Fantastic 40+ Mums To Be

[10000fireflies]

A lovely shiney new thread for us to keep chatting on.

Ah, thanks Fjord - just the kind of website I need to look at :) My bumps a bit big too, but UK mws don't seem so bothered... How nice to get an extra scan - sounds like you are well and truly 'in the system' over there now!

knotty I'm like you - alternating nesting and napping (and I also feel horribly groggy each time so try to stay awake, but just can't fight it) Today's plan: do 20 loads of washing, clean out chest of drawers and store all too-small clothes, make butternut squash soup. And sleep on the sofa and watch telly.

eagleray wow a 2 hour appointment - how come? Nice to be taken seriously, I guess! I'm utterly crazy for at least a couple of hours a day - although luckily working at home so can't easily shout at my colleagues. I seem to spend a lot of time apologising to poor DP once the hormone flood recedes. I think it's fair to blame the hormones, tiredness and too much worry tbh, although I wish I was a serene, blissfullly blooming pregnant lady

midgetm best of luck for your scan - it must have really been weighing on your mind. And I agree with you about liking the movements, even if they still feel weird! The little kicks and brushes are lovely, but its the times when her head (?) seems to push outwards against my tummy that freaks me out a bit! What's she doing in there? Fjord mine responds to touch too, especially at night - sooo lovely!

Hi everyone else, hope everyone has a lovely day and gets a chance to put feet up at least once :) [LRM where are you?]

Hi ladies....I am writing this after a really upsetting time at the 12 scan six days ago.
Our baby died at 10 weeks and the following day I had an erpc. Absolutely distress. First time my own children (18 and13) had a experience of loss and besides everything I also felt guilt of putting them through this.
We had talked , DH and I of trying more than once if things went wrong and that gave strength.
so I am resting this week. Off work . Allowing myself to cry even as I write this. And having our dog being lovely( as always she picked up on the vibe) and not leaving my side at all times. )
Maybe I should leave the thread and go to the TTC....
Terrible times.

notsoold, I'm so so sorry. Cry as much as you need my love. Lots and lots of love to you and your family, and good luck when you do decide to try again.

notsoold I'm so very sorry this has happened to you x

Just realised I totally messed up the link posting last night! Doh! How about this? tellmeagoodbirthstory.com/
www.facebook.com/Tellmeagoodbirthstory

Oh notsoold,

I posted before I saw your post. I'm so very very sorry this happened to you. I can't even imagine how you must feel. Cry as much as you need - I hope you are all able to feel this together as a family and gain strength from it. Dogs are so sensitive and often know just what you need. Don't give up if it's what you want but allow yourself the time you need to grieve now. Lots of love xx

Notsoold I'm so sorry to hear your news. Good luck for ttc and hopefully we'll see you again soon.

Just a quick one today. I'm mega stressed due to being busy at work, having builders in and having problems with our borrowing for the extension due dhs self employed status. We've got some money but also need to borrow some. If we can't get it we won't be able to finish the work :(

I've got so much to do today too. Boo. Wish I could just go and have a nap instead :(

So sorry to hear that notsoold thinking of you and your family at this difficult time.

Thanks everybody.... Iwish all the best in your pregnancies....
Xx

Just saw your news, notsoold, so sorry to hear. I hope you are getting all the support you need.

Notsoold so sorry you've had to go through this. Having lost count of the times I have miscarried I really do know how you feel. Keep that hope alive, in the meantime be gentle on yourself. Huge hugs x

Sorry to hear such sad news

So sorry to hear your news notso

OMG, I have zero time to keep up with you all. Baby firefly cluster feeds from 8am to 1pm and then 6pm to midnight or later.... in between I either sleep or go out for some fresh air... or have MW visits. Hope to get into a routine where I can keep up with you all better. Baby is utterly scrummy though and I am v v v happy. Hubby and I had one day at home together before he went back to work though which was really crap.

I might get round to posting my nightmare birth story sometime!! But only if you're really good.

Hugs to all.

FF
xx

Hello Fireflies! Lovely to hear how you're getting on, glad you're so happy . The feeding should settle down a bit soon, but those first few weeks are very intense, but lovely (from what I can remember from 8 years ago!). Enjoy, and I'm "looking forward" to hearing your birth story!

Hi knotty

I probably don't need to elaborate much on - bodged epidural which didn't work for 3 hours+, MWs disbelieving that I wasn't getting any pain relief, pushing syntocinon drip on me, until found epi wasn't sited correctly...Once hero consultant sorted spinal and then 4th epi worked, you could have done anything to me... VE anyone? Feel free, have a rummage? Want to put me in a weird position so you can find baby's HB again instead of mine...? Go ahead!! Shift me around as you like! My labour progressed incredibly fast in first few hours, but then slowed down to zero. Baby was stuck so EMCS. In the end, I'm rather glad I had CS. Recovery ok. Bit tricky being in first floor flat, but have a light buggy now suitable from birth so can get out, therefore avoiding new Mummy madness.

I guess I will have to sign off from this thread soon. I have already asked to be listed as TTC on the 40+ conception thread!! So guess birth hasn't affected me that badly!!

Awww. Little FF being v cute snuggled on my lap and actually allowing me to type with both hands!! Bless.

