what book would you recommend to an expecting father like me...i really want to do my best to help my wife

[gingerpop]

We are in the 1st month of pregnancy and i want to be of best help to my wife, also would aspire to be a good dad. Please suggest some books, reading material or anything else which would help me prepare well.

Awwwwww aren't you lovely? :)

I love this website to track the pregnancy, though it is american. I love knowing what sized fruit it is each week

Mostly though, just be understanding and patient as she's probably likely to be quite sicky and hormonal etc :)

The expencant Dads guide is good, DH likes it as it explains in simple terms everything he needs/wants to know from a man's perspective (not laddy though)

Even I found it useful and he must have taken it in as he's told me a few bits and peices I didn't know, also think it got him more involved/interested.

They sell it in Boots as I saw it in there the other day but I would Google it to get best price.

nothing with "for men" or "blokes guide" in the title!
unless you need convincing that you might have to cut down on beer and football a wee bit when the baby arrives that is

I found the pregnancy bible good first time round, so did DH, it was nice that he knew what I knew. He was given a "for dads" pregnancy book and hated, plus it was very medically incorrect

I mean Expectant!

"everything he needs/wants to know from a man's perspective"

I don't understand this
science is science, there isn't a man version and a woman version
woman at X weeks often experience Y symptoms... how do you translate that to a man's perspective? and why?

I think, stay away from books aimed at men as they tend to be a bit awful.

how about for fun the baby owner's manual which is funny but useful and concise.

Also the the baby book by Sears.

You could also get what to expect when you're expecting which is great if you want to go month by nonth through all the pregnancy.

I have to say though that both the Mumsnet books on pregnancy and babies were very good, easy to read and funny. When I was pregnant they were selling 2 for the price of one in Tesco.

My colleague recommended this book for my partner: Fatherhood: The Truth by Marcus Berkmann
I bought it and read it before giving it to my OH and it seems to strike a good balance between informative and amusing. Certainly I heard him laugh a few times though he was a bit after the birth chapter.

I also like the babycentre emails (and I have the app too for a daily update)

We find "Pregnancy for men" by Mark Woods pretty good. I found its advice on morning sickness and general tone preferable to the more text book style ones, and its not lads mag like.

Oh god Monkey, sorry for wording it in a way you don't like but I imagine most people can get the gist of what I mean!

no I GENUINELY don't understand the "man's perspective". none of my pregnancy books say "for women" or "for chicks" and to me and DH they are unisex? I honestly don't know why you need to double up on books so that one has a "man's perspective". I honestly genuinely do not get it!

Tonnes of pregnancy books are for women, though, monkey. I'm thinking of the "How to Get Overexcited and Yummy" type genre.

monkeymoma we found that the books that I found fascinating had too much detail for him. A general overview of roughly what's going on, when, is enough detail for him to be getting on with. But that's possibly cos my DF is v.busy doing open university alongside his job etc and doesn't have time to read lots of books.

sorry still don't follow
DH read what to expect and the pregnancy bible whilst completing his masters so not sure what uni has to do with it? they're not complicated and have lots of pictures and easy peasy tables, you can flip right to the week you are on and get a snippet in a few mins

I suppose I wouldn't buy "the yummy mummy's guide to stroking her fabby bump" anyway so maybe I did have more unisex books than some other women? hence the lack of need for "for men" versions?

Well, I guess it's different for everyone. My OH just isn't interested enough in the detail of pregnancy to find the time to read the whole of what to expect and the whole of the pregnancy bible. He's more focused on differential calculus at the moment. If your OH is keen and found the time to read more, that's fab. Different strokes for different folks, right?

I bought "Pregnancy for Men" for my husband and he likes it.

He's also got "You're the Daddy" which is about fatherhood rather than pregnancy.

who reads what to expect type books cover to cover? they're reference books not novels.
you just flip to this week to see what the baby or your symptoms are up to, pretty easy coffee table reading isn't it? its just a few paragraphs per week

if we were put into male female groups I don't remember it either because the men were always there doing something antenatalley

the menfolk being sent to the pub to "bond" though? I'ld be disgusted! how sexist! and DH would have been very insulted

oops wrong thread!

I can also recommend "Your Baby Week by week" for you both, so many of my friends have used this as their bible for after the baby is born, and they say it's fab!

And for your wife "The Rough Guide to Pregnancy and Birth" is really good, it's a very light hearted look at pregnancy week by week.

ginerpop - it does depend what you are after. And it is definitely different strokes for different folks when it comes to pregnancy literature.

What to Expect and The Pregnancy Bible are very detailed (and at times graphic) and whilst at times pregnancy is indeed graphic my DH is a touch squeamish and did not really want to know the ins and out of some of the less savour pregnancy symptoms etc unless he aboslutely had to. But if you want the FULL story these are a good place to start although really aimed more at women as there is a lot of talk about "your body" etc. etc.

My DH is reading Pregnancy for Men and likes it too. Some of the humour can be a touch lad's mag (if you get my drift) but it is accurate and information and can be funny. The downside is the cover is basically covered with sperm pictures so he gets some knowing looks while reading it during his commute.

OP I found the babycentre emails okay, they sent one email a week which said a bit about the baby and a bit about symptoms and a bit about what you should be doing at that stage.. some weeks a few tips about food, other weeks a few tips about exercise or pets etc. I used to forward them to DH

there are also lots of apps for those who don't have time to read offa paper what to expect does one. you can read the daily or weekly info

May I refer you to my earlier thread on this very subject? There were some great suggestions.

Hello gingerpop.

Believe me, no book prepares you for what happens because no pregancy and no baby is the same. At least that is what I found when my wife was pregnant.

Not that you shouldn't read any books of course. Have a good browse of MN and reading the Pregnancy: The Mumsnet Guide advertised above on this page might be as good a start as any.

Remember too the famous quote from General Helmuth von Moltke.

"No battle plan survives contact with the enemy".

Go with the flow. Listen to your wife and don't tell her what to do. She is in charge. You have to take second fiddle. Good luck and congratulations.

The fatherhood book and the baby owner's manual are the only ones my dh had any time for

In order to help your wife just tell her you'll do whatever she says or wants, and stick by it.
That would make me happy!