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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

How late into pregnancy did you find out you were pregnant? And how did you cope?

32 replies

ItsMyLastOne · 26/05/2012 15:02

My friend found out yesterday she's pregnant, and she's approx 30 weeks with a girl.

It's clearly all come as a huge shock to her. She was just doing up her house to sell and move closer to friends. She doesn't live with her BF (I think they've been together 2 and a half years). She says it just wasn't something they were close to considering and there's so much to sort out and get her head around.

So did you find out late in pregnancy and how did you manage to get it all straight in your head, let alone get all the essentials, maternity leave etc sorted?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

GwendolineMaryLacey · 26/05/2012 15:09

Straaaaaaan-deeeeeeeeeeed!

Blimey though, that must be one hell of a shock. Hope it works out for her.

EggWhiteOmelette · 26/05/2012 15:09

Not me, but a close friend found out at 24 weeks

She already had 3 children, so she wasn't naive, but fell pregnant very soon after her third baby was born (in the end, there were just under 10 months between them) and she just put the dodgy periods, exhaustion and struggle to lose wright down to having a newborn, breastfeeding etc

To say she and her husband were stunned is an understatement, but they coped well after the initial shock had worn off. She said she was even glad to got over the 'rough' bit of early pregnancy without even realising she was pregnant.

Sorting out maternity leave is straightforward. She just needs to look over her contract / talk to HR to familiarise herself with what the package is, then inform her employers. It is the last of her worries, really, as it is a legal entitlement.

How does her partner feel about the baby? Is he supportive?

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 26/05/2012 15:10

5 months in with DS. It was a shock as I'd still had what could pass for periods and didn't put on much weight, it took me a while to get my head around it. He was my second baby so I still have the thoughts that I should've known but I didn't.

Original poster

ItsMyLastOne · 26/05/2012 15:20

She's had 4 periods and has put on weight but certainly doesn't look pregnant.

I don't know how her boyfriend feels. I can't really imagine him being a dad and they don't seem all that committed to each other considering how long they've been together. I think she's going to be a fantastic mum though.

She's been working out with work today about her annual leave and maternity. She trying to get it sorted ASAP as I know usually you have to let them know by 29 weeks isn't it?

I think she's also scared about how she'll manage. Her mum died when she was little and her dad and sister live a long way away and have full time jobs. I really feel for her.

OP posts:

littlemissnormal · 26/05/2012 19:10

I found out at 20 weeks, my first scan put me at 24 weeks. It was my DC3, a massive shock as although I'd put weight on I'd put it down to Xmas gain!

Telling everybody else was how I got my head around it, their great reactions really got it sorted and made it real in my head. The only hiccup I felt was about 2 weeks before my due date, I just freaked out a little bit about needing more time. This is probably just a normal pregnancy feeling though!!!

What I've done so far is just to get on with it and deal with it as it goes along. I now have a lush 6 day old DS as part of my family and while a total surprise, he's by no means an unwelcome one.

OhTinky · 26/05/2012 19:17

I found out at 4 months, so missed all the nervous three month bit. And my first scan was a proper baby, not a blob! also meant I didn't have to wait as long til meet my baby!

Was a shock, but I just got on with it, and newborns don't need much, or nothing that you can't pick up in one well-equipped Tescos . More seriously, there is a need to tell work ASAP for mat leave dates, but I don't think it should be too much of a problem for work, and mat leave cover etc isn't really your friend's concern...

PollyIndia · 27/05/2012 19:03

I find these stories incredible. Happened to a guy I know. Well, not him! He had a fling with a girl who worked in one of his bars and then suddenly she had a baby 9 months later and apparently she had no idea she was pregnant.
My boobs hurt, that was my first sign really but that was pretty early - 7ish weeks. By 15 weeks my tummy had popped out and I was getting offered seats on the tube so I would always have known by then.
But we are all different.
Imagine having no idea and suddenly going into labour though!

Pickles77 · 27/05/2012 19:18

Hey, I thought I was nine weeks and
My oh was so mad he split with me
And at 9 weeks I was terrified but at
My dd scan I found out I was nearly 21 weeks. Big big shock! Now nearly 23 weeks, all alone, but coping and know everything will be okay and I'm excited now too. Mumsnet has really been a great help and source of support to me and I class it as my support network. I'm sure ur friend will work it all out and I wish her luck xx

Pickles77 · 27/05/2012 19:20

Also my thread 'if you have a little time is really appreciate it' might really provide her with some comforting reading as the lovely comments help me through x

WantAnOrange · 27/05/2012 19:37

Waves to Pickles Hello! How are you doing?

