First time mother madness!

[Meringue33]

Hi all
So I am about 9 weeks pregnant never been pregnant before it feels really weird and unbelievable! Was really broody so very pleased but also feel a bit mental. Cannot believe how tired I am feel like falling asleep constantly and no idea how I'm going to cope with work for the next 7-8 months. Also don't feel like eating at all and have actually lost weight, trying to force myself have small meals etc but still stressful. Me and boyf have 3 week holiday booked at end Aug and really hoping I feel better by then or hol will be ruined. Also 12 hour flight each way :-(
Worst thing is the secrecy everyone says not to tell lots of people before 12 week scan in case of mc etc. but I really want to share all my thoughts and feelings and it's really hard to keep it secret. Have told my boyf and mum but haven't even told my best friend as she does love to gossip. I feel I am avoiding phoning people or going out as would feel weird to sit there and say nothing about my big news. Also because feeling so ill don't want to plan stuff but struggling for excuses.
Boyf happy about baby but already fed up with me lounging on the sofa like a drama queen and says the sickness and tiredness is all in my head!
Any thoughts, advice etc welcome!
Xx

Boyf is wrong and you can show him this thread! The tiredness is absolute and very normal. Every part of your body is working to support the growth of a brand new human being. You are working from the inside out at an incredible rate - it is just all invisible from the outside. I have never felt tiredness like it. Stay on the couch!
Same with the sickness. Normal and not nice and normal to not like food and lose weight. After 12ish weeks most women start to feel better, so you are nearly there. You will probably feel fit and great come August for your holiday.

It is such a very strange feeling:) do you have any scans coming up to make it feel more real?
Congratulations:)

Congratulations!

I felt exactly the same at first. I am 14+4 now and am starting to feel better/have more energy but the first 12 weeks I felt like shite and stayed in most of the time partly because I was knackered but mostly because of my fear of opening my big mouth and giving it away :)

I think my BF thought I was milking the tiredness thing aswell, I think he sees now though.

When is your 12 wk scan? excited

Congratulations!

You are honestly unlikely to feel exactly like you do now for the next 7 months so don't worry too much. I lost weight like you in the early months and felt dreadful but it started to get better at about 14 weeks and went altogether at 18 weeks. I pretty much sailed through the rest of my pregnancy and had much more energy.

We flew (admittedly short haul) at 16 weeks and again all was fine. Only down side was the fact that my belly went from none at all to 3 inches away from being able to fasten my jeans whilst we were away. I was very unprepared for the sudden change overnight!

I hope you are feeling better soon and can enjoy it.

i know. Men don't understand that the killer tiredness of early pg is like nothing else! Good news is for many of us it goes in 2nd trimester. With DD1 it vanished on the day i hit 12 weeks! :)

Hi there

I'm currently 21 weeks with my first and I have to say that for the first 11 weeks I thought I was dying. I slept and slept and slept, then vomited a bit before going back to sleep. Perfectly normal, but still a bit shit.

Hubby, although lovely, just did not get it. Resulting in me sitting on a bed in Ikea in tears because we had been shopping for AGES and I was so tired, kept telling him I was tired to be told "we'll just do this, then get going". They just don't get it.

At 11 weeks the sickness went (well, pretty much, I still have the odd bad hour), the tiredness followed, although i still get tired more easily its not the same all consuming I think I'd rather be dead tiredness that I had early on.

Ignore the Boyf! I lounged about feeling very sorry for myself from about week 6 until 13ish weeks. I didn't care who I moaned to. Was of course happy to be pregnant but good god did I feel like poo. It does get better though. I'm now 24 weeks and apart from indigestion I feel so much better than I did. In regards to telling people you've not got too long until the 12 week mark. Hang in there!

Aw thanks so much all, I am feeling much better just for hearing that! Fingers crossed it does all sort itself out at 12 weeks! I don't have the scan booked yet, first app with midwife on 2 July. It was only last week took tests and went to GP, I hadn't had my period for ages but still couldn't believe I was pregnant! We had only just stopped using contraception and I thought at 33 it would take me a while to conceive. Thanks so much guys, feeling so much cheerier now I have discovered MN :) :)

Ps thanks to fanof for the tip about clothes. I'm now thinking hol might be a good chance to go tax free shopping... :)

Pps Weedot, what does it mean when people say stuff like "14+4"? Is it weeks and days? I don't even know exactly how many weeks I am, feel a bit daft but I just didn't occur to me to write down period day and now for the life of me I can't remember!

hello Meringue

As far as I know '14 and 4' etc means weeks and days. And I can never remember mine either! Don't worry though, they will tell you at your scan.

Why don't you come and join us on the January 2013 antenatal club thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1498136-Jan-2013-Part-2-The-one-where-we-all-get-a-bit-chubby

Yes it's weeks and days although it's not an exact science they will let you know at your first scan how many weeks+days you are.

