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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

I obviously have the weirdest MIL, where do i collect my award?

43 replies

vix1980 · 27/04/2012 10:11

Ive posted numerous times before about her behaviour, within a week or so of finding out i was pregnant, she went and bought her own moses basket, baby bath and products, sling, cot bed,redecorated her daughters bedroom into a nursery, all for "when she has the baby". since then she has reduced her working hours by 20 a week so she can have the baby over 1 night then wont have to rush around the next day trying to get ready for work. all this she seems to think will happen around 2-3 weeks old. shes also an alcoholic so has no chance in hell of having the baby to stay till i say so (and even then tbh id have to be off my face on drugs she'd spiked me with).

on sunday we went out for bil's birthday, as usual she gets a bit too drunk and we start talking about names, everyone is throwing our useful and funny names and it was really fun, mil then starts saying how my dp should have been called carl, i say oh right dont hate the name, dont love it, so when i say ill keep looking she gets really offended and repeats the story of how it should of been dp's name. i try to ignore her then and carry on talking to the others, i hear her talking to herself (saying carl over and over again) this went on for a good 40 minutes where whenever there was a break in someone talking she would just keep saying carl. if it was a child i could explain it as a game but this is a 60 year old woman having a tantrum about a name literally screaming in my face CARL, CARL, CARL, CALL IT CARL. in the end dp and fil told her to shut up as she was doing everyones head in. i ignored her the rest of the day she;d obv had too much to drink and was just acting pissed.

the next day we visited again and she said to me quietly (stupid me thinking i was getting an apology for her behaviour), She said i should think seriously about calling it carl, and she is going to call it carl regardless so it could be a nickname for the baby. i didnt know whether to be or just laugh at her.

the funny thing is we havent even found out the sex of the baby so it could be a girl, point me in the direction of my award please.....

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

KatAndKit · 27/04/2012 10:15

I am speechless at this one. She is off her rocker. However you will have to get your dh to make some things crystal clear to her before the baby is born, better to make it clear now so she can get over the idea of the baby staying with her and being called Carl.

Have you considered Carlotta as a girls name :)

mrswee · 27/04/2012 10:15

Brilliant example of a crazy MIL... first prize goes to vix1980!

ellangirl · 27/04/2012 10:16

Oh that's quite sad vix, she sounds like she really has some issues. Clearly thou you're going to have to put her right, and get your dp to talk to her too!

WinkyWinkola · 27/04/2012 10:16

Erm, do you think she might be mentally ill? I mean, seriously ill. She's changing her entire life around in anticipation of this baby as if it is she who is going to be a new parent. It's extremely strange you're right but my mil who behaved the same (but has never worked so didn't have to reduce any hours) completely freaked me out by her behaviour.

It's great that you're taking it all in your stride but keep those boundaries very firm.

welliesandpyjamas · 27/04/2012 10:17

Carla. Call it Carla.

(Sorry, so unhelpful! She sounds difficult)

pictish · 27/04/2012 10:17

Here is your award OP.

Fucking hell!!

Don't know what to say!

goingtoofast · 27/04/2012 10:18

Very bizzare, she is only going to get worse!!!

WinkyWinkola · 27/04/2012 10:20

And don't call it anything remotely close to Carl/Carla/Carlotta/Carlito. You give an inch...

HerrenatheHHHarridan · 27/04/2012 10:25

Wow.

Whilst she is clearly insane and you have my deepest sympathies, I suppose it is a good thing that your DP and FIL realise she is insane and tell her to shut up ....

Since we're on the subject of weird MILs: I have got two (lucky me ) and they both have their weirdnesses.

DH's biological mum (MIL) goes mad if anyone spills anything on her pristine carpet or actually uses the kitchen to, like, COOK in. Ever. She lives off microwavable Waitrose meals and eats them in fear of mess.

His stepmum on the other hand (SMIL) is slightly less odd but still does things like borrow my apron to cook in and wipes her mouth on the edge of it. I'm so glad I caught her doing it because then I knew to burn boil it clean!!

Neither of mine are a patch on yours though.

And Carly is a nice name

Quejica · 27/04/2012 10:38

Caro is a nice name

Sastra · 27/04/2012 11:21

In all honesty, as a psychologist this is saying to me that your mother in law is really having some difficulties. Can I encourage your family to try and get your MIL to your GP, or have the GP visit?

Her behaviour sounds quite concerning, and I would hypothesise that she is drinking more than perhaps you are aware. I am concerned about the potential harm she could come to.

Good luck.

