1st timer. Wish people would stop telling me....

[Doodlekitty]

How rubbish later pregnancy and having a young baby is. It's all I hear from mates who have children and older relatives. Reminds me of when I was in teacher training, every teacher I ever met told me not to go into teaching.

I'm currently 23weeks. Have a bit of a bump, baby kicking has just started waking me up through the night. Started a new job with longer hours than m last and much later finishes than I am used to. Struggling to get used to new working patterns, squeezing in some housework (luckily I have an amazing hubby who really pulls his weight) and less sleep than usual. This is the most pregnant I have ever been, I'm aware I'm going to get bigger, I'm aware it's going to be hard, I'm not stupid.
So why, why why why why do mothers insist on telling me how crap I'll feel in x weeks time? How bad it is once you get huge. How little sleep you get later on. Why do they laugh at me when THEY ask how I'm feeling an my response is not 100% positive, and then dive on whatever I have said and tell me how much worse it will be soon.

It's really starting to get me down and make me doubt that I can even do this. And then it annoys me, how dare they think that they could cope but I wont be able to. And then it makes me wonder, how the shitting hell will I cope?

Sorry guys, just needed a moan after a rough weekend with mates with kids (all around 1) telling me how shit it all is

I know how you feel i'm 16 weeks and constantly get the "you wait til your bigger" "get used to having no sleep" "you're in for such a shock" from other mums.

I have a MW friend who said that generally you will never hear good stories from other mums, they will always try to outdo each other in birth horror stories and will take any opportunity to prove to other people what they have been through. It's just what happens annoyingly.

Take no notice ! I'm on my third and ppl keep emphasising the fact I will soon be up all night wen baby is here ! Well yes I no i have been there and it's not that bad some nights are worse then others but it gets better pretty quickly! Yes late pregnancy is tiring but not unbearable ! Sounds to me like they are jus showing off and feel the need to express that they've done it all already !

Dont worry take each step at a time u may find u will b ok with later pregnancy? To b honest altho i have bad heartburn (36 weeks at the mo) I have been sleeping pretty well . Good luck and enjoy your pregnancy ! X

There will always be negative doom and gloom merchants. Yes, late pregnancy is tiring and uncomfortable but it is also amazing and lovely sometimes as you watch your belly get bigger and your baby batters you from the inside. Having a new baby is bloody hard work, I should know, I have one, but it is also the best thing at the same time especially a couple of months in when they start to be more interactive.

You know, I get it a lot from people I know, if I had a quid for every bad birth story, waking up in the night with a screaming baby tale etc, I'd be able to afford a nanny. My response always shuts them up... I just say 'I'm not anything like you/your wife so we'll see wont we?'

Surely if they're saying how much worse is gets, they didn't cope well did they? They were miserable too...

As a second-time pg Mum, I do try not to go into horror stories (thankfully I don't really have any) but sometimes you can't help but focus on the negatives (or sound like you are). There will be some really tough times ahead of you and some fantastically great ones - maybe they're just trying to show interest or bond with you a bit? Afterall, sometimes all we have in common with other women is the whole pg/labour/baby thing...

You said about the teacher training thing - you still did train to be a teacher though didn't you? And as a teacher now, is it always wonderful & pleasant, easy & enjoyable, or do you think that you're only doing it because you really want to? I'm a teacher & some of the worst attributes in a trainee teacher are over-confidence ("you might find it hard, but I won't!!) or half-hearted interest (they'll be the ones to quit early on as they really don't have the stamina to stick out what is a bloody stressful job at times). Now you're doing it, day in, day out, is it harder than you thought? Or did those teachers set you up for thinking its the worse job in the world but really its not that bad??!!

Think of it like that when other mums dish the dirt on the more miserable/harder aspects of being pg/a new mum. They're giving you a "heads up" about the tough times, but forewarned is forearmed and all that!!

Oh, this used to to do my head right in.
FWIW, my pregnancies were fine, a bit tired but otherwise I felt fine. How you feel my change in a few ekes and maybe you will feel less tired.
My first baby was mega easy and I never experienced the doom and gloom that people were going on about.
Try to ignore them or just tell them straight how this making you feel. That should shut them up, silly fools.

Don't worry about the doom and gloom, if pregnancy was so bad nobody would go on to have subsequent children, enjoy it it's a lovely and special time.

don't dwell on the not so good points, think of all the amazing newborn snuggles/first smiles/first steps its truly amazing, I loved it so much I have 5 :)

Thanks guys, I think I just needed a bit of a moan. I'm actually not hating being pregnant, but it is different to what I imagined (where is the glow people talk of?! lol). I just think it would be nice, now and then for someone to say something positive about it. I was there through their pregnancies and all they ever went on about (in public anyway) was how excited they were, but if I say that it's met with "oh, just you wait..." in a gloomy voice.

Just a down day I think, I'll get over it. Thanks again

well, i know i haven't got an actually babe in arms yet, but if it's positive you want to hear doodlekitty then i'm your girl, as i'm LOVING being pregnant.

I'm 29 and a bit weeks and a little bit tired but otherwise ok. The glow has come (and is now starting to wane!) and i feel great. Hair and nails growing at an amazing rate!

Baby is wriggling all the time which is an amazing feeling and i love it when my hubby can feel them too. I'm sleeping ok now i've got a dreamgenii pillow (mega recommendation- it's transformed my sleep!) and heartburn has disappeared for the time being, although i'm sure it will be back, but i'm prepared with a ninja stash of gaviscon etc.

