So this loving the 2nd as much as the 1st thing. Do you really?

[yellowflowers]

20 wks pg. Just can't believe I will ever love another child the way I love dd.

Im 17 weeks with DC2 and have the same worry.. Which makes me feel a bit ashamed? I simply adore my DS and just worry DC2 wont get the same.. Hope you are all right!

Thanks for starting this thread op, some really reassuring responses, i'm 37 weeks with dc2 and it's been a real rollercoaster of guilt!

I'm enjoying the last few weeks just me & Dd, and looking forward to a new era when ds arrives.

Good luck!

Of course you do. It's the same as any other relationship. Loving your mum doesn't mean you can't love your dad, for example (realise this analogy only works for people with 2 great parents, but I'm sure you understand).

unquestionably and without reservation. our capacity to love is infinite (cheesy but true)

Well I definitely love DD as much as DS. I guess it depends on the baby - if your first was a dream and the second isn't I guess it would be possible to not bond immediately. You know you will in the end though.

Also - although this won't always be the case - your firstborn is likely to get jealous and give you shit for it. When this happens you tend to warm naturally to your newborn, who doesn't.

I always viewed love for children like sunshine... no matter how many people are in the world, we all get warmed by it.

'Tis true, each baby comes with its own parcel of love when it's born. Well, my 4 did anyway .

Also, love, like energy, you have the more, the more you spend (pardon the cheesy cliche and the grammar, but it's also true).

Now time, and free hands, and patience... a whole other ball game

yes. TBH it never occured to me I wouldn't love the second as much!

Do you know I actually said to my Mum when I was pregnant with dc1 (dd) that I understood why she loved my big brother the most as nothing was ever going to compare with this first baby.

Then I had dc2.

A bit like ShowOfHands, I get to love him simply and without all the worry and anxiety I had with dd.

Oh, and by the way my Mum doesn't love my big brother the most - I was projecting.

Thanks (nearly all). Reassuring. Hope you're right...

in floods of tears reading this - crossed my mind too HOW is it possible....cant wait for DD2!

I have thought about this. I can't imagine how I could love another child as much as I love my 22 month old DD.

I also worry because DD's always been so advanced in so many ways and I worry people will compare the new baby to her.

We have friends who made the choice to not have another child because of the worry of not being able to love another child as much or because they would not be able to devote themselves quite as much to another child. They are a lovely and happy family, but I just cannot follow their reasoning tbh (obviously, having had 4...). Thank goodness, we are good enough friends to be able to talk honestly about our different takes on what the 'perfect' family is.

The second is true, I suppose, the day does have onle 24 hours, but the rest I just cannot agree with as a reason not to have a further child.
It is everybody's choice, of course, but just happens not to be mine.

ItsMyLastOne, I have to be honest, I cannot relate to what you are saying. How does how 'advanced' your first child is affect how much you might love another one ??

A unanimous thread. Is this a MN first?

Your love does not divide but multiplies :)

I worried about that.....& I love both of them so much! Although I am in the throes of baby infatuation - she's 9 months now.

DD1 is 6 - adore her, she's just a bit more annoying as they can be when they answer back . Love the way the baby can't!

Yes you do. It's easier second time around too because you know what to do with them Best feelings I've ever had in my life after dd2 and dd3's births. Pure elation. Dd1's birth - I think I was a bit stunned and it was in the middle of the night so tired too. But with dd2 it was in the middle of the day and it was just AMAZING.

Pacific that's not what I meant, I think you've read it wrong. It makes no difference to me how advanced or not my children are. But it quite clearly does to some of our relatives and I worry about whether DD2 wouldn't be treated or cared about in the same way if they weren't able to boast about her so much!

Yes I most certainly do. I was also worried about this, and DH more so, but we love both of them so much. They are very different, but they adore each other and watching them play together and looking out for each other is the best feeling in the world.

Sorry, yes, ItsMyLastone, I should really learn to read posts properly .

Aaargh, don't get me started on grandparental boasting... It so happens that DS1 is v academic and DS2 who is only 12 months younger is more average. Cue lots of concerned faces and toothsucking. FFS.

I feel exactly the same, I'm 32 weeks pregnant with second son & I really worry sometimes, but everyone has assured me that you just do, you find enough love to go round. I hope it's true.

Some days I worry baby two won't be as amazing as dd. Other days I worry it'll be more amazing. Either way I worry every day!

I feel exactly the same as this at 18w and have felt like this every day! And we TTC for a year haha. Very reassuring thread x

I have a 12 year age gap between my DC (both DS's). I was for some time a single mum with DS1 and we literally were each other's world. I love him to bits though as he is growing up he is less and less my baby. DS2 is not 2 yet so is very much my baby and needs a very different kind of love and care to DS1. The point is, yes I do love both of them and I did wonder before DS2 was born.