Obsessed

[PicklesisScared]

Okay, strange post here. After deciding to plough ahead onto the long road of single motherhood (with family support-of course ) it has genuinely shocked me a) how much magazines and books suggest I should buy? (are they for real) and b) how much everything costs. I don't have much money- well none. So I can't be like the catologued women I desire to be, im wondering if anyone else is at this point or has been? I'm in the middle of leaving my partner so im scouring eBay, charity shops, and entering tons of competitions and I'm becoming a coupon collector!. Does this sound really bad and cheap and mean I a) shouldn't be doing this or b) am going to be a bit rubbish. Thanks guys, Pickle, bump and Jack Russell x

It will be fine :)

You don't actually need vast amounts of stuff. I've spent hardly anything this time, obviously that's partly because we have some bits left over from last time but also because I now realise how much is unnecessary.

Why don't you post your 'shopping list' and we can suggest stuff which might not be completely necessary or ways that you could budget?!

Good luck - you sound like a strong lady to me :)

For my PFB I gave far too much credence to the magazines and ended up spending hundreds and hundreds on brand-new stuff, most of which only got a few months' use in the end.

2nd time round, I am now the eBay queen. Have picked up a fab silver cross pram for a fraction of what it would be in the shops, and it is in great nick. The only stuff I have bought new is bottles and a steriliser, only because there was a sale in asda. I have even bought a 2nd hand breast pump this time.

Think about it another way, you won't be exposing your LO to all those weird fire-retardant chemicals they put in brand new bedding, clothing etc. And you won't do what most first time mums do which is kick yourself when the 'must-have' item you spent silly money on turns out to be completely useless

ebay / charity shops oh and NCT nearly new sales are fine.

Most baby stuff is only used for a few days / weeks anyway, so has no time to wear out.

Also look out at boots... the sometimes to mix n match 3 for 2 on ANYTHING baby.

Useful for some of the things that you will require (new) like maternity pads etc etc
They even do things like buggies / highchairs / baby monitors on mix n match 3 for 2, but pick up some ebay bargains instead.

when i was pg I permenantly watched baby within 5 miles.... i got a lovely fisher price baby swing for 99p and collected it, from 4 roads away
I got my car seat brand new, but waited until it was in a half price sale at mothercare.

also sainsburys sometimes do half price on everything baby
I got my lansinoh cream then for £5 instead of £10

Awwww it's hard not being sucked into this idea that to be a good parent, you must buy everything under the sun AND it must all be new!

DH is the opposite and refuses to buy almost anything because he says we're being ripped off if it's remotely baby-related

Get second-hand crazy - Gumtree, Freecycle, Ebay, NCT sales, charity shops. Like another poster said, some things you might only literally use for a few months, so the item will be practically like new anyway.

As for what you actually need, I'm pregnant with my first and literally all I am getting is:

Bedside cot that is up to 2 years of age so longevity - second hand
Mattress
A sling - this is obviously a personal choice and ours isn't based on cost, but the difference in price between a sling and a pram is immense!
A few bottles/pumps as I hope to breastfeed
Re-usable nappies - this is the biggest layout for a starter pack
We're asking for a range in age sizes for clothes to see us through a year, hopefully - if our family all get a few things in a mix of sizes, it can really add longevity
A car seat - this is the biggest layout versus use as neither of us drive so we're looking into a baby -> 4 years one
Blankets, changing mat and cot bumpers and things - I'm keeping an eye out online

We're not bothering with a baby bath or a changing table or any such things! You will be fine - start stocking up slowly on small things you can afford like baby clothes as they can be so cheap once you realise you don't need designer or even high quality! Make a list of the core things you do need, and share it with family, asking nicely if people can club together or spend the next few months looking online for second hand versions :)

Babies don't need a lot - don't be suckered into the mass consumerism. It's like weddings - as soon as you start looking at stuff, they stick an extra 0 onto the price, and tell you that you need a gazillion things!

Lots of good advice here, just to add that you can get Lansinoh lanolin on prescription from your GP.

Hey Pickles you really shouldn't worry about thus :) I'm lucky I could spend more if I wanted but don't see the value, babies grow so quickly it doesn't make sense and they won't remember that designer outfit they puked on 10 mins into wearing, bless 'em :)

All the fancy techy gizmo's are just that as well so if you can pick em up cheap great, but you'll manage without. Family will prob buy you little bits too so just share a list with them to spread the load.