Glad you are feeling happier now, gotta love MN! :)

It rocks! You people are lovely. Mrs, thanks but best guesstimate of due date is 2 Feb... :)

Ahh, in that case there will be a February thread that you can join (or maybe you already have).

Good luck, my due date is 26th Jan so knowing my luck it will be a February baby too...

Congratulations.

Your boyfriend is not qualified to comment. The only way he could be, as he hasn't experienced this himself, is if he had some kind of expertise eg being a midwife. The fact that he thinks you're being a drama queen clearly shows he doesn't know what he's talking about! Perhaps some of your symptoms are 'in your head'- it isn't beyond the realms of possibility for eg fear of being sick to make nausea worse. But that doesn't make them any less debilitating or mean you could stop them if you wanted to.

Meringue33 firstly congrats on your great news.

Secondly I am a first timer too and can totally relate to what you have said. Best thing I did was buy myself a book (or three :)) and bought my hubby a book too (one aimed at men, which I thought he might actually read) and now feel a little more clued up on what to expect.

And hubby is better clue-d up too so is not surprised that I am exhuasted and is much better at dealing with my pyschotic mood swings too

Congratulations! Dont feel guilty Bout the tiredness...you are growing a person . I used to racehome from work at 4 to squeezean hour and a half nap in before dh got home then id still be in bed asleep by nine.

I also vommed daily for 11 weeks and assumed a "if I fancy it I shall eat it" attitude for the firstfew months as mist things made me feel ill.

Also, wrt to telling people, give yourself a target to work towards. I hid my pg from literally everyone except dh and told them all on our wedding day at 11 weeks. My Dmums jaw hit the floor it was hard but so so worth it.

Good luck, rest up, and dont do everything in the first couple of months: pregnancy is looooonnngggg so space the exciting purchases and decorating out.

Your boyfriend is spectacularly ill-informed and should keep his unsympathetic opinions to himself, I'd like to see him do better!

For both my pregnancies tiredness for first 3 months was a defining feature - more so for the first one. I literally couldn't stay awake past 7pm, and would happily have dozed off anytime. Your body is mobilising all kinds of nutrients stored away in its cells and building a whole new person, why would that not be tiring?!

I used to joke that 'this building eyelashes lark is knackering' then DS was born with mega-lashes and everyone nodded understandingly - indeed those beasties would have taken it out of you - there is practically a breeze when he blinks.

I was so tired avoiding telling people was not much of a problem as I spent most of the time asleep in bed or on the sofa and hardly spoke to a soul for weeks!

I also was very fit (running 10 miles comfortably) when I fell pregnant and within days I was out of breath just walking up the stairs - it is just what being pregnant does to your body, you're not weak or faking it, you're growing another human being!

Thanks guys blown away by all this. It's funny that loads of my friends have already had babies but apart from one (who said she vommed even in the delivery room) everyone else seems to have forgotten to mention about being sick and tired this stage! Funny thing is the one who said she was so sick... She has two. I'm already thinking "never again, maybe we can adopt a second".

Best thing about today was had a huge "incident" at work after which I was so raging with people that I completely forgot to be sick and tired for about three hours, then realised and was really pleased :)

Thanks for the tip about the book SquealyB I should do that! Sort of feel at the moment I'm not allowed to buy or plan anything until my 12 week scan, my life is on hold!

Ps love the lashes story GP :)

Hi. Congratulations :) I?m about 7 weeks and feel the same, really tired esp at work (lots of naps), no appetite...finding it hard to keep it a secret from family and friends and trying not to get too over excited until week 12. I?m hoping this (and feeling weepy) is all fairly normal. Not had my MW appointment yet so not sure what to expect from that, feel really nervous about it though!
We booked a holiday before I found out and its next week...so nervous about that too. Really looking forward to the hol but hope everything will be ok. There seems to be LOADS of info out there (web/books etc) - it?s a bit overwhelming to be honest.
Hope you feel better soon and look forward to your holiday :) x

Horace cock womble is brilliant! I'm stealing that one.

meringue there is a feb 2013 thread in "ante natal clubs" (can't link on my phone sorry). Come and join us in there

Congrats Goldstar and thanks guys! Still exhausted and a bit fed up loads of housework to do and don't think I can manage. Went to Springsteen on Fri which we had tickets for it was ace. But lay on the sofa all day yesterday resting after. Didn't mind and quite enjoyed a guilt free rest but thought id feel less tired today and now cross as feel just as sleepy!

Omg, first trimester tiredness - I genuinely didn't realise it was possible to be so tired! My DH was wonderful & did all the cooking & cleaning, whilst also working full time & studying for a degree. The tiredness does get easier, but by that time baby brain has usually set in! It's all worth it though when you feel the first kicks! Congrats btw !