.

I'm due in a few weeks and I wonder if they'll let me stay a bit longer this time...

omfg I clearly didn't 'wise up' then. I couldn't have wanted to get me and DS out of there and back to DH and DD quick enough

I am scheduled for early release too (first time mum under Domino care) - midwife said if I really wanted to I could stay overnight, but otherwise I'll be out of there 6-12 hours, all going well!

As for getting bf established - surely where mum is most relaxed is best?? In my case I will have DMIL staying with us - so I feel like there is another responsible adult in charge! She is my bf support as she ebf all three of her kids for 1 year +.

Good luck! Remember it's your body and your baby at the end of the day!

I stayed in overnight, from 4pm (when DD was delivered till 10am. I had planned only staying 6 hours but they kept saying we had to stay till the next feed (formula fed) because DD wasn't taking much milk ( 5 feeds in all) and wanted to make sure she was ok. Glad I stayed in though because it gave me a bit confidence just with feeding, changing nappies, even just holding her. I would have been a nervous wreck if they discharged me at 10pm or midnight (which they planned to do!!) Luckily I got to stay overnight in the same room on the delivery ward.

Plan to have somewhere to go next morning, or that night, or 6 hours after you have been discharged, or whatever, if you find you need help, particularly with breastfeeding. Set it up so you can have someone spend several hours with you or you can go somewhere for several hours. Then if you don't need to, that's fine, but you do NOT want to be panicking and with no plan. My MLU encourages families to come in for breastfeeding clinics (essentially thay set you up on a bed in a ward and you stay as long as you want to - but they are amazing, and I am lucky.) My DD could not breastfeed (was premature) and so help was a necessity for her health, and probably survival. The first 3 days I had to hand-express into a syringe and feed via syringe. Had no idea what was enoughb or right or anything. Did not even know that was possible.

Your MW's reasons:

1. IMO your MW is completey right about BF and support.And even if it goes well for you, have the plan in place, as above.

1. Your DH will be so shattered that one night at home will make NO DIFFERENCE. Or at least that is what your DH will think, even if compared to you he has slept like an angel.

1. Unless you are a freakishly brilliant sleeper, you will not sleep on the ward. I slept for 1.5 hours in the 3 nights I was on ward (and 0.5 hours of that was because it was very quiet and I begged the MW to watch over DD while I slept.)

So next time if it were me I would go home, given that I had MW coming for at least 3 consecutive feeds, and a couple over the next day, and also somewhere to go if BF was not working or making me anxious.

For my second I plan HB. And to have amazing MLU midwives on call.

Good luck! Go for your gut instinct.

"I had physiotherapy once a day to help my uterus contract and my pelvic floor to go back to normal."

Why? I bf DD and my uterus was back to its normal size within 10 days.

"As for getting bf established - surely where mum is most relaxed is best??"

Not if you have a baby who won't latch on without the help of an expert. If we had been at home it just wouldn't have happened.

"nickel musta been in a hell hole compared to where I had mine."

I agree. DD was born in Barnsley and the bf support and care I received was fantastic.

I am with sayanything: I usually look forward to my stay in the hospital because the facilities are rather good (although they have ripped out all the bathtubs for insurance reasons or some such nonsense). 3 meals a day and can normally order enough for DH to eat too. Pull-out bed for DH to stay with me. Baby can be with me or in the nursery (and brought in to nurse on demand). Only drawback is health insurance doesnt cover everything so there is always a bill to pay (and last time my friend was there the billing dept called her room before discharge to advise her of the total and could she please give them a credit card number and exp date over the phone! Can you imagine?)

I'd go with the flow and see how you feel. I HAD to stay in with DS1 as he was born very late, however I was packed, dressed and ready to go at 7 the next morning. With the subsequent ones I left almost straight away - infact with the 3rd I discharged myself because they 'lost' my notes. Bunch of idiots.
As for DH resting so he can look after the baby. Ha! mine spent the rest of the day lying on the sofa asleep because he was 'exhausted' while I cooked dinner for everyone .
You might be surprised at how well you feel and how confident you are. I know in the hospital I was in with DS1 the midwife forced the latching on issue, because she was 'busy' - which was stressful. When I got home it all slotted into place.
Just follow your instincts - you are the boss and it's your child - don't let them bully you with all their tales of woe.

Does your mw really think tgese are valid reasons for some to remain in hospital