Don't listen to magazines - u will end up with a house filled with baby stuff that never gets used by cost a fortune!!!!!!!!!!! Freecylce is a good way to get stuff and can really help out x don't think if it's not new it's not the same I wasted so much money on my first child on stuff I never used like a £200 high chair he refused to sit in- as long as its clean and cozy is all that matters!

We have over £1200 worth of 'essential kit' but only spent £120. We used eBay, and really shopped around for the rest - nothing cost the RRP.

This includes:
Silvercross Sleepover Pram with matching change bag, parasol, rain cover and Moses stand. As new.
Silvercross Ventura car seat. Brand new.
John Lewis Moses Basket, mattress and bedding. As new.
Mothercare swaddle blankets. As new.
Mothercare baby sling. Brand new, in box.
ELC Playmat. As new
Tommee Tippee essentials set. Brand new but only 1/3 of RRP.

Loads more but I'm still suffering from baby brain as DD is only a few weeks old!

As others have said, eBay, Gumtree, your local Facebook selling page (our Playmat cost me £5 - and is sold by ELC for £50) and was found on FB.

Also, if people offer to buy stuff that wouldn't be practical, don't just accept to avoid being rude. Say that would be lovely but have they seen XXXX, which is cheaper/more practical/matches your other stuff. People would much prefer to get you something you need, and won't be offended.

Charity shops can be a gold mine too - I saw a lovely Moses basket for £5.00 this week - even cheaper than mine had been at £9.50!

Finally - don't worry about clothes - just get and vests for the first few months - get all white - they're cheapest and can all be shoved in the washer together, meaning you don't have to do more cycles. Baby will be more comfortable and changing nappies will be easier.

Hth.

Just get sleepsuits and vests

Ahhhh i saw your other post. Glad you've decided to go with your heart and to 'see' you so upbeat and excited about the bump.

Ive just had dc2 and i cant believe half the shite i bought for dd1 compared to what im actually really using. I bought an ikea cot (side comes off so great as a bedside cot but also as a bed when they get older. Nursery furniture was just normal furniture but i got a tallboy wardrobe( or just adjust the rails inside a fullsize one if you want).

I literally use a bouncy chair,cot, a carseat, sleeping bags, vests, babygros, nappies, bumcream,wipes, pram and my boobs.

Oh and lansinoh. Always.

I'm due in December with pfb, and will be purchasing the bare minimum.

Babies need food, sleep, cleanliness, warmth and love. So, bottles (for expressing, I hope to bf successfully), cot with bedding (will probably make my own, ikea do a cot for £25 and mattress £35), 2nd hand nappies with related paraphernalia, and some baby grows.

Anyone buying you a present will either ask or get outfits/toys. My "must have new" items are cot mattress and car seat. Everything else can be scrimped on imo

and now all the experienced parents may point and laugh

And you know, the cost of a baby magazine would probably get you a couple of baby gros so don't give them your money, get the things you need instead

Oooooh TheDoctorsWife thanks for the Ikea cot tip! What do you think - take a chance it could be used as a bedside cot? It only has two adjustments to the Mothercare's eight but still...it's still cheaper than the second hand version of the Mothercare one that I've found.

Hi Pickles, another lurker from your original thread. Glad you've made your decision to keep your baby and to hell with your OH if he isn't mature enough to deal with it.

Re. your current questions:

I'm now 37+6 weeks, and the sum total of baby magazines I've bought is..... 1. Because it had a free car sun shade with it. Your comment about becoming the coupon queen certainly resonates with me as I've been looking up all the freebies available and working out what would be useful, e.g. Pampers website - signed up to them & got a package which included 10 free newborn nappies & a small pack of wipes (about 2 days supply for a newborn, but better than nothing), Asda Baby Club to get a voucher for the Huggies starter pack (27 newborn nappies, full size pack of wipes & cotton wipes & £6 of vouchers), etc, etc, etc.

Don't worry about stocking up at the Baby events all the stores are doing this early on (think Asda's current event is just about to end, Aldi have got one on & Boots have got one on this month) - I was a bit jittery about wanting to get stuff early, but DP (who's already a father of 2 & used to work for a large nursery furniture company) pointed out that all the large companies hold baby sales/promotional events 3-4 times a year. Boots' last Baby & Toddler event was February - March, and the current one is May 2nd to May 29th (so seems to be about 4 weeks on, 9 weeks off). Mothercare is now on its 3rd sale since I found out I was expecting (although I still think they're on the pricey side). Patterns seem to be fairly easy to follow.

