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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Worried Husband posting - be nice please :-)

62 replies

BennettsBloke · 16/04/2012 14:00

Just want to put this out there as I really need to get it off my chest and not really ready to talk with friends about it. The other internet forum I use knows me a bit too well to throw this out there.

My wife had a biochemical pregancy some months ago and, I'm sure like others here, we didn't understand the term. Now I do - it felt very cold and clinical. We now realise it was "just" an early loss - it still feels sad. Her system had binned the embryo within a couple of days after the positive test. High to Low!!

We have been undergoing fertility treatment by the NHS in Bristol (BCRM, and we're very early stage treatment). My wife was scanned and a polyp was found in her womb - which the consultant explained, could be causing embryos to be rejected as the womb needs to be a "perfect place" for the embryo to continue through development. She went for a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy where they checked the abdominal area for symptoms of endometriosis and then found and removed the polyp from her womb.

At our next appointment, she was scanned again and the consultant saw what she thought might be another polyp - but doubted this very much as that would have been three weeks after removal of the first one. She thinks (and we hope) it might just have been a fold in the womb lining - that is showing up as a polyp shaped shadow. We had already had one "go" of trying for another natural conception (after the L&H) and we're about to go for IUI (I'm 40, sperm are within normal parameters and wife has plenty of eggs and is 37). Anyway, she's due for another scan this week to check if there's a polyp.

Then, Saturday morning I get whacked on the head at 5.30am - with a test stick held in front of quite bleary eyes - "I'm pregnant!!".

So, now I'm just really worried - afraid to be happy. She appears to be experiencing early pregnancy symptoms different to those the last time - ie. she says she feels much different - much more tired, a bit more hormonal, a bit more nauseous, etc. I dunno, maybe we're hoping for too much.

What should we do about the scan - wait till Friday and then tell the person doing the scan (our present consultant is on annual leave, so she got a colleague to squeeze us in) that we've had a positive test or ring them and tell them now?

Sorry to ramble on a bit, but I'm sure you all know how these early days feel - it's hard to keep it all in - especially as we've been on the rollercoaster of trying for the last few years without any success - while seeing friends, relatives, etc popping them out (of course, I realise that they may have all experienced difficulties too without anyone else knowing) - but you know the feeling.

Just looking for anyone out there that's been in the same boat.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

theressomethingaboutmarie · 16/04/2012 14:09

Hello - I've no advice for you but wanted to congratulate you on your positive news! I sincerely hope that all goes well for you!

Original poster

BennettsBloke · 16/04/2012 14:11

Thanks very much for your positive thoughts.

Oh and sorry if I should have posted this in the "Conception" section

OP posts:

MyDogShitsShoes · 16/04/2012 14:11

Haven't been in the same boat but as someone who ttc for 4 years and finally conceived naturally whilst undergoing investigation for a blocked tube and ovarian cyst I can empathise.

It is do difficult because you are torn between sheer joy and excitement and overwhelming fear.

I'm sure plenty of people with great advice will be along shortly but just wanted to say that how you're feeling is totally normal.

All you can do is accept these feelings for what they are and take each day as it comes.

I really hope everything goes well for you.

Aworryingtrend · 16/04/2012 14:14

Hi there, and congratulations! I was told I had a polyp in my uterus about a year ago and am now 13 weeks pregnant, I was told it could be there because I wasn't ovulating (I had been on th pill for a long time) but obviously there are other reasons too.

The main thing is you have a BFP now, but I completely understand your fear after your loss last time. It is only now we have had our scan at 13 weeks that I am starting to relax a little. It is a very good sign that your wife is having symptoms, these mean that the pregnancy hormones are strong which is what causes the sickness and hormones going into overdrive.

Personally if it was me I would go for the scan and tell them then that you have 'just' had a positive result- they may still scan her and will be able to tell if sac is in right place etc- although unless she will be more than 7 weeks it may be too soon to detect a heartbeat.

good luck!

HereIGo · 16/04/2012 14:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Elsathelion · 16/04/2012 14:15

Congratulations and sorry to hear things have been difficult.

I know what it's like to have been trying for ages and the early days are the most stressful. How do you feel about calling the clinic and asking their advice? I don't know the medical implications of what you and your wife have been through but they could at least give you some advice and, hopefully, put your mind at rest.

Very best of luck and do allow yourself at least a little hurrah at the positive test!

HereIGo · 16/04/2012 14:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GinPalace · 16/04/2012 14:18

Congratulations!

Personally I would go to the scan anyway, if you're expecting it can be confirmed, if not you still need the appointment. With your history they won't think that is odd.

Original poster

BennettsBloke · 16/04/2012 15:04

Thank you so much for the positive comments. We're taking each day as it comes and keeping our fingers crossed. I guess we'll keep the appointment for the scan and tell them we've "just" had a +ve test. They may be able to see stuff on that scan anyway. Though, I understand it's too early to be able to give any meaningful results.

And, yes, "biochemical pregnancy" seems such a clinical term for what is after all an early loss. Obviously made up by a male scientist.

Once again, thanks for the support. I will keep updating via this thread as we go along.

OP posts:

nickelhasababy · 16/04/2012 15:09

sorry for your loss (and the horrid name it's given)
fingers crossed that this one is full term and beyond!

i would ring them,personally, but still go for the scan on friday.

CailinDana · 16/04/2012 15:19

Congratulations!

I know how hard it is to keep positive after a loss. I would say keep the appointment, just mention the pregnancy to the consultant when you go in (as if you have just found out) and see what he/she says. They might tell give your wife a scan anyway which would be lovely and reassuring for you. Or they might just send you home. Either way, all good.