There is a thread on here somewhere by Strandedbear that you might find interesting, OP.

She's got 10 weeks (roughly) to sort eveything out so I'm sure she'll be fine. Getting her head around it will be the biggest issue. I'm sure her BF will be fine too. Even if they're not that commited to each other, he could still be a great Dad to the baby.

Pickles77 · 27/05/2012 19:38

Waves to wantanorange. Hello! I'm great today- yourself? I'm going to pop off and have a read of that I think

WantAnOrange · 27/05/2012 19:44

I'm good thanks, very pregnant! My bump seems to have doubled in size this week!

Strandedbears story is amazing!

PollyIndia · 27/05/2012 19:46

Pickles, my ex doesn't want to be involved either... we were exes when we had a mini fling in thailand just after new year. So I'm another one doing it on my own!

PollyIndia · 27/05/2012 19:46

Though I was nowhere near as far along - that sounds like a huge shock, especially with dealing with your boyfriend's issues too

Pickles77 · 27/05/2012 20:11

Well hopefully we can keep each other strong too

Original poster

ItsMyLastOne · 27/05/2012 21:30

I've heard of lots of people finding out around 4-5 months which I can understand, but I just find it so crazy she disn't notice all the movements. Apparently it's probably because the baby is growing behind her rib cage or something so she wouldn't feel the movements as easily as most of us do.

I'm getting concerned for her about her boyfriend. He's 22 I think and has literally just finished university. He was planning on working for a bit and going travelling for a year. I must admit I've never really liked him, I just don't think he's the person she deserves and he's very rude and dismissive of some of her friends (including me). I spoke to some mutual friends yesterday who know him better than i do and they were saying they just don't think he's cut out to be a dad and they can't imagine how it'll work. And if he does stick around they think he'll feel resentment about not being able to do what he wanted to do in these post-uni days.

I hope she can get something sorted in terms of where she's living. She's only about 12 miles away from me but it's a long drive across the city and those of us with children can't necessarily rush over at the drop of a hat. The friends who don't have children all work full time too.

Pickles, I wish you luck with your baby and future. I've read a bit of your thread and I'm sure you'll do a great job with your LO.

OP posts:

Notmyselfatall · 27/05/2012 21:38

Hi everyone I can't believe these stories! Wow! What a shock for you all. Finding out late, I'm kind of hijacking here, didn't find out late, 19 weeks with dc3, found out today she's a girl! Have a dd, nearly 11 and ds, 5. I am doing this on my own too, saw a few of you also are in the same boat, could keep each other going hopefully

Pickles77 · 28/05/2012 07:33

Defo I'm all out for helping each other. itsmylastone I think it's really great she has a friend like u looking out for her, and the one bit of advice someone gave me on here sticks in my head most days and helps me plans and that is 'hope for the best but prepare for the worst' x

Original poster

ItsMyLastOne · 28/05/2012 09:33

Oh my god, my friend had her baby yesterday!

OP posts:

StrandedBear · 28/05/2012 09:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Beachbreak · 28/05/2012 09:51

I really feel for you Pickles & PollyIndia with your partners not wanting to be involved. My partner (now husband) and I had only been together a year when we fell pregnant. I'd had unsuccessful fertility treatment in the past so it was a huge shock and I didn't realise straight away. We didn't find out until about 14 weeks, and I thought that was late. I'd been to the docs for unexplained sickness and exhaustion, they'd done tests for glandular fever, water infections and all sorts. It hadn't occurred to my doctor that I might be pregnant either. It seems silly now. Luckily my partner was over the moon, we now have a 2 year old boy, got married and are expecting our second child in July. I was so scared he might run a mile when he found out, it was so soon and unexpected and I was all set to go it alone, but he was really happy about it. Who knows how life it going to turn out eh?

StrandedBear · 28/05/2012 10:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

keepthechangeyoufilthyanimal · 28/05/2012 10:11

Stranded bears story

Original poster

ItsMyLastOne · 28/05/2012 10:18

I'm going to read your thread later when I have more time strandedbears. It sounds like she may have lots in common with you. She only had 48 hours to get used to the idea, and the baby is now in neonatal and weighed 3lb 4oz. I can't even begin to imagine what she's going through, but I know she'll be a fantastic mum!

OP posts:

AlpinePony · 28/05/2012 10:24

Itsmylastone I hope your friend is doing OK - she's certainly going to need a little hand-holding right now, never mind a babygrow or two! Can you get over there today?

My first came a little early and I had big tears because the clothes I'd bought were far too big - but at least I'd had eight months to get used to the idea... not 48 hours!

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