Original poster

vix1980 · 27/04/2012 13:36

Im so glad you all agree that she is mental . I dont think she is aware of her behaviour but thats how i explain it to people that its as if she is the 1 having the baby, i jokingly said once will i walk in and find you trying to breast feed the baby - and she went silent. (i dread to think about the actual answer, i dont think shes that mad but you never know).

dp is on my side luckily, thinks she weird aswell. she congratualted me on my not drinking through pregnancy and said she was always amazed when she heard people hadnt drunk for the whole 9 months. she does have some serious issues, but to be honest its not my problem, anytime ive tried to help my advice falls on deaf ears, she'll still carry on drinking, just now she'll have an extra 20 hours a wk to do it in .

I told my mum before the latest as she loves to hear what crazy things mil is up to, even my mother who is unshockable sat open mouthed for a good half hour, in the end she told me to start calling her richard. yes richard id love a cup of tea, no thanks richard ive got to get back. till she gets the message that shes being weird (which i doubt she would anyway).

OP posts:

Original poster

vix1980 · 27/04/2012 13:37

p.s. any name now beginning with a C is certainly off our names list! thanks for the suggestions anyway

OP posts:

HaggisNeepsTatties · 27/04/2012 13:40

I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh, but the thought of you calling your MIL "Richard" made me nearly pee my pants!

Original poster

vix1980 · 27/04/2012 14:01

I think i have to call her it now dont I, Meant to be popping in on the way home from work to pass on a birthday pressie for Fil, may begin my Richard mission tonight

OP posts:

horseynewmum · 27/04/2012 14:55

OP i thought i had it bad sometimes wanting to smack my MIL but you win hands up. On a serious note I think you should speak to your DP about getting your mother to see a GP or GP to see her as she sounds like (and in the politest way) complete off her rocker. I mean the whole nursey thing is scary. I hope things improve before you kill her :o

ohanotherone · 27/04/2012 14:59

Sounds like she is more than an alcoholic......

AWARD AWAREDED!

GotMyLittleLamb · 27/04/2012 15:06

WTAF, mental. Love the idea of calling her Richard, your mum sounds ace.

Although I would like to contend for the award, just on the same theme of names, my MIL sent us a card when DD was born saying 'congratulations on the birth of Elizabeth'....DD is named Sophia. No idea where is came from, get the feeling she is going to call her Elizabeth regardless....

Yoghurty · 27/04/2012 15:11

she is going to call it carl regardless

I'm so sorry, but I just choked on my tea with laughter at this! It's tickled me something chronic!

Also, I am allowed to laugh (IMO!) as I have a similar MIL who says things that leave me thinking 'really? Is that a joke, or are you being serious?'
I'd never leave my children with her either and it's not because she has an alcohol problem!

friedfrog · 27/04/2012 16:25

You poor thing! She sounds like she may need some help.

My MIL is also a challenge! She is a hoarder...a serious hoarder. Last time we took her out for dinner with her I noticed her collecting the after dinner mint EMPTY WRAPPERS and putting them in her handbag. I asked her what she was doing and she flipped.

She has a spare room with just tables in it, she has not hoovered in over a year as there is not enough space (she shaked some flea powder on the carpets last summer and its still there), she leaves "important" paper work in the middle of the lounge carpet so she knows where it is, and last week she was writing song lyrics on an envelope for Duffy. She has bought a kindle but has not computer or internet......the list goes on.

I have said that also the baby will not being doing overnighters etc....its too dangerous as the piles of stuff are towering. But I feel like I am being mean.....?

vix what are you going to do?

Oh also she also got angry with me last week as I would not let her put a blackbird in a taxi with a £5 to go to the vets..........!!!!!!

Frog

elizaregina · 27/04/2012 16:35

I have to say I feel sorry for her and agree there is something wrong there...

Personally I find this behaviour much easier to deal with than my MILs repressed and cold demenour...no one in the house EVER looses thier temper, but not in a good way, in a cold Nurse Racthet ( one flew over the cuckoos nest) way....

I thikn with bizarre stuff like this there is more of a toe hold to do something with. My MIL is a cold icy rock face...I will never get a foot hold with or get a toe up!

I would love to know why PIL can go soooo mad when a new baby on the way...is it reliving thier own, going to not make the same mistakes, have a better relationship with baby than had with thier own children?

Mine did same thing getting loads of stuff in as though she was going to be the mother then she went mad too....

blushingmare · 27/04/2012 17:38

Yep she's officially bonkers! Good luck!

anniewoo · 27/04/2012 17:54

Jeez i thiught mine was bad. Though she did apologize 20 odd years later for her nastiness. You definitely deserve the award though i do feel sorry for your mil- clearly not well

WinkyWinkola · 27/04/2012 18:15

I too never understood the PIL going bonkers and behaving as if parenthood were happening all over again.

I mean, I'm all for a bit of excitement and interest but the obsession that goes on suggests to me that it's not actually the gcs that drive their behaviour. Rather it is a lack in the lives of the pil.

margarethamilton · 27/04/2012 18:20

Wow! I was dreading seeing my crass FIL at the weekend but that post has put his admittedly bizarre behaviour into some perspective! (shock)

Take the award!

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