Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Just so upset :(

51 replies

xkatyx · 16/05/2012 18:36

Hi everyone .. I should properly name change for this but I'm just going to get on with it!

Back round: me and dh been together since I was 16 (12 years) was on the pill fell pregnant when I was 19 ( whilst on pill) shocked but we had our baby boy and very happy!!

2 years later we decide we would like another baby, we have our lovely little dd!

We decided that was our family and no more!
Didn't want to use the pill as scared I could fall pregnant again!! So chose condoms!

When our dd was 3 I found out I was pregnant .. Shocked but was ok about it, but had a mc!!
Me and dh decided after that we wanted another baby so tried for another child, I fell pregnant with our daughter ;) .. Very happy and complete!!

So 3 months after our dd was born ( using condoms) we had a tear so I went and took morning after pill early next morning!!!
2 weeks later period is late .. Pregnant!! .. With twins!!!

This was very stressful but our beautiful twins are here and really couldn't imagine life without them!!

So we decide enough is enough dh has a vasectomy .. Gets the all clear .. And today I'm 6 days late Done a test and a very faint positive .. Infact did 2 both same!!

I know some people find it hard to get pregnant and we are so so blessed with our children but oh my god really it's just so unfair .. We can't have anymore .. We have 5 children last 3 under 16 months!!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
sparklekitty · 16/05/2012 18:42

I can understand why you're upset hun, everyone's situation is different. This sounds very stressful and difficult. No advice I'm afraid but wanted to sympathise x

CupOfBrownJoy · 16/05/2012 18:42

Oh wow, OP that's tough.

I don't really have any advice, except if you really want to look at all your options, can you and DP book an appointment with a clinic and chat it over with a professional?

If you really don't think you will cope, there are other routes to take.... Sad

Original poster
xkatyx · 16/05/2012 18:44

Unfortunetly I think we won't be able to have another baby .. I would never ever of gone down this route if it was a rekless accident ( not meaning to offend anyone at all) but I just never could .. But we can't do anymore to stop having babies!!

OP posts:
CupOfBrownJoy · 16/05/2012 18:51

katy if that's the best decision you can make for your family, then try not to feel bad about it.

These things happen, you will act in the best interests of the children you have. Please try not to feel guilty (impossible I know)

Babylon1 · 16/05/2012 18:52

Oh sweetheart i do feel for you, I got pregnant with dd1 on pill, dd2 on depo injection, and ds1 with a mirena coil.

DS1 is just 19 days and I booked an appt with GP yesterday to be referred to he sterilised ASAP.

I think this is what I want, but I've felt so down today at the thought of never being pregnant again Sad

Only you and DH can decide what to do honey, stay strong though xxx

Original poster
xkatyx · 16/05/2012 18:59

Thank you all so much, I had a csection with my twins and was going to have my tubes tied but I had heavy bleeding and loads of problems so they were not able too!!

I also hated the fact that I never had the choice again and kind of mourned not bein pregnant again .. But once dh had his vesectomy I felt relieved.

OP posts:
homeaway · 16/05/2012 19:08

I really feel for you, not an easy situation for you . Sending you hugs .

CupOfBrownJoy · 16/05/2012 19:12

OP I don't think anyone reasonable would judge you for not continuing with the pregnancy in your situation.

goingmadtrying · 16/05/2012 19:42

oh bless what a difficult situation, i don't think your being unreasonable feeling this way, take some time to think.and talk things through and do what is best for your family sending you lots of love and hugs xx

needsomesunshine · 16/05/2012 20:03

I am 'accidently' on my fifth. Was so upset when I found out but now I think everything happens for a reason. Ive been there done that with twins & a toddlerSad. But I love having a big family now, things are tough sometimes but wouldn't change it for the world.
Have you posted on larger families? You often get a different viewpoint.

littlepinkfizz · 16/05/2012 20:03

Lots of hugs and chocolate! You will both know what is best for you and your family.take your time to think about it - write down pros and cons - it really does help x

Original poster
xkatyx · 16/05/2012 22:01

Thank you all I really appreciate you all taking the time.

I dot physically think my body could carry another baby :( with my 3rd she was premature I was in and out of hospital, and with twins the same .. I bled heavily.

I have 5 children and just can balance the time for them all now, I can't go out on my own as it is as 3 babies under 16 months is very difficult :(

We have a 7 seater jut couldn't afford anything else.y goodness I just couldn't imagine trying to handle a new born baby and two 1 year olds and a 2 year old 7 year old and 9 year old

My dh had his op so we would never ever have to face this decision

I took a digital which has come up not pregnant so I am clinging on to that at the moment

