bettybat, why do you keep assuming that women are clinging to be being able to drink a small amount and that it's a need? Need and wanting something or desiring it aren't the same thing.
Of course some people do rely on alcohol, and I'm sure lots would agree that one of the reasons they drink sometimes is to relax or deal with stress and other problems. that isn't the sole reason for lots of people.
Personally, I'm glad that the odd glass of wine is ok because I really like wine. I like the taste and sensory experience of drinking it and there isn't anything non-alcoholic that is comparable. Dp and friends will still be drinking nice wine while I'm pg so from time to time I will enjoy being able to have a glass rather than just listen to them telling me how lovely a particular wine is.
If there was evidence that genuinely indicated that no alcohol in pregnancy was best and there was a clear, even if very low, risk with even 1-2 units once in a while then I would have no problem stopping completely.
with the general drinking culture points, it has crossed my mind that the abstention message is part of the same thing, not an antidote to it. It's based on the same approach to alcohol, that the only reason for drinking is for the narcotic effect and it has to be all or nothing.