I am huge- people keep laughing when i say i've got another 10 weeks to go, but i tell them i don't care as baby will grow however fast he likes and there's not much i can do about it. Anyway midwife says i'm measuring spot on and i know i'm eating well and drinking lots of water. Plus i've only put on 7 pounds so far and it's all bump i think.

we know it's not going to be easy and my hubby is quite concerned as i become an evil witch when i've not had enough sleep, but as you say doodlekitty we're not stupid- we are aware that we can only prepare a certain amount and that we will just have to take the rough with the smooth and get on with it like everyone else in the world has done. But we will have a BABY, which will make it all worth while :)

Just enjoy your pregnancy - dont let anyone spoil it for you. Every pregnancy has it's ups and downs and whether you enjoy it or not you'll only ever have one 'first time' and it's really special. Smile politely and dont say anything. That will shut them up! I think it's naughty to scare first time mums. Good luck!

People have been having babies for centuries and carried on!!! If it was that horrendous the human race would have died out years ago.

Doodle were at the same stage. I'm trying to ignore such comments and remind people that I'm not ill I'm perfectly capable of carrying on just as I will be in labour and when he finally arrives. It will be hard, but I'll adjust and cope. I'm also having a down day but for other reasons!

I always try and tell pregant women how wonderful they look and how exciting it is. Why are people so negative?

Good luck with you're pregnancy and baby OP. I'm sure you look gorgeous!

Ignore them and their sad negative comments. I've hated being pregnant this time for a variety of reasons, mainly health, but I am glad I am, and it is sooooo worth it. I love being a mum You will cope. You will have hard days. Your life does not stop because you have children. In my experience, it is what you make it, and it doesn't have to be/ isn't shit

I do sympathise but I had the opposite - went into newborn stage thinking it would all be marvellous and babies and cuddles and yummy mummies and rainbows. Ok, so maybe not exactly that good, but I hadn't been forewarned l - and I really, really struggled to cope. Perhaps they're trying to help? Although everyone does love a good old doom mongering sesh, I suppose...

Anyway, congrats and best of luck with it all! As you say, people do survive it!

I loved being pregnant, of course it has it's irritations but it's bloody magic. Yes, a new baby is hard work, most things that are worth having are! And for me childbirth was absolutely fine, in fact I an secretly a bit sad I won't get to do it again.

Congratulations, ignore the grumps and enjoy every minute of it!

If it makes you feel any better I'm lying here snuggled up with my 4 day old ds and it doesn't get any better than this :)
Anyone who tells you it's ALL doom and gloom is lying! there are tough bits just like anything but it's also the happiest time.

This happens to me quite often. Most my friends and family have had babies and I am one of the last so people feel almost qualified in scaring me more than I already am. I am 22+1 and working 50 hours a week currently but thankfully going on maternity leave at 29 weeks. I just gently remind these "helpful"
comments that none of them had twins so in actual fact they do not know how I am feeling or how I am going to feel at all!

Just ignore them all!

Well I loved being pregnant, right up until the baby arrived, and the pros of a brand new baby far outweigh the cons. I'm pregnant with my second and people don't tire of telling me how much hard work it will be with two little ones.

Once your baby arrives people will then start telling you 'wait until they start crawling/walking/talking/reach toddlerhood, thats when the trouble really starts...'

Ignore them. And once you are a parent, make sure its not you giving the same warnings to expectant mothers! I make a very concious effort to avoid moaning about being a parent - its easy to do but it is not useful or constructive for others to hear.

Let's face it. If it was that bad nobody would have more than one child. There are the doom merchants and people who hated being pregnant. I qute liked being pregnant. But didn't have many discomforts. Only a bit of heartburn and too hot in summer.

Ahh ignore them! You may love being heavily pregnant. I'm 39 weeks tomorrow and I'm loving being heavily pregnant. You don't know how you'll feel untill you're there.

they are just trying to prepare you for the worst so when it doesn't happen, you'll really enjoy it. Thats what happened with me!

I loved being pregnant and only really started to suffer when I went overdue (12 days).

I had a fantastic birth (4.5 hours) with a very short pushing phase (10 mins - head in one cx, body in second cx). No tears, no episiotomy. Just a straightforward birth!

I had a very very easy baby who only woke once in the night from birth and was sleeping 9-9 from 6 weeks. She napped well during the day, self settled and is generally still a very content baby to this day.

Yep, I'm one of those really annoying Mums who has had it ridiculously easy but will probably have the devil child next time

I hated all the horror stories whilst pregnant too and now I feel like asking them what is so hard about it. Then again, I don't want to sound like one of those smug women who like to rub everyone's nose in it... I even find myself making out that she's a nightmare sometimes even if she's not!!

I guess all I'm trying to say is, you might get an easy baby, you might get a more difficult baby. It's all pot luck at the end of the day IMHO.

I hated being pregnant with a list of issues. But that was me. You are completely right everyone is different. The one up man ship of horror stories ps me off big time.

You are more than half way with a new job... Congrats on still being standing at the end of the day and even considering housework. The best part of being pregnant is when you fell your baby move put your hand on your bump and feel happy.

I remember when I was about 8 weeks pg with my first and telling my mum how utterly exhausted I was and she said 'Just you wait til the baby's born' etc. Well she was wrong - my baby slept through the night at an early age and I was NEVER as tired and wiped out as I had been during those early weeks of pregnancy. So not everyone's experience is the same! Ignore them!

To be honest, I think a lot of the problem is that as a mum, I get accused of boasting if talking about things and saying my DS has done well with something (eg when discussing bf-ing, I said how easily he latched on and it didn't hurt). I don't want to come across as boasting so I think it is very easy to fall into habits of saying how tough things are.

Also, I know for me I expected it to be a lot easier with a newborn than it was, I didn't know many people with kids so had nothin to compare it to. It was a massive shock, and I have tried to warn a friend who is pregnant now, who I know is expecting baby will have read the baby books and will be sleeping through at 8 weeks, no problems with feeding, and she will be back to a size 8 before leaving hospital virtually!