SIL 33 weeks pg and scared. Her mum died in childbirth. Help please.

[Spidermama]

My SIL is staying the night. She's 33 weeks pregnant and we were talking about the birth when she started to cry.

Her mum had pre-eclampsia. Both she and her baby son died in childbirth.

My SIL was 10 at the time. She's now very scared of the birth.

Any wise words?

In these circumstances I really think your SIL should have an elective cs, but she may find it hard to be assertive enough to get one, especially as English is not her first language.

Your SIL's fear is not totally irrational. Pre-eclampsia is usually picked up early these days and strictly controlled, but not always. My SIL nearly died when it was diagnosed for the first time when she was 8 months pregnant at a routine antenatal appointment (she'd had high blood pressure for months which hadn't been picked up). She was induced and gave birth later that day but ended up in intensive care for a week. She is now terrified of childbirth and is not having any more children.

I don't want to scare your SIL, just to emphasize that pre-eclampsia can be really serious and her fears are understandable given her family history. Poor woman. I really hope she gets the support and understanding she deserves.

Thanks. We've just spent the whole evening talking about this and she's going back up to Barnsley first thing in the morning.
Thanks for sharing your advice and experiences. I;ll let you know how it all goes.

Changed my name to keep this extra private, but thought the following might be useful if your SIL wants a c section (understandably).

I did not need one one physical grounds, but was allowed to have one on mental health grounds - I won't go into the reasons (loooooong), but it occurred to me that your sil has much stronger grounds for getting a c section.

I went to see my GP in the first instance, he was really helpful and understanding and wrote to the obstetric consultant at the hospital. I met with him and a date was set.

Thanks for that csection.
My SIL comes from Brazil and says 85 % of women there have c-sections. I think she was really upset at being told she can't have one. She sees this as going against her right to choose. So this is useful.