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Original poster

SIL 33 weeks pg and scared. Her mum died in childbirth. Help please.

29 replies

Spidermama · 19/02/2006 15:58

My SIL is staying the night. She's 33 weeks pregnant and we were talking about the birth when she started to cry.

Her mum had pre-eclampsia. Both she and her baby son died in childbirth.

My SIL was 10 at the time. She's now very scared of the birth.

Any wise words?

OP posts:
mummytosteven · 19/02/2006 16:00

Was her mother properly diagnosed/treated for PE? If not, then you can try and reassure her that things will be different as she is being controlled/treated etc.

Por thing.

Original poster
Spidermama · 19/02/2006 16:02

She was mmummy3S. In fact, when she got pg the health authorities in Brazil (where she's from) advised her to terminate but she refused.

How do they treat pre-eclampsia here? Does anyone still die from it?

OP posts:
mummytosteven · 19/02/2006 16:04

I think it's rare for mothers to die from it these days. My mother had PE and was OK. She was treated by bed rest for a few weeks in hospital, then after the birth was put on very strong barbiturate medication (presumably to avoid risk of her having a fit).

I think these days they would monitor your BP regularly, give BP medication if necessary, monitor the baby, and may induce/do an early section if there were serious problems with mother or baby. I imagine that women would still be on bed rest in hospital these days as well.

Original poster
Spidermama · 19/02/2006 16:09

Thanks mummytosteven. She wants an elective cs but they've told her she can't have one. It's heartbreaking to see her so scared.

OP posts:
Enid · 19/02/2006 16:10

shame she can't have an elective (is she having the baby in Brazil?).

mummytosteven · 19/02/2006 16:11

refer her to the nice guidelines. they make it difficult for women to request elective c-s, but it is a woman's right. is her blood pressure OK atm? i was assuming in my initial post that SIL had PE. PE is not inevitably hereditary - my mum had PE, and my BP went low as anything in PG.

Enid · 19/02/2006 16:13

yes my mum had PE and I have low bp when pg so not in the slightest bit heridetary (sorry sp)

Original poster
Spidermama · 19/02/2006 16:17

Yes she has low BP atm.
She's having the baby in Barnsley, not Brazil. Still it's really frightening for her and she wishes she could have an elective cs.

OP posts:
Enid · 19/02/2006 16:18

She should demand one! Can she?

am not very pro-c-section but this sounds like the best solution for her. poor thing.

cupcakes · 19/02/2006 16:18

PE is higher risk in first time pregnancies. I had it border line with ds and was induced and ended up with an emergency cs when my blood pressure went too high.
She doesn't need a cs if her blood pressure remains ok. And obviously if she does start showing signs of PE in the next weeks they will probably review her request for an elective.
People can still die from this but it is incredibly rare (in UK anyhow).

cupcakes · 19/02/2006 16:19

Can't imagine that the worry will do much for keeping her bp low!

throckenholt · 19/02/2006 16:24

has she explained to her health professionals (midwife, consultant) why she is scared ? If not - she really should - then they can help get her through it. The more scared she is the more likely she is to have problems because she is so stressed - it is in everyone's interest to try and help her keep calm.

Original poster
Spidermama · 19/02/2006 16:29

I agree throckenholt. Hence the post.

I've had four natural births but have never had
anything like this to deal with so feel completely out of my depth. She's also alone in a new town (recently moved from London to Barnsley) so hasn't much in the way of support. (Apart from my lovely brother of course).

I'd like to reassure her about deaths from PE being very rare. Also it might help her to know what the health professionals would do if her BP were to rise. She says her mum had a very healthy normal pg and the BP only rose in childbirth.

OP posts:
Ellbell · 19/02/2006 16:53

Spidermama. So sorry to hear about your sil's mum. Not only is PE not hereditary, but some people who get it very badly in one pg don't get it at all in a subsequent one, so it seems to be pretty random. Has she explained the full medical history to her consultant (or midwife, or whoever)? If so, and if they are not sympathetic, then I think she should ask for a second opinion. She could consider going to a different hospital (Sheffield? Leeds?) Are there language problems? I think that she should be allowed an elective section if she thinks she'll feel better. She's not going to have a good labour if she's panicking about it... Not sure if I can do anything to help, but I'm not far from Barnsley, so CAT me if I can (I may even be able to track down a Portuguese speaker at work...!).

