So this loving the 2nd as much as the 1st thing. Do you really?

[yellowflowers]

20 wks pg. Just can't believe I will ever love another child the way I love dd.

Oh I so remember that panicky feeling.

It kind of shares around in the end, honestly it does.

I don't think most people can but just wait until your next baby is born ... it's magic

you really really do

it is amazing

Yes I love his just as much, i'm prob a bit more protective as he's my baby now and my other 'baby' seems alot bigger

You will- all the cliches are true. The dynamic is different and your relationship with each of them is different, but that all-consuming, fire in your belly, can't get enough of them love is there in equal measure.

You will, you will. I have 3 DDs and I adore the very bones of all 3.

Yes. Absolutely.

I read a lovely article about this very topic here last night.

I couldn't believe it would be the case but you just do.

Someone on here said "you just grow another heart for the next one"

It is so true.

Good luck with your pregnancy and the wonderful world of 2!

Oh I had this, I was really worried about it.

You do, you really do. And actually you love the child(ren) you have more.

It didn't hit me immediately, or rather it takes some time before you know your new baby so I didn't love DS2 in the same way that I loved DS1 at that time. Which makes complete sense when you think about it, but at the time can make you feel a bit odd - or it did me anyway.

And seeing them together is just amazing. DS2 is 16 months, and just starting to talk. He says DS1's name when he wakes up in the morning, they share a room, and it is just lovely :)

Been worrying about the same thing (dc2 due in a couple of weeks now!). This thread is reassuring though.

I will be honest. On days one and two with second baby if someone had told me I had to choose one to give back (ridiculous, I know!) then it would have been the new baby, without a doubt. By day 3, they were equal and I could never have chosen. I now have 4, and of course love them all equally. The love doesn't get shared out, it multiplies!

The thing that has surprised me most, is that I love each of them more every single day.

Abso...blinking...lutely you do but you love no 1 more too because they turn into the big brother/sister

And then you see how DC2 adores DC1 and vice versa and there are moments when you're just so flipping smug it's ridiculous

There's enough in life to worry about OP ... Please don't waste time worrying you might not love someone enough. You won't have a choice

Love really is a bottomless pit. It astounds you how you can feel so deeply about two little beings. You will love them both, as they get older you may love them for different reasons - but believe me, you will love them both so much.

Totally! They are both so different and so amazing. As someone said upthread I love the very bones of them! (Must be why I'm having a third!)

A slightly different story- I had bad pnd with dc2, I loved him but it was hard and alot of that came from my fear of not being able to love him as much as 1st, they were so close in age that I almost felt guilty for 'doing it' to 1st dc!

BUT..... when I had 3rd dc I found that I had a huge heart!

You'll shock yourself at how much you can love them and how natural it is!

Congratulations btw!

Yep it's true. Mother of 4dc and I love them all the same, no more no less. The moment that baby hits your arms it makes no difference if it's your 1st or 4th, it's your baby and you love it with the same love whatever.

Why can't you believe it? Are you the person to have ever had a pfb?? If everyone says that you love all your children equally then why do you need convincing?

for me it was totally amazing.
I hadn't fallen in love with DS1. I came to love him when he was about 6 months old. having always exhibited loving behaviour but not really "felt" it.

DS2 was like a smack round the head. I had a full on teenage crush. my whole self ached when he wasn't with me, if someone else held him for slightly too long I had to supress the urge to run across the room and grab him back.

It was like I had the first child for all the excited grandparents and relatives and the 2nd was for me, for my enjoyment. Does tht sound hideous??

Even now, I can be calm and level headed with DS1 when he has fallen off his bike or hurt his knees. DS2 I am a jibbering wreck.. by baby is hurt and I am a mess..

anyway point of all that is to say that it is ok you will have enough love, it is like an elastic band.. it just keeps on stretching.

Don't worry, I had the same feelings, almost didn't want to conceive dc2 because of that, but you will, I adore him, as much as dc1

I has this conversation with DS1 this morning. He asked if my love for him would be split in two when DS2 arrives - would he have to share? I said that the love grows bigger, enough for two. He's decided the baby will bring his own love with him when he's born

Mintyy, I think she was asking because she feels guilty that at this moment in time she doesn't feel the same way as she did the first time around - and you never will, because the first time it's exciting and scary and the rollercoaster of emotions is much greater. But, as everyone else has already reassured you, that will change once the baby is actually here.

I don't think people should mock questions that others choose to ask, this should be a safe place to ask or discuss anything.

I totally understand you asking! I thought about this while pregnant with DD2. But just as others have said, the love for your children is huge, and grows to fit all of them. It's wonderful!

I'm going to be completely honest. I love my dc differently. It's not a quantitive thing because I love them absolutely. I'm the other way round to NeverKnowingly actually. I loved dd with a ferocity which became anxiety. If she was ill or hurt or away from me, I ached and panicked and missed her in a very visceral way. I don't do that with ds (dc2). I was worried for a long time that it meant I didn't love him enough or properly. DH quite rightly pointed out to me that with dd, I had ptsd and pnd and wasn't experiencing loving her along a normal paradigm. He suggested that the uncomplicated way in which I love ds is actually nearer to 'normal' than my relationship with dd iyswim.

But it is slightly different. DD made me a Mum and I had my steepest learning curve with her. It was all very hard won. And I'm fiercely protective of that. With DS it's only ever been utterly straightforward. I simply love him.

But like I say, it's nothing to do with how much I love either of them. There's no contest. I have children. I love them. It just naturally happened that way.

It's normal to worry though. It's because you can't feel it yet. I apologised to dd over and over again at 2am the night my waters broke with ds. I thought I was ruining her life. Not true at all.

It'll be fine.

I was just thinking about this the other day ! 26wks with ds . DD was sleeping in with me due to having her room painted and I was lying watching her sleep thinking how could I love someone as much as I love her . I did panic about it a bit .

"He's decided the baby will bring his own love with him when he's born"

Awwww :)

That's really smart of your DS.

Yes, but with DD (DC2) it took a bit longer to feel that overwhelming love, but I wasn't well for a while.