Hugs and love to all. FF xx

Good god, FF, sounds pretty horrific, but as you say, you do "get over it" if that's the right phrase, once you're holding your little baby . Little FF sounds amazing. Lots of love to you & your family xx

FF many things in your story reflect mine! I think the advice is to leave a year before ttc after a section? I remember cluster feeding. Fond memories not! Well done for feeding. It is not easy, but so rewarding in time x

Oh dear FF. Poor you. Anyway, memories are short when it comes to giving birth trauma. A good job too as I don't think people would ever have another child and the NHS would have been sued to bunkruptcy years ago!
Anyway you both sound like you're well and happy and thats what counts :)

I'm having another stressful day dealing with banks and accountants grrr.

I have an appointment at 11.30 today at the ante natal. I don't know what its for as I just got texted it and couldn't get through when I tried to phone. I'm hoping its a consultant appointment for elcs.

Catch up later.

Thank you midgetm for your thoughts on the induction - sounds like it might not necessarily be the 0-100mph exerpience that I thought. I am still bemused, however, that the obstetrician decided so early that my advanced and doddery age was a good enough (sole) reason to assume that I wouldn't make it to term. I never thought of age as a medical symptom!

knotty, I think I slept through my second trimester, or would have if that pesky work hadn't got in the way. Funnily enough though, I slept better at night if I had had the nana nap after lunch... And I guess we need to stock up for the coming months anyway!

I have a day off today, yay! I am planning on doing a great deal of nothing.

FF, oh dear, what a story, but I am very glad you and baby are doing well. I will miss you on this thread. Lets keep in touch by creating a new thread for graduate mums over 40. Have you decided on a name yet ?

Exexe, sorry about the credit thing, hope you will find soon a way to fund your building work.

VQ have you tried the pushchair yet ? It is so exciting to have a new one...

Notsoold, I am so sorry, my thoughts are with you and family. Take it easy and recover soon.

Midget, has the scan given you peace of mind re amniotic band ?

Fjord, I am French and moved to London 5 years ago, but my mum still lives near Paris and has a lot of space so I decided to go back to hers to have support for the end of this pg and DS1, as DH travels a lot and besides, I am now unemployed and officially a SAHM... We agreed I would stay for about 3/4 months and DH will commute between London and Paris on week ends.

Bytheseaside, have you made up your mind on the pram ?

Welcome to all new joiners, sorry I could not welcome each of you individually as these 2 past weeks have been hectic. I now have my 3.8 y.o all day at home with me and my mum, it is a lot of work to keep him busy ! With an aim to get rid of his addiction to iPad and TV (thank you, dear DH). And I have been going every other day to antenatal classes to prepare birth, relaxation, breathing and pushing technics... I also have to sort out private medical insurance with healthcare provider, clinic... 37 weeks and my hospital bag is still not ready! What am I doing ?

Bump is doing well. Moving a lot at day and night time. BH have kicked in too. Mainly at night. 3 times this week. 2 consecutive nights for 30 minutes. One night off. And again last night for an hour, going from front to back and down to one leg. I am very glad I had the breathing support learnt with MW last week and her reassuring words too: if the contraction does not cover the entire bump and not that strong, it is not labor. I have been telling my bump to wait for Daddy to be with us before doing the real and final push.... Hope she hears me.

Thats it for me tonight. Hugs to all of you.

Not yet tried pushchair outside as no pump for tyres and DH said I could not. Not that I always do what he says you understand. It is now back in box awaiting the new arrival. DD2 loved climbing in and out, and put her many dolls to sleep in it.

Accidentally bought two matching foot muffs too. Never had a new pram, so it is very exciting. DH seems to like it too. Thankfully.

Brizzmus Hope you had a lovely lazy day off.

FF lovely to hear back from you and huge hugs. I know it doesn't matter in the end how they come out but does sound like you had a bit of an ordeal. Congratulations though - and give little FF a huge hug and a kiss from me. Please don't leave us - we will miss you too much.

Thanks for posting your story - It made me really quite decisive about my care as up until you posted I had been dithering.

If I go into labour naturally I shall go to the midwife led unit and try a water birth. with whale music, candles and hypno shit If there is any hint of an induction I am going ELCS. My experience last time was so grim and I can't face the long stay in hospital after (2 weeks drove me actually crazy) and at least with an ELCS you are in and out relatively quickly.

I had a scan today with my lovely consultant (wish you all had one like her - she really is excellent). The band is right by the babies head and she really doesn't think it poses any risk at all. She measured all the blood flow and the baby's measurements and it is all average so no sign of PE and IUGR like last time. All most excellent news. As she was looking at the measurements I thought I saw a willy. I had decided not to find out but was so convinced at what I had seen, that we cracked and asked for confirmation and we are indeed having a boy. So one of each for me. DH delighted - DD devastated - I will need the next 15 weeks to bring her round. I just feel happy and blessed that the baby seems healthy. I really thought it was a boy as it kicks me so often - DD was so much gentler. Nothing like playing to stereotypes straight off eh? Poor DD was muttering 'throw the boy in the bin' - I think we may need to work on that one. Poor thing has her heart set on a sister.

Exexe Hope your appointment went smoothly - whatever it was for hope it wasn't the syphilis clinic - oh no that is just me

Waves at VQ and everyone else - best go get this old lady some sleep x

midget such good news! Congratulations on a boy. Your daughters response was the same as my first, and I was quite relieved I went on to have a girl! As you say, you have time to work on this.

So VQ were you told it was a boy and then it was a girl?

midgetm, tell your DD that younger brothers are much easier to boss around !

Is this a highlight for pregnancy brain? Went to walk out the door this morning to go to work, all nicely dressed, coat on, bag over shoulder, then realised I still had a towel wrapped around my wet hair...