And eBay is brilliant - got my travel system off from someone only 2 miles away from where I live for only £50 - would have been £280 brand new at full price. Also saw some brilliant deals for secondhand cots/cotbeds on there, and I know my ex's parents who are keen carbooters used to buy boxloads of baby & toddler clothes off eBay for peanuts to sell on at car boot sales at 50p or a £1 a piece/outfit, and would easily make a shedload of profit on a box of clothes so it shows how much you can get in them.

BTW bettybat - here's a link for the cheap Ikea cot mentioned by PurplePidjin - www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/00115751/ - think she mixed up the price of the mattress & the cot, but still only £60 all in for a brand new cot. I've been looking at getting one myself as a cot for the nursery. Having looked at it in store I don't think you could assemble it with one side off for a bedside cot, but take a look yourself if you want to. HTH.

It's all very confusing Enfyshedd This is the one I thought was meant:

www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/20187879/

Sorry to hijack OP - but maybe this can turn into a money saving, ideas swapping thread :D

Purple, I didn't know you were pg!!! Congrats !

(it's knittingrocks btw )

Babies need somewhere to sleep, something to keep them warm (blanket, vests, babygros), nappies, and something to eat - either breast or bottle. Transport - be that a pram or sling. A car seat if you have a car.

The rest is pretty much either unnecessary faff or just nice to have.

Think this could defo be a money saving thread. Some brilliant ideas going on. Getting excited now :) also think its almost quite fun searching for things. It's kills some of the time :) and Bordem as I'm very very impatient!!! I shall share good money off ideas when I see them. And yes threw the magazine in with the weekly shop and upon looking at the price just now I shant be subscribing!!! Lol x

i got a baby towel in my bounty pack so thats one thing to cross off your list

when the time comes you can get sudocream /calpol / nurofen on presciption too so dont spend £ on those items

bettybat - lol. The most expensive cot Ikea do as well! Looks like this one - www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/00118815/ - can be assembled one sided, but only on the lower base fixing (check the PDF for the assembly instructions). None of the others have a picture of them with one side removed, so I

Whoops - pressed post a bit early...

bettybat - lol. The most expensive cot Ikea do as well! Looks like this one - www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/00118815/ - can be assembled one sided, but only on the lower base fixing (check the PDF for the assembly instructions). None of the others have a picture of them with one side removed, so I think this is the only one which would be safe to do this with.

Glad you don't mind your thread being turned into a money saving thread Pickles - then again, "Obsessed" might not be such a bad title as penny pinching can become a bit of an obsession!!

Curvy, I'm only 11+1 so it's technically still a secret I can only reliably keep other people's I'm truly shit

Buy super king sized flannel sheet from tk maxx/wherever. Measure width and length of cot mattress. Measure depth.

Cut sheet up to get pieces that are (width+depth+1")x(length+depth+1")

Cut an L shape from each corner, with each limb of the L being the depth measurement minus 1/4". See together to make a box.

Fold a 1/8" seam, turn again 3/4". Cut four pieces of elastic 6" long. See up the seams with a piece of elastic in each corner.

Voila, cot sheets...

I got my cot halfprice from mothercare, baby clothes from asda, lots of stuff from ebay including:
Brand new complete birth to potty decent reusable nappy set for £30
Changing unit/wardrobe that will last until they're 4/5 for £25 as opposed to £450 new!
Beautiful pram for £5 which is immaculate

I signed up to all of the baby groups from big supermarkets, pampers etc, cow&gate got vouchers and packs through the post.

Betty.

Its the gulliver cot.
www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/90115997/

Although it tells you to put the base at the bottom etc when taking the side off its because its for using it as a bed. We keep it on the top level, take the side off (you dont lose any stability etc or flexing etc) and butt it up against my bedside. Theres a small gap between the two where the cot edge meets bedstead and i roll a towel and plug it up. We also use those bungy cords to brace the cot to the bed so they dont edge apart with tossing and turning etc.

I find it brilliant because i feed dc's and slide them back over in their sleeping bag etc so no covers of theres caught in mine. Only drawback is you have to slide down and out of bed if you need a wee in the night!
Hth