Unwanted and rather rude comments!

[theressomethingaboutmarie]

I walked out of our front door yesterday to see DH speaking with a neighbour. Upon seeing my 35 wk pg form, he actually said, "alright fatso?". I told him that he was lucky that I was such a lady otherwise my response would have begun with an 'F' too. DH has also started to call me 'biggie' which I have told him time and time again, pisses me off and doesn't make me feel good about myself.

We (DH and I) chatted about what the neighbour had said and he said that I was being a little unreasonable as he was just making conversation and acknowledging me. I consider that to be complete BS and that when I see other pg women, I actually compliment them and use positive words.

Is anyone else having to deal with this verbal diarrhoea?

A collegue at work Keeps calling me 'tubbs" and she is the skiniest thing ever! What's made it worse is she started saying it on Facebook aswell ! Really annoys me as she says it all the time it will prob stick now after the birth ! Grrrrrrrr

He was trying (and failing) to be funny. Personally I'd have laughed and said something like 'fine thanks lard arse. You?'

I think people, especially men, are a little awkward talking about pregnancy, and unwanted unfunny jokes are how they deal with it. Your life will be much easier if you lighten up, and don't look for bad intent in silly comments.

How fucking dare they!

I would reply with something equally personal such as "Please don't say that, I don't draw attention to you bad skin/hair/clothes etc

My whole family has started calling me "fatty" and also quite a lot of people at work too... Most of the time I take it in the good humour that they mean it in... But when it's constant I'm very, very close to losing it... This hormone filled little fatty (that's only 28 weeks and pretty much all bump at the mo IMO) is going to lose it in style very, very soon... ... Be afraid, be very afraid...

How rude!!

I'd reply with a personal comment about their appearance like 'hello baldy' or 'hello spotty' or anything else that stood out about them.

This is my first pregnancy and it's an eye opener how people seem to think we're suddenly public property and open to any comment or touch, whether it's commenting on your appearance, being rude about name choices or trying to touch our belly.

Oh god no fish don't do that. Honestly, then you'll just have a very awkward situation forever with the neighbour. Comments like these aren't meant badly, they are just in bad taste. Make a joke of it.

Lol yea good one ! It's damn right annoying ! Ok they may be making it a joke but tbh it's not funny when u feel self convoys anyway and u are getting bigger beyond ur control ! It's damn right demoralising !!

Self conscious damn iphone

Yes! My (male) boss said a few weeks ago "Suck it in - you shouldn't be showing yet!" Wasn't quite sure how to respond - I took it in good humour but was quite tempted to say, "At least mine's only for 9 months - what's your excuse??"

Omg weejo that's out of order ! Some ppl really need a slap !

I had "god, I hate you - how can you stay so thin when you're pregnant" from a work colleague when I was about 36 weeks. Baby was all in front so you wouldn't have noticed bump from behind...apparently!

Not sure which is worse tbh

I got called 'Big Daddy' yesterday, when I didn't fall about laughing he continued with "you know Shirley Crabtree, the big fat wrestler" Yeah, thanks for that

I've had it from everyone, mostly family and co-workers but to be honest, I just shrug it off. I'm normally very slim so I think its a novelty for them to see fat Sammy hehe :)

This is very common in pregnancy. Some people are always rude, but many people who wouldn't normally be rude about your appearance seem to think it is OK when you are pregnant.

It can be horrible, at a time when your body is changing rapidly and you are probably already feeling self concious about your looks, you get all these awful comments.

I think if your family do this, you need to have a talk and tell them how hurtful it is. From DH it is just mean and he really needs to pull himself together, grow up and show you some respect. You're doing him a massive service by bringing his child into the world and he should be supporting you 100%, not giving you unflattering nicknames for his own amusement.

If it is just strangers, I think 'wow, how rude! / did you mean to be so rude' is a good reply, or just ignore.

Cheeky fecking pigs!

I've had 2 pregnancies and have never been called fat (not to my face anyway as I would go ballistic) but I have had stupid comments about being neat/big bump/high up/low down

Your DH needs to stop being such a pig and support you. If my neighbour said that my DH would have verbally lamped him.

Walked into the co-op last week (38 weeks) and bloke on the way out gasped in horror and exclaimed rather loudly "Christ you dunna need any food" ........To be fair I am the size of a house but I do not appreciate complete strangers pointing it out....cheeky fecker! X

Most of my friends in my local area call me 'fatty' atm! It doesn't bother me too much as most of them have been pg or still are and my bump is massive! (33 weeks so still a fair bit if growing to do yet!)

Mostly the comments from my family bother me, especially my aunt, she makes a snide comment about how she only ever had "neat little bumps" and how "mine were all small"! Might of had something to do with the twenty fags a day she still smoked and the fact she barely ate!!

I tend to avoid her mostly!!

I wouldn't care whether a return remark would cause awkwardness between myself and a neighbour. I think whether pregnant or not, the word fatty whether it was meant as a joke or whatever is a very rude thing to say and shouldn't be acceptable. A woman wouldn't turn around and shout "Alright fatso" at a fat male neighbour.

Next time you see him tell him you would prefer he kept his rude comments to himself.

I think the problem here is that your DH carries on with this even though you told him it made you feel bad. That is very wrong of him.
FWIW, DH used to call me grosse poule (fat hen) and baleineau (baby whale) when I was pregnant, but it was funny and sweet in the context of our peculiar nicknames for each other. If it had made me feel bad, he would have stopped immediately.

And I agree with Needlescuties, it was your DH's place to say something.

I find the difficulty with things like this, whether it's rude/hurtful comments, bump touching or just unnecessarily personal questions, is that it's very tricky to find a suitable response without being accused of being "hormonal/overly sensitive." I would like to find a polite, funny response that communicates my feelings and gets the person to consider whether they would say/ask/do the same thing were I not pregnant.

I would go with "Wow, why would you think it's okay to say that" and just stare a bit

My DH calls me Fatty jokingly, it is a joke because if I say anything like it he sticks up for me and tells me I am pregnant not fat!

I tell him it is not on, and I expect to be addressed with my proper name... FattyBoomBoom, thank you!

WeeJo, you're right.

How convenient for the rude arses jokers - if their victim responds to the jibe they can just laugh it off as them being hormonal and avoid taking responsibility for their hurtful words.

Meh, I really can't be arsed to get upset about things like this, I'm pregnant and as a result I have an enormous belly, unless I had reason to believe they were being deliberately nasty I just don't see the point in being offended.