When's the best time to tell people you are up le duff?

[MrsBradleyCooper]

Last time we told pretty much everyone at about 8 weeks because I could not hide the fact that I was puking everywhere I went, though we waited until 12 weeks to tell DSD.

This time I am not sure what to do. Some people I know have told parents and close friends straight away, then waited until 12 weeks to tell Facebook the world.....

Others haven't told anyone until after the first scan.

What I'm most concerned over is telling the children - they are 11 and just 4, and they both start a new school (secondary and primary respectively) on the day that I will be 12 weeks.

So, do we tell them now, in the summer holidays, or wait until after they start school?

I think it would be better to tell them a few weeks before they start school, but DH wants to wait until after they've started

I don't want them to find out from someone else making a comment, especially the 11 yr old, though she doesn't live with us all the time.

Any words of advice appreciated .

I would (and did) wait til after the scan, personally - you don't want to have to give a 4 & 11 year old bad news iykwim (sorry if that's a bit negative).

I waited til 16 weeks for family and 20 weeks to tell work.

On DD I told my mother and sis and wanted to wait before telling anyone else but I couldn't keep my big fat mouth shut keep a secret and told my friends at 9wks, I had a bleed around the same time and a scan to check all was ok but can't recall if it was after telling ppl or b4.

This time I was determined that just me and DP would know until the scan but I had to tell my sis cos she was trying to force feed me and the old I'm on antibiotics trick wasn't really working so I told my mother too. I've had really bad morning sickness tho and couldn't keep making excuses for not wanting to get out of bed and I felt bad I'd let my friend down so I told her and another guessed. I also had to tell DD as she was getting concerned that mammy was being sick all the time!

Waiting for my scan to tell facebook everyone else tho.

I told my boss straight away as I work with quite dangerous people. Told my best friend same day I found out and obviously DP. Parents and siblings about a week later and nobody else til after 12 week scan

I told parents & a couple of close friends early on, then the rest of the world after the 12 week scan and subsequent CVS results were ok.

We're waiting until after the 12 wk scan (but we've had 2 MCs so are quite sensitive to the statistics). We plan to tell DSS, our parents and our siblings at 13+wks. Everyone else can just figure it out or assume I'm just getting fat!

I told my parents, sister and best friend straight away, as did dh, maybe at about 5 weeks. I'm very close to my family. Ds found out at about 6 weeks he's 13 he knew about my last pg that resulted in a mc at 5 weeks. It was horrible but we went through it all as a family. My boss and a few people at work I told at about 6 weeks because of the previous mc and everyone else after 12 weeks.

With DS, told close family & friends at 8 weeks (cos it was Christmas Day!), my boss at 10 weeks, as it was relevant to a meeting we had. Everyone else, at 12 weeks, immediately after the scan.
This time, told close family a couple of days after BFP, will prob tell my boss when I'm back off mat leave (at about 9 weeks - ha ha, work are gonna love me!), and then make it properly public at 12 weeks again.

I'd wait until after the scan to tell the children, just in case there's any not-so-great news.

11 weeks for parents, then 13 weeks for everyone else (apart from 2 very good friends who knew around week 9 and we weren't going to see them in person again for a while)

IMO its not news till 12 weeks, prior to that the people you tell are your support system for the waiting game/early symptoms/what-ifs. Now that support system might be one or two people or 20 or all of your facebook list so that's up to you!

I don't think that your children are told to be there for you, they are told it as exciting news, which you're not sure it is till the scan

After the twelve week scan. I had a missed miscarriage last year, discovered at twelve weeks. So with next pregnancy waited until we were certain.

Told close friends and family just before the first scan, only because I had an ill-turn and resented possibly having to tell work before telling family. Turned out to be exceptionally GOOD timing as SIL had plans to visit overnight and would have brought two Chicken-Poxed kids in tow. Lucky escape!

I'm um 21 weeks!
DH's family still don't know, they will do very soon.
I look like I've eaten an awful lot of cake

I'm so nosey curious Seabuck - why have you waited so long to share the news with your family?

Having had MC and known friends who had MC I told no one but my best friend with DS till after 12 week scan (we had bleeding after early scan so still didn't feel safe). Then we told immediate family and close friends only. Never made a wider announcement or said on Facebook as I guess I was still a little superstitious. Told work at about 18 weeks as wanted to enjoy having our little secret as long as possible. This time round plan to do exactly the same!

I told work last time at 13weeks after my scan.

Turns out they'd already guessed. Think it's hard to keep it a secret for much longer than that.

I told my mum the night before my 12 week scan because I wanted her to come with me. I let family know after the scan but didn't tell work until I was nearly 15 weeks. Nobody had guessed.

Clearly just me then.

Mum, dad and very close friends & family as soon as you feel ready.
Anyone else after your 12 week scan

Parents, work and gym teachers pretty much straight away. Close friends over the next few weeks then FB after 20 week scan.

There wasn't a hope in hell of me getting past work after about 8 weeks anyway as I was podging out so much and needed different clothes.

between 14 weeks and 25 weeks for me. I've never told work before 25 weeks. Family and very close friends have found out anywhere between 14 and 24 weeks. You can't be certain by a 12 week scan (or any scan). The scan doesn't change anything unfortunately and waiting for it doesn't make it certain or make it news or make you able to tell children. I've lost two babies after good 12 week scans.

It's really tricky if you're ill. My parents came to stay when I was 4w2d (!) and we had to tell them as I was already feeling really rough (hallo imminent hyperemesis!). Then I had to tell close friends, my sisters, my boss and one other colleague when I was admitted to hospital for the first time at 5w. I found it really awkward as I'd had two earlier losses at 4 and 5 w so knew the chances of a miscarriage were still really high, and then I was so ill around 8/9 weeks there was also a chance we'd have had to terminate for my sake. So when I did have to tell people at that v. early stage I stressed that I was very unwell and that the pregnancy might not work out but we were hoping for the best.

I filled in everyone else gradually after the 12 week scan but I'm now 18 weeks and still have a few people I haven't got round to telling. To be honest I get a bit cross when people are super excited when from my perspective I've just been terribly ill for over three months now and don't really feel excited so much as exhausted!

I always imagined that I'd tell people as soon as I found out I was pregnant. However, the reality has been quite different. I've had a tiny amount of spotting and brown discharge so am having to go for early scans. First scan last Tuesday was fine but too early to see heartbeat so going back on Friday. We've decided not to tell anyone until after Friday at the earliest but every time we see friends and family, we are so tempted to!

When people say they would wait till after the 12 week scan, do you mean in case of a missed miscarriage? Or would you wait until you have had the blood test results too?