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 19/02/2006 17:11

poor woman. My understanding is that PE is very carefully monitored and handled here and as a result usually has no repercussions - I know friends who have been confined to hospital for several says because of it, ie put on strict bedrest. If your sil is the type of person who finds it difficult to be her own advocate could someone else help - go to appointments with her and speak up for her a bit, so her entirely understandable difficulties are properly disccussed? Could she even consider a private mid-wife or a doula? Then she would have a familiar professional with her throughout labour etc, who understood her concerns, and which could be very reassuring for her?

Original poster
Spidermama · 19/02/2006 17:21

Thanks all. I'm going to get her to read the thread in a bit. Language is a bit of a barrier but her English is getting better and better.

OP posts:
whatsmyname · 19/02/2006 17:22

Spidermama, if your SIL is not getting the support she needs from her hospital/midwife, then I think she should change hospital. My understanding is that in such circumstances (birth trauma following her mother's death) she should certainly be entitled to an elective c/s. I suggest she tries a transfer to University College Hospital (Elizabeth Garrett Anderson Hospital is the baby part of the hospital complex). They accepted me as a very late transfer and so far seem very supportive. Obviously it is a distance for her to travel but if she had an elective c/s she wouldn't need to worry about dashing to the hospital in labour. They also have an outof area midwife team.

whatsmyname · 19/02/2006 17:23

oops, not barnes but Barnsley! So guess UCH is too far to travel . Still think it is worth moving hospital to get support needed.

Original poster
Spidermama · 19/02/2006 17:26

Thanks whatsmyname. That's good to know. Is this unicollege hospital in Leeds?

OP posts:
Original poster
Spidermama · 19/02/2006 17:26

Ahhh.

OP posts:
PeachyClair · 19/02/2006 17:36

Hi

I had pre-eclmapsia and so did my sister and we were told that there was a possible genetic link.
However, treatment / care for mothers with PET have improved massively since I had ds1 6 years ago, let alone since your friends mum died, thankfully.

She should be monitored from early on, I was with ds2. She should also see a counsellor, I think it would help, it would me ( I didn't lose my mum but my mum lost her first 5 babies and I was really, really, medically paranoid and convinced I would too).

I've been volunteering for a PET charity (not APEC, a smaller support absed one) for 6 years now and in all that time we have only had two enquiries from poeple (and this is all around the world, where care varies) who lost a paretner to PET.

If she needs to chat to someone who has been there, e-mail me and I can get her a list ofpeople who have been through PET and who she could talk to. My e-mail is peaches and cream 04 @ bt internet . com, no spaces.

HTH

Original poster
Spidermama · 19/02/2006 17:37

Thanks so much peachy. That's really helpful.

OP posts:
edam · 19/02/2006 18:17

Oh, poor woman. NICE guidelines say maternal request can be a valid reason for a c-section depending on individual circumstances - I really think she needs to press her point home (although very hard when you are scared and distressed, I know).

Does your brother go to ante-natal appointments with her? Maybe he could help to explain. Will do some searching for stats. If c-section is out of the question, then I guess she needs to read up on vaginal deliveries and how they are normally managed, to allay her fears. But the hospital should be taking her mother's history very seriously for psychological reasons - fear doesn't really help normal progression of labour, IIRC.

edam · 19/02/2006 18:32

Ok, in haste as need to sort ds out, but the stats seem to be 15 to 20 women a year die from pre-eclampsia/eclampsia. Figure taken from Confidential Enquiry into Maternal Deaths, 97-99 (the most recent version I can find, 2000-02, says deaths from high blood pressure are unchanged from last report). Sounds alarming but deaths in childbirth are rare - 13 per 100,000 births, and pre-eclampsia isn't the leading cause (sadly, mental illness is).

Will try to come back to this when I have a minute.

HTH

jampots · 19/02/2006 19:03

my mum had eclampsia with her first pregnancy which was undetected until she presented herself at hospital because her baby wasnt moving. At 8 months baby had died and mum didnt go into labour spontaneously. With her next pregnancy she was on a strict no salt diet and didnt get it again. I didnt have it either.

I wonder whether she's getting her needs and fears across properly if language is a bit of a problem. Does her dh go with her to the hosp?