I hope everything goes well for you guys :)

BoffinMum · 16/04/2012 15:26

It can be an emotional rollercoaster, but all you can do is take it one day at a time, and be nice to yourselves, for example having a few nice meals out, a few dates and so on.

The advice about telling professionals as you encounter them is good.

Original poster

BennettsBloke · 16/04/2012 15:49

Oooh, according to due date calculators, we could be having a Christmas baby.

OP posts:

HaggisNeepsTatties · 16/04/2012 16:02

I had a polyp removed last year and am now 15 weeks pregnant with my 1st, so hope this is a similar story for you.
As other posters have said I'd go for the scan and let them know on the day. You won't be able to see much, but they should be able to confirm all is as expected for the timings and that it's in the right place. The scan is exactly the same (in my experience anyway) for checking for a polyp as it is during early pregnancy, so won't do any harm.
Good luck!

Original poster

BennettsBloke · 16/04/2012 16:12

I had a polyp removed last year and am now 15 weeks pregnant with my 1st, so hope this is a similar story for you.

Fantastico. Did they think that it was a problem when you were ttc?

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HaggisNeepsTatties · 16/04/2012 16:24

I had one early miscarriage before they found the polyp and they thought that might have been the problem, though it's difficult to say. It did take us 18 months just to get pregnant before the miscarriage so it may have been the polyp had a part to play in that.
After the polyp was removed it took about another 5 months of trying before I fell pregnant this time.

geraldinetheluckygoat · 16/04/2012 16:25

Oh congratualtions!! I hope that it all goes well, we too tried for ages and then lost our first. We were about to start fertility treatment when I became pregnant, then for various reasons we thought we were losing that one too, but it all turned out well in the end - he's doing his maths homework fairly ineffectively as I type! I am sending lots of positive thoughts your way and I hope it all turns out brilliantly for you both.

BTW I had a boxing day baby with my second, its great fun....hes hotwheeling right now!

Impatientwino · 16/04/2012 16:34

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

My husband and I had been TTC for 18 months so not as long as you and following a HSG last summer I had a polyp removed on 5th October and having been told that anything was unlikely to happen for a few months I conceived 25 days later on 30th October! I am now 25 weeks pregnant with a very active little boy!

DH sperm count very good, my ovulation levels were high, consistent regular cycles so there was no obvious reason for our struggling to conceive aside from the polyp. The consultant said that the polyp was very near my tube and could have affected the lining of my womb or the implantation of any eggs so this seems to have worked for us.

p.s I'm a Christmas baby and I love it - 20th so not too close but close enough that everyone is in a celebratory mood and since being an adult everyone is always up for a night out and a drink!

confuzed90 · 16/04/2012 17:10

Aww you made me cry! (Could be the emotional wreck of a hormonal lady though) but I really want to say I wish you luck and a major congratulations. I hope and pray that everything goes ok!sounds like you really deserve some good news and a lovely family.

SoozyWoozy · 16/04/2012 19:22

I've had one ectopic pregnancy, one chemical pregnancy and two miscarriages, on top of 3 healthy daughters this current pregnancy, and even though the 4 'successful' pregnancies have been consecutive I can honestly say the fear never goes away. The chemial pregnancy was the easiest (for want of a better word - none were easy really) to deal with. I think because it was so very early that I was able to rationalise it better than losing a pregnancy between 8 and 12 weeks like the others.

I paid for early reassurance scans with all of my pregnancies - my early days are dominated by the terror of another ruptured ectopic - and can honestly say that it is the best £100 I've ever spent :)

I wish you the very best of luck with the pregnancy... I am living proof that even in the most unlikely circumstances a pregnancy and baby can be achieved. And I say that with the biggest two fingers up to the awful consultant who told me I'd never have children after my ectopic :o

Original poster

BennettsBloke · 16/04/2012 19:44

Wow...all these positive vibes are really cheering me up and giving me hope.

Well, another day since the +ve test drifts by with nothing happening drifts towards its end.

I assume most, if not all, the replies are from girls so thanks for everything you've said so far. We're both trying to keep level heads and keep a lid on the excitement, but it's hard. Thankfully Mrs BennettsBloke is working from home all this week so can take it nice and easy.

I'll keep updating as we go - it's nice to have some "friends" with which to share the experience, albeit anonymously.

OP posts:

MrsHeffley · 16/04/2012 19:52

Best of luck,fingers crossed.IVF mum(7 years)of twins and a natural miracle I was told was impossible.We had endo,PCOS,dodgy tubes,dodgy sperm-a full house!!!!!

My sister carried twins successfully with a cyst the size of a grapefruit so keep positive!

MariaCallous · 16/04/2012 20:03

Congrats BB. I can't tell you how crossed my fingers are for you. I too would keep the appointment. I got an early scan with DD and there was a heartbeat at 6w2d. Didn't relax for another 35 weeks!

rrrayray · 17/04/2012 08:45

Congratulations!

gwenniebee · 17/04/2012 10:18

First of all, congratulations!

We, too, were having treatment in Bristol (at St Michael's) and we actually found out about our bump while we were seeing the consultant as hadn't bothered to check - didn't think it could have happened! That was in October, and all I can say is so far so good for us...!

I would go for the scan anyway, but what they will probably want to do is book you in for another scan in two or three weeks' time when hopefully they will be able to see the heartbeat and give you a preliminary due date :) So exciting for you, I really hope all goes well.

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