OP posts:
goingmadtrying · 17/05/2012 07:34

oh Katy i so feel for you :( what an awful situation to be in, im not sure whether to say this but im sure your already aware the digitals are not as sensitive so a faint positive may not yet show . i would make a appointment with your gp sooner rather than later so you can discuss the best way forward, from what you've said you have made your decision and i think to make it easier on you it might be better for things to happen sooner than later, like i said you are in an awful position and i feel for you, please look after yourself sending you.lots of love xxxxxx

realhousewifeofdevoncounty · 17/05/2012 07:45

Goodness you are fertile! I 'm glad I'm nit the only one who has got pregnant whilst on contraception, I am always met with cynical looks about that one. I don't know what possibly more you could have done to prevent yourself getting pregnant, you poor thing. Having one baby is hard enough, let alone with your big young family and your health problems. Only you can decide what to do about this pregnancy, but whatever you decide you can at least be clear that you acted very responsibly and did everything you thought was possible to prevent the pregnancy. Perhaps after this pregnancy you might consider sterilisation or even a hysterectomy yourself? It sounds extreme but you really do seem to get pregnant very easily. Good luck op in whatever you decide, and trust me noone would judge you whatever decision you make. X

silverangel · 17/05/2012 08:42

Xkatyx, I remember you from the twins thread. I can't imagine being pregnant now and I only have the twins! It is your decision what to do and you have to do what is right for you and your family. How does your DH feel about it? Could you perhaps have some counselling before you have to make a decision to help you work through your feelings? I agree with going mad - if your mind is made up, better to get things in motion sooner rather than later.

Xxx

silverangel · 17/05/2012 08:43

Just read the digital came up -ve, have you retested this morning?

Original poster
xkatyx · 17/05/2012 09:25

Thank you everyone, I did another digital this morning an not pregnant came up!!

I feel very relived but as dh said this what happens before, as the digitals do not seam to be very sensitive!!

I will maybe get one more line test and if it comes up with faint line I'll go to gp and if negative just consider myself lucky this time!

I also get funny looks when I explain I fall pregnant of contraception ..I suppose unless someone has had a an experience of it they maybe won't believe it.

I can get to the shop with the kids so I may ask
My (who is literally having kittens) to pick me one up.

Dh has been great .. We both said last night it would be completely unrealistic to have another baby, it wouldst be fair on te children we have now and financially we couldn't do it either.
So as for that horrible decision I think is made :( just so sad as I love children and consider myself very lucky to have the 5 I have and be able to be a sahm, if they was anyway we could have another and my body could cope or we won the lottery I would jump at the chance to make our family bigger :(

OP posts:
realhousewifeofdevoncounty · 17/05/2012 09:46

That's good news Katy. Hope there are no more faint lines! I fell pregnant within 3 months of meeting my partner whilst on the mini pill, which was ironic as I had been with my previous partner for 4 years and not really used anything at all! I think people may have thought I "trapped"him, but I always joke that he trapped me as I was in the middle of my medical degree and the last thing I wanted was to get pregnant!

Perhaps you should go together and see your gp? They can retest youand perhaps even do your dh's sperm count just to put your mind at ease?

Original poster
xkatyx · 17/05/2012 09:51

The ironic thing is with the 3 babies at home it's impossible to get out to the gp unless dh sit with then and I go.

So so far no symptoms at all .. I feel Like my period is coming, I'm in and out of the toilet and 2 negative digitals.

The lack of period and 2 very fair lines is the only thing to go at the moment! And maybe my period is just getting back on track after twins?!

OP posts:
realhousewifeofdevoncounty · 17/05/2012 09:58

So you must be just over a week late now? Are you bottle feeding? Had your periods been back to normal before? It does seem like it would be almost impossible to get of if your dh has had a vasectomy, but with your history I can see why you're worried. I guess most pg tests, even digital ones would be sensitive enough to show a positive this long after your missed period so hopefully you are ok. X

Original poster
xkatyx · 17/05/2012 10:41

Since having the girls my period has been every 22 days!!
Today is day 29.

Before the girls my period was exact every 28 days with out fail never once late!!

So I was hoping maybe they are going back to 28 days do just 1 day late?? Well half day really.

I think it must be impossible myself I don't believe it .. It's really just the lack of period that is slightly freaking me but it could jut be adjusting.

I also said if I was too be 7 days late I would expect a dark line and "pregnant" on digital!!

OP posts:
realhousewifeofdevoncounty · 17/05/2012 11:26

Ah well fingers crossed! Since having my dd my cycle got progressively shorter by 1 day each month, so period would always be a day early and keep catching me out! Then suddenly it went back to 28 days again! I must admit though I'd be worried if I got a faint line as I'm aware that false positives are a lot rarer than false negatives. Let us know how you get on over the next few days. X

lisad123 · 17/05/2012 11:30

Hope you get results you want x

Original poster
xkatyx · 17/05/2012 15:54

Thank you, it has been so nice to able to talk about it dh is Woking and I don't want to tell anyone incase!

OP posts:
StateofConfusion · 17/05/2012 16:42

Hi katy just here to add support and suggest tescos or first response tests. The digital pregnant/not pregnant ones claimed my dd and ds didn't exist for many many tests, my mw even said tescos are very reliable.

I hope you get the result you want and either way there will be lots of